Ch5: Communication

Question 1

how does communication begin?

Answer 1

• begins with the sender’s intentions, the message the sender wishes to convey
• then, the receiver must decode the speaker’s actions
• finally, result is an effect on the receiver that is private and known only to them

Question 2

interpersonal gap

Answer 2

• where the sender’s intentions differ from the effect on the receiver
• more likely to occur in close relationships than among strangers because we don’t expect our partners to misunderstand us, thus we don’t work as hard to make sure we’re on the same page

Question 3

Five functions of Nonverbal behaviour

Answer 3

1. provides information –> about peoples moods or meaning
2. regulating interaction –> provides cues that regulate the efficient give-and-take of smooth conversations
3. define the relationship –> by expressing intimacy and carrying signals of power and status
4. interpersonal influence –> goal-oriented behaviour designed to influence someone else
5. impression management –> nonverbal behaviour that is managed by a person or a couple to create or enhance a particular image

Question 4

seven components of nonverbal communication

Answer 4

1. facial expressions
2. gazing behaviour
3. body movement
4. touch
5. interpersonal distances
6. smells
7. paralanguage

Question 5

facial expressions

Answer 5

• universal meanings of facial expressions make them informative
• people can try to manage/disguise their true emotions
• four ways we try to modify our expressions:
  1. intensify our expressions
  2. minimize our expressions
  3. neutralize our expressions
  4. mask our real feelings

Question 6

display rules

Answer 6

cultural norms that dictate what emotions are appropriate in particular situations

Question 7

microexpressions

Answer 7

authentic flashes of real emotions during momentary lapses of control

Question 8

the eyes and gazing behaviour

Answer 8

• our pupils dilate when we’re looking at something that interests us
• gazing helps define the relationship two people share once interaction begins
• time spent looking at something is telling
• can communicate affection, simple interest, and dominance

Question 9

visual dominance ratio

Answer 9

• compares “look-speak” (the percentage of time a speaker gazes at a listener) to “look-listen”
• high-power pattern of gazing has a VDR or 60/40 where the speaker looks more at the listener

Question 10

body movement

Answer 10

• gestures can vary widely from culture to culture
• posture or motion of the body can be informative
• body posture can signal status –> high status people adopt open and asymmetric postures, take up lots of space

Question 11

touch

Answer 11

• physical contact with another person can have various meanings
• two people tend to touch each other more when their relationship is more intimate

Question 12

interpersonal distance

Answer 12

• the physical space that separates two people
• consists of several zones:
  1. intimate zone –> front of chest to 1.5 feet
  2. personal zone –> 1.5-4 feet away
  3. social zone –> 4-12 feet
  4. public zone –> beyond 12 feet

these distances are for north americans, but other countries tend to have smaller distances (ie french, latin, arabic cultures)

Question 13

smell

Answer 13

• different emotions cause people to emit different chemicals –> chemosignals

Question 14

paralanguage

Answer 14

• includes all the variations in a person’s voice other than the actual words he or she uses, such as rhythm, pitch, loudness, and rate
• not WHAT people say, but HOW they say it

Question 15

mimicry

Answer 15

• occurs during a conversations when the participants adopt similar postures and mannerisms, display comparable expressions, and use similar paralanguage
• we tend to like someone more when they display nonverbal mimicry

Question 16

why can nonverbal communication be difficult to accurately interpret

Answer 16

• some people are better at reading people than others are

- women are both better encoders and decoders than men are on average

Question 17

self-disclosure

Answer 17

• the process of revealing personal information to someone else
• one of the defining characteristics of intimacy
• people who open up to each other, like each other more than do couples who don’t reveal as much
• self-disclosure develops through social penetration theory

Question 18

social penetration theory

Answer 18

• closeness between two people involves communication that increases in breadth (variety of topics) and depth (details of topics)
• reciprocity is also incorporated // partners matching each other’s level of openness –> key to developing intimacy
• social penetration is almost never total, because partners should have some privacy too

Question 19

interpersonal process model of intimacy

Answer 19

• theory that genuine intimacy will likely develop under these conditions:
  1. engaging in self disclosure
  2. the relationship needs to be authentic, and involve openness and honesty
  3. both partners need to be responsive –> disclosures are met with interest, sympathy, and respect

