Psy 220 After Midterm content Flashcards
Interpersonal Relationships
Extended attachments between tow or more peoples due to bonds or friendship, family, love respect or hierarchy.
Why are interpersonal relationships difficult to study
Due to self selection, people choose their relationships and we can’t experimentally assign people to form extended lasting social bonds
Harold’s monkey experiments (what is it)
A baby was offered 2 fake mothers, one made of hard wire a with a bottle of formula attached, and one made of cloth and they hypothesized that the monkey would only want the wired mother as they only wanted a parent for food. However, the baby monkey stuck to the cloth mother for comfort.
Importance of relationship
Stress reduction: Stressful situations in particular motivate us to affiliate with others who face a similar through
Cognitive Clarity: Perhaps to receive information as other are a good source of what they’re about to face. It helps us clarify what we are thinking and feeling
So people need other people but
Need to belong: Our social belonging is similar to our biological hunger
What are the five criteria of need
Evolutionary basis: Social belonging is linked to survival and reproduction
Universal: All cultures have similar types of social relationships and dynamics
Guides social cognition: Social relationships guide how we see ourselves, others and our surroundings
Satiable: Relationships are something we want like hunger and they need to be satisfied by finding new relationships
Profound consequences without relationships: Being cut off from others is bad for mental and physical health
Costs of Social Rejections
- Feeling socially rejected causes feelings of shame and distress
- Social rejection may reduce ability to regulate behaviors like impulses, concentration and may be more aggressive towards others.
- People who feel more socially isolated report higher levels of chronic pain, aliments and pain during childbirth
Social exchange Theory
Comparison level: Comparing what we think we desire vs. what we have
Equity Theory
The difference between long term and short term relationships
Short term: Exchange relationship, where people are concerned about a fair distribution of rewards and costs
Long term: Communal relationship in which people are less concerned with accounting of who is contribution what and more about helping their partner when they need it
Attachment Theory
John Bowlby: Early attachment with parents/caregivers shape future relationships due to evolution so we develop strong parents-offspring bond
4 types of attachment styles
Secure: feel secure in relationships, Comfortable with intimacy, desire to be close to others during times of stress
Anxious-insecure: Feel insecure in
relationships, will compulsively seek
closeness but constantly
worry about the relationship, and during stress, excessively
try to get closer to
others
Avoidant-insecure: Feel insecure in relationships, feel the need to be completely self reliant and during stress they detached and dismissive others
Disorganized: Inconsistent, unpredictable behavior in relationships ( fearful and confused responses to closeness) , is often linked to early life trauma and they have difficult time trusting others.
What is the experiment that tests infant attachment?
The strange situation: An experimental procedure where an infant’s reaction is observed after the mother leaves the room and the child is left with a stranger and then the mother returns
Rules of Attraction
Both geographical nearness and functional distance predicts liking
Why does proximity effect attraction
Availability and proximity:
Anticipation of interaction:
Mere Exposure
Why mere exposure causes liking?
Classical conditioning: Repeated exposure to a stimulus without any negative consequences makes the stimulus more pleasant
Fluency: Easier to process information about familiar stimuli, pleasant feelings associated with more fluent processing
Similarity
Friends and romantic partners tend to be similar in beliefs and other characteristics
How similarity promotes attraction
Social Validation: We like being around people who agree with us
More fluent interaction: Interacting with people similar to ourselves is often easier leading to less conflict over activities and easier to understand peoples choices
How does dissimilarity effect relationships
Dissimilarity can increase disliking: due to
-false consensus bias: we believe that everyone views the world the same way we do)
-attitude alignment: Where we adjust out attitudes with others overtime to make our close contact relationships easier
Competence
Being to competent people is rewarding BUT if they are more competent than we are in areas that matter to us, we can feel inadequate and their attractiveness will dimmish
Reciprocal liking
The thing that we like those who like us back, when we sense someone likes us, we like them ore creating a positive feedback loop.
Pratfall effect
The idea that while competence, is more attractive, it’s more attractive where “perfect” people make mistakes as we then see them as more human.
What is the Pratfall experiment
Can opposites ever attract?
Yes, with complementarily relationships as they seek each other out to compliment their own charactisics. (Example Dom and Sub relationship.)
What are some of the benefits of being physically attractive?
More popular as friends, better liked as potential romantic partners
What are some of the physical traits that make women physically attractive?
Large eyes, small nose, small chin, full lips, narrow cheeks and prominent cheekbones
What are some of the physical traits that make men physically attractive?
For Masculine med: Strong jaw, Broad forehead, broad shoulders
For Feminine: Prominent cheek bones, Moderately broad features
Why does being attractiveness matter?
Immediacy: Physical appearances are the first thing we notice when meeting other people
Prestige: Physical attractiveness is socially valued and attractive people and people with attractive partners may be seen as higher in social status
Halo effect: people who are more physically attractive are more often assumed to have other positive traits
Matching phenonmenon
The tendency for men and women to choose partners who are a good match in attractiveness and other traits
Evolutionary functions of beauty
Faces that are MORE average and less abnormal are seen as more attractive
Paradox of Choice
An abundance of choice leads people to be less happy with the choice they do me
What makes the paradox of choice worse?
