Charisma & Stories II Flashcards
Be genuinely helpful.
Before you ever ask for anything, it’s better that your audience of leads trust you. Creating and establishing this trust is a matter of conveying information in a way that seems like it’s in the best interest of the recipient, not the business (i.e. you).
Example: A fantastic look at this is Chubbies Shorts. They put out amazingly fun content that genuinely helps their audience enjoy summer. Their tutorial of how to build a pool for under $100 has 1.5 million FB shares.
Pretty sure, Chubbies is selling some board shorts from that traffic, even though it doesn’t even require an opt-in.
Unitary Focus
When you’re talking about what you (or your products) do best, don’t mention the competition.
Occasionally, the chart that shows your features compared to your competitors is necessary, but not in the pre-suasion phase. The positive features should be communicated in a way that establishes trust.
Mentioning competition early on is like a novel including a list of books just like it on the back cover instead of influencer reviews and a blurb about the author.
Causality With Focus
Ok, let’s take a look at two quick scenarios.
A case study that just explains how a user benefited from your software, or
A small documentary-style case study showing your user engaging the product and then tell exactly how they went from where they were to where they are using your product.
The footage of the product being used before the testimonial and facts are heard causes the focus to be on your product—associating the thing you’re selling with the success.
With our first example, your leads are disconnected from the product being the cause of the success.
Word Associations
People love labeling things.
It helps us file things away in our mind without fully having to understand them. This is also why PR and sales folks have to constantly change and define new terms.
For instance, people don’t like the word “liberal”, let’s try “progressive”. Not down with “global warming”? How about “climate change”. It’s not “used”, but “like-new” or “gently pre-owned”.
Find that lingo and reinforce positive associations while avoiding negative associations.
The Almighty Metaphor
Metaphors are no joke. This tool is powerful in pre-suasion (and plain ole persuasion).
You may have noticed, but I used a little bit of this one in number 8. Feel free to go back and take a look at the cake analogy (an analogy is one of the seven types of metaphor).
There is no substitute for getting a message across to an audience in a way that is memorable and builds trust.
Sure, they aren’t always useful (on page copy would be one example). But webinars, live demos, and just about any audible presentation are prime metaphorical territory.
Implicit Egoism
Everyone wants to hear about themselves, how they’re smart, useful, getting the best. If you want people to be “pre-suaded” for your marketing message, make sure you’re talking about them—implicitly.
USE THEY’RE NAMES.
Use the words (you, your, you will, etc.) in a way that makes it clear who’s benefiting, but not in a way that’s just “blowing smoke”.
Target Chuting
Even the questions you ask have to be skewed toward positive statements.
Being neutral or negative doesn’t get the brain juices flowing in your direction.
Open-ended questions like: “How likely are you to X?” or “Are you dissatisfied with your current solution?” can easily get people in a raw or indecisive mood.
Instead, try:
How important is it to your organization to improve [benefit of your product]?
What would it do if you could free up [resource] and use it for more [benefit]?
Do you consider yourself an effective [attribute]? (Make sure you’re affirming here, not setting them up for disappointment.)
Aligned Stimuli
A lot of the techniques of pre-suasion deal with common sense things that few take the time to think about.
All of the elements have to not only have a purpose but also make sense.
Example: If you’re selling an AARP membership, you’re not going to have a kid from the Disney channel hawking it. You’ll get a major actor for the Boomer/Gen X generation. That just makes sense, right?
Make sure your elements line up to stimulate the correct response.
The Zeigemik Effect
You remember the Adam West Batman?
Like every episode ended with a “Will Batman save Robin from…” and “Tune in next time to see the conclusion of…”
This technique, like most powerful tools, can backfire.
But there’s nothing wrong with doing an email that entices an audience to click through, or doing a multi-series blog post that is back loaded with extreme value.
Power of the Mystery
You can make anything more mysterious—just ask JJ Abrams.
The more you entice with mystery, the more your audience will stick it out. Of course, there has to be a payoff at some point. If the guy and girl from your favorite show never get together, you stop watching eventually.
I’ll even give you an example of what you’d think would be a difficult product.
Example: Do you actually know how the most popular and common toilet paper brands are made? We made a video about it here.
I linked to a “how it’s made” post (you probably know that by now ;).
But you could totally link to your video explaining how the average batch of TP is made with 10,000 gallons of chemicals. If you make a non-toxic wipe, easy peasy sale.
The Power of Unity
Everyone knows someone who is just instantly loveable. Using these tricks does this with your brand.
You can take that likeability and really drive it home through the language you use. If you name your products, groups, etc. with familial labels, your leads and customers will feel a closer connection.
Ford, George Foreman, Clark Bars, Walmart. All named after someone and have staying power.
Sure, over time they become large heartless corporations, but all had a time where the person worked there and was (typically) well received.
Get a good wing.
If your leads drag someone else off the couch into the conversation, they are now in league with you. They’ll defend and sell your products from an angle you don’t have—friendship.
Using the example from #19, why not try and get them to tag their friends and get them onto your live videos? Boom!
Authority 2.0
The trifecta of authority:
The Message: What you’re saying has to be well-crafted, compelling, and involves some psychology.
The Medium: Using video, web copy, or audio all need to be well thought-out, high-quality, and popular amongst your target demographic.
The Messenger: This goes back to number 12. Make sure the person doing the talking knows what they’re talking about and looks the part (if necessary).
Scarcity 2.0
Urgency and scarcity are a one-two punch for marketers when done properly.
Software startups can do this every so often in the early stages to stimulate growth.
When you stair-step up your pricing, you’ll gain a lot of momentum by advertising the change.
If you started out as free, but are doing away with the freemium model, you can explode growth.
Make sure you publicize your pricing change, deal expiration, or other scarcity tactics wisely. Don’t overdo it.
Reciprocity 2.0
Marketers don’t like freeloaders—they LOVE them! Why?
Because most people hate being a freeloader. Sure there are always people who just in it to get something for free.
But even if it’s most of your audience, the ones who purchase more than make up for it.
Give them something incredible, unexpected and tailored to them. In a word valuable. Expect nothing, but give an opportunity to show gratitude.
Consistency 2.0
Everyone feels like a walking mess sometimes, but we all like to think of ourselves as consistent.
Making a commitment or a public stance on a product/service makes your leads/customers bring something that puts their credibility on the line (either publically or even in their own mind).
A few examples:
Calendar reminders
A quick mention that you’re counting on them to make a meeting
Make it super easy to refer a friend, making them accountable for your product to their inner circle
The Consequences
Insurance sales is the industry that does this the best.