Question 20

perceived partner responsiveness

Answer 20

• judgement that one’s partner is understanding and caring

- key part of interpersonal process model of intimacy

Question 21

secrets in relationships

Answer 21

• despite sharing a lot of info in intimate relationships, we usually keep somethings to ourselves
• people like and need their privacy
• secrets are not bad themselves, but its the intent behind keeping them that can make them bad or good

Question 22

taboo topics

Answer 22

• sensitive matters that may threaten the quality of one’s relationship
• topics that couples steer clear of
• the more taboo topics there are in a relationship, the less satisfied the partners are

Question 23

how does self-disclosure influence relationship satisfaction?

Answer 23

• more self-disclosure = happier couples tend to be
• we tend to reveal more personal info to those we like and we tend to like others because we have self-disclosed to them
• it is rewarding to be entrusted with self-disclosures from others
• people who self-disclose more, tend to have more life satisfaction and enjoy better health

Question 24

how do men and women differ in terms of verbal communication?

Answer 24

• men tend to have less intimate and personal conversations with each other than women do
• women speak somewhat less forcefully than men do, being more indirect and less certain
• in established relationships, women are more self-disclosing than men
• men open up to women, women are open among themselves, but men disclose less to other men

Question 25

instrumentality versus expressivity

Answer 25

• women tend to be high in expressivity
• men value instrumental communication skills (ie. ability to give clear instructions and directions) more than women do
• both men and women consider expressive skills to be more important in close relationships than instrumental skills

Question 26

kitchen-sinking

Answer 26

• addressing several topics at once in a conversation

- usually causes the primary concern to get lost in the barrage of frustrations that are announced at the same time

Question 27

off-beaming

Answer 27

wandering from topic to topic so that the conversation never stays on one problem long enough to resolve it

Question 28

patterns of miscommunication

Answer 28

1. unhappy people do a poor job of saying what they mean
2. unhappy partners do a poor job of hearing each other
3. unhappy partners too often display negative affect when they talk with each other

Question 29

mindreading

Answer 29

occurs when people assume that they understand their partners’ thoughts, feelings, and opinions without asking

Question 30

interrupt

Answer 30

interrupting each other in negative ways

Question 31

yes-butting

Answer 31

finding something wrong or un-workable with anything their partners say // communicating constant criticism of the other’s point of view

Question 32

cross-complaining

Answer 32

fails to acknowledge other’s concerns // instead of expressing interest in what their partner has to say, responding to a complaint with one of their own

Question 33

criticism

Answer 33

attacking a partner’s personality or character instead of identifying a specific behaviour that is causing concern

Question 34

contempt

Answer 34

insults, mockery, or hostile humor

Question 35

defensiveness

Answer 35

instead of treating the complaint as legitimate and reasonable, the partner seeks to protect themselves by making excuses or by cross-complaining

Question 36

stonewalling

Answer 36

reacting to the situation by withdrawing into a stony silence // lack of responsiveness

Question 37

belligerence

Answer 37

aggressively rejecting the other altogether

ex. “so what are you gonna do about it? “

Question 38

behavior description

Answer 38

• identifying as plainly and concretely as possible a specific behaviour that annoyed us
• specifies a particular event and does not involve generalities (ie always, never)

Question 39

i-statements

Answer 39

• statements that start with “I” then describe a distinct emotional reaction
• force us to identify our feelings and keeps the entire focus off the partner

Question 40

xyz statements

Answer 40

statements that follow the form of “when you do X in situation Y, I feel Z”

Question 41

paraphrasing

Answer 41

• component of active listening

- repeating a message in our own words and giving the sender a chance to agree that that’s what he or she actually meant

Question 42

perception checking

Answer 42

• a component of active listening
• where people assess the accuracy of their inferences about a partner’s feelings by asking the partner for clarification
• opposite of mindreading

Question 43

negative affect reciprocity

Answer 43

where a couple is contemptuous of each other, with each being scornful of what the other has to say

Question 44

validation

Answer 44

• acknowledging the legitimacy of one’s opinions and communicating respect for their position
• does not require you to agree with someone