Lvl 2 Mod 8

Question 1

Why is providing a missing experience in the context of the therapuetic relationship so potent?

Answer 1

The client has a longing for this ever since it went missing originally

Question 2

What are the missing experiences associated with holding in and how early can this wound occur?

Answer 2

safety, being welcome, treated kindly In utero

Question 3

What are the missing experiences associated with spreading out and how early can this wound occur?

Answer 3

Being able to count on others Birth to 3 months, or death later on

Question 4

What are the missing experiences associated with pliant collapse and how early can this wound occur?

Answer 4

gratitude, being cared for, abundance 8 months

Question 5

What are the missing experiences associated with sealing off and how early can this wound occur?

Answer 5

receiving and taking in support 8 months

Question 6

What are the missing experiences associated with inflated posture and how early can this wound occur?

Answer 6

Being treated as a real person, being respected toddler

Question 7

What are the missing experiences associated with fluid motion and how early can this wound occur?

Answer 7

Support for what one wants toddler

Question 8

What are the missing experiences associated with Compressing down and how early can this wound occur?

Answer 8

no pressure, doing what you want 2 years

Question 9

What are the missing experiences associated with insistent seeking and how early can this wound occur?

Answer 9

not to have to struggle for attention 3-4 years

Question 10

What are the missing experiences associated with kinetic action and how early can this wound occur?

Answer 10

to be loved for who you are, to relax - 4-5 years

Question 11

When is it important to go with missing experiences that promote interpersonal regulation?

Answer 11

Client doesn’t have internalization of secure attachment figure Client doesn’t have a template for genuine intimacy Client doesn’t yet have the skill to do this self-regulatory

Question 12

When is it important to go with missing experiences that promote self-regulation? When would you not promote self-regulation?

Answer 12

For clients that overly use interactive regulation and haven’t internalized skills themselvesDo not use if the client doesn’t have a compassionate adult within

Question 13

What three fundamental messages do we want to send when working with wounded child states?

Answer 13

I see you I get you I can hold you

Question 14

Three other important relational developmental experiences

Answer 14

Be included Be stimulated via relationships Be affirmed for strength

Question 15

If we’re at the end of session and need to quickly ground them, what can we do?

Answer 15

Exaggerate posture and then do the opposite of it

Question 16

What are the three levels of developmental work?

Answer 16

Current issue
Befriending strategy
Going to the child state/mapmaker

Question 17

What two things to check if the client is having difficulty being in the body?

Answer 17

Check if I’m being presnet and mindful in all three core organizers
If that doesn’t work, then suspect trauma is causing it to be unsafe in the body

Question 18

When we’re getting a client familiar with body awareness, do we want to start with extremeties or core?

Answer 18

Start with extremeties and work to core. Bring mindfulness. Core is the “scariest”

Question 19

What are the three levels of experience we can provide missing experiences on? For each of those, what are some examples

Answer 19

Cognitive : Provide help with meaning-making to the Child State through Language
Emotional: provide missing emotional regulation to the child state by having them see/feel acceptance through tone, prosody, eye contact, facial expression
Sensorimotor: provide soothing and containment to the Child State through relational gesture, movement, self-touch communication

Question 20

How can compressing down show up in therapy?

Answer 20

Compressing down can show up in therapy as “Yes but” that can be tiring

Question 21

What three physical experiments can be good for compressing down?

Answer 21

Physical takeover
Play
Jumping

Question 22

3 key points of dealing with disrespect that comes from a client in inflated posture?

Answer 22

Must find a level of respect where we are working together with inflated posture.
Find a way of communicating that you are not going to let them put you down.
Don’t try to inflate with them as that will result in escalating power struggle.

Question 23

4 key points of working with clients in pliant collapse

Answer 23

Physical support midback
Ensure client takes things in and coach them so they can do it for themselves
Recognize that clients are very smart about getting others to do things for them
Building musculature is very important for these clients

Question 24

2 Key points of working with sealing off

Answer 24

Recognize internal messages of it’s wrong/bad/shameful to take in support and I can do it myself cause I’m very self-reliant
Encourage them to give themselves a break and let you do the work

Question 25

3 key points to working with fluid motion

Answer 25

1. Non-shaming when they’re lying/playing/not being direct
2. Encourage them to tell you what they really want - how about you tell me “I like X” - “I want to X” -
3. Set boundaries for them so they can learn to set them for themselves. E.g. It’s not ok with me that you did that, that you almost hurt yourself.

Question 26

4 key points about working with spreading out

Answer 26

1. Make sure they know you get them.
2. Education that it’s important to distinguish between the strategy’s emotion and the core self.
3. Validate the feelings and study how the strategy makes the emotion more intense (and thus increases their own pain)
4. How do you think this impacts other people? Check it out with me – the therapist then tells a story once and then again they make it bigger. If the client has the experience, then it’s better rather than telling them.

Question 27

1 key point about working with kinetic action

Answer 27

how about we play with making mistakes

Question 28

Is it possible that some developmental injuries don’t heal without touch.

Answer 28

Yes. If touch is not possible, sometimes eye contact is helpful.

Question 29

When a client tells you an awful story about their past, what’s something you can say to get them curious to study present moment core organizers?

Answer 29

Validate feelings and invited them to study the “me” they made out of that experience - we can do something with that today

Question 30

In what situations is the magical stranger used and in what phase of the process (framing, accessing, etc.) and with information does the therapist need to have in mind beforehand?

