{31} Communication & Relationships

Question 1

Explain:

Emotional Bank Account?

How can one make deposits to their relationship account?

Answer 1

Emotional Bank Account: We need to make deposits or withdrawals from our relationship accounts with each person in our live
- For a positve relationship, there needs to be five positve interactions for every negative interaction
Positive deposits:
- Active-constructive responding
- Responding
- Gratitude
- Forgveness
- Time Spent together

Question 2

Explain:

4 ways to acheive potential relationship intimacy?

Answer 2

1. Capitalization and active-constructing responding:
2. Gratitude:
3. Forgiveness:
4. Spending time together in meaningful ways:

Question 3

Explain:

What are the 4 Types of responses?

Which one is good?

Answer 3

1. Active & Constructive: Authentic, Enthusiastic, Supportive
2. Passive & Constructive: Understated Support ( When someone shares good news)
3. Active & Destructive: Pointing out the Negative
4. Passive & Destructive: Ignoring the Event (*By hijacking the news with something else that might be important to you)

Active & Constructive

Question 4

Explain:

Gratitude & Positive Relationship Intimacy?

Answer 4

More gratitude = better way to strenghten and create positve relationship deposits

Question 5

Explain:

Forgiveness & Positive Relationship Intimacy?

Answer 5

Something else you can do to regularly aid in relationship satisfaction
- Bad forgiveness = tend to leave more unresolved conflict

Question 6

Explain:

Spending meaninful time together & Positive Relationship Intimacy?

Answer 6

Engaging in joint activites help extend relationships

Question 7

Explain:

4 Destructive communication tactics?

Answer 7

1. Criticism: An attack on your partner at the core of their character (Different from a complaint)
Criticism builds into defensiveness

2. Contempt: When you treat others with disrespect, mock them with sarcasm, ridicule, call then names, and mimic or use body language such as eye-rolling or scoffing. Assumes a position of moral superiority
SINGLE GREATEST PREDICTOR OF DIVORCE
Contempt builds to stonewalling

3. Defensiveness: A response to criticism, when one fishes for excuses and plays the innocent victim so their partner will back off

4. Stonewalling: Usually a response to contempt, when a listener withdraws from interaction, shuts down, and simply stops repsonding to their partner.
Usually occurs in response to physiological flooding

Question 8

Explain:

4 constructive communication tactics?

Answer 8

1. Gentle Start-Up: Complain without blaiming using a soft or gentle start-up. Avoid saying ‘you’ which can indicate blame and instead talk about your feelings using ‘I’
2. Build Culture of Appreciation:
- ‘Small Things Often’: If you regular express appreciation, gratitude, affection, and respect for your partner
- ‘Magic Ratio (5:1)’: Positive to negative interactions that a relationship must have to succeed
3. Take responsibility:Always take responsibility for a conflict so that you can work towards a compromise
4. Physiological Self-Soothing:Taking a break when you feel you are emotionally and physically overwhelmed