What happens if you die?
Immediately your mind floods with what will my spouse do, or my kids.
I may have just sold a policy for some agent out there, just by getting you to think about it for a second.
It’s that powerful. But, when laying out the consequences of passing you by, always give legitimate steps to avoid the problems—even if they don’t use you.
This is the right thing to do and it builds credibility instead of making them think you’re too sales-y.
Contextual Impact
Most storytelling needs a little bit of “stage setting” in order to really draw people in.
If you see the characters of a movie doing some seemingly mundane stuff at the beginning of a movie—you’re probably going to like the entire movie.
Why?
You feel like you know the characters, which makes you pay more attention to the plot.
Build the story around your message with details that complement said message.
“When human beings have their own reasons for doing
something, they’re more likely to do it; they’re more
likely to believe in the reasons for doing it; they’re more
likely to sustain that behavior,” Daniel says.
Attunement is an ability to get out of your own head
and into the head of the person you’re attempting to
persuade. It’s not about coercion; it’s about seeing the
situation through their eyes.
- Daniel Pink
“When human beings have their own reasons for doing something, they’re more likely to do it; they’re more likely to believe in the reasons for doing it; they’re more likely to sustain that behavior,” Daniel says.
Attunement is an ability to get out of your own head
and into the head of the person you’re attempting to
persuade. It’s not about coercion; it’s about seeing the
situation through their eyes. This skill, called perspective-taking, requires you to:
- See where a person’s coming from.
What motivations, concerns, and
biases do they bring to the table? - Understand what they’re saying. You’ve
got to truly grasp what they want. - Honor their point of view. Respecting their
position can build a bridge to agreement.
Be advised: The more powerful the person, the worse
they are at perspective-taking. If you’re in a position
of authority, dialing back your power level will actually
help here. Are you a manager trying to persuade an employee to take on additional work? Imagine yourself
as their peer for a moment. How would you persuade
them to take on the new project if you didn’t have
the authority to simply assign it? How would you feel
if you were the employee being asked to take on new
work? As an exercise, try some perspective-taking
with the people in your life—your kids, your spouse,
your friends.
Managing power discrepancies between you and the
person you’re attempting to negotiate with is critical.
- Daniel Pink
Managing power discrepancies between you and the
person you’re attempting to negotiate with is critical.
When you’re selling to someone with more power than
you—for instance, asking a manager about a raise—keep these tips in mind:
Approach the interaction in terms of how your
promotion will ultimately be beneficial to your
manager.
Help your manager see problems in a different
light; find the right problem that your promotion will help solve.
Appeal to your manager’s sense of fairness (and
don’t hesitate to hint at the fact that you may
quit if treated unfairly).
When dealing with people with less power than you,
reduce your own feelings of power. Practice intellectual
humility; no matter how brilliant you are, you don’t have
all the answers. Doing this will allow your perspective-taking to really take off.
Empathy is the complement to perspective-taking.
By zeroing in on a buyer’s emotions, you’re increasing
the chances of getting them to act as you wish. Bear
in mind that persuasion is a dialogue; it’s the hunt for
common ground. What was once purely about irritation (getting someone to do what you want) is now
also about agitation (getting someone to do what they
should do and will ultimately want to do). The latter is a
better method because it spurs a person’s own motivations for making change.
B IS FOR BUOYANCY - Daniel Pink
Buoyancy measures your ability to float “in an ocean of
rejection,” as Daniel calls it. As a seller/persuader, you’re going to hear “no” many more times than “yes.” Managing this means equipping yourself to deal with rejection—a.k.a. becoming more buoyant.
Want to build up your own raft? Make an effort to
de-catastrophize rejection. What seems like the end of
the world—well, it just isn’t. This type of thinking can
be the product of a three-headed beast of self-biases.
We call them the Three Ps.
Personal Bias
You tend to believe rejection is somehow a referendum on who you are as a person. This isn’t
necessarily correct. If you get rejected during a
sale, look for all the ways this decision wasn’t
based on who you are or what you did (or
didn’t) say. There might be other factors at play.
Pervasive Bias
Rejection can beget a loop of negative confirmation. You think: “This always happens!” But in reality, it doesn’t always happen. Focus instead on all the times you’ve prevailed in the past.
Permanent Bias
If it’s large enough, even one rejection can feel
like an indelible black mark on your status as a
persuader. Truth is, this single rejection is far
from the final word. Think about all the ways
things aren’t ruined. Then get back up, dust
yourself off, and start selling again.
C IS FOR CLARITY - Daniel Pink
“Clarity is simply the ability to see a situation in a fresh
light and help people surface problems they didn’t realize that they had,” Daniel says.
Effective persuasion tactics are born from providing
clarity. In the past, sales was a role that revolved around expertise—the seller knowing more than the buyer. But the era of information parity means shifting the persuader’s role from gatekeeper to curator. It also means shifting from problem-solving to problem-finding. The salesmen of yore would have said, “It looks like you’re in the market
for a vacuum.”
Now, the smart salesperson says, “Tell me
about your house.” Think about the problems around your home or office that you’re currently attempting to solve.
Next, take a step back and ask: “Is there a root cause to these problems that I may be missing?” Sure, you might be in the market for a vacuum cleaner because your floors are dirty. But why are your floors dirty? If it’s because of your pup, Fido, maybe you’re actually in the market for a dog groomer, not a vacuum.
To that end, part of providing clarity as a salesperson
hinges on being an expert on issues that contextualize
the transaction. Today’s vacuum salesperson actually
needs to be in the home cleanliness business—a knowledgeable figure in the field of maintaining a tidy, healthy environment—not just a pro regarding the inner workings of a Dyson. This is where you’ll use your expertise to guide the customer to the best solution for his or her particular need.
Your worth comes from an ability to synthesize knowledge for the buyer’s benefit.
In terms of persuasive techniques, don’t hesitate to
rely on social proof, which involves using the pressure of peer comparison to influence behavior. Telling the head of a firm that his or her computer system is extremely outdated can work; telling him or her that it’s extremely outdated when compared with the company’s biggest competitor can work even better.
This moment of clarity for your customer might result
in a transformative purchase for them—and a transformative commission for you.
Giving Yourself a Pep Talk: The 30-Second Primer - Daniel Pink
The old-school approach to sales relies on positive, affirmative self-talk (“You can do this!”). Instead, try using interrogative self-talk (“Can I do this? Okay, how?”). This forces you to answer questions and, in doing so, to plan, strategize, and rehearse. The result is improved overall performance.
