Ch9: Sexuality Flashcards
permissiveness with affection standard
believing that sex between unmarried partners is fine as long as it occurs in the context of a committed, caring relationship
hookups
sexual interactions with nonromantic partners that usually last one night and do not involve any expectation of a lasting relationship
do men and women differ in their sexual opinions?
- men hold more permissive sexual values and attitudes
- both men and women usually have more positive than negative feelings after a hookup
- men are more likely than women to think that sex without love is ok
- when it comes to casual sex, women tend to regret their actions, but men regret their inactions
- potential mates seem less desirable as their numbers of past partners goes up
sexual double standard
- women are judged more harshly than men for being sexually experienced or permissive
- “sluts” vs “studs”
- women with STIs are judged more harshly than men
- very obvious years ago, but more subtle today
attitudes about same-sex sexuality
- more people view same-sex sexuality as acceptable now due to:
- gays and lesbians are more visible in public than ever before
- we understand same-sex sexuality much better than we used to
-people consider homosexuality to be acceptable when they believe it’s biologically derived but not as accepting if they think its a lifestyle
sex for the first time
- average age of first intercourse is 17 for both men and women
- teen birth rates are at an all time low
- most teens find their first experience with sex to be more positive than negative
- both men and women expect their first experience to be more wonderful than it is
do abstinence programs work?
-abstinence only programs routinely do more harm than good
four themes for why people have sex
- emotional - sex as a communication of love and commitment
- physical- pleasure and the attractiveness of your partner
- pragmatic- the wish to attain a goal
- insecurity- desire to boost self-esteem or keep partner close
extradyadic sex
having sex outside the couple with someone other than one’s partner
infidelity
- cheating occurs more in couples that are dating or cohabiting
- men are more likely to cheat on their partners than women are
- men pursue extradyadic sex for variety but women do so for an emotional connection
- 1/5 wives and 1/3 husbands do cheat
sociosexual orientations
the trait-like collection of beliefs and behaviours that describe our feelings about sex
- restricted sociosexual orientation –> people who only have sex in committed and affectionate relationships
- associated with the likelihood that people will have extradyadic sex
good genes hypothesis
suggests that some women, particularly those with less desirable mates, can profit from a dual mating strategy in which they a) pursue long-term partners who will contribute resources to protect and feed their offspring while b) seeking good genes for their children from other men
sperm competition
when the sperm of two or more men occupy a women’s vagina at the same time
factors that can lead to infidelity
- people who continue to consider alternatives when in a relationship
- keeping a backburner
- maintain contact with people whom they consider alternatives
- dissatisfied with current partner
- manipulative, low in agreeableness and conscientiousness
- high in anxiety about abandonment
- have cheated previously
sexual desire: historical view
tends to be higher for men:
- more masturbation
- want sex more often
- typically initiate sex sooner in new relationships
- think about sex more often
- spend more money on sex
- more accepting of casual sex
sexual desire: modern view
- we tend to view sexual desire as a sudden spark
- but when the definition is broadened to account for both spontaneous and responsive sexual desire, sexual desire across men and women is similar
reasons for unsafe sex
- underestimate of risk
- faulty decision making
- intoxication
- pluralistic ignorance
- inequalities in power
- abstinence education
- low self-control
- decreased intimacy and pleasure
illusion of unique invulnerability
we believe that bad things are generally more likely to happen to others than to us, so we fail to take sensible precautions that would prevent foreseeable dangers
alcohol myopia
the reduction of people’s abilities to think about and process all of the information available to them when they’re intoxicated
pluralistic ignorance
- when people wrongly believe that their feelings and beliefs are different from those of others
- can lead people to overestimate how common hookups are, and underestimate the proportion of people who use protection
power
- the ability to get a partner to do what you want
- when partners possess different levels of power, they are unlikely to use condoms if the more powerful partner opposes them
self-control
the ability to manage impulses, practice self-restraint, and generally do the right thing even when it requires effort
-people with low self-control tend to be involved with more risky behaviour
sexual satisfaction
-satisfaction in healthy and happy relationships can be impacted by:
- quality of the connection between partners
-frequency (more doesn’t necessarily mean better)
-need to fulfill basic human need for:
1. autonomy (control over one’s actions)
2. competence (feeling confident and capable)
3. relatedness (close connection to others)
SELF-DETERMINATION THEORY
sexual satisfaction cont’d
- people who subscribe to gender roles tend to have less satisfying sex
- motives underlying sex also influence satisfaction
- growth beliefs vs. destiny beliefs
- being valued by a partner leads to more rewarding sex
- people are unlikely to be sexually satisfied if they are dissatisfied with the relationship overall
