Bringing Up Bebe

Question 1

When should a baby be sleeping through the night?

Answer 1

2 months

Question 2

Steps to get a baby to sleep through the night

Answer 2

Do not hold, walk or nurse in evenings to learn the difference between night and day.
At a week old, between midnight and 5 AM swaddle or change diaper but do not nurse. If baby continues crying after diaper change or swaddle then nurse.
Distinguish between crying and sleep wimpering.

Question 3

What is the key to comforting a baby?

Answer 3

A baby needs to learn to self-soothe as early as possible.
Pause and observe always. If the baby is hungry or needs a diaper change, then make the adjustment. If it’s just crying, then allow it to self sooth.

Question 4

When should a baby start to eat the same things and on the same schedule as adults?
Why will they do this?

Answer 4

At 4 months
Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and afternoon snack.

They will do this because if they wait to eat when adults are eating (and food is available), they will be hungry and eat.

Question 5

How do you teach patience?

Answer 5

Have them wait.
Don’t distract or teach distraction techniques, they must learn an ability to self regulate during frustration on their own.

Question 6

How should you approach interacting with the child when they are playing?

Answer 6

Observe. Alone play is important. Do not interrupt the child when it is playing on it’s own.

Question 7

How should you generally set boundaries with children?

Answer 7

Set firm limits, but within limits allow for a large degree of freedom.

Question 8

How should you think about your childs ability to learn?

Answer 8

They are like a learning machine at all times. It will react to incentives. They are smarter and more adaptable than we know.

Question 9

How should you expose your children to education?

Answer 9

Children reach milestones at their own speed. Expose them, but don’t push into anything pre-emptively.
Exposure to things is for fun, not to stimulate.
Let kids discover on their own in pleasure.

Question 10

What are the few things you need to set limits on and be strict about?

Answer 10

Eating, sleeping, watching TV.

Question 11

What is the downside of sparing your kids discomfort?

Answer 11

You are preparing greater miseries in the future. Discomfort now develops coping mechanisms for future trials.

Question 12

How should you manage family interactions?

Answer 12

Speak to the child like it is an adult.

Have a family meeting where the child is addressed like an adult.

Question 13

What should you do when observing a childs reactions, especially negative?

Answer 13

Reactions have a reason. Observe and work to fully understand the reason behind the reactions, but never make a big deal out of any reaction.

Question 14

What are important factors when researching a daycare?

Answer 14

Background of teachers
Security - Cameras and policies?
Food quality, time
Philosophy as it applies to the kids
Demographics of other kids

Question 15

What is important in a caregiver to develop empathy and social skills for the child?

Answer 15

A mother or caregivers sensitivity and understanding of the child. Not necessarily to overreact to desires, but a general understanding.

Question 16

What should the breastfeeding target be in terms of months after birth?

Answer 16

4-6 months. Not a crisis if it ends earlier.

Question 17

What should not be done with “bad Mom” guilt?

Answer 17

Don’t valorize it. All Mom’s feel guilty, verbalizing and valorizing is intended to make you feel good as others show acceptance. Try to improve and move on.

Question 18

What should the education curriculum entail before kindergarden?

Answer 18

1) Social skills
2) Organizing thoughts
3) Speaking well

Observe, ask questions, and refine logical deduction process over time.

Question 19

What should children be required to do socially from a very young age?

Answer 19

Acknowledge others verbally;

• Say hello/goodbye
• Say please and thank you

Question 20

What are the differences between French Childrens books and American Childrens books?

Answer 20

American childrens books always fit to the formula of problem, solution, overcoming.

French childrens books represent real life, including ambiguity and complexity. Problems are not always resolved.

Question 21

What are the differences between French and American relationships as it relates to the family?

Answer 21

In France, the couples relationship is paramount including sex and satisfaction.
The women accept their role being biologically different, and the men acknowledge and commend them for this.
Women and men do not gain satisfaction from open complaints to friends about the other not doing enough.

Question 22

What are important characteristics of how the French feed their children?

Answer 22

1) Do not cater to picky children. Variety is important, taste, visual, and textual.
2) Maybe one afternoon snack per day. Otherwise eat what the parents are eating.
3) Do not start with poor nutrition starches as suggested by American parenting books. Start with nutrient rich vegetables and variety at 6 months.
4) If children keep trying things, they end up liking them. Introduce the same thing in different formats.
5) Involve kids in cooking
6) 30 minute max meals

Question 23

How do the French handle sweets?

Answer 23

No sweets at dinner, only earlier in the day
Allow on special occasions
Do not restrict or limit on special occasions
Do not focus on them one way or another

Question 24

How do the French say no and establish authority?

Answer 24

1) When stating boundaries, make them clear and precise. Kids are happier when they know someone competent is in charge.
2) Talk often about what is permissible and not permissible in unemotional language.
3) Listen, hear, and talk to kids. Use careful observation to understand motives and align correction accordingly.

Question 25

How should you think about raising your child?

Answer 25

Think in terms of “education” and not “policing”.

Find teachable moments, not corrective punishments.

Question 26

What are 3 categories of negative behavior and how should they be dealt with?

Answer 26

1) Major infraction
Respond strongly and confidently in no uncertain terms.
Should be infrequent.

2) Minor infraction
Use as teachable moment, discuss correct and incorrect behavior unemotionally

3) Everything else
Allow complete freedom!

Question 27

What is the right approach to TV?

Answer 27

Allow infrequently so the children have some shared culture with other kids.

Question 28

What should you never do after you’ve said “no” to something?

Answer 28

Give in later

Question 29

What are the 3 things kids need

Answer 29

Love
Freedom
Discipline

Question 30

How should you deliver praise to children?

Answer 30

Should give praise when something is truly interesting or extraordinary.
Do not give excessive praise, it becomes meaningless.