Ch13: Dissolution and Loss of a Relationship

Question 1

Prevalence of divorce

Answer 1

• current divorce rates are much higher than before
• people over 50 are less likely to divorce than younger adults, but rate of divorce has doubled over the last 25 years
• marriages are less likely to end than other romantic relationships, but they are less likely to last than they used to be

Question 2

why has divorce rate increased?

Answer 2

• we hold more demanding expectations for marriage than before
• cohabitation before marriage is widespread
• women entering the workforce
• marriage is no longer a practical necessity
• we marry for love and passion
• we ask more of our spouses than ever before
• divorce is now more socially accepted

Question 3

common reasons relationships end

Answer 3

• different values
• communication and miscommunication
• infidelity
• changes in personality and lifestyle
• growing apart
• better alternatives
• abuse
• expectations aren’t met
• comparison levels
• differences in priorities
• family approval and acceptance (social networks)

Question 4

history of divorce in canada

Answer 4

• divorce law is under federal jurisdiction (all divorce across provinces is the same)
• in 1968, canada’s first unified divorce law was passed
• in 1986, time living apart was reduced from three to on year

Question 5

reasons for divorce in canada

Answer 5

• you have been living apart for one year or more
• your spouse has been physically or mentally cruel to you
• your spouse has committed adultery –> a type of infidelity where you have to be married first

Question 6

cost of divorce

Answer 6

• 1.3 k for uncontested divorce
• 13k for a contested divorce
• taking the divorce to court could cost over 50k

Question 7

division of property

Answer 7

• under canada’s constitution, each province and territory is responsible for laws regarding the division and/or equalization of family or marital property
• these laws can vary from one province or territory to another

Question 8

millennial divorce

Answer 8

-when unmarried couples buy houses together and then they break up = messy situation

Question 9

Levinger’s Barrier Model- 3 elements that influence the breakup of relationships

Answer 9

1. attraction –> attraction is enhanced by rewards a relationship offers and is diminished by the costs
2. alternatives –> any alternative to a current relationship that lures a partner away is a threat
3. barriers –> things surrounding the relationship that make it hard to leave

Question 10

vulnerability-stress-adaptation model - 3 influences that contribute to divorce

Answer 10

1. enduring vulnerabilities –> things people enter the marriage with that increase risk of divorce
2. adaptive processes –> how people respond to stress
3. stressful events –> require the partners to provide support to one another and to adjust to new circumstances

Question 11

stress spillover

Answer 11

any frustrations and difficulties that we experience individually at work or school that cause us to be moody when we interact with our innocent partners

Question 12

enduring dynamics

Answer 12

spouses bring their own problems, incompatibilities, and vulnerabilities into a relationship which may or may not necessarily be apparent in the beginning
-predicted how happy marriages would be

Question 13

emergent distress

Answer 13

problematic behaviour that destroys a marriage emerges after the marriage

Question 14

disillusionment

Answer 14

people begin their marriages with unrealistically positive views of their relationship
-best predictor of which couples would actually divorce

Question 15

Conclusions from the PAIR project

Answer 15

• the size and speed of changes in romance best predict which couples will divorce
• the problems couples bring to their marriage determine how quickly divorce will occur
• both the level of satisfaction and couple experiences and the change in that satisfaction over time are key in relational outcomes

Question 16

Three general types of influences on our marital outcomes

Answer 16

1. cultural context –>
2. personal contexts –> social networks of family and friends
3. relational context –> intimate environment couples create

Question 17

the process of breaking up

Answer 17

• people tend not to take breaking up and break-ups lightly

- specifically with divorces (but also with other relationships), people tend to think about them for a long time

Question 18

distinctions in break-ups

Answer 18

1. direct vs indirect
2. other-oriented (protect partners feelings) vs self-oriented (more selfish)
3. gradual vs sudden onset of one’s unsatisfaction
4. individual vs shared desire to end relationship
5. rapid vs protracted nature of one’s exit
6. presence or absence of repair attempts

Question 19

5 general stages during the dissolution of relationships

Answer 19

1. personal phase –> partner grows dissatisfied
2. dyadic phase –> unhappy partner reveals their discontent
3. social phase –> publicizing distress to friends and family
4. grave-dressing phase –> getting over the breakup
5. resurrection phase –> person re-enters the world as a new single individual

Question 20

churning

Answer 20

occurs when partners break up but then reconcile and get back together
-usually disadvantageous –> associated with stress and uncertainty and chronically lower satisfaction when relationship continues

Question 20

churning

Answer 20

occurs when partners break up but then reconcile and get back together
-usually disadvantageous –> associated with stress and uncertainty and chronically lower satisfaction when relationship continues

Question 21

children of divorce

Answer 21

• children whose parents divorce exhibit lower levels of well-being
• their adult relationships are more fragile
• but these effects are not large
• transmission of divorce can be genetic
• children are better off going through a divorce rather than be in a home full of conflict

Question 22

children of divorce: parental loss view

Answer 22

children are presumed to benefit from having two parents who are devoted to their care, and children who lose a parent are less likely to be well off

Question 23

children of divorce: parental stress model

Answer 23

the quality, not the quantity, of the parenting a child receives is key, and any stressor that distracts one’s parents can have detrimental effects

Question 24

children of divorce: parental conflict

Answer 24

bad interactions between parents appear to be hard on children and can lead to anxiety, poorer health, and problematic behaviour in children