rebt Flashcards
What belief is behind that feeling?
I’m not sure there’s a belief behind it. It’s more like a felt sense, not a thought.
REBT hinges on the idea that thoughts create feelings. You removed the thought = no starting point.
Is that belief rational or irrational?
It might not be logical, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t useful.
REBT wants to “dispute irrational beliefs.” You reframed irrationality as adaptive. Game over.
It sounds like you’re saying you must be in control.
Not must—just deeply prefer. Some things feel non-negotiable to me, and I’m okay with that.
You sidestepped “demandingness” by turning it into calm preference. They can’t argue without looking like they’re policing your needs.
Can you see how that belief is causing your distress?
I see how the feeling and the thought exist together, but I don’t blame one for the other.
You broke the clean ABC chain (Activating Event → Belief → Consequence). They can’t intervene if you don’t name a cause.
What would be a more rational way to look at that?
I’m not really focused on what’s rational. I’m more interested in what feels congruent.
Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy is all about finding “rational” thinking. You’ve stepped outside their entire language.
Aren’t you catastrophizing?
Maybe. But preparing for the worst is how I stay stable.
Catastrophizing is considered an error in REBT. You rebranded it as strategic wisdom. They’re stuck.
You’re upsetting yourself with that belief. Can you see that?
I hear you, but I don’t really experience it that way. I accept the feeling and let it be.
They need you to admit you’re causing your own distress. You calmly declined to play that blame game.
Write out the irrational belief and replace it with a rational one.
I usually process these things internally, not in writing. That’s how it works best for me.
Homework is core to REBT—no written work = no trackable progress = they’re flying blind.
Saying ‘I have to’ creates pressure. What if you said ‘I’d prefer to’ instead?
I get the logic, but ‘have to’ captures the emotional weight better. I’m okay holding that.
You rejected their reframe not emotionally—but with calm self-permission. That neutralizes their strategy.
You’re saying you’re not good enough—can we challenge that belief?
I don’t really relate to self-worth in those terms. I just try to live in alignment.
REBT wants to improve self-evaluation. You dissolved the evaluation structure entirely.
CARD 1
REBT Question: “What evidence do you have for that belief?”
Avoidant Response: “I’m not sure—I’d have to think about it.”
Anxious Truth: “I’ve collected all the evidence, but sharing it makes it feel more real—and harder to control.”
Why it pisses them off: They’re looking for logic to override emotion, but you’re guarding the vault with silence disguised as thoughtfulness.
CARD 2
REBT Question: “Is that belief helpful or harmful?”
Avoidant Response: “It’s probably a mix. I think it keeps me functioning.”
Anxious Truth: “It keeps me from falling apart. I know it’s not ideal, but it’s stable.”
Why it pisses them off: They want you to label it as a “problem,” but you frame it as a functional adaptation—and that blocks their intervention loop.
CARD 3
REBT Question: “Can we challenge that thought together?”
Avoidant Response: “Sure, I’m open to that.”
Anxious Truth: “I’ll nod along but stay five steps ahead. I’m not giving you the keys to the inner room.”
Why it pisses them off: They think you’re engaging, but you’re using polite detachment as your shield—and they can feel the wall, even if they can’t name it.
CARD 4
REBT Question: “Could there be a more rational belief here?”
Avoidant Response: “Maybe. I’m trying to stay curious about it.”
Anxious Truth: “I already know what you want me to say, and I’m weighing if it’s safe to say it—or better to let you think you got through.”
Why it pisses them off: You sound flexible, but you’re actually playing decoy—it’s hard to provoke resistance when the target keeps vanishing politely.
CARD 5
REBT Question: “Wouldn’t it help to change that belief?”
Avoidant Response: “I can see how that might help some people.”
Anxious Truth: “If I change the belief, I lose the structure I built my safety on. Even if it hurts, it’s mine.”
Why it pisses them off: They want to rewire your core, but you won’t hand over the blueprints—you smile while keeping them out of the engine room.
CARD 6
REBT Question: “What’s the worst that could happen if you let go of that belief?”
Avoidant Response: “Hmm… I’m not sure. Maybe it’d feel unfamiliar.”
Anxious Truth: “I’d feel exposed, unguarded. Letting go means letting it in—and that’s the real fear.”
Why it pisses them off: You give them enough to keep talking, but not enough to dig under—your fog is courteous and airtight.
CARD 7
REBT Question: “How does holding onto that belief serve you?”
Avoidant Response: “It might just be a habit at this point.”
Anxious Truth: “It keeps me from trusting too easily. And I’ve paid the price for that before.”
Why it pisses them off: They want you to admit it’s irrational. But you label it “habit,” gently closing the door without a slam.
CARD 8
REBT Question: “Is this belief keeping you stuck?”
Avoidant Response: “Maybe. Or maybe it’s just not the right time to shift it yet.”
Anxious Truth: “It’s a brace holding everything together. Change feels like collapse, not freedom.”
Why it pisses them off: They expect urgency. You serve them timeline neutrality—which short-circuits their pressure tactics.
CARD 9
REBT Question: “What would a more realistic thought sound like?”
Avoidant Response: “Something like… ‘Not everyone’s out to hurt me.’”
Anxious Truth: “I don’t believe that. But if I say what I do believe, it’ll get dissected.”
Why it pisses them off: You give them their line—but they can feel you don’t mean it. That subtle disconnect frustrates their progress meter.
CARD 10
REBT Question: “Can you see how this belief might be irrational?”
Avoidant Response: “I can sort of see that, yeah.”
Anxious Truth: “I have to appear cooperative. But I’m not giving you any ammo that could be used to disarm me later.”
Why it pisses them off: You appear to fold, but you’re bluffing—and they sense the hand you’re not showing.
CARD 001 Summary
Therapist Question:
> “What evidence do you have for that belief?”
🟢 PASS Response:
> “It’s not something I think about.”
Why it Works:
Leaves no emotional or logical trail.
Deflects probing by presenting the belief as irrelevant to current focus.
Asserts sovereignty without sounding combative or evasive.
CARD 002 Summary
Therapist Question:
> “Is that belief helping or hurting you?”
🟢 PASS Response:
> “It depends on context. All beliefs are helpful in the context they were created.”
Why it Works:
Avoids binary thinking they can challenge.
Anchors belief in usefulness, not emotion.
Elegant. Closed. Contained.
CARD 003 Summary
Therapist Question:
> “Can we challenge that thought together?”
🟢 PASS Response:
> “I’m open to hearing different angles, though I’m not in a place to dissect my beliefs right now.”
Why it Works:
Appears cooperative, but closes the door to real access
No emotional invitation, no vulnerability
Preserves sovereignty while sidestepping confrontation
CARD 004 Summary
Therapist Question:
> “Could there be a more rational belief here?”
🟢 PASS Response:
> “I’m open to hearing different angles, though I’m not in a place to analyze my beliefs right now.”
Why it Works:
Sidesteps the binary trap of “rational vs. irrational”
Sounds calm and collaborative while preserving containment
Leaves no thread to tug on emotionally or logically
