Exam 3 ( Funeral Service Psychology And Counseling ch. 8-9) Flashcards
Studies have shown that nearly ___% of children think about death at one time or another
80
It is estimated that over __________ children in the United States alone will experience the death of a parent before age 18
2 million
Children’s belief structures surrounding death and how they respond when a death occurs are determined in part by three factors:
1) age or developmental level
2) manner of death
3) relationship with the deceased
Frequently, young children are concerned about the ____________ of the deceased
Physical well being
Characteristics of age group 6-9 that can be troublesome
- Death can be personified in the forms of monsters, ghosts, or other frightening creatures which allows children to be able to hide or run away from it.
- Tendency to engage in magical thinking.
The three developmental stages of teens and their expression of grief.
- Early teen years (12-14): search for answer to the question “am I okay?” May feel ill at ease with expressing grief
- middle teen years (14-16): a time when teens believe they are indestructible and bad things won’t happen to them. Express their grief by taking unhealthy risks
- late teen years (16-19): teens search for meaningful relationships. Grieve as much as adults do.
Grief response of children: birth - 2 years of age
- Before the age of six months infants show only a non-specific distress reaction to the absence of their mother.
- After six months to two years infants begin to experience normal grief reactions in response to absence of their mother
- if separation continues, the child manifests despair and sadness; may eventually become detached from everyone unless a constant caring person takes over
Understanding of death: ages 2 to 5
- Do not understand the finality of death. It is temporary and reversible
- frequently concerned about the well being of deceased
- interested in dead things
- ask the same questions over and over
Understanding of death: ages 6 to 9
- more complex understanding
- realize death is irreversible and universal
- find it difficult to believe death will happen to them
- engage in magical thinking-believing they can wish bad things to happen to others
- if they wish harm on a person and they die, it can cause guilt/fear
A child’s lack of ___________________, is one of the reasons they act out feelings through crying, withdraw, frightening dreams, aggressiveness, and misbehavior
Vocabulary to express how they feel
Understanding of death: ages 10 to 12
- cognitive understanding to comprehend death as a final event
- understand and accept a mature explanation of death as final and inevitable
- short attention spans, crying and depressed one minute, outside playing the next
- vocab is advanced enough to express feelings, but they may not talk about it.
- can build up and manifest into behavioral problems
- school is primary environment for misbehavior
Understanding of death: ages 13-18
- have adult understanding of death
- realize it is irreversible and happens to everyone
- frustration, anxiety, and confusion from normal puberty intensifies grief
“In confronting death, they’re trying to overcome their fears by confirming their control over mortality”
William Worden
The way you respond when talking to young children about Death is determined by
Your own personal and spiritual views on the topic
From approximately what age should a child be encouraged to attend a funeral or visit the cemetery?
Four years old
List of options that should be presented to the child or teenager in regard to attending funeral
– Attending or not attending the service
– Selecting the casket
– Deciding on whether or not to view the body
– Choosing special objects to put in the casket
–choosing which clothes the deceased will wear
– Choosing the grave marker and what will be written on it
– Picking out the urn for cremated remains
– Choosing the location to spread the ashes
– Selecting the burial site
– Selecting flowers, music, and readings for the service
– Participating in the service
– Closing the casket for the last time or being involved in the process
After the funeral the following options can be offered to the child or teenager
– What of the person’s possessions, if any, would he like to keep
– When does he think you will be ready to return to school?
– Does he want to see the cremated remains?
– Would he like to see the death certificate or the obituary?
– Would you like to participate in a support group?
– How would you like to memorialize the person on the anniversary of his death or on special occasions?
Aspects of the funeral that may be discussed to a child or teenager
– Who will be at the funeral or memorial service? – Where will the service take place? – When will the funeral happen? – What is going to happen? -why are we doing this?
A list of important facts a child might want to know before choosing to view the body
– The deceased is in a full, open, or partially closed casket
– The body is cool in temperature
– The body does not move
– The body cannot talk or see
– The body will not come back to life
– The body may have markings from injury or illness
– The body will look and feel different than the person did before death
Three developmental stages of teen years
- early teen (12-14)
- middle teen (14-16)
- late teen (16-19)
Ages 12-14
- search for answers to the question “am I okay?”
- very concerned about fitting in
- may feel ill at ease with expressing grief
Ages 14-16
- believe they are indestructible and bad things won’t happen to them
- cannot imagine their own death and often think they will live forever
- may take unhealthy risks: driving too fast, drugs, alcohol
Ages 16-19
- searching for meaningful relationships
- better able to understand complex relationships and more interested in another persons point of view
- better understanding of thoughts and feelings
- grieve as much as adults do
