Chapter 11 Flashcards
Need to belong
Desire to connect with others in close relationships
What percentage of the time are uni students talking to somone in waking lives?
28%
What 3 things typically result in a deep sense of well-being?
Belonging, autonomy, and competence
Ostracism
Acts of excluding/ignoring
Bullying vs. Ostracism
Those ostracised felt worse than those bullied. Felt like not existing.
What type of behavior happens when people are socially rejected?
Self-defeating behaviors that lack self-control. Hard to regulate behaviors: Eg. binge-eating ice cream, alcohol consumption, etc.
What happens to judgement when ostracized?
Worse judgement. More likely to believe conspiracy, hard to listen to directions, etc.
in 126 school shootings, what percentage of shooters had social rejection or conflict?
88%
Cyberostracism
People feel like they’re ignored over the internet. Eg. not getting lots of likes.
Relationship between physical pain and ostracism
Same brain regions. Social pain. Tylenol can relieve.
Do people relive past social pain or physical more easy?
social pain
How do those who were ordered ostracize others feel?
Same distress as the ostracized.
What types of people does exclusion hurt longest?
Anxious, younger people
What happens to brain of those ostracized?
Deficits in inhibiting unwanted behavior regions
Factors that nurture liking/loving (friendship/attraction)
Proximity, Familiarity, Physical Attraction, Similarity, Reciprocity
Mere exposure relates to which factor of friendship/attraction?
Proximity
Matching Phenomenon
Tendency for men and women to choose partners who are similar in attractiveness and other traits
Physical-attractiveness stereotype
Tendency for people to perceive physically attractive to have other good social traits too
Physical attraction and personality
No difference (no correlation)
We perceive attractive people as likable. Do we perceive likable people as attractive?
Yep. Goes both ways.
Geographical vs. Functional distance
Functional is how often paths cross
Which phenomenon of nurturing likableness is adaptive?
Anticipation of interaction. We are biased to like those we see often.
How does mere exposure relate to boredom?
It goes against it. Repeated exposure does not decrease liking, but increases. But there is such a thing as too much exposure.
Mere exposure is stronger when they’re in what state when something is exposed to them?
When they are unconscious of the exposition
_____ are often more instantaneous than thinking
emotions
Adaptive significance of mere-exposure effect
Categorize familiar things as safe.
Negative side of mere-exposure
We are naturally scared of what’s unfamiliar. Natural out-group exclusion.
Do people prefer their mirror image or an actual image of them? What phenomenon?
Mirror. Mere exposure effect.
How does physical attractiveness predict dating frequency?
Good predictor for both men and women.
What did the study on matching first-year couples to dance randomly find?
Only physical attraction predicted who they liked.
What happens to friends’ physical attractiveness over time?
Less similar to each other.
Physical attraction and voting
Able to guess winners based on looks alone pretty well.
Does physical attractiveness matter in interviews?
Yes, especially when it’s opposite sex.
How fast do physical first impressions form?
0.013 second exposure is enough to guess attractiveness. Very fast.
Physical attractiveness and gender types
Physically attractive are more masculine if male, more feminine if female
What happens to attractive scale when merging your face with mirror? Why?
More attractive. More symmetrical.
Evolutionary perspective of attractiveness
Those who are more attractive have better reproductive capacity. Women like men who have traits to protect resources
Waist-hip. What do men across world prefer?
30% narrower waists than hips. Shows sexual fertility
Ovulating women surprising stats
wear more revealing outfits, ovulating lap dancers get way more tips
How does exposure to 10s impact depictions?
Decreases own partner rating. Makes them less appealing. Same for showing of same gender to oneself.
How good is predictor of attractiveness of a 17-yr old for when they’re 30 to 50?
Not good. Average-looking can become very attractive later on.
How does likeness lead to liking? (not liking lead to likeness)
HK study: roommates who perceived other as similar flourished more than those actually similar.
Strangers tend to sit next to those similar to themselves.
What happens when we discover someone is dissimilar to us?
We decrease liking. Especially strong moral convictions. Greater magnitude than similarity.
Are romantic partners more similar or friends more similar?
Romantic partners.
Complementarity
Tendency for someone to complete what other is missing in a relationship
Do opposites attract?
Not really. As relationship progresses, then maybe that’s when develops.
Does liking predict other’s liking in return? What about cause?
Yes, does predict. Yes to causal too.
What happens when 1 negative comment amongst many positive ones?
We like them less.
What happens when praise violates the truth?
Lose respect. suspect ulterior motives.
Ingratiation
A self-serving strategy to gain favor from someone (like flattery comments)
What’s wrong with constant flattery comments?
The reward from these comments diminish. Honestly is not there. Negative comments will hurt a lot.
Reward Theory of Attraction
We like those whose behavior is rewarding to us or whom we associate rewarding events.
We like them because we associate rewards with them. Conditioning.
Best predictor of whether 2 are friends
Proximity (which breeds exposure)
Sternberg’s 3 components of love:
passion, intimacy, commitment.
Passionate love
Intense longing for union with another. “In love”. Lust and attachment. Not just loving someone, but in love.
Two-factor theory of emotion
Arousal x its label = emotion.
Intensify passionate feelings when aroused by anything.
Culture differences in love
Some cultures, love follows marriage (arranged marriage).
Gender differences in love
Men fall in love more readily. Also fall out more slowly. Break up less before marriage. Say “I love you” first.
Women think more of intimacy of friendship and concern of partner. Men think more playful and physical.
Companionate Love ( hormone?)
Affection for those whom our lives are deeply intertwined. Passion subsides. Oxytocin takes over.
what can passionate love be analagous to?
Drugs. High peak, then the thrill goes away. Lower than how it started.
Eg. arrange marriage more love after 5 yr
Cultural difference in disillusion after passionate love
Asians tend to focus less on personal feelings, more on practical social attachments
What enables good close relationships?
Secure attachment, equitability, and intimate self-disclosure reciprocity.
Secure Attachment
Rooted in trust, marked by intimacy
Avoidant attachment
Discomfort over being close to others. Insecure.
Anxious attachment
Anxiety. Cling to mother, distress when leaves. (eg. breaking up repeatedly with same person)
Most difficult attachment styles pairing
Anxious woman and avoidant man
Equity defined in attraction
Outcomes people receive from relationship are proportional to their contributions (does not mean equal outcomes)
What is long-term equity?
People in long-term relationship don’t care about short-term equity. They don’t keep track.
Equity and satisfaction
Those in equitable relationships are typically most content
Self-disclosure
Revealing intimate aspects of self to others
Disclosure Reciprocity effect
Disclosure begets disclosure. We are open to those who are open.
Prayer and marraige
75% who prayed with spouses reported marriages very happy.
What does writing deepest thoughts about relationship do?
You disclose more and express more emotion. Higher chances of continuing dating.
How many divorce per 2 marriages? Canada + US
1 divorces
Why breakups hurt
We need close relationships. We just lost one.
Pain and spurning someone’s love
After months, recall more pain of spurning love than being spurned.
What’s overall happiness when marriage is very happy?
Very happy.
Constructive and Destructive, Passive and Active table.
Constructive and Passive: Loyal. wait for improvement.
Constructive and Active: Voice. Seek solution
Destructive and Active: Exit. End relationship
Destructive and Passive: Neglect. Ignore partner
