Module 7: Connecting and Communicating in the Modern World Flashcards
how much more likely are people with positive relationships to survive over time
50%
define intimate connectedness
relationship that makes you feel who you are is affirmed
define intimate relationships
- relationships with family members, friends, and romantic partners
- characterized by behavioral interdependence, need fulfillment, emotional attachment, and emotional availability
define behavioral interdependence
- mutual impact that people have on each other as their lives intertwine
- what one person does influences what the others person wants to do
what needs do we fulfill through intimate relationships
- intimacy: sharing feelings
- social integration: sharing worries
- nurturance: taking care of
- assistance: help in time of need
- affirmation: reassurance of worth
define emotional attachment
- feelings of love
- not only sexual relationships
define emotional availability
ability to give and receive emotions from others without fear of being hurt or rejected
when and why is holding back on emotional availability healthy
- after a painful breakup
- offers time for introspection, healing, and considering lessons learned
define accountability
- recognizing responsibility for your own choices and actions
define self-nurturance
- developing individual potential through a balances and realistic appreciation of self-worth and ability
- being patient with yourself
define self-concept
- the way you define yourself
- how you view your physical features, emotional states, talents, likes an dislikes, values, and roles
- may define self as activist, mother, honor student, athlete, musician, etc
define self-esteem
- the way you evaluate or feel about yourself
what is the central focus of a family
- protect, care for, love, and socialize with one another
- nurturance and support
define family of origin
- people present in our household during our first years of life
- initially leant about feelings, problems solving, love, intimacy, and gender roles
what characteristics are components of romantic relationships
- fascination: preoccupied with other person
- exclusivity: relationship takes priority
- sexual desire: physical intimacy
- giving the utmost: sacrifice for other
- being a champion or advocate: ensuring that other succeeds
what are the components of the triangular theory of love
- intimacy: emotional components
- passion: motivational component
- commitment: cognitive component
define the term consummate love
a relationship that combines intimacy, passion, and commitment
what are the components of Helen Fisher’s predictable theory of love based on brain circuitry and chemistry
- imprinting: evolutionary patterns, genetic predispositions, and past experiences trigger romantic attraction
- attraction: neurochemicals produce feelings of euphoria
- attachment: endorphins cause lovers to feel peaceful
- production of a cuddle chemical: oxytocin
according to Helen Fisher, why do some people constantly seek out new love
- endocrine system secretes hormones (dopamine, norepinephrine, and phenylethylamine) which are similar to amphetamines
- attraction causes natural high but body builds tolerance over time
what type of romantic relationship is intimacy only
liking
what type of romantic relationship is commitment and intimacy
companionate love
what type of romantic relationship is commitment only
empty love
what type of romantic relationship is passion and commitment
fatuous love
what type of romantic relationship is passion only
infatuation
what type of romantic relationship is intimacy and passion
romantic love
define attraction theory
- more than just chemical and psychological processes influence who a person falls in love with
- includes proximity, similarities, reciprocity, and physical attraction
what are the four ways that social support is delivered and describe each
- emotional: caring, love, trust, empathy
- instrumental: help and service
- informational: advice, suggestions, and information
- appraisal: information that is useful for self-evaluation
what matters when it comes to health: quality or quantity of relationships
quality
what is the average number of confidants reported by americans
a little over two per person
what percent of americans report have no one they can turn to for discussing important matters
9%
who is included in your social network
- neighbors, relatives, classmates, coworkers, friends of friends
define social capital
- collective value of people in your social network
define relational connectedness
- mutually rewarding face-to-face contact
- deepens each time we interact positively with someone
define collective connectedness
- from feelings that you are part of a group beyond yourself
- sense of community, volunteering
what percent of americans belong to a local group that strengthens collective connectedness
74%
do all cultures have the same ways of communicating
no
define self-disclosure
- sharing personal information with others
- can be good or bad
- requires trust in the other person
how to overcome fear of self-disclosure
- get to know yourself; feelings, beliefs, thoughts, concerns
- become more accepting of yourself
- be willing to talk about sex; difficult due to US cultural taboos
- choose a safe context for self-disclosure; trust the person you disclose to
- be thoughtful and self-disclosure via social media
what are some differences in how men and women communicate
