Schema Therapy Flashcards
Parental Attention
Types
Engagement
- Control: criticise & chastise
- Criticise: hijacks corrective learning
- Punish: hijacks threat system
- Validation & affection
Disengagement
- Ignore (withdraw validation & affection)
Early Childhood Needs
Safety
Connection
Autonomy
Self-appreciation
Self-expression
Status (Realistic Limits)
Safety - children need to be able to depend on a reliable adult
Connection to others - children need to be able to share their experiences, thoughts and feelings
Autonomy - children must have a safe, secure environment from where they can experience and learn about the world and eventually be able to stand on their own two feet
Self-appreciation - Children must be helped to appreciate themselves in order to develop good self esteem
Self-expression - children need to be able to express their opinions and feelings without being held back or restrained or punished
Realistic limits - children need to be helped to understand societal rules in order to be able to live in harmony with others; they also need to be helped to develop strategies for dealing with frustrations
Schema Modes
Fight
Flight
Freeze
Fight (my safety is here)
Overcompensation: Self-agrandiser - Perfectionistic
Flight (my safey is elsewhere)
Avoidance: introversion - escape
Freeze (overhwhelmed)
Compliance
Self-Expression
Assertive - Attatchment
Activation
I
Inhibition
Flight: Absorbed Self (lust) (drive)
Fight: Dominant Self (pride)
Follow: Submissive Self (guilt) (duty)
Freeze: Constrained Self (pain)
Centered: Healthy Self (joy)
Attachment Frustration
Schemas
Disconnection and rejection
Vulnerable or angry child
- *AB**andonment (instability)
- ‘all intimate relationships will eventually end.’**I have stable secure relationships
- *Mistrust-A**buse
- recurrent abuse is managed by mistrust.* I am safe and set protective boundaries.
- *E**motional Deprivation
- ‘my emotional needs will never be met’.* My emotions are genuine and are validated.
- *Defectiveness-S**hame
- shame resulting from feeling defective.* I am worthy and I accept myself.
- *S**ocial Isolation (alienation)
- ‘does not fit in anywhere’.* I feel I belong and know my tribe.
Assertiveness Frustration
Schemas
Impaired Autonomy
Vulnerable/Angry Child
- *Dependence-I**ncompetence
- lacks confidence / feels helpless.* I am capable and confident - I trust my judgement.
- *EnM**eshment (undeveloped self)
- fused relationship identity - caregiver (impotent).* I am an individual with my own choices, thoughts & values.
- *V**ulnerability to Harm or illness
- under threat with no protection.* The world is safe and I am healthy.
- *FA**ilure (to achieve)
- stuck due to an abiding conviction of failure.* I develop mastery and am OK with making mistakes.
Lack of self-control
Impaired limits & boundaries
Impulsive child
- *EnT**itlement-grandiosity
- exerts power and control over situations & others*
I respect and consider others in the actions I take.
- *I**nsufficient Self-control (or self-discipline)
- ‘snowflake’ - intolerant of frustration over goals*
I can tolerate distress and maintain my self-control
Assertiveness sacrificed for attachment
Submission (driven by inner critics)
Other directedness
- *SU**bjugation
- gives up will to avoid negative consequences.*
I express my truth inspite of the consequences.
- *Self-S**acrifice
- sacrifices for others needs, self comes last (guilt)*
My own needs are important and I set realistic boundaries.
- *A**pproval Seeking (recognition seeking)
- excessive desire for status and social approval.*
I am worthy of praise and acknowledgement of my efforts.
Sacrificing attachment & joy
Sacrificing spontaneity and play
Overvigilance & inhibition
Overcompensation or detachment
(driven by inner critics)
Avoids appearing incompetent or flawed
- *Negativity-P**essimism
- everything will go wrong eventually*. I am positive about my future and follow my dreams
- *E**motional Inhibition
- expressing emotions will hurt others.* I express my feelings and seek intimacy
- *UnR**elenting standards (hypercriticalness)
- I must try harder to avoid criticism.* I take care of my body, rest and manage my vitality.
- *PU**nitiveness
- mistakes should be punished without forgiveness.* I forgive myself and others and offer encouragement and support.
