Chapter 15 Flashcards
Closeness involves 6 components
knowledge, caring, interdependence, mutuality, trust, commutment
People in close relationships ___ a lot about each other, ___ about each other, ___ each other. They are ___________ sharing intimate, often confidential information….
know, care, trust
comfortable
Interdependence
Closer people are the more they experience this
What each person does significantly influences what the partner does over long periods of time
Mutuality
Partners’ acknowledgement that their lives are intertwined and that they think of themselves as a couple (“us”) instead of as two separate individuals (“me” and “you”)
Commitment
Partners’ investment of time, effort, and resources in their relationship with the expectation that it will continue indefinitely.
Parasocial relationships
Individuals’ relationship with people in the media
What doe parasocial relationships lack and what do they include
Lack: interdependency
Include: Know media personalities, care about them committed to follow them
Importance of close relationships
Practical benefits: facilitate our day-to-day meeting
People want and need love
When asked the name of the person people felt closest to, the most popular choice was _____
one’s romantic partner
Culture and Love
Culture tells us everything about our idea of love.
Such as arranged marriages or marriages because of love
The basics of attachment: Infancy and child hood
-What are the three forms of attachment
Secure attachment: 60% display this
Anxious-ambivalent: 20% display this
Avoidant attachment: 20% display this
Secure attachment
Mother and child in unfamiliar room. Stranger enters which brings distress the child. Child returns to play mother leaves. Child distressed and doesn’t calm down till mother returns
Anxious-ambivalent
Clingy. When mother leaves room there is distress. When mother returns child is angry and resistant.
Parents tend to be inconsistent.
Working models of relationships
Global feelings about the nature and worth of close relationships and other people’s trustworthiness.
Two dimensions of attachment
anxiety and avoidance
Two dimensions of attachment Figure 15.3: What are the four subparts
Secure: Low/ Low
Preoccupied: Low avoidance/ High anxiety
Dismissive: Low anxiety/ High avoidance
Fearful: High/High
Securely attached
An attachment style characterized by a positive view of the self and others, low anxiety and avoidance, and satisfying, stable relationship.
Like having sex but usually within a committed relationship.
Anxious-ambivalent
An attachment style characterized by a negative view of the self but a positive vie of others, high anxiety, low avoidance, and intense but unstable relationships.
Men have intercourse less and fewer partners. Women more likely to have intercourse and less exclusivity in partners.
Avoidantly Attached
Shorter relationships, fear closeness. Have sex more casual as well as solitary sex. There is fearfully avoidant and dismissive avoidant people.
Fearfully Avoidant
An avoidant attachment style characterized by a negative view of both self and others, high anxiety and avoidance, and distant relationships, in which the person doesn’t feel worthy, doesn’t trust others, and fears rejection.
Dismissive avoidant
An avoidant attachment style characterized by a negative view of others but a positive view of the self, high anxiety and avoidance, and distant relationships.
Combinations of Attachment Styles and Long-Term Relationships
Best attachments for relationships are both having secure attachment style. Has been evidence to support anxious women and avoidant men.
Attachment Style, Genes, and Parental Caregiving
Child temperament and genetics influence on attachment research is mixed.
The main factor in attachment style is interaction with children.
Stability of attachment style
Attachment stays pretty consistent over time. But not completely set in stone.
Love and Death
Romantic partners help with Terror management theory
Self- expansion model of relationships
Romantic relationships serve the desire to expand the self and grow.
Self concept becomes more complicated when they fall in love.
Schachter’s Two Factor Theory: Love as an Emotion
Label arousal as love:
Culture tells us when and with whom we label love to arousal.
Source of arousal doesn’t matter as long as it is labeled as attraction or love.
Initial attraction to someone could be affected by extrapersonal sources of arousal.
Self Disclosure
The sharing of information about oneself. This happens during the initial stages of a relationship.
Describe the stimulus-value-role theory
Stimulus is our initial attraction to someone based on their looks and age.
The value stage is when you share attitudes and beliefs with someone.
The role stage is when you share attitudes and plans when it comes to major life tasks such as parenting or career.
Positive Illusions
Idealized perceptions of romantic partners that highlight their positive qualities and downplay their faults.
This tends to happen after the “honeymoon” phase when we really see the person for who they are.
The more participants __________ their romantic partner, the more ________ they are in their relationship.
idealize, satisfied.
Model of relational turbulence
The idea that as partners make the transition from casual dating to more serious involvement in the relationship, they go through a turbulent period of adjustment.
What are the two points in a marriage where marriage satisfaction goes down?
The first year and the eighth year of marriage.
What are the 6 factors that lead to marriage dissatisfaction?
Slacking off (not being as polite or thoughtful) Small issues get magnified Sore spots are revealed Unwelcome surprises appear Unrealistic expectations Passionate love loses steam
Fatal Attractions
Qualities that we initially found attractive in the other person gradually become irritating or disappointing.
There seems to be a pattern of reactions that take place during marital conflict. What is it?
Criticism - contempt - defensiveness - stonewalling.
Interdependence theory
The idea that satisfaction, investments, and perceived alternative are critical in determining commitment to a particular relationship.
Comparison Level for Alternatives
The perceived alternatives to the current relationship. If the alternatives are better, then staying in the relationship might not be worth it. If they alternatives are worst (like being alone), then the relationship will continue.
When your comparison level for alternatives is ________, your commitment remains__________.
Low, high.
Those who are high in attachment anxiety are more likely to stick it out in a relationship. True or false?
True.
Review what’s on page 285 (the chart at the bottom)
Yeah… do it already.
Integrative Strategy for solving conflict
Present the problem as a challenge to shared relational goals, as “our” problem, something that needs to be solved together.
Distributive strategy
This is competitive and emphasizes individual goals, assigns blame, and often involves insults. “You need to change in order to satisfy my needs.”
Avoidance strategy
Avoiding the conflict altogether. This may entail talking to others about your problem and confirming your negative view about your partner.
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