The human process of social comparison, seeing what others have and comparing what we have
The gain-loss theory of Attraction
Increases in positive behavior has more of an impact on us than constantly rewarding behavior from that person. AKA people start treating us better overtime when we feel like we URN that affection
Reward Theory of Attraction
The idea that we are attracted to others who reward us who we find reward
Misattribution of Arousal
The process whereby people mistaken inferences about what is causing them to feel the way they do
What is love?
A combo of emotion, cognitions and behaviors that often play a critical role in intimate relationships
What are the three types of love?
Companionate love: Friends/family/people who have similar interest as us`
Compassionate love: Parents/spouses that monitor and respond to one’s needs
Romantic love: Partners that we feel intense emotional and sexual desire towards
What is the difference for Liking vs Loving
Platonic friend feelings: Shared interest, Mutual respect and companionship
Romantic Partner feelings: Passion, attachment and physical attraction
The distinction changes as the relationship grows
What are Sternberg’s Three main components in his Triangular model of love
Intimacy: Emotional Component: liking and feelings of closeness
Passion: Motivational Component: Drives for attraction romance and sexual desire
Commitment: Cognitive component: Decisions to long term commitment and keeps us together long term
Name ALL of Sternberg’s types of love
Liking: Intimacy without passion or commitment
Infatuation: Passion as the only element
Empty Love: Commitment without intimacy or passion
Romantic Love: Intimacy and passion
Companionate Love: Intimacy and commitment
Fatuous Love: Passion and commitment without intimacy
Consummate Love: Intimacy, passion, and commitment
Theory of Social Penetraction
The idea there are 3 levels of relationships and that they happen in stages as we meet each other. The process is like an onion and we peel back the layer of the opinon.
The porcupine dilemma
The desire to achieve deep intimacy while remaining invulnerable to hurt
Authenticity
The freedom to share your true feelings and beliefs (even negative ones) with your partner. People who support each other in times of need and stress are morel likely to have a healthy relationship that people who don’t.
How do men and women love compare.
Men: Fall in love more quickly and more likely to endorse romantic beliefs
Do men and women share the same responsible in making and caring for the children.
Large asymmetry in the minimal parental investment of males and females
Investment in offspring, evolutionary preceptive
Female: The idea that females invest more into offspring and thus should be more selective than males, looking their partners ability to provide resources to protentional offspring
Male: Men should only focus on fertility
Issues with Investment in offspring, evolutionary preceptive
Evidence that men and women have different preferences for protentional mates may reflect human evolutionary history but may also be due to social factors
Why do we love, evolutionary explanation
Need to belong, passionate and romantic love increase reproductive fitness
Why do we love cultural explanation
First learn about love
Culturally appropriate love object is present
Misattribution of physiological arousal as love
Attachment Theory
Suggest that our behaviors in adult relationship is based on our experiences as infants with our parents.
How do we maintain relationships
Knowledge: Having extensive personal knowledge of each other by sharing info about desire, dreams and prefences
Caring: Caring about each other by sharing affecting and support (emotional social instrumental) with each other instrumental) with each other)
Mutuality: Think of themselves as “us” instead of me and you or mine and yours and recognize the overlap between their lives
Trust: Expect that their partner will treat them fairly and honorably and expect that their partner will be responsive to their needs and be concerned for their welfare
Interdependency: The extent to which intimate parameter need and influence each other
Commitment
Relationship Dissatisfaction
Partners in unsatifactory relationships are more likely to make attrubtions that cast partner in a negative light
What are the four horsemen of divorce couples
Criticism: Being overly critical
Defensiveness: Refusing to accept responsible for conflicts
Stonewalling: Withdrawal from partners refusals to emotionally interact
Contempt: Looking down on one’s partners; especially predictive of the relationship ending if the contempt from women directed at men
Top predictors for divorce
Partnering with a neurotic personality
Partnering with someone highly sensitive to rejection
w Marrying at a young age
Undergoing financial stress
Baxter idea on how relationships end (1982)
Four strategies for dissolution of a relationship:
Withdrawal/avoidance
Positive tone
Manipulative strategies
Open confrontation
Rusbult idea on how relationships end (1986)
Four ways of COPING:
Loyalty: Pro-relationship responses such as passively waiting and hoping for improvement, forgiving and forgetting partner offences, and supporting and maintaining faith in the partner in the face of hurtful actions
Neglect: Passive destructive responses such as allowing the relationship to deteriorate by ignoring or spending less time with the partner, avoiding discussing any problems, and criticizing the partner regarding unrelated issues
Voice: Constructive and active responses such as attempting to improve conditions, discussing problems and suggesting solutions, and engaging in efforts to change problematic self or partner behavior
Exit: Active responses that are destructive for the relationship, such as ending or threatening to terminate the relationship, and abusing, criticizing or derogating the partnert
Adaptive Communication that enhance relationships
Straight talk: A persons clear statement of his or her feelings and concern without accusing blaming, judging or ridiculing the other person
Immediate Feedback: For communication to be effective, we need to give feedback on how our words and behaviors are seen
Feelings vs Judgements: The key to effective communication rests on
our willingness to express feelings rather than judgments.