“When Blemishing Leads to
Blossoming” - Daniel Pink
A small dose of negative
information, added to
an otherwise positive
description, yields
favorable results.
Influence in meetings - Daniel Pink
Want to visualize how influence
works in a group setting? Try
making what Daniel calls a discussion map. Use a circle and a speaker’s first
initial to represent everyone in a discussion.
Every time someone speaks, draw an arrow
from them to whomever they’re addressing.
When the discussion wraps, take stock and
analyze.
Keep a few things in mind here. People
who talk a lot (person A) are often the people
who are struggling for influence.
Also, when
someone stays relatively quiet (person D),
make sure to look at how often they’re being
addressed by others. If they don’t say much
but are getting a disproportionate amount of
attention, it signals that they have leverage.
Breaking down influence might seem
high-stakes, but you don’t need to sit in with a
Fortune 500 boardroom to get some insight. A
discussion map works around the dining room
table or even when you’re out with friends.
Give it a shot. It’ll give you a better idea about
the power dynamics within group settings.
Persuasive framing - Daniel Pink
Persuasive framing allows you to contextualize a sale on the terms you set. While you don’t need to use a frame every time, this can be a remarkably effective tool.
A major part of knowing how to frame a pitch persuasively comes from understanding that humans inherently
fall victim to cognitive bias: We tend to let our subjective
reality—or how we perceive the world—take precedence
over an objective reality.
Daniel cites a few different
cognitive biases: loss aversion, opportunity cost, and experiential value. These three biases can be distilled down into three primary types of persuasive framing:
The Experience Frame - Daniel Pink
The Experience Frame draws on people’s tendency to value experiences over goods and services. In attempting to sell someone a house, you sell them on the experiences made possible by home ownership rather
than the property itself.
The Potential Frame - Daniel Pink
The Potential Frame embraces the fact that
potential is often more persuasive than current
performance. When going for a promotion, you tell a boss all the ways you’d succeed in
the new role instead of listing ways you’re competent in your current role.
The Loss Frame - Daniel Pink
The Loss Frame contextualizes a sale around
what the buyer stands to lose if they don’t hit the bid. Selling someone insurance is the classic example of this frame.
Cognitive bias - Daniel Pink
Cognitive bias ultimately affects how and why people
make a decision. In sales, it’s always beneficial to consider cognitive bias when you’re pitching—it’ll help you decide which of the three frames above might work best in
a particular circumstance. “If you understand cognitive
biases, you understand message framing, you understand human thinking,” Daniel say
effective pitch - Daniel Pink
“[Effective] pitches…invite the other side in as a collaborator,” Daniel says. Our conventional notion of an effective pitch—you do a special song and dance, the investor whips out their checkbook—is pretty antiquated.
As Daniel reminds us, the concept of an “elevator pitch” (so named because the pitch should be no longer than 20 or 30 seconds, or the length of a short elevator ride) was actually used to sell elevators before the Civil War.
In truth, crafting an effective pitch these days is much like any other sale: You have to find common ground with the buyer, invite them to collaborate, and show how their interests are served by agreeing to the terms. And, like persuasive framing, there are a variety of pitch techniques you can employ.
Question Pitch - Daniel Pink
One of them is the Question Pitch. This turns your
pitch statement into an interrogative, transforming
“I have the world’s greatest carbon monoxide detector” into “How much is it worth to you to protect your family?” Asking a question immediately gets the person
you’re pitching involved by inviting a response. That’s
why questions are often more effective than statements.
Rhyming Pitch - Daniel Pink
Another is the Rhyming Pitch. Despite seeming
outdated, this technique has been shown to be persuasive. (“See the USA in your Chevrolet” remains a classic, no?) We’re primed to be pleased by this type of language from an early age. While you don’t want to overuse it, deploying the occasional rhyme as part of your pitch can be effective.
TIMING IS
EVERYTHING
Your internal rhythms have a more profound effect
on your productivity than you might realize - Daniel Pink
Persuasion, fundamentally, is about human nature. And
one of the most important methods for understanding
human nature is to appreciate our inherent rhythms. Try
thinking about each day in three stages:
Peak: Early to midmorning. This is the time
when you’re most alert and equipped for
analytical work. Big decisions are best made
during this period.
Trough: Late morning to early afternoon. This
is the time when your performance might start
to lag and your energy levels may begin to drop.
It’s a time best saved for administrative work.
Recovery: Late afternoon to early evening. This is the time when your energy levels begin to rebound, making it ideal for iterative
or creative work.
Bear in mind that these levels of productivity don’t necessarily apply to all people. You might be different, Daniel
says, depending on your chronotype. (Take a moment to self-identify: Are you a “lark” or an “owl”?) Regardless, this daily flow can be a useful lens for tackling projects
and even approaching larger, broader life goals.
TIMING IS
EVERYTHING II - Daniel Pink
Beginnings: Pick a date or day of the week
that makes symbolic sense to begin something
big. Starting on a Monday (rather than, say, a
Thursday) is more likely to help your project
be a success. Also, do a premortem by generating a list of potential stumbling blocks and
blind spots as part of your preparation. Once
you identify those, formulate a plan for how to
avoid them and jot down a few practical solutions in case they do arise.
Middles: These are tricky. Sometimes they
drag us down; research shows that happiness
tends to lag in midlife. But when used properly,
they can also fire us up. In that spirit, try using
project midpoints as a form of motivation. If
you can think of yourself as slightly behind
when reaching the midpoint of a project, it
might encourage you to pick up the pace.
Endings: They should energize you. People
tend to push harder once the end is in sight.
Who doesn’t love going out on top? Use the
looming finish line of a project as an opportunity to make things happen.
As a persuader, you should aim to get your audience to
see the endgame. That’s because endings help encode the message; what happens at the end of an experience has
an outsize effect on our perception of the event in its totality. In practice, this means the end of your sell should be designed to leave a lasting impression. Save your best lines, and your most convincing arguments, for the wrapup. Finish strong
Master Minds - Daniel Pink
The neuroscience revolution has shed new light on how our brains react to
being persuaded. (Literally.) Studies have found a link between persuasive arguments and increased brain activity. This occurs specifically in the prefrontal
cortex, the area involved in decision-making, personality expression, and social behavior. Chalk up another win for perspective-taking, too. Per Matt Lieberman, a PhD and social cognitive neuroscientist at the University of California
in Los Angeles, data is “consistent with the notion that if you can get someone
to step into your shoes psychologically, you might be halfway home in terms of
persuading them to see the content of the message the way you want them to.”
