Lecture_14_Relationships and Attraction Flashcards
The importance of relationships is evident from…
The damaging consequences of loneliness
Consequences of Loneliness
- Predicts depression, anxiety, and heart disease
- Has health risks comparable to smoking and drinking; higher than obesity
- Is associated with a variety of negative health outcomes, including heart disease.
- Motivates reconnection with others
The Forces of Attraction
- Familiarity
- Similarity
- Being liked
- Physical attractiveness
Familiarity
Mere exposure leads to liking
Mere Exposure
Repeated exposure to as stimulus increases our liking for that stimulus
- Subliminally presented stimuli: This means the stimuli were presented without the participant’s awareness
- Does not depend on conscious awareness or memory
Proximity
Proximity influences liking through familiarity
- Proximity leads to familiarity, which subsequently increases liking
- Proximity = propinquity
- The people we see and interact with most frequently are most likely to become our friends and lovers
Similarity
“Similarity as a social glue”
- Matching interests, values, attitudes, backgrounds,
or personalities
Types of Similarity
- Similar opinions and personalities
- Similar experiences and interests
- Looking similar
- Genetic similarity
Similar Opinions
- Demographically similar, e.g., a shared rural background
- Shared their attitudes and values, e.g., similar majors or political view
Similar Personalities
- Gay men high on stereotypically masculine traits desired partners who were logical - a stereotypically masculine trait
- Gay men high on stereotypically feminine traits desired partners who were expressive, which is a stereotypically feminine trait
- Similar personality characteristics are preferred by heterosexual couples and for the people we befriend
Shared Interests and Experiences
- Students are more likely to befriend people in this classroom because of the initial similarity that brought you here and now proximity
- People who select the same situations also share experiences, which are unique from those of others who chose different situations
- Create new relationships and strengthen existing relationships
- Promote platonic (non-romantic) and romantic attraction
Similar Appearance
- Physical similarity influence the distant of seating choices: wearing glasses, the same hair color
- Similarity in attractiveness
Genetic Similarity
Our genes are more similar to our friends’ genes than the genes of strangers
- Humans do not recognize this genetic similarity
Criticism of Similarity
- Perceived similarity
- False beliefs
- Degree of similarity
Perceived Similarity
“Perceived, not actual similarity”
- Perceived similarity does not always reflect reality
False beliefs
- Feeling similar to significant others – meaning important people in our lives - is so important to us that we sometimes develop false beliefs about our similarity to them
- Intentionally become similar to each other
Degree of similarity
We don’t always value similarity to the same degree
- Long-term: similarity is more important in long-term, committed relationships
- Short-term: people sometimes go out of their way to look for someone different
- Difference -> feel more adventurous and reduce the likelihood that the relationship becomes more serious
Being Liked
“We like being liked”
- Knowing someone likes us increases our attraction to that person
- Just knowing someone likes us is so powerful that it can sometimes compensate for an absence or lack of similarity
- Nonverbal: Maintaining eye contact, leaning towards them, and listening attentively
Friend Ranking
The first person would rate the second person as their closest friend as the second person rate them as their closest friend
- Better than:
- Positive traits (caring, intelligence, attractiveness, and popularity)
- How long they were friends (in years)
- How often they see each other
- Perceived similarity
- Benefits received
- Ratio of benefits received to help given
Physical Attractiveness
Particularly important when it comes to first impressions
- Predict the degree the others want to meet again
- Maybe only under no serious situation
How important is attractiveness to men and women?
- Men and women PAY EQUAL ATTENTION to others’ attractiveness -> Eliciting sexual desire
- Men VALUE attractiveness more than women: Attitude > behavior measure
- Homo = Hetero
Cross-cultural Similarity in Perceived Beauty
- Despite differences in the facial features of people from different parts of the world
- People agree about what an attractive face looks like
The Evolutionary Preference for Attractive Faces
- Infants whose perceptions of attractiveness would not be shaped by the media, prefer the same photographs as adults
- Symmetry: Markers of reproductive fitness, good health, and good genes
- Average faces:
*We do not find people who are average looking attractive - We find people with average features and
proportions attractive
Cheerleader Effect
The attractiveness of a person in a group is influenced by the presence of other group members
- Our visual system represents the individuals and the group as whole
- Our perception of individuals in the group is affected by our perception of the group as a whole.
- Groups are attractive for the same reason that averaged faces are attractive
Practice questions: What is the mere exposure effect?
A tendency to find something attractive based on frequency of the encounter
Practice questions: How does the mere exposure effect apply to relationships?
People may choose partners who they meet frequently more than less frequently
Practice questions: which factor(s) influence(s) you most in romantic relationships? which factor(s) influence(s) you most in friendships?
Similarity and Familiarity
Practice questions: Why do we find averaged faces attractive?
Practice questions: What is the cheerleader effect?
People become more attractive when they are in group compared to being alone
Criteria for a theory about love
- Distinct from liking
- Captures different different kinds of love from the passionate desperation of Romeo and Juliet to the more tranquil commitment of a long-term couple growing old together
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
- Intimacy
- Feelings of closeness and connection - Passion
- Feelings of attraction and leads to sexual relations - Long-term commitment
Combinations of Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
- Compassionate: Intimacy + Commitment
- Fatuous: Commitment + Passion
- Romantic: Passion + Intimacy
- Consummate: Intimacy + Commitment + Passion
Love in Different Cultures
- Arranged marriage -> Low divorce rate
- Low divorce rate != Happy marriage
Cultural Differences & Prioritizing Romantic Love
Individualistic cultures emphasize romantic love more than collectivist cultures
Individualistic Love
- Becomes involved with a new partner, they often become so involved with their partner that they virtually ignore friends and family for a while
- Deciding who to date or marry is a personal decision
- Romantic love
Collectivist Love
- Consider the wishes of family and other members of their group
- Agreeing to an arranged marriage
- Companionate love
Love on the Brain
- Feeling euphoric
- Mere presence of the person we love -> hearts racing, causes our breath to quicken, and brings our body to full alert
- These feelings can be so strong that they distract us from other aspects of our lives
- Similar to cocaine and (to a lesser degree) chocolate
- Restlessness, sleeplessness, and loss of appetite
Romantic Love’s Brain Areas
- Ventral tegmental area (VTA): reward processing and dopamine
- Caudate nucleus
Gender Differences in Casual Relationships
- When women were approached by a man, 0% said yes
- When men were approached by a woman, 72% said yes
Cases of Casual with Attractive People
No significant effects of gender
Romantic Preference and Gender Equality
- High gender equality <-> Smaller differences in mate preference
- Low gender equality <-> Bigger differences in mate preference
Self-expansion theory
Humans are motivated to incorporate aspects of others – such as their beliefs, perspectives, and values - into ourselves
- Mentally expand themselves through our relationships with significant others and being a part of groups
- Self-expansion predicted sexual desire, which, in turn, predicted relationship satisfaction
3 Stages of Self-expansion Theory
- Relationship start: Rapid changes in our sense of self -> desire for intimacy as individuals grow from the relationship
- Over time: Opportunities for growth decrease -> reduction in a desire for intimacy and relationship satisfaction
- Introduce further opportunities: for growth and self-other overlap through experiences that are novel, exciting, challenging, and interesting
Practice questions: The triangular theory of love, do you believe people’s preferences for love change as they get older?
Practice questions: What kind of love do people in your home country traditionally look for? Is this changing?
Practice questions: Women’s preferences for casual relationships change depending on the situation. Why might this happen?
