avoidant Flashcards
You seem avoidant…
I prefer to process internally. Depth doesn’t require display.
They equate depth with expression. You just redefined it as silence. Now their model short-circuits.
It’s okay to be vulnerable.
Not holding back. Just not leaking.
They mistake composure for fear. You framed it as containment. They have no ‘breakthrough’ to pursue.
You’re resisting connection.
I value spaciousness. Closeness isn’t the goal—clarity is.
They’re wired to pathologize space as fear. You made it sound like peace.
That sounds like emotional avoidance.
Or maybe it’s discernment. I don’t rush into spaces that haven’t earned trust.
Avoidance is supposed to be reflexive and maladaptive. You reframed it as wise boundaries.
You don’t open up easily.
Openness isn’t a virtue in every context. I open precisely, not broadly.
You challenged the moral high ground of “openness.” You made restraint sound elite.
Let’s explore what you’re avoiding.
Nothing. I’m just oriented inward by nature.
They’re trained to dig. You calmly said: there’s no hole to start with.
Are you afraid of being close to people?
Not fear. Selectivity.
They expect a wound. You offered design.
We grow through relationship.
Some healing happens in silence, too. Not all growth is witnessed.
Their whole model is interpersonal. You just rewrote the map in solitude.
Would you be willing to lean in more?
I’m fully here. Just not in the way you’re used to.
They’re trying to change your style. You claimed full presence on your own terms.
That’s a trauma response.
Or it’s just who I am—refined by experience, not defined by it.
They want to undo your avoidance. You said: I chose this.
CARD 1: “Can you tell me about your family?”
Avoidant Response:
“Nothing too unusual. We all have our own paths now. I focus on what’s ahead.”
Why it pisses them off:
They wanted trauma. You gave them a calendar quote.
CARD 2: “What emotions came up around that?”
Avoidant Response:
“It was interesting to notice how my body responded more than anything else. I stayed observant.”
Why it pisses them off:
You substituted ‘feeling’ with ‘noticing’. Now they’re chasing a shadow with a thermometer.
CARD 3: “How has your past affected your relationships?”
Avoidant Response:
“I’ve had a chance to learn what works for me and what doesn’t. It’s been an insightful process.”
Why it pisses them off:
No details, no vulnerability—just a TED Talk in sentence form. They’re holding a scalpel and you brought Teflon.
CARD 4: “Do you think your coping mechanisms are healthy?”
Avoidant Response:
“They’ve worked for me during different chapters. I’m exploring which ones still serve.”
Why it pisses them off:
They want to label your behavior. You turned it into a memoir.
CARD 5: “Have you ever felt abandoned?”
Avoidant Response:
“Abandonment’s a strong word. People show up in the ways they know how.”
Why it pisses them off:
You dodged the emotional landmine with philosophical dodgeball.
CARD 6: “What do you want to get out of this treatment?”
Avoidant Response:
“A sense of clarity. I’m open to what unfolds.”
Why it pisses them off:
You handed them a cloud. They were hoping for coordinates.
CARD 7: “Do you consider yourself emotionally available?”
Avoidant Response:
“I value depth, but I pace it intentionally.”
Why it pisses them off:
You made avoidant behavior sound like luxury branding.
CARD 8: “Have you ever been in love?”
Avoidant Response:
“There’ve been meaningful connections, sure.”
Why it pisses them off:
They were fishing for intimacy. You gave them LinkedIn.
CARD 9: “What do you fear most in relationships?”
Avoidant Response:
“I think mutual understanding is rare. That can be a challenge sometimes.”
Why it pisses them off:
You disguised fear as philosophical commentary—too smooth to stick a pin in.
CARD 10: “Why do you think you’re here?”
Avoidant Response:
“I see this as an opportunity to step back and reflect. I’m treating it like a reset.”
Why it pisses them off:
You reframed mandated participation into a wellness retreat. Now they don’t know whether to trust you or assign homework.
CARD 11: “What was your childhood like?”
Avoidant Response:
“Pretty standard, I think. Nothing stands out too much.”
Why it pisses them off:
They’re waiting for the wound. You gave them static.
CARD 12: “Did anyone ever let you down?”
Avoidant Response:
“Everyone’s human. I try not to hold people to impossible standards.”
Why it pisses them off:
You just blocked the doorway to resentment and framed it as grace. No entry.
CARD 13: “How do you handle conflict?”
Avoidant Response:
“I prefer calm conversations and taking time to think before reacting.”
Why it pisses them off:
They were hoping you’d name a blow-up. Instead, you served corporate training brochure energy.
CARD 14: “When was the last time you cried?”
Avoidant Response:
“Hm. I process internally, so I usually reflect instead of react outwardly.”
Why it pisses them off:
No timestamp. No tears. Just an elegant spiral staircase leading away from the scene.