LIVE BY YOUR WITS
On the importance of ad-libbing - Daniel Pink
I n the old-school approach to sales, you’d likely be
reciting a mental script to your mark. (Cue card:
“I bet you’re asking yourself how this product
can change your life. Well, let me tell you…”) But like
the overall role of the persuader, this facet of sales has changed with the rise of information parity. Buyers may already have questions lined up for you. And they may know enough about your product to push back against your claims.
Be ready to think on your feet—a.k.a. be
ready to improvise.
Not a natural improviser? No worries. The world of
improvisational theater is an unlikely ally for developing
your soft skills. Before you laugh, know that top business
schools like Duke and Stanford have looked to improv for lessons on adaptability.
Yes and… - Daniel Pink
Rather than a simple “yes” in response to
a comment, question, or concern, say “yes,
and…” Use this response as a connector,
bringing you—and the person you’re attempting to persuade—closer together. You can even use this phrase to disagree (“Yes, I see
what you mean, and here’s how I’d like you
to see it…”) without seeming too confrontational.
Listening is a skill - Daniel Pink
Listening is a skill. It’s also a form of information gathering, which can point to your next cue. Pay close attention to what your
customer has to say, and read between the
lines: Their response might propel a subtle
offer to collaborate, leading to the common
ground that makes a sale.
Make the other side look good. - Daniel Pink
Make the other side look good. This isn’t to
say you should pander to your customer or
flatter them simply for flattery’s sake. Instead, make them feel heard and respected.
When they offer great insights, tell them so.
As Daniel says, “When people feel elevated,
they’re more likely to go along with you.”
If we want them to: Choose a bottle of French wine
Expose them to French background music before they decide
If we want them to: Agree to try an untested product
Ask whether they consider themselves adventurous
If we want them to: Do better on a math exam (high school senior females)
Ask them to record and reflect on their year (but not their gender), and have female monitors instead of male
If we want them to: Feel warmly toward us
Hand them a warm drink
If we want them to: Be more helpful to us
Have them look at photos of individuals standing close together
If we want them to: Be more achievement oriented
Provide them with an image of a runner winning a race
If we want them to: Make careful assessments
Show them a picture of August Rodin’s The Thinker
If we want them to: Deepen their loyalty
Ask them to recommend your brand to a friend
If we want them to: Be helpful
Be helpful
If we want them to: Change a behavior (e.g. lose weight)
Create If/when… then plans (e.g. When I’m hungry at 2pm, then I will reach for an apple)
If we want them to: Gain interest in your presentation or article
Begin it with a mystery
If there is a weakness admit it up front
If there is a weakness admit it up front. It makes you look more honest and trustworthy. If they know it already it does no harm to your standing. The strength should challenge the validity of the weakness”I know I may not have experience, but I’m a fast learner”
“Let my thoughts come to you, when I am gone, like the afterglow of sunset at the margin of starry silence.”
― Rabindranath Tagore, Stray Birds
Anger is natural but destroys self control
Even though anger is natural, we cannot deny that the consequences of unrelenting and uncontrolled anger can be devastating. It’s not uncommon that anger leads to murder and history has taught us that deeply rooted anger, also called hate can lead to mass violence, war, and even genocide. Still, many people justify anger, calling it righteous anger, when you have solid reasons to be angry.
Also, people see anger as a functional emotion that assists us in asserting ourselves, and self defense and Aristotle declared anger to be a desire to repay suffering. We could also see anger as a form of energy, and when harvested the right way, it may help us to attain our goals stoic philosopher Seneca however is critical towards the validity of these claims, telling us that anger is a form of madness.
I quote, for it is equally devoid of self control, regardless of decorum forgetful of kinship obstinately engrossed in whatever it begins to do depth to reason and advice, excited by trifling causes awkward.
Anger and Nails
There’s a Buddhist story that challenges the notion of righteous anger by telling us about a young boy with a bad temper. His father was concerned about this, but instead of fighting anger with anger, he gave the boy a bag of nails and a hammer.
He told him to hammer a nail into the fence every time he loses his temper. At the first day, the boy hammers about 30 nails in the fence, but the woman thinks past the daily amount of nails decreased until the day came, that the boy didn’t lose his temper. Once he proudly told his father, who gave His Son, the instruction to pull out a nail every time he was able to suppress his temper. Finally, the day arrived, that all nails were pulled out the father showed his son the fence and said, Well done, my son.
However, I want you to look closely at the fence, it’s full of holes, which means that it has been changed forever. When you let anger out, it will leave scars, you can stick a knife in someone and pull it out. But no matter how often you apologize.
Different types of anger
Now, there are many different forms of anger, there’s rage surliness resentment bitterness harshness there’s temporary anger that lasts a few minutes, and long term anger that lasts a lifetime Tibetan Buddhist monk geisha Yong Dong, distinguished two types of anger.
Anger and cold anger. The first type of anger is the one that figuratively speaking sets oneself and the surroundings on fire. The second type of anger is the one that’s internalized and repressed, and can be carried along for years, and eats one up inside.
According to Seneca, we should not confuse human anger, with the aggression we see in animals, since human anger is based on flawed reasoning, while animal aggression is based on impulses, a fundamental difference between animals and humans, is our ability to reason Seneca doubts the usefulness of anger for humanity by explaining the nature of anger, compared to the nature of man.
Anger is weakness
” What is more savage against them than anger, mankind is born for mutual assistance, anger for mutual ruin the former loves society, the latter estrangement, the one loves to do good, the other to do harm the one to help even strangers. The other to attack, even its dearest friends, the one is ready even to sacrifice itself for the good of others. The other to plunge into peril provided it directs others with it” (seneca).
Now, is anger useful. Both Buddhist and stoic ideas, agree on one point. Anger is not useful, the Dalai Lama pointed this out in his book, a policy of kindness, stating that anger is not necessary when we have the power of reason. Moreover, when we resort to using force, we probably don’t have good reasons to do so.
I quote, if there are sound reasons, or basis for the points you demand, then there’s no need to use violence. On the other hand, when there is no sound reason that concessions should be made to you, but mainly your own desire, then reason cannot work, and you have to rely on force, does it using force is not a sign of strength, but rather a sign of weakness
Throwing a Tantrum
Therefore, when we are about to throw a tantrum. It’s always good to ask ourselves the following question Am I doing this from a place of power, or from a place of powerlessness. according to Seneca.
There’s nothing reason cannot do what anger can in his work of anger, he makes a distinction between using force, and using force with anger in some situations, it is necessary to use force. Many people believe that using force goes together with anger, and that being angry can somehow assist them in their use of force, but Seneca compared anger to drunkenness, in a battle, angry fighters have no control over their movements like drugs.
