week 8 Flashcards
What is jealousy?
is the unhappy
combination of hurt, anger, and fear
that occurs when people face the
potential loss of a valued
relationship to a real or imagined
rival.
At the very foundation of romantic jealousy lies the concept of
Entitlement: we fear the loss of something or someone that we
feel entitled to have. Jealousy reflects our fear that someone
else will unjustly take possession of something that belongs to
us.
Jealousy occurs in the context of
a relationship
Envy occurs within
individuals as a result of comparison
Jealousy provokes feelings of
anger, sadness and resentment
Envy provokes feelings of
sadness, guilt or desire to change
Jealousy makes the person feel
fear and distrust toward the other person
envy makes the person feel
inferior to those they envy
Two types of jealousy
reactive and suspicious jealousy
Reactive jealousy is
occurs in response to an actual threat to a
valued relationship.
Suspicious jealousy
occurs when one’s partner hasn’t
misbehaved and one’s suspicions do not fit the facts at hand.
Susceptibility to jealousy increases with
dependence on a relationship
attachment styles
personality traits
Who makes us jealous?
Rivals who make us look bad by
comparison (e.g., very attractive,
accomplished, successful) are
particularly worrisome.
Evolutionary perspective suggests
s that men and women
should be sensitive to different
kinds of infidelity in their romantic
partners.
Does emotional infidelity or sexual infidelity upset the genders differently?
Men are more upset about sex, they will ask more often did you have sex with them
Women are more upset about emotional infedelity, they ask more often do you love them
Why might men be more worried about sex?
paternity uncertainty
Why might women be more worried about emotional infidelity?
For women, the greater risk may be that a mate will withdraw his
protective resources and transfer them to another mate
Social role theory of jealousy?
- Sexual activity may be more salient to a male’s self-concept and
self-esteem and nurturing may be more salient to a female’s self-concept.
Transactional model of jealousy?
Examines how three variables—arousal, commitment, and
insecurity—moderate jealousy.
* The experience of jealousy might be shaped by specific
relationship goals.
Social media use study and jealousy?
Studies have found no differences in jealousy scores for males
and females related to social media use.
* Older age and higher self-esteem are negatively correlated with
Facebook or Instagram jealousy.
Attachment styles and jealousy
Secure attachment people who are comfortable with closeness tend to express concerns and repair the relationship- less jealous
There is a sex difference too”:
Women strive to protect the relationship.
* Men strive to protect their egos.
Rivalry sensitivity hypothesis states that women and men tend to
women tend to pay attention to potential rivals (other women) in their
mate’s vicinity
Men focus on their partner
People who cope successfully with jealousy practice 2 things:
- Self-reliance – efforts to “stay
cool and calm” - Self-bolstering – giving a boost to
one’s self-esteem
interpersonal conflict occurs whenever one person’s
person’s motives,
goals, beliefs, opinions, or
behaviour interfere with, or are
incompatible with those of another.
What is conflict:
Conflict occurs when one’s wishes or actions impede those
of someone else. When one partner must give up doing
something that they want because of the other partner’s
influence.
Conflict is inescapable for 2 reasons.
- Any two people will occasionally differ in their moods and
preferences. - There are certain tensions that are woven into the fabric of
close relationships that will, sooner or later, always cause
some strain (dialectics).
There’s a dialectical tension between
Personal autonomy and close
connection to others.
There’s a dialectical tension between
stability and change, integration and separation
dating coupes report how many conflicts each week.
spouses experiencehow many unpleasant disagreements each month
dating: two conflicts per week
spouses: one to two conflicts each month
The amount of conflict people encounter is linked to:
Personality (high negative emotions have more) and attachment styles (secure people have less)
The frequency of conflict is also associated with
stage of life, similarity and stress
How does the stage of life affect conflict frequency?
older couples have fewer conflicts than younger
couples do.
Similarity affects conflict frequency how
the less similar partners are, the more conflict they
experience.
How does stress affect conflict frequency?
the more stress two partners experience, the more likely
they encounter conflict.
what causes the most conflict
children- care for and discipline of the kids (38% of conflict)
least cause of most conflict
personality 7
What four types of events cause most conflicts?
Criticism, illegitimate demands, rebuffs, cumulative annoyances
Criticism causing conflict
m involves verbal or nonverbal acts that communicate unfair
dissatisfaction or that seem unjustly critical.
illegitimate demands:
are requests that are excessive and that seem
unjust.
rebuffs:
occur when one is denied a desired reaction.
Cumulative annoyances:
are relatively trivial events that become
irritating with repetition.
Attributional conflict:
can occur, with partners arguing over
whose explanation is right and whose is wrong.
Escalation of conflict:
If the issue is engaged and conflict begins, negotiation and
rational problem-solving may follow.
* However, in other cases, escalation occurs, and the conflict
heats up.
Arikewuyo et al. (2020) hypothesized that:
- Social media will be positively associated with conflicts in
romantic relationships - Jealousy over partner’s activities on social media will be
positively associated with conflict in romantic relationships.
Results:
Both hypotheses supported
Demand/withdrawal pattern
An obnoxious cycle occurs when one partner engages in
demanding forms of behaviour and the other partner engages in
withdrawing forms of behaviour.
* The demander tends to become more insistent, while the
withdrawer becomes more resistant.
4 types of negotiation and accomodation
voice, loyalty, neglect, exit
Voice refers to
Actively and constructively working to improve the situation.
loyalty:
: passively and constructively waiting and hoping for things to
get better.
Neglect:
: passively and destructively allowing things to get worse.
exit:
active but destructive responses such as leaving the partner.
Dealing with conflict: 4 types of conflicts
- volatile 2. valldators 3. avoiders 4. hostilers
Volatile:
Volatile couples have frequent and passionate arguments but
temper their anger with fondness for each other.
validators:
s fight more politely and calmly, behaving more like
collaborators than antagonists
Avoiders rarely argue:
they avoid confrontation and often just try
to fix problems on their own.
Hostiles
Fight with critiscm contempt and defensiveness and withdrawal
Ending conflict: domination
occurs when one partner gets their way when the other capitulates
ending conflict: comprimise
occurs when both
parties reduce their aspirations so
that a mutually acceptable
alternative can be reached.
ending conflict: integrative agreements
satisfy
both partners’ original goals and
aspirations, usually through
creativity and flexibility.`
ending conflict: structural conflict
occurs
when the partners not only get
what they want, but they also make
desirable changes to their
relationship.