Answer 30

Used when the missing experience is not landing.
Magical stranger happens during transformation
Use when you are clear on the child’s confusion and have a sense of what was missing at the critical moment:

Question 31

Magical Stranger (6 steps)

Answer 31

Let them know you’re going to say something directly to the child
ensure they can sense the child and find out how the client sense the child (Core Organizer)
Obtain permission from the child
ask the client to let you know when they are ready
Prime attention for the new information (e.g. “Notice what happens when the child hears these words, ….pause…… )
Delivery — I don’t know why _______, happened/didn’t happen, but I do know…

Question 32

2 categories of things that the magical stranger can say “I do know that ….” and then 3 examples

Answer 32

• Name the rights and entitlements of the child
• Contact universal need and deserving nature of children
all children need to feel special to someone
all children need to be protected when they are being terrorized
all little girls have the right to feel safe at home

Question 33

3 key functions of boundaries

Answer 33

1. Contain - capacity to tolerate various internal states
2. Protect - safeguard self from harm
3. Screen - select stimuli that are appropriate to take in and keep out what is not appropriate

Question 34

Two types of boundaries

Answer 34

Physical - how close/distant to be and if/when/how one is touched
Process - enable one to differentiate one’s own thoughts, opinions, emotions and behavior from other people

Question 35

7 items that can be tracked/bodyread to better understand client’s boundary styles

Answer 35

Client’s physical interactions with you
Muscular tension patterns
Gestures
Postural patterns
Use of objects, pillows, coat, bag
Proximity and Distance
Eye contact

Question 36

What can we do to confirm a client with poor boundaries means yes when they say yes

Answer 36

Ask them how do they know

Question 37

3 narrative indicators of boundary

Answer 37

• Do they leave space for you or does their narrative set a
boundary by never pausing
• What they say and what they leave out
• Descriptions of how they interact with others

Question 38

How can childhood neglect result in overly porous boundaries?

Answer 38

They feel so much need for connection that they take in other people’s bad stuff

Question 39

What 3 adaptive strategies have the most difficulty with others setting boundaries and why?

Answer 39

Insistent seeking, pliant collapse and spreading out strategies have difficulty with boundaries because it means they need to be OK on their own for a period

Question 40

4 Different Boundary Practice Exercises that a client can do without therapist/object getting involved

Answer 40

1. Press back against the wall and study the sensations associated with awareness of the back and spine
2. Invite client to make and energetic boundary around them and study the somatic effect of “drawing. Then deepen the awareness of its effects or savor using steps-to-mindfulness
3. Practice the “Stop” gesture of putting up the arms and hands. Experiment with the arms further from or closer to the body.
4. Practice a pushing away gesture with the arms and hands. Notice the difference with different kinds of pushing. Try with or without eye contact, with arms straight or close in to the body, with or without resistance.

Question 41

Boundary activity that involves the therapist (not the one with pushing) - 3 steps

Answer 41

1. Experiment with having the client create a boundary with hands, string, etc.
2. Therapist controls distance: have client study the somatic responses to therapist taking step away or a step towards. Ask how does the body tell client that someone is too close or too far away?
3. Client controls distance: They say “stop” or says, “come closer” with words with gestures. Or they move themselves.

Question 42

Boundary activity that involves an object representing a person - general description + 4 ways to explore/play

Answer 42

Select an object representing significant relationship in a
challenging mood,
1. Adjust proximity and Distance
2. Experiment with creating a safe space either with physical objects or imagination
3. Experiment with Boundary sign - Sign-to-self, Sign-to-other
4. Explore Negative/self limiting beliefs - see other card for more details

Question 43

Boundary experiment that involves self-limiting or negative self-beliefs or beliefs that aren’t theirs (7 steps)

Answer 43

1. Client creates a boundary with physical object or imagination
2. Study how this feels to be inside (what lets you know in your body that this is right?)
3. Prompt client to identify negative or self-limiting beliefs or things that don’t belong to them
4. Representing those beliefs as objects/notes on paper and put them in the place they feel it occupies
5. Client puts the object outisde the boundary - how do they want to get it out? Is there something they want to say?
6. Do the sign facing outwards and sign facing inwards - write it on paper
7. Keep the boundary sign and destroy the limiting belief notes

Question 44

What is a completion pattern, what is their function and what are they reflective of?

Answer 44

How one organizes when faced with an ending or
loss (e.g., end of the course, therapeutic relationship,
graduation, relationship, job)
Completion patterns help manage emotions and
thoughts about endings and are evident in action
patterns, relational behaviors, beliefs
Reflective of mental models built in childhood of
how to end or meet loss

Question 45

What are four common completion patterns?

Answer 45

Prolonging the end: wanting more, continuing somehow –
reunions, starting another group
Focusing on what’s still left to do: about what didn’t get to happen yet
Focusing on something else: getting involved in other things,
losing interest, withdrawing before the end
Emotional Expression: anger, fear, humor, relief

Question 46

What are 4 key elements of working with completion patterns?

Answer 46

• Track for reemerging adaptive strategies at completion
• Make explicit the emerging completion pattern (and
related adaptive strategy)
• Explore the pattern.
• How does the old pattern manage emotions, meaning, and
impact expectations?
Is the pattern useful for this ending?
• If old completion pattern isn’t useful for this ending, frame and explore a new or different way to process this ending.