Eventually, their rationalist leads to defeat by a more intelligent opponent, that isn’t led by the passions. So what can we do about it. Well, anger comes in different stages, it may start with a light irritation which then builds up to one angry outburst when the latter is the case, it’s too late. Seneca argues that in order to remedy anger, we should become aware of it, in the early stages, and apply antidotes when it’s still small
“that which is diseased can never bear to be handled without complaining, it is best.
Therefore, to apply remedies to oneself as soon as we feel that anything is wrong, to allow oneself as little licensed as possible in speech to restrain once impetuosity. Now, it is easy to detect the first growth of our passions, the symptoms precede the disorder”
Tranquility V. Anger
So, it is clear that the stoics prefer tranquility over anger, but how do we achieve this, in Buddhist as well as stoic sources will find different approaches and ideas that can help to kick anger to the curb, an important one is patience, which, according to Seneca is a product of reason the thought behind patience is actually an important Buddhist doctrine, called impermanence, everything is in flux, and what’s happening in this moment will soon be the past, not only the things that we are upset about will lose their significance, the feelings of anger will start to subside. That’s why counting to 10 is excellent advice, although in some cases it may be better to count to 100. Another one is acknowledging that we are angry. This doesn’t mean that we act out, it’s just that we accept that emotion is present in our body, denying the fact that we are angry, for example, because we want to be Goody goodies that never get angry, regardless of our true feelings, we’re fooling ourselves and the world. It’s just another form of repression, that will end up in the unconscious, we can just say to someone, I feel angry right now, without hitting the person with a rock.
Acknowledge Anger
When we acknowledge our anger, we create space between the observer, and the emotion, without identification with that emotion. This way it won’t control us. Another one is forgiveness, which works better when it comes to long term anger like resentment, when we forgive, we can finally give ourselves permission to let go of the grudges that we have been carrying around for so long.
The stoic idea of control is a good argument to practice forgiveness, some things are in our control. Some things aren’t we can change the past, we can’t control what the person who wronged us says, Does, or feels, but we can change our position towards it, we can let go and forgive, or we can choose to drink poison, and wait for the other person to perish, but it’s more likely that this leads to our own slow and painful death.
Speech writing process
Generate Idea
- Come up with content of your ideas and other ideas. Come up with many and select most useful ideas.
- Audience analysis
- Topic selection
- Develop purpose and Thesis
- Develop main points
- Supporting points
- Research
Arrangement
- Order the points so that they are clear an memorable
- Basic structure
- problem and solution, cause and effect, compare and contrast, sequence, main idea and details
- Transitions and signpost
- Structure of support and research.
- Compose an outline
Style
- Word choice (Clear, simple, understandable)
- Figures for impact
- Metaphor (shining beacon in dark world)
Visual
Auditory
Auditory digital
Kenostetic
Adjust the speech for your specific situation
If there will need to be more rebuttal ad that. If it needs more story, add that. If it needs more verse, add that.
Memories it. Overlearn it.
“You end up well adjusted to injustice
and well adapted to indifference”
Cornell West
“Success one thing, Freedom is something else”
Cornell West
The Importance of Attention
Human beings can only focus on 1 thing at a time—once something grabs our attention, we ignore everything else. In addition, we don’t make decisions based on the most helpful or correct inputs. We make decisions based on the inputs we happen to be focusing on at that moment.
Privileged Moments
Are observable points in time when someone becomes especially receptive to a message being communicated. By using biased, one-sided questions (e.g. asking people if they’re helpful or generous), you can create privileged moments where they become vulnerable to related suggestions (e.g. asking for a donation).
Focusing illusion
Because of our limited attention, we assume that whatever we’re focusing on is more important. This means that a communicator can get us to place undue importance on something (e.g. a key feature or message) just by drawing our attention narrowly to it.
Assumed causality
The more we focus on something, the more we’re likely to believe that it’s the cause of a problem or behavior, even if these causal links are completely illogical.
Attention-grabbing stimuli.
We’re attracted to stimuli that are relevant to our survival or goals. You can capture people’s attention using sex appeal, violence/fear, changes/contrast in their environment, or by focusing on what’s relevant to them (e.g. info about them or the use of the word “you”).
Need for cognitive closure.
The Zeigarnik effect says that we pay much more attention to unfinished tasks than completed ones. You can take advantage of this effect to counter procrastination, or create a sense of mystery to draw people in and keep their attention.
The final approach suggested by Cialdini as a way of attracting attention is the use of mystery stories. Mystery stories encourage the audience to pay attention so they can solve the mystery themselves. Behavioral scientists have reinforced the importance of mysteries by identifying something called the next-in-line effect. This effect was first identified when viewing people’s recall during conversations just before speaking and just after. Essentially, people cannot focus on what is happening in front of them just before they speak. The individual is too busy rehearsing what they have to do and say within their head. Then, after speaking, the individual is focused on reviewing what they have just said. Therefore, use a lack of closure to help create better retention. Researchers have found that the adverts remembered best are those stopped five to six seconds before their natural endings. In this instance, our mind is more likely to review the advert’s information to finish the story ourselves. Hence, mysteries and cliffhangers can be highly effective marketing tools.
One of the reasons mysteries are so compelling is that counterarguments are generally more powerful than confirmatory arguments. The most effective counterarguments are ones that suggest the source of the original argument is untrustworthy. This is an approach often used in politics.
Cialdini provides an example from his own life to back up this point. Cialdini used to go around at parties and offer to read people’s palms. He was often saying broad statements such as “you are stubborn” or “you are unhappy about something,” but the guests always believed him. This is because, when deciding whether a possibility is correct, people typically look for confirmations of the idea rather than disconfirmations.
Cialdini provides a specific structure for the mystery story:
- Pose your specific mystery
- Deepen the mystery
- Hone in on a proper explanation by considering an alternative explanation. This alternative explanation should be supported by evidence
- Provide clues as to a proper explanation fo the mystery
- Resolve the mystery, coupled with help from the audience
- Outline the implications of the resolution of this mystery
Processes – The Role of Association
“In large measure, who we are with respect to any choice is where we are, attentionally, in the moment before the choice.” – Robert Cialdini
Association is one of the most effective tools for improving employee productivity and audience engagement. For example, it is possible to significantly improve workers’ performance by providing them with words and images associated with achievement. Multiple studies have shown that subtly exposing individuals to words related to achievement (win, attain, succeed) increase their performance and more than doubles their perseverance.
