123 Magic

Question 1

what does Dr. Phelan mean when he says 123 Magic is simple but not easy?

Answer 1

• Simple: technique is simple; all you have to do is count to 3 with 5-second delays between counts. If you reach 3, you have to give the child a punishment
• Not easy: need a good amount of self-control → no talking and no emotion

Question 2

what are the 2 ways children will respond to 123 magic?

Answer 2

• 50% will cooperate immediately (“like magic”) → decrease in child misbehaviours
• 50% will be testers/manipulators → increase in child testing the parent or trying to make them feel bad to try and discourage parents from using the technique

Question 3

what behaviour problems should 123 Magic be used for?

Answer 3

• “Stop behaviours”: any behaviours that you want to stop/decrease, not for “start behaviours”
• • More 1-2-3 Magic will show 7 tactics to use on “start behaviours” (increase desired behaviours)
• Mild problem behaviours (ie. whining, arguing), not major behaviours

Question 4

what is the Little Adult assumption? What problematic discipline technique does it lead to?

Answer 4

• Little adult assumption: assuming that child is a selfless mini-adult that can reason and understand logic (he’s misinterpreting egocentrism)
• Leads to Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit Syndrome → talk to kids too much, then try to persuade them, then leads to arguing, hitting, yelling, etc. (coercion theory)

Question 5

How does Dr. Phelan address the 3 dysfunctional parenting behaviours on the Parenting Scale (Hulei et al) in 123 Magic?

Answer 5

• Verbosity: talking to children too much when disciplining (because of little adult assumption) → avoid talking/explaining to kids when using 1-2-3 Magic because kids will tune you out and it might escalate into TPAYH syndrome
• Overreactivity: if you try to reason with kids and it doesn’t work, parents become angry and argue, yell, and hit their kids (Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit Syndrome)
  overreacting to kids gives child gratification by allowing them to exert control on their environment → they know they can cause a reaction in you
• Laxness: giving you simple technique (1-2-3 Magic) to avoid laxness → if parents know what to do, maybe they won’t be so lax in the future (but it’s a global consequence, so not necessarily ideal)

Question 6

What is the solution 123 Magic offers to solve parenting problems? What are the exceptions?

Answer 6

• Simple, but not easy solution → counting to 3 with 5-second delays, global consequence/punishment given if you reach 3, no explanations
• 2 exceptions:
• • first-time offence (if child hasn’t shown this behaviour before and they don’t necessarily know why it’s wrong) → give explanation after the punishment
• • major child misbehaviour → discussion after punishment

Question 7

BF Skinner’s Operant Conditioning (behaviour modification principles): 4 types of consequences (and connection to 123 Magic)

Answer 7

• Reinforcement increases or maintains future behavior frequency whereas punishment decreases it (reinforcement = More 1,2,3 Magic; punishment = 1,2,3 Magic)
• positive reinforcement – add something child perceives as pleasant (ex. giving child candy, stickers, etc.)
• negative reinforcement – take something away that child perceives as unpleasant (ex. if child hates making sandwich, you make their sandwich for them if they pack the rest of their lunch)
• positive punishment - add something child perceives as unpleasant (ex. time-out)
• negative punishment - take something away that child perceives as pleasant (ex. taking away toys, video game time, etc.)

Question 8

BF Skinner: continuous vs. partial reinforcement schedules (and application to 123 Magic)

Answer 8

• continuous (getting reinforcement every single time) → increase behaviour frequency
• • initially, you should use continuous
• partial (reinforcing randomly, every other time, etc.) → maintain behaviour frequency
• • once child has established behaviour, switch to partial to maintain it
• Application: Dr. Phelan says that parents may be unknowingly applying partial reinforcement (any time parents fail to consistently enforce rules, they create a partial reinforcement schedule - maintains behaviour they don’t want)

Question 9

extinction (and its application to 123 Magic)

Answer 9

• remove a consequence that was reinforcing an unwanted behaviour
• application: he tells parents to stop doing things that were unknowingly reinforcing unwanted behaviours (ie. talking, being overly-emotional)

Question 10

Coercion theory (and application to 123 Magic)

Answer 10

• If parent is aggressive/hostile, it will typically invite a hostile response from the child
• application: relates to the Talk-Persuade-Argue-Yell-Hit Syndrome (escalating hostility) → use 123 Magic to avoid parent-child hostility

Question 11

Attribution theory (and its application to parenting)

Answer 11

• When children misbehave, parents will try to attribute the misbehaviour to something (figure out why the child did it); attributions will influence your choice of discipline and hostility
• application: Dr. Phelan attributes children’s misbehaviours to negative things like revenge/selfishness (child wants to hurt you, bother you, etc.)
• • arguably, he fails to appropriately consider this theory

Question 12

viewpoint of effective parents vs. ineffective parents in terms of child misbehaviour

Answer 12

• Effective parents recognize that children make mistakes and that this is different from deliberate disobedience
• Ineffective parents tend to see any kind of misbehavior as wilful and manipulative. These ineffective parents tend to feel that their child is somehow trying to deliberately do something to hurt them or get back at them.

Question 13

Developmental theories (and their application to 123 Magic)

Answer 13

• in relation to parenting, you have to tailor parenting practices/goals to the child’s age
• application: Dr Phelan tells you to avoid the little adult assumption (recognize that kids don’t have same cognitive/emotional skills as adults), HOWEVER, he also suggests that this program is applicable for ages 2-12, but that’s a huge developmental range (so he also fails to adequately apply this theory)
• • Should have different approaches tailored to 2-4, 4-6, 6-8, etc

Question 14

7 types of testing/manipulation (and an example for each)

Answer 14

• badgering (ex. “Mom? Mom? Please? Just this once? Please? Please? Please?!”
• temper/verbal intimidation (ex. swearing, “you’re the worst parent ever!”)
• verbal threat (ex. “I’m running away from home!”)
• martyrdom (guilt induction by child) (ex. crying, pouting, “nobody here loves me”)
• butter-up (ex. saying something nice to the parent in hopes that they’ll forget about the rules or change their mind)
• physical (running away, breaking stuff, or physically attacking you) –> immediate consequence
• whining (combo of martyrdom and badgering; “4+1 combo”)

Question 15

What type of discipline (out of the 7 types) is Dr. Phelan primarily using? Is he using any of the others?

Answer 15

• Primarily using power assertion: telling kids what to do with no explanation
• Not using:
• • Induction (not providing reasoning for consequences/rules)
• • Positive Discipline (using punishment instead of reinforcement; using global consequences instead of natural or logical ones
• • Proactive (123 Magic is for when problems are already happening)
• • Shaming (not attacking child’s sense of self)
• • Guilt induction (not making child feel guilty)
• • Love withdrawal (not taking away love)