Personality and relationships

Question 1

Attraction simililarity theory

Answer 1

-assortitive mating
-we are atracted to people that are similar to us
week evidence for this theory

Question 2

complementery needs theory

Answer 2

-we are attracted to people whose personality complements ours
-opposites attracts

no support for this theory

Question 3

what usually do people want?

Answer 3

pretty high correletion to their personality and prefer partner personality

Question 4

what people get

Answer 4

women and men have relationships with people with the same intelligence

Question 5

is similarity releted to relationship satisfaction?

Answer 5

-couple with similar personality traits are not necessarily more satisfied in their relationship

Question 6

so what makes a relationship satisfying ?

Answer 6

when the paterner is similar to you ideal personality

for example:I’m very satisfied with enrike because he is extraverted and I like being extraverted

Question 7

what do people want in partners ?

Answer 7

male and female
-mutual attraction
-dependable
-emotional stability
-pleasing disposition
-good health
-education/inteligence
-sociability

the difference is that women think that intelligence and sociability are higher then good health9good health being the least one)

Question 8

what are the less important traits

Answer 8

for man
-chasity
-similar religioun
-similar political view

for women
-religion
-political
-chasity/virgin

Question 9

what traits predict partner’s satisfaction?

Answer 9

overall:
husband- Agreebleness, Extraverted,Opness (in wife)
for women - Agreebleness ,Concietious
,Extraverted,Opness(in husband)
———————————————————–
confide:
Husband- agreebleness
women: agrebleness,extraversion,openness
——————————————————————
sexual:
hasband- Agreeble , Concietious,Extraversion
women-Agrebleness
——————————————————————
Enjoyment:(same)
husband- agrebleness,extraversion
wife- agreebleness,extraversion

Question 10

do studies show personality similarity between partners

Answer 10

yes,but very little (below.10)

but that can be due to reference group effect since this study was a self-reported one

Question 11

what is reference group effect?

Answer 11

when judging our own personality,we compare ourselves to people we spend time with

these people tend to be like us

as a result,our self-rated personality may seem more different from our partners than is accurate

ex: I’m extraverted and my partner is also extraverted but I think he is more then me or he goes out more which causes me to say that his way more extraverted then me/or that I’m an introvert compering to him (when that is not exactly true)

Question 12

what if we measure personality with behaviour instead of self-report

Answer 12

avoid reference group problem

Question 13

one study in which measures peoples personality through behaviour was:

Answer 13

one study that measured facebook likes and language in posts

likes and words(happy/amazing) in posts predict Big % between partners

Question 14

what was found in this study?

Answer 14

*likes(what was being liked) average similarity between partners was: .24

*language,avreage similarity between partners was:38

self report average similarity between partners: only .10

Question 15

is similarity related to relationship satisfaction ?

Answer 15

couples with similar personality traits are not necessarily more satisfied with their relationship

but, if partners is similar to your”ideal personality’’ then relationship satisfaction is higher

Question 16

which traits predict future relationship quality and conflict?

Answer 16

longitudinal study assessed 3 traits:

-Positive Emotionality(PEM): confidence,emthusiasm, social wormth,well-being, and zest

-Negative Emotionality(NEM):threshold for negative emotions such as anxiety,anger,fear

-Constraint(CON): self-control,harm avoidance, and endorsement of social norms

they took 18 years old measured these 3 traits and compared their relationship when they were 26

Question 17

what was the result?

Answer 17

Positive Emotionality:
- quality of relationship (14)
-conflict (00)

Negative Emotionality
-quality ( -21)
-comflict (22)

Constraint:
-quality (17)
-conflict(-11)

Question 18

how do emotions expressions relate to sexual attractiveness

Answer 18

what is the most attractive emotional expression?

Question 19

happiness

Answer 19

• in women more atrractive
• in man least atractive

Question 20

pride

Answer 20

-in men more attractive

-in women least attractive

Question 21

shame

Answer 21

is attractive when showed by both genders

ex:edward - crepusculo

Question 22

Expression of Emotions in
Relationships(Gottman & Levenson) - love lab

Answer 22

newlywed couples engaged in conflict discussion while videotaped - they were prompted to fight

• videotape coded for emotional responses,style of interaction(observational data)
  -physiological measure(test-data)
  -couple members rate partner’s raltioship satisfaction (informant data) and own satisfaction(self-data)

couple followed up to 5 years later

divorced were predicted from data, with 83% accuracy

Question 23

Four main factors/horsemen of the apocalypse that predict divorce

Answer 23

1. criticism vs complaint
   2.contempt
   3.defensiveness
   4.stonewalling

Question 24

1. criticism vs complaint

Answer 24

• criticism: global statment of anger,displasure,distress,or other negativity,tends to be blaming (ex:you never do anything I ask )

-complaint: specific statement of anger,displesure, distress,or other negativity (ex: when ask you to do lundry you never do it)

criticism predicts divorce (not complain)

escalation of negative effect is very bad - like blaming the other person but de-escalation is really good like humor or ask the person to take a break

Question 25

2.contempt

Answer 25

insults,mockery,sarcasm,or derision of the other person

-includes disapproval ,judgement,disdain,exasperation,put-downs or telling the other person is absurd or incompetent

Question 26

3.Defensiveness

Answer 26

attempt to protect one’s self from perceived attack

• may include denial of responsibility,counterblame,or whine
  -may be a response to ‘‘mindreading’’

Question 27

mindreading

Answer 27

attribution of motives,feelings,or behaviour made by one partner to the other

ex: ‘‘you always gets jealous’’

no. i don’t. you do !

Question 28

4.stonewalling

Answer 28

the listener presents a stone wall to his partner

-no small assessing vocalization like mmmm or yeah
-no head nods
-there is little gaze at the speaker
-little facial movement and when it has is negative
-85% of tonewallers are male

basically no physically or vocal interaction

Question 29

overall findings

Answer 29

What distinguishes satisfied and dissatisfied
couples is not how frequently they conflict, but
the way in which negative feelings are expressed
during conflicts.

Disagreements not more common among dissatisfied
couples, but dissatisfied couples more likely to express
disagreement with negative affect

Negative emotions are associated with high
levels of physiological arousal for men, but
not for women
– Men may avoid negative affect in relationships
because it is more physiologically punishing
– Emotionally, men experience lower levels of
negative affect than women