Another research study found that holding a heavy object leads to people perceiving presented items as more serious, important, or requiring effort. In contrast, if people are holding a warm object, then they feel closer to and more trusting of those around them.
In addition to using physical tools to your advantage, you can also use specific vocabulary to influence people’s thoughts towards your product. For example, rather than describing your products as ‘used’ you should describe them as ‘pre-owned’. Similarly, replace the word ‘cost’ with ‘investment’. Your choice of words will have a significant impact on the way others view your product.
Association II
Association can also be used by facilitating connections between people and your product or ideas. For example, people are more likely to invest in a product that shares letters of the alphabet with their names. Therefore, try and create multiple connection opportunities between your product and your potential audience. This approach will help them look upon your product more favorably.
People are more easily persuaded by things that immediately make sense to them. For example, a picture or process that is effortless to understand is viewed as more valid and worthwhile. Hence, songs and poetry with rhyming are often more popular. Similarly, humans have a bias toward liking people with easily recognizable facial features and easily pronounced names. Similarly, words that are easier to pronounce, spell, read, and remember are much more persuasive than words that aren’t. People have positive associations with ease.
Use Environments For Persuasion
When designing your product, you always want to have your target audience in mind. One way to enhance your ability to think about what your audience might like is to surround yourself with people and objects that remind you of your audience. Additionally, the environment in which your product is placed should complement your product’s vision.
The Optimization of Pre-Suasion
“So by my lights, the number one rule for salespeople is to show customers that you genuinely like them. There’s a wise adage that fits this logic well: people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” – Robert Cialdini
To increase your return, you should aim to give before asking for something. However, make sure what you are giving is meaningful, unexpected, and customized. Each of these factors is essential for optimizing your pre-suasion. On top of this, make sure the person you are talking to knows that you care. People will not care about how much you know about your product unless they understand how much you care. Therefore, show genuine interest in the other person and your product. Be likable, friendly, and humorous. The more enjoyable you are to be around, the more likely the other person will associate positive emotions with your product or idea.
Pre-suasion generial times.
General Tips
- People view popular choices as more right, both morally and practically. Therefore, you should label products you particularly want to sell as ‘most popular.’
- It is a better approach to tell people that their peers are doing what you want them to do, rather than directly telling people what to do.
- Admitting your weaknesses early on in a conversation will allow you to gain instant trustworthiness. Then, you can channel this weakness into a strength. For example, “although our product isn’t the cheapest on the market, you will save money in the long-term because of its superior build quality.”
Influence Principles
Influence Principles
The influence principles provided by Cialdini can be broken down into three stages.
Stage 1
(cultivating a positive association): use Reciprocity and Liking. Give first (in a meaningful, unexpected, customized way), highlighting genuine commonalities, and offering real compliments.
Stage 2
(reducing uncertainty): use Social Proof and Authority. Give evidence that a person’s choice is well-regarded by peers or experts.
Stage 3
(motivating action): use Consistency and Scarcity. Remind the individual what they said about a topic in the past and what they could los
Six concepts empower the major principles of human social influence.
- Reciprocation – People say yes to those they owe. We have a strong tendency to feel that those who have given benefits to us are entitled to benefits from us in return. If you want to pre-suade with this message, take a chance and give first.
- Liking – People trust those who like them. If you want to pre-suade with a message, mention similarities and give compliments.
- Social Proof – People think that it’s appropriate for them to believe, feel, or do something if others believe, feel, or do the same thing.
- Authority – People will listen to those that are authoritative. Show your audience that you are trustworthy and knowledgeable on the topic and it will be well received.
- Scarcity – People want more of something unavailable. The scarcity of an item raises the perceived value. In the consumer’s mind, any constraint on access increases the worth of what is being offered.
- Consistency – If you can encourage somebody to take a small pre-suasive step, then you can increase their willingness to take larger and more consistent steps.
Using the Power of Relationships
Relationships are one of the most powerful tools for influencing people. Cialdini explains that relationships can intensify people’s willingness to help, but also cause it. The most influential relationships are those where individuals see another individual as one of their group, rather than being similar to their group. Hence, these relationships are about shared identities, e.g., gender, race, politics, religion, or birthplace.
However, by far, the most influential relationship to utilize is family. Cialdini describes bloodline as the ultimate relationship. However, Cialdini does not only believe that genetic connectedness falls under the banner of bloodline. Instead, people who share a similar sub-language or imagery can count as part of the same bloodline. For example, brotherhood, sisterhood, and heritage. These individuals treat each other as if they are their family. Therefore, Cialdini includes them within the same category.
Many experiences will cause people to feel unity. This includes liking, support, continued reciprocal exchange, co-creation, and getting together. By installing one of these unitizing experiences in people pre-persuasively, you can start influencing people in a way that will bring you success.
Reason Why
Attaching a reason to a request increases the success rate: “I have 5 pages, can I use the Xerox machine before you because I’m in a rush” had a success rate of 94% vs.60% success rate when no ‘reason why’ was given.
Showing potential customers the most expensive item first then working downwards in price leads to an increase in the amount spent (as the next products seem cheaper in comparison).
Social obligations
Humans inherently dislike being indebted to someone, so much so that often a small gift or favour will lead to a larger reciprocal response. This fact is exploited worldwide, e.g. Hare Krishna’s who offer a ‘gift’ of a flower when soliciting for donations (which they refuse to take back). As the receiver cannot unburden themselves from the subconscious debt, the social pressure to donate leads to a higher donation rate than merely soliciting alone. An Indian supermarket sold £1000 of cheese in a few hours by inviting customers to slice their own free samples.
Reject & Retreat
This technique consists of first demanding a high price (or a large favour), then waiting for it to be rejected, only to follow this demand up with a smaller one, (that you really wanted all along). Quote from a child: ‘If you want a kitten, first ask for a pony’ (Ed).
Commitment and Consistency
We tend to remain consistent to our commitments, once we have made them (consistency is a socially attractive trait). Studies found that when people are asked if they would vote led to an increased likelihood to follow-through. This is why it is recommended to write down/verbally state our goals, as we then stand a much greater chance of sticking to them (cfhttp://www.stickk.com– Ed)
Households were called and asked to predict what they would do if they were asked to volunteer for three hours to collect for charity. Three days later, they were recalled and asked to collect for charity. This led to an increase in the numbers of volunteers by 700%. Its use in business was put succinctly by an article in American Salesman. “When a person has signed an order for your merchandise, even though the profit is small, he is no longer a prospect – he is a customer”
Living up to our identity–
“We are what we repeatedly do”- Aristotle. We will act in ways that are consistent with our identity, beliefs and values. American
POW’s in Korea who were made into collaborators, started co-operating when they were labelled and classed themselves as a collaborator.
