Personality and relationships Flashcards
Attraction simililarity theory
-assortitive mating
-we are atracted to people that are similar to us
week evidence for this theory
complementery needs theory
-we are attracted to people whose personality complements ours
-opposites attracts
no support for this theory
what usually do people want?
pretty high correletion to their personality and prefer partner personality
what people get
women and men have relationships with people with the same intelligence
is similarity releted to relationship satisfaction?
-couple with similar personality traits are not necessarily more satisfied in their relationship
so what makes a relationship satisfying ?
when the paterner is similar to you ideal personality
for example:I’m very satisfied with enrike because he is extraverted and I like being extraverted
what do people want in partners ?
male and female
-mutual attraction
-dependable
-emotional stability
-pleasing disposition
-good health
-education/inteligence
-sociability
the difference is that women think that intelligence and sociability are higher then good health9good health being the least one)
what are the less important traits
for man
-chasity
-similar religioun
-similar political view
for women
-religion
-political
-chasity/virgin
what traits predict partner’s satisfaction?
overall:
husband- Agreebleness, Extraverted,Opness (in wife)
for women - Agreebleness ,Concietious
,Extraverted,Opness(in husband)
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confide:
Husband- agreebleness
women: agrebleness,extraversion,openness
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sexual:
hasband- Agreeble , Concietious,Extraversion
women-Agrebleness
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Enjoyment:(same)
husband- agrebleness,extraversion
wife- agreebleness,extraversion
do studies show personality similarity between partners
yes,but very little (below.10)
but that can be due to reference group effect since this study was a self-reported one
what is reference group effect?
when judging our own personality,we compare ourselves to people we spend time with
these people tend to be like us
as a result,our self-rated personality may seem more different from our partners than is accurate
ex: I’m extraverted and my partner is also extraverted but I think he is more then me or he goes out more which causes me to say that his way more extraverted then me/or that I’m an introvert compering to him (when that is not exactly true)
what if we measure personality with behaviour instead of self-report
avoid reference group problem
one study in which measures peoples personality through behaviour was:
one study that measured facebook likes and language in posts
likes and words(happy/amazing) in posts predict Big % between partners
what was found in this study?
*likes(what was being liked) average similarity between partners was: .24
*language,avreage similarity between partners was:38
self report average similarity between partners: only .10
is similarity related to relationship satisfaction ?
couples with similar personality traits are not necessarily more satisfied with their relationship
but, if partners is similar to your”ideal personality’’ then relationship satisfaction is higher
which traits predict future relationship quality and conflict?
longitudinal study assessed 3 traits:
-Positive Emotionality(PEM): confidence,emthusiasm, social wormth,well-being, and zest
-Negative Emotionality(NEM):threshold for negative emotions such as anxiety,anger,fear
-Constraint(CON): self-control,harm avoidance, and endorsement of social norms
they took 18 years old measured these 3 traits and compared their relationship when they were 26
what was the result?
Positive Emotionality:
- quality of relationship (14)
-conflict (00)
Negative Emotionality
-quality ( -21)
-comflict (22)
Constraint:
-quality (17)
-conflict(-11)
how do emotions expressions relate to sexual attractiveness
what is the most attractive emotional expression?
happiness
- in women more atrractive
- in man least atractive
pride
-in men more attractive
-in women least attractive
shame
is attractive when showed by both genders
ex:edward - crepusculo
Expression of Emotions in
Relationships(Gottman & Levenson) - love lab
newlywed couples engaged in conflict discussion while videotaped - they were prompted to fight
- videotape coded for emotional responses,style of interaction(observational data)
-physiological measure(test-data)
-couple members rate partner’s raltioship satisfaction (informant data) and own satisfaction(self-data)
couple followed up to 5 years later
divorced were predicted from data, with 83% accuracy
Four main factors/horsemen of the apocalypse that predict divorce
- criticism vs complaint
2.contempt
3.defensiveness
4.stonewalling
- criticism vs complaint
- criticism: global statment of anger,displasure,distress,or other negativity,tends to be blaming (ex:you never do anything I ask )
-complaint: specific statement of anger,displesure, distress,or other negativity (ex: when ask you to do lundry you never do it)
criticism predicts divorce (not complain)
escalation of negative effect is very bad - like blaming the other person but de-escalation is really good like humor or ask the person to take a break
2.contempt
insults,mockery,sarcasm,or derision of the other person
-includes disapproval ,judgement,disdain,exasperation,put-downs or telling the other person is absurd or incompetent
3.Defensiveness
attempt to protect one’s self from perceived attack
- may include denial of responsibility,counterblame,or whine
-may be a response to ‘‘mindreading’’
mindreading
attribution of motives,feelings,or behaviour made by one partner to the other
ex: ‘‘you always gets jealous’’
no. i don’t. you do !
4.stonewalling
the listener presents a stone wall to his partner
-no small assessing vocalization like mmmm or yeah
-no head nods
-there is little gaze at the speaker
-little facial movement and when it has is negative
-85% of tonewallers are male
basically no physically or vocal interaction
overall findings
What distinguishes satisfied and dissatisfied
couples is not how frequently they conflict, but
the way in which negative feelings are expressed
during conflicts.
Disagreements not more common among dissatisfied
couples, but dissatisfied couples more likely to express
disagreement with negative affect
Negative emotions are associated with high
levels of physiological arousal for men, but
not for women
– Men may avoid negative affect in relationships
because it is more physiologically punishing
– Emotionally, men experience lower levels of
negative affect than women