Compensation
Responses
Past Patterns (schemas)
Present reactions (modes)
Surrender
Avoidance
Compensation
Attunement
Resonance
Recount triggers
Attune to the triggers
Tune in to current feelings
Slow Down
Intensify attunement
Provide historical links to broaden the narrative
Use experiential techniques
Child Modes
Inner Critic Modes
Maladaptive Modes
Healthy Adult Modes
Global Workspace Theory
Frontstage: what is put out to the world
Backstage: hidden unconscious motivations
Healthy adult mode: backstage director
Child Modes
Inner Critic Modes
Maladaptive Modes
Healthy Adult Modes
Child: vulnerable, angry, enraged, impulsive, undisciplined, happy
Maladaptive: compliant surrender, detatched self-soother, detatched protector, self-agrandiser, bully&attack.
Inner Critic: demanding, punative
Healthy: integrative
Vulnerability -panic - Compliance
Impulsive - Impulsive - Detachment
Inner critic - Rumination - Detachment
Critic - paranoia - Overcompensation
Complaint Surrender: burnout, exhaustion, depression, somatization
Detached protector: passive, depressive, avoidant, dissociated, pain disorders
Detached self-soother: compulsive, addictive, self-harm, digital media dependence
Overcompensator: anti-social, manipulative, paranoid, compulsive over-controllers
Schema Categories
Disconnection and Rejection
Impaired Autonomy & Performance
Excessive Responsiblity & Standards
Impaired Limits
Trauma Grid
Terry Real
False Empowerment
Abandonment - Intrusion
Disempowerment
SCHEMA
- Abandonment/instability (AB)
CHILD NEED
For parent(s)/caregiver to provide stability and consistency in the home life and relationships
ADULT CHOICE
”| want to feel stable and secure in myself and my relationships”
- Mistrust/Abuse (MA)
For parent(s)/caregiver to protect the child from harm and honour the child’s boundaries and instil a sense oftrust and safety within close relationships
”| want to feel safe from harm and set boundaries to protect myself”
- Defectiveness/Shame (DS)
For parent(s)/caregiver to accept and love the child unconditionally and instil a sense of inherent worthiness
”| want to know my own worthiness and accept myself as | am”
I AM WORTHY
- Emotional Deprivation (ED)
For parent(s)/caregiver to care about the child’s emotions and validate their feelings as important
”| want to validate my own emotions and take them at face value”
I deserve ATTENTION
- Social lsolation/ Alienation (Sl)
For the peer group to provide a senseofinclusion and social connection for the child
”| want to feel like | belong and know who my tribe is”
I BELONG
- Dependence/incompetence (Dl)
For parent(s)/caregiver to encourage the child to take risks, problem solve, and develop competence and independent thinking through exposure to everyday situations
”| want to feel autonomous and capable of making decisions and trusting my own
judgment”
SCHEMA
- Vulnerability to harm or illness (VH)
CHILD NEED
For parent(s)/caregiver to contain their own fears and instill a sense of trust and safety within the world, in life and the future
ADULT CHOICE
”| want to trust that the world is a safe place and my body is capable of healing from illness”
I AM HEALTHY
- Enmeshment/Undeveloped self
(EM)
For parent(s)/caregiver to encourage individuality and celebrate the child’s unique personality, choices and preferences as separate to their own
”| want to experience my own unique individual self, including my preferences and choices as well as thoughts and values”
I HAVE AUTONOMY
- Failure (FA)
For parent(s)/caregiver to encourage having a go, trying new things, normalise mistakes and setbacks, and seeking out areas of competence that the child will be challenged by and develop mastery in
”| want to develop mastery and learn new skills and be OK with making mistakes along the way”
I AM COMPETENT
- Entitlement/Grandiosity (ET)
For parent(s)/caregiver to educate the child on the importance of empathy, considering others’ needs, interdependence and mutual respect within close relationships, friendships and the wider community
”| want to have respect and consideration for others in the actions |take and the way | go
about my life”
My AUTHORITY & STATUS IS RESPECTED
- Insufficient self-control/self-discipline
(IS)