Social Proof
People are influenced by what others do. At an unfamiliar event or situation, we look to others on the correct etiquette. This is exploited for example, in bars or at church collections. The tips/donations are sometimes ‘salted’ by having money already placed there or having a stooge give money to stimulate others to tip. This effect is amplified by how similar the person whose actions we are watching are to ourselves.
Liking
As a rule, we prefer to say yes to the request of those we like over those we don’t. There are several key properties that determine our view of people: Attractiveness, similarity, compliments, contact & co-operation, conditioning and association. Studies found we automatically attribute traits such as talent, kindness, honesty and intelligence to attractive people. It is no co-incidence that ‘attractive’ political candidates received two and a half times the votes of unattractive rivals.
We like people who are similar to us, with the same views, interests, beliefs and values. We therefore need to find areas of shared interest to increase rapport and connection.
Joe Girard won for twelve years straight the title of ‘Number one salesman’, selling on average five cars or trucks a day. His formula behind his success was simple; he provided a fair price, and someone they like to buy from. One of his key tactics however was to employ the use of compliments. Every month he sent every one of his 13,000 former customers a holiday greeting card containing a personal message. The holiday greeting changed from month to month (Happy New Year, Happy Easter etc.), but the message printed on the face of the card never varied. It only read ‘I like you’.
Endless chain
When a salesman approaches the person recommended, saying “your friend recommended this for you” it increases the chance they will make a purchase. Turning the salesman away is difficult as it’s like rejecting one’s friend.
Authority
The greater the perceived authority of a person, the more likely people are to comply (cf the Stanley Milgram experiments).
Hospitals have a 12% daily error rate. This is because, nurses and junior doctors will very rarely challenge the decision made by an authoritative figure, despite receiving potentially lethal, or bizarre requests.
We often perceive and interact with people with authority differently. The more power a person is deemed to have, the more generous people are when estimating their height, and the more cautious we are with our conversations.
Scarcity
We are more motivated to act if we think we are going to lose something, than if we are to gain something. ‘Save£50 a month on…’ would not be as effective as ‘You arelosing£50 a month on…’. An item that is scarce is more desirable than one that is freely available.
The high pressure environment, like an auction can lead an item being sold for an elevated price as the buyers fear losing out to another person.
You are not so Smart: The Five Big Ideas
We think we know how the world works, but we really don’t.
We narratives to explain why we do what we do.
Cognitive biases are predictable patterns of thought and behavior that lead us to draw incorrect conclusions.
Heuristics are mental shortcuts we use to solve common problems.
Logical fallacies are like maths problems involving language, in which you skip a step or get turned around without realizing it.
You Are Not So Smart Summary
“There is a growing body of work coming out of psychology and cognitive science that says you have no clue why you act the way you do, choose the things you choose or think the thoughts you think.”
“From the greatest scientist to the most humble artisan, every brain within every body is infested with preconceived notions and patterns of thought that lead it astray without the brain knowing it.”
“You are naturally hindered into thinking in certain ways and not others, and the world around you is the product of dealing with these biases, not overcoming them.”
“Cognitive biases are predictable patterns of thought and behavior that lead you to draw incorrect conclusions.”
“Heuristics are mental shortcuts you use to solve common problems. They speed up processing in the brain, but sometimes make you think so fast you miss what is important.”
“Logical fallacies are like maths problems involving language, in which you skip a step or get turned around without realizing it … They are arguments in your mind where you reach a conclusion without all the facts because you don’t care to hear them or have no idea how limited your information is.”
“Logical fallacies can also be the result of wishful thinking.”
Priming
Priming is when a stimulus in the past affects the way you behave and think or the way you perceive another stimulus later on. (Sam: Dan Ariely discusses priming at length in his book, Predictably Irrational.)
“Priming works best when you are on autopilot when you aren’t trying to consciously introspect before choosing how to behave.”
“You can’t self-prime, not directly. Priming has to be unconscious; more specifically, it has to happen within what psychologists refer to as the adaptive unconscious—a place largely inaccessible.”
Often, we are unaware of how unaware we are.
“Priming works only if you aren’t aware of it, and those who depend on priming to put food on the table work very hard to keep their influence hidden.”
“You are most open to suggestion when your mental cruise control is on or when you find yourself in unfamiliar circumstances.”
Confabulation
Confabulation describes our tendency to ignore our motivations and create fictional narratives to explain our decisions, emotions, and history without realizing it.
Confirmation Bias
“When the frequency illusion goes from a passive phenomenon to an active pursuit, that’s when you start to experience confirmation bias.”
Confirmation bias occurs when you perceive the world through a filter, thinking selectively.
Put simply, you want to be right about how you see the world, so you seek out information that confirms your beliefs and avoid contradictory evidence and opinions.
“People like to be told what they already know.”
Hindsight Bias
We often look back on the things we’ve just learned and assume we knew them or believed them all along. This is known as hindsight bias.
“You are always looking back at the person you used to be, always reconstructing the story of your life to better match the person you are today.”
“Hindsight bias is a close relative of the availability heuristic.”
“The availability heuristic shows you make decisions and think thoughts based on the information you have at hand while ignoring all the other information that might be out there.”
“You do the same thing with Hindsight Bias, by thinking thoughts and making decisions based on what you know now, not what you used to know.”
The Texas Sharpshooter Fallacy
“Picking out clusters of coincidence is a predictable malfunction of normal human logic.”
“If hindsight bias and confirmation bias had a baby, it would be the Texas sharpshooter fallacy.”
“Anywhere people are searching for meaning, you will see the Texas sharpshooter fallacy.”
“You commit the Texas sharpshooter fallacy when you need a pattern to provide meaning, to console you, to lay blame.”
Procrastination
“Procrastination is all about choosing want over should because you don’t have a plan for those times when you can expect to be tempted.”
“Faced with two possible rewards, you are more likely to take the one that you can enjoy now over one you will enjoy later—even if the later reward is far greater.”
“One of the best ways to see how bad you are at coping with procrastination is to notice how you deal with deadlines.”
“If you fail to believe you will procrastinate or become idealistic about how awesome you are at working hard and managing your time, you never develop a strategy for outmaneuvering your own weakness.”
“You must be adept at thinking about thinking to defeat yourself at procrastination.”
The trick to overcoming procrastination is to accept that the now-you will not be the person facing those choices, it will be the future-you—a person who can’t be trusted. Future-you will give in, and then you’ll go back to being now-you and feel weak and ashamed. Now-you must trick future-you into doing what is right for both parties.
