Lecture 5 Flashcards
What is Baumeister’s definition of unrequited love?
Romantic passionate love that is felt by one person toward another who feels substantially less attraction
Why does Unrequited love happen?
- Falling upward
- Intrusion of romantic feelings into a platonic friendship
- Transition from casual dating to serious, possibly exclusive relationship
What are three things that automatically happen when we set a goal?
- Focus attention on goal related information
- Know you must give Effort
- We know we will have to Persist
Why is it so difficult to disengage from unrequited love goals?
- Vicarious learning (TV, movies)
2. Difficulty delivering rejection
What is Baumeister’s advice for people who are being pursued?
Be as clear as possible in regection
Who does Baumeister think has the more difficult role in an unrequited love situation?
The person who is being pursed
In Baumeister’s study of university students how many experienced unrequited love as both the pursuer and the pursued
60%
What are the Advantages of focusing only on people who had experienced both roles (pursuer and pursued)?
Removes personality as a factor, it’s not just a specific kind of person who is always having these kinds of experiences
How many university students have experienced unrequited love?
95%
What is falling upward?
When there is a mismatch between the levels of attractiveness
Why does falling upward happen?
We are drawn to maximally attractive