For parent(s)/caregiver to set limits on inappropriate behaviour and enforce consequences to assist with frustration tolerance and delay of instant gratification
”| want to develop focus and self-control to keep my attention on the things that are important to me”
MY EFFORTS ARE REWARDED
- Subjugation (SB)
For parent(s)/caregiver to allow the child freedom to express important feelings, thoughts and preferences without fear (of punishment) or guilt (ie. responsiblefor parent’s feelings)
”| want to speak my truth, even though it may create some temporary discomfort or conflict”
IT IS SAFE TO SPEAK UP FOR MYSELF
- Self-sacrifice (SS)
For parent(s)/caregiver to allow the child to unburdened by the care of other family members and to feel entitled to their own needs for rest, play and self-care
“I want to develop a balance between giving and receiving, and allow myself to say no when I need to take care of myself over others”
My needs are IMPORTANT
- Approval-seeking/Recognitionseeking
(AS)
For parent(s)/caregiver to instil a sense of internal self-worth that is not dependent on external measures of success, such as looks, money or achievement
“I want to give myself the praise and acknowledgment for my efforts and good points, and not rely on this from other people”
I AM WORTHY
- Negativity/Pessimism (NP)
For parent(s)/caregiver to instil a sense of optimism and hope about life and the belief that problems can be overcome in life
“I want to look forward to my future and go after my dreams”
I HAVE BALANCE
- Emotional Inhibition (El)
For parent(s)/caregiver to model and encourage open and appropriate emotional expression as an important skill in self-awareness and intimate relationships
“I want to feel free to express how I feel so that others can get to know me at a deeper
level”
I CAN REGULATE MY EMOTIONS
- Unrelenting
Standards/Hypercriticalness (US)
For parent(s)/caregiver caregiver to have realistic standard in the area of achievement and encourage a balance of both work and play
“I want to take care of myself and honour my own body and energy levels and rest when
I need to”
I AM ENOUGH
- Punitiveness (PU)
For parent(s)/caregiver to show patience, tolerance and empathy when disciplining the child, and to refrain from harsh punishment such as physical abuse, verbal attacks, shaming and emotional coldness
“I want to forgive myself and reclaim my innocence and not focus on blame or punishment whenever a mistake has been made”
ITS OK TO FAIL
Child Modes
(underlying emotional vulnerability)
Vulnerable Child
Angry Child
Enraged Child
Impulsive Child
Undisciplined Child
Happy Child
Maladaptive Coping
Modes
Compliant Surrenderer ( Dependent)
Detached Protector (Borderline, Cluster B)
Detached Self- Soother (Cluster B)
Self aggrandiser (Narcissistic)
Perfectionistic Overcontroller ( Paranoid Overcontroller (Paranoid Bully and Attack (Antisocial PD)
Predator (Psychopaths)
Avoidant Protector (Avoidant PD)
Internalised Parent
Modes
Demanding Parent
Punitive Parent
Healthy Adult
Mode
Self -Content
I can do this and it is OK to give it a go
Self-Processing (Awareness and Mindfulness)
I am noticing that there is a part of me that knows it can do this…
Emotions are necessary to connect to my needs & values
Praise & Pride vs Blame & Shame
Cognitive Themes in
Sexual Trauma
- *Defectiveness/Shame** - “I’m bad”/ “I’m to blame”/ “It’s my fault”
- *Subjugation**/ power and control issues - “I’m powerless”, “I can’t protect myself”/ “I don’t want to displease”
- *Mistrust/ Abuse** - “I’m not safe”/ “others will let me down”/ unable to trust, care closeness.
- *Emotional Deprivation**/ intimacy/ neglect - “I don’t matter, I’m not important, no one is there for me”
Healthy Adult Themes
- Mistrust /Abuse
- Defectiveness /Shame
- Emotional Deprivation
- Social Isolation
- Emotional Inhibition
- Failure
- Vulnerability to Harm
- Dependence
- Enmeshment
- Abandonment
- Subjugation
- Negativity /Pessimism
- Grandiosity
- Low Self-Discipline
- Approval-Seeking
- Hypercriticalness
- Punitiveness
- Self-Sacrifice
Health Adult Themes
Others
Belonging
Realism
Empathy
Attachment
Safety
Trust
Health Adult Themes
SELF
Self- Compassion
Acceptance
Reliance
Expectations
Success
Health Adult Themes
Outlook
Control
Optimism
Realism
Expression
Directedness