Procrastination
“Procrastination is all about choosing want over should because you don’t have a plan for those times when you can expect to be tempted.”
“Faced with two possible rewards, you are more likely to take the one that you can enjoy now over one you will enjoy later—even if the later reward is far greater.”
“One of the best ways to see how bad you are at coping with procrastination is to notice how you deal with deadlines.”
“If you fail to believe you will procrastinate or become idealistic about how awesome you are at working hard and managing your time, you never develop a strategy for outmaneuvering your own weakness.”
“You must be adept at thinking about thinking to defeat yourself at procrastination.”
The trick to overcoming procrastination is to accept that the now-you will not be the person facing those choices, it will be the future-you—a person who can’t be trusted. Future-you will give in, and then you’ll go back to being now-you and feel weak and ashamed. Now-you must trick future-you into doing what is right for both parties.
Normalcy Bias
“No matter what you encounter in life, your first analysis of any situation is to see it in the context of what is normal for you and then compare and contrast the new information against what you know usually happens … Because of this, you have a tendency to interpret strange and alarming situations as if they were just part of business as usual.”
“In any perilous event, like a sinking ship or a towering inferno, a shooting rampage or a tornado, there is a chance you will become so overwhelmed by the perilous overflow of ambiguous information that you will do nothing at all.”
“Normalcy bias is stalling during a crisis and pretending everything will continue to be as fine and predictable as it was before.”
Introspection
The origin of certain emotional states is unavailable to you, and when pressed to explain them, you will just make something up. This is called the introspection illusion.
The Availability Heuristic
The availability heuristic describes our tendency to react more rapidly and to a greater degree when considering information you are familiar with.
“The old adage ‘I’ll believe it when I see it’ is the availability heuristic at work.”’
“It’s simply easier to believe something if you are presented with examples than it is to accept something presented in numbers or abstract facts.”
The Bystander Effect
The more people who witness a person in distress, the less likely it is that any one person will help. This is known as the bystander effect.
The Dunning-Kruger Effect
Here’s how McRaney describes the Dunning-Kruger Effect
The more skilled you are, the more practice you’ve put in, the more experience you have, the better you can compare yourself to others. As you strive to improve, you begin to better understand where you need work. You start to see the complexity and nuance; you discover masters of your craft and compare yourself to them and see where you are lacking. On the other hand, the less skilled you are, the less practice you’ve put in, and the fewer experiences you have, the worse you are at comparing yourself to others on certain tasks. Your peers don’t call you out because they know as little as you do, or they don’t want to hurt your feelings.
Apophenia
“Coincidences are a routine part of life, even the seemingly miraculous ones. Any meaning applied to them comes from your mind. This is known a apophenia.”
Brand Loyalty
“You prefer the things you own because you rationalize your past choices to protect your sense of self. This is called brand loyalty.”
The Argument from Authority
“When you see the opinions of some people as better than others on the merit of their status or training alone, you are arguing from authority.”
The Argument from Ignorance
The argument from ignorance is when you decide something is true or false because you can’t find evidence to the contrary.
“You don’t know what the truth is, so you assume any explanation is as good as another.”
The Straw Man Fallacy
“When you get into an argument about either something personal or something more public and abstract, you sometimes resort to constructing a character who you find easier to refute, argue, and disagree with, or you create a position the other person isn’t even suggesting or defending.”
“Any time someone begins an attack with ‘So you’re saying we should all just . . .’ or ‘Everyone knows . . . ,’ you can bet a straw man is coming.”
Ad Hominem Fallacy
“When you assume someone is incorrect based on who that person is or what group he or she belongs to, you have committed the ad hominem fallacy.”
The Just-World Fallacy
“When you hear about a situation you hope never happens to you, you tend to blame the victim, not because you are a terrible person but because you want to believe you are smart enough to avoid the same fate.”
“It is common in fiction for the bad guys to lose and the good guys to win. This is how you would like to see the world—just and fair. In psychology, the tendency to believe that this is how the real world works is called the just-world fallacy.”
“You want the world to be fair, so you pretend it is.”
The Public Goods Game
“The public goods game suggests regulation through punishment discourages slackers.”
The Ultimatum Game
“When it comes to making a deal, you base your decision on your status.”
Subjective Validation
“You are prone to believing vague statements and predications are true, especially if they are positive and address you personally.”
“The tendency to believe vague statements designed to appeal to just about anyone is called the Forer effect, and psychologists point to this phenomenon to explain why people fall for pseudoscience like biorhythms, iridology, and phrenology, or mysticism like astrology, numerology, and tarot cards.”
The Forer effect is part of a larger phenomenon psychologists refer to as subjective validation, which is a fancy way of saying you are far more vulnerable to suggestion when the subject of the conversation is you.
Groupthink
“The desire to reach consensus and avoid confrontation hinders progress.”
“For a group to make good decisions, they must allow dissent and convince everyone they are free to speak their mind without risk of punishment.”
“True groupthink depends on three conditions—a group of people who like one another, isolation, and a deadline for a crucial decision.”
“When groups get together to make a decision, an illusion of invulnerability can emerge in which everyone feels secure in the cohesion. You begin to rationalize other people’s ideas and don’t reconsider your own. You want to defend the group’s cohesion from all harm, so you suppress doubts, you don’t argue, you don’t offer alternatives—and since everyone is doing this, the leader of the group falsely assumes everyone is in agreement.”
Supernormal Releasers
A supernormal releaser is an exaggerated version of a stimulus to which there is an existing response tendency, or any stimulus that elicits a response more strongly than the stimulus for which it evolved.
The Affect Heuristic
“The tendency to make poor decisions and ignore odds in favor of your gut feelings is called the affect heuristic.”
“The affect heuristic is one way you rapidly come to a conclusion about new information.”
“When first impressions linger and influence how you feel about second, third, and fourth impressions, you are being befuddled by the affect heuristic.”
Dunbar’s Number
“You can maintain relationships and keep up with only around 150 people at once.”
Selling Out
“Poor people compete with resources. The middle class competes with selection. The wealthy compete with possessions.”
Self-Serving Bias
“You excuse your failures and see yourself as more successful, more intelligent and more skilled than you are.”
“When things are going your way, you attribute everything to your amazing skills, but once the tide turns, you look for external factors that prevented your genius from shining through.”
“You don’t believe you are an average person, but you do believe everyone else is. This tendency, which springs from self-serving bias, is called the illusory superiority effect.”