- men: sensitive to subtle messages about status or social hierarchy, less eye contact, sound more abrupt, direct statements, gesture away from the body, difficulty expressing intimate feelings
- women: sensitive to interpersonal meanings, more eye contact, sound more emotional, tentative statements, gesture towards the body, more likely to ask for help
when do we listen best
- we believe that the message is important or relevant to us
- the speaker holds our attention
- in the mood to listen; no distractions
what are the 3 types of listening
- competitive
- passive
- active
define competitive listening
- more interested in explaining our own point of view than in understanding someone else’s
define passive listening
- listening but not providing verbal or nonverbal feedback
- speaker may feel unsure if the message is being received
define active listening
- hearing the words and trying to understand what is being said
- listener confirms understanding by restating message
- shows genuine interest
define nonverbal communication
- all unwritten and unspoken messages
- intentional and unintentional
- touch, gestures, interpersonal space, body language, tone of voice, facial expressions
are we more likely to believe verbal or nonverbal cues
nonverbal
how is digital communications different from face-to-face communication
- digital lacks nonverbal cues; makes communicating challenging
- digital allows for more diverse social network and easily keeping in touch
is it likely that using social networking sites decreases social networks
- no
- some evidence suggests that using social networking sites increases your social network
what mental disorder does overuse of socail networking sites cause and why
- depression
- envy others lives
how many college students admit to possibly being addicted to using their phone
60%
why are people more rude online
- anonymity
- invisibility
how does technology affect the brain
- rewiring
- causes inability to focus on things; reduced attention span
- strengthens ability to scan information rapidly and efficiently
what are 6 steps for conflict resolution
- identify the problem by talking and listening to the other person
- generate several possible solutions
- evaluate the alternative solutions and narrow down solutions to one that work for both parties
- decide on the best solution
- implement the solution
- follow up by checking in with the other person
what are the three fundamental elements of trust
- predictability of your partners behavior
- dependability of your partner to emotionally support you
- faith in your partner having positive intentions and behavior
define conflict resolution
- systemic approach to resolving differences fairly and constructively
define conflict
- emotional state that arises when the behavior of one person interferes with that of another
- not avoidable
- can strengthen relationships
define success in a relationship
- whether a couple stays together and remains close over the years
- learning to communicate, respect, and share genuine fondness
what are some issues for couples in long-term relationships
- jealousy
- sharing power and responsibility
- communication about unmet expectations
define jealousy
- negative reactions evoked by a real or imagine relationship involving one’s partner and another person
- indicates underlying problems
causes of jealousy
- insecurity or possessiveness
- past experiences of deception or loss
- overdependent on the relationship
- severity of the threat
- high value on sexual exclusivity
- low self-esteem
- fear of losing control
define power
- ability to make and implement decisions
how did power affect divorce rates in the past century
- women gaining more power by being financially stable
- less likely to stay in abusive or difficult relationships
how many women do daily household chores and how many men
- women: 49%
- men: 19%
what 4 behavior patterns in couple predict future divorce
- criticism
- defensiveness
- stonewalling
- contempt (biggest predictor)
tips for coping with a failed relationship
- acknowledge that you’ve gone through a rough spot
- seek out trusted friends or professional help
- let go of negative thought patterns and habits
- engage in activities that make you happy
have marriages in american been increasing or decreasing
decreasing
median age for marriage for men and women in 1960
- men: 23
- women: 20
median age for marriage for men and women today
- men: 29
- women: 27
how many first time marriages end in divorce
- 30-50%
- higher for second and third marriages
what is the difference between monogamy and serial monogamy
- monogamy: exclusive sexual involvement with one partner
- serial monogamy: monogamous relationship with one partner before moving to another monogamous relationship
what are the health benefits of a good marriage or unmarried partners who live together
- live longer
- feel happier
- fewer physical and mental problems
- less stress
- less risky personal behaviors
what do most americans consider to be the most important trait when choosing a partner
- similar ideas about having and raising children
- followed by a steady job
define cohabitation
- relationship of two unmarried people with an intimate connection living together
- over 7 years constitutes common law marriage in some states
is cohabitation a predictor for divorce
- no
- used to be but not anymore
who is more likely to cohabitate
- lower socioeconomic status
- less religious
- been divorced
- experienced parental divorce or high levels of parental conflict
what percent of men and women in the 20 to 34 year old age group have never been married
- men: 67%
- women: 57%
