Ch14: Maintaining and Repairing Relationships

Question 1

relationship maintenance mechanisms

Answer 1

the strategic actions people take to sustain their partnerships

Question 2

5 cognitions that maintain relationships

Answer 2

1. cognitive interdependence
2. positive illusions
3. perceived superiority
   4 inattention to alternatives
4. derogation of tempting alternatives

Question 3

cognitive interdependence

Answer 3

• change in self definition
• when partners think of themselves as part of a greater whole that includes them and their partner
• using “we” and “us” as opposed to “me” and “i”

Question 4

positive illusions

Answer 4

when partners idealize each other and perceive their relationships in the best possible light

Question 5

perceived superiority

Answer 5

committed partners tend to think their relationships are better than most, and the happier they are, the more exceptional they consider their relationships to be
-makes a relationship more likely to last

Question 6

inattention to alternatives

Answer 6

when partners are relatively uninterested and unaware of how well they could be doing in alternative relationships

Question 7

derogation of tempting alternatives

Answer 7

allows people to feel that other potential partners are less attractive than the ones they already have
-strongest when the alternatives are most tempting and thereby pose the greatest threat to one’s relationship

Question 8

8 behavioral maintenance mechanisms

Answer 8

1. willingness to sacrifice
2. prayer
3. michelangelo phenomenon
4. accommodation
5. self-control
6. play
7. rituals
8. forgiveness

Question 9

willingness to sacrifice

Answer 9

when committed people are willing to make various personal sacrifices in order to promote the well-being of their partners or relationship

Question 10

prayer

Answer 10

-those who begin praying for the success and well-being of their partners become more satisfied with the sacrifices they make

Question 11

michelangelo phenomenon

Answer 11

when our partners encourage us to be all that we can be- supporting the development of skills, promoting self growth

Question 12

accommodation

Answer 12

willingness to control the impulse to response poorly to a partner’s provocation and to instead respond constructively

Question 13

self-control

Answer 13

the ability to manage one’s impulses, control one’s thoughts, persevere in pursuit of desired goals, curb unwanted behaviour

Question 14

play

Answer 14

couples are usually content when they find ways to engage in novel, challenging, exciting, and pleasant activities together

Question 15

rituals

Answer 15

recurring patterns of behaviour that become familiar routines that “if gone, would be missed”
-represent two partners’ devotion to their relationship and their identity as a couple

Question 16

forgiveness

Answer 16

-committed partners are more likely to offer forgiveness after a partner’s betrayal

Question 17

How to remain content in relationships

Answer 17

• make your interactions enjoyable
• openness
• talk about what you want from your relationship
• assuring one another
• be understanding
• sharing tasks
• engaging with each other’s social networks
• participate in joint activities

-best predictors of a happy marriage are positivity, assurances, sharing tasks

Question 18

repairing relationships: therapy

Answer 18

• different types based on their focus on:
• problematic behaviour, thoughts, feelings
• individual vulnerabilities of the couple’s interaction as the source of dysfunction
• past events or present difficulties as the source of the distress
• therapy that works the best for you is the one that is most appealing to you
• therapist has a big role in your satisfaction with therapy

Question 19

behaviour couple therapy (BCT)

Answer 19

• encourages couples to be more pleasant with one another
• focuses on present interactions and communication
• aims to replace negative and punishing behaviour with more kind and generous actions

Question 20

cognitive-behavioural couple therapy (CBCT)

Answer 20

• seeks to change various aspects of the ways partners think about and appraise their partnership
• addresses selective attention, expectations, relationship beliefs
• argues that a couple will be more content when they are able to perceive and judge each other fairly, kindly, and reasonably

Question 21

integrative behavioural couple therapy (IBCT)

Answer 21

• aim is to encourage more desirable behaviour and get each partner to tolerate and accept the incompatibilities that they cannot change
• teaches adaptive emotional reactions –> emotional regulations

Question 22

emotion focused couple therapy (EFCT)

Answer 22

• focuses on improving relationships by increasing partners’ attachment security
• primarily focuses on the emotions partners experience as they seek to fulfill their attachment needs
• tries to identify maladaptive cycles of emotional communication

Question 23

insight-orientated couple therapy (IOCT)

Answer 23

• focuses on vulnerabilities to a greater extent than other types of therapies
• aims to help people understand how personal habits and assumptions can cause relationship problems