personality and relationships

Question 1

Attraction similarities theory

Answer 1

Were attracted to people like us

Assortative mating

Question 2

Complementary needs theory

Answer 2

Were attracted to people whose personality complement ours

opposites attract

Question 3

What people want:

Answer 3

People believe they want someone similar to them(pos correlation)

Women want someone more similar to them than men

Question 4

What people get: actual correlation between partner’s personalities

Answer 4

All positive correlation, no support for complementary needs theory(some weak evidence for assortative mating)

Intelligence being the highest( not a very strong correlation, but still positive)

Question 5

Another explanation for low similarity

Answer 5

**Many studies show little personality similarity between partners
**
**But, self-reported personality may be biased due to reference group effect
**
When judging our own personality, we compare ourselves to people we spend time with
These people tend to be like us
So we exaggerate small differences

As a result, our self-rated personality may seem more different from our partner’s than is accurate

Question 6

How to deal with reference group effect

Answer 6

measure presoanlity with behavior instead of self report

avoids reference group problem

Question 7

Behavior on social media (facebook) can be used to measure personality

Answer 7

Likes and words in posts predict big 6 traits

People who like curly fries are more likely to be intelligent

People who like hello kitty are higher in O and N, and lower in C and A

Question 8

Measuring partner similarity with facebook behavior

Answer 8

**People do end up in relationships with people that are similar to them
**
Using like, avg similarity between partners was r=.24

Using language in posts, avg similarity between partners was r=.38

Using self-report, avg similarity between partners was r=.10

Question 9

Is similarity related to relationship satisfaction

Answer 9

Couples with similar personality traits are not necessarily more satisfied in their relationship

Question 10

what makes a satisfying relationship?

Answer 10

But, if partner is similar to your “ideal personality” then relationship satisfaction is higher

Question 11

What do people want in a partner?

Answer 11

Males and females want mutual attractiveness, dependable, emotional stability, pleasing disposition

Less important: similar religious background, similar political background, and chastity

Question 12

Traits that predict(heteronormative) partner’s satisfaction

Answer 12

Overall:
Husband want: A, ES(emotional stability), O/I (in wife)

Wife want: A,C,ES,O/I (in husband)

Question 13

Confide:

Answer 13

Husband are able to confide if: A(in wife)

Wife: A, ES, O/I (in husband)

Question 14

Sexual

Answer 14

Husband: A, C, ES
Wife: A

Question 15

Enjoyment

Answer 15

husband and wife: A, ES

Question 16

Which traits predict future relationship quality and conflict

Answer 16

Positive emotionality (PEM): confidence, enthusiasm, social warmth, well-being, and zest

Negative emotionality (NEM): Threshold for negative emotions such as anxiety,fear, and anger

Constraint(CON): Self control, harm avoidance, and endorsement of social norms

Question 17

How does age 18 personality (PEM,NEM)
and constraint relate to age 26 relationship variables

Answer 17

People with neg emotionality at age 18 lead to less quality of relationship and more conflict

Question 18

How does happiness relate to opposite sex attractiveness

Answer 18

Happiness is the most attractive emotion for men(men looking at women)

Happiness is the least attractive emotion for women (women looking at men)

Question 19

Pride

Answer 19

Pride is the most attractive male emotion expression and one of the least attractive when shown by women

Question 20

Shame

Answer 20

Shame is attractive when shown by both genders

Question 21

Expression of emotions in relationships:
Newlywed couples engaged in conflict discussion while videotaped

Answer 21

videotapes coded for emotional response (o-data)

physiological measure (t-data)

couples rate partner’s relationship satsifaction (informant data) and own satisfaction (self-data)

Couples followed up 5 years later and Divorce was predicted from data with 83% accuracy

Question 22

4 main factors that predict divorce

Answer 22

1)criticism vs complaint
2)contempt
3)defensiveness
4)stonewalling

Question 23

critisicism vs complaint

Answer 23

Criticism: global statement of anger, displeasure, distress, or other negativity tends to be blaming(You never take me anywhere)

Complaint: specific statement of anger, displeasure, distress, or other negativity(we dont go out as often)

criticism but not compaint predicts divorce

Question 24

Escalation of negative affect is very bad

Answer 24

Deescalation of negative affect through humor is good

Question 25

2)contempt

Answer 25

insult, mockery, sarcasm, derision of the other person

Includes disapproval, judgement, disdain, exasperation, mockery, put downs

Question 26

defensiveness

Answer 26

Attempt to protect one’s self from perceived attack

May include denial of responsibility, counter blame,
May be a response to mindreading
* Attribution of motives, feelings, or behavior made by one partner to the other partner
*Example: “you always get tense in situations like this.” “No I dont, You are always the one…”

Question 27

stonewalling

Answer 27

No small vocalization like “yeah” or mmmm

Question 28

What distinguishes satisfied and dissatisfied couples is not how frequently they conflict, but they way in which neg feelings are expressed during conflicts

Answer 28

Disagreements not more common among dissatisfied couples, but dissatisfied couples more likely to express disagreement with neg affect

Question 29

what ratio of pos to neg interactions is characteristic of a good marriage

Answer 29

A 5:1 ratio of pos interactions to neg interactions is characteristic of a good marriage

• One neg interaction can wipe out the effects of 4 pos interactions

Question 30

Neg emotions are associated with high levels of physiological arousal for men, but not for women

Answer 30

• Men may avoid neg affect in relationships because its more physiologically punishing
• Emotionally, men experience lower levels of negative affect than women