Lecture 10: Chapter 12: Attractions, Relationships & Love Flashcards
1
Q
What is the best predictor of a break up?
A
Frustration and dissatisfaction
2
Q
What does it mean to externally attribute a break up?
A
End of the relationship is the partner’s fault and it’s related to coping after a break up
3
Q
Why do people get into relationships?
A
To fulfill needs for connectedness (social support –> general physical and social health benefits) and mastery
4
Q
What are 3 challenges in research on attraction, relationships and love?
A
- Often no experimental design possible –> no causal relations
- Most research focused on attachments between heterosexuals in individualist (WEIRD society) countries
- Most research on romantic relationships, not friendship/family
5
Q
What does WEIRD society stand for?
A
White
Educated
Industrialized
Rich
Democratic
6
Q
What are cross cultural differences and similarities concerning attraction?
A
Different: what is seen as attractive differs over time/culture
Similar: the influence of attraction is similar cross culturally
7
Q
Which types of features are considered attractive cross culturally? Which types of features vary?
A
Signs of genetic health and access to resources
Other features are more dependent on experience, exposure and expectation
8
Q
What is the difference between the heuristics:
A: What is beautiful is good
B: What is good is beautiful
C: We make what is beautiful good?
A
A: associate other desirable characteristics with physical attraction
B: people we judge more positively are more attractive
C: self fulfilling prophecy
9
Q
Why is physical attractiveness so often used as a heuristic?
A
Because it’s immediately visible and can quickly guide our behavior
10
Q
What 2 aspects make faces more attractive? And why?
A
- Symmetrical: signals good health, was evolutionary important
- More average/prototypical
11
Q
Which characteristic is most important for men/women for committed relationships?
A
Agreeableness as a personality trait
12
Q
How does research in speed dating paradigms work?
A
It examines relationship processes over time.
Researchers measure people’s impressions of a potential partner at their first date and follow them over time to see what factors predict a romantic spark
13
Q
Why is greater physical symmetry seen as more attractive? How does it vary cross culturally?
A
During evolution, asymmetrical bodies indicated some kind of disease/injury/damaged genes.
Through natural selection, everyone became more symmetrical
In a country with more diseases, symmetrical faces (Africa) are perceived even more attractive than when there are less diseases (UK)
14
Q
What are 2 good predictors of attractiveness in women? Why?
A
Low BMI and waist to hip ratio
–> Would signal reproductive potential
15
Q
What are 3 predictors of attractiveness in men? Why?
A
- V-shaped upper body
- No protruding belly
- Low BMI
Would signal the ability to acquire and retain resources
16
Q
What is the relation between socioeconomic status (SES) and attraction?
A
Globalized preference for thinness, except among individuals from low SES regions
17
Q
What is the direction of the relationship between liking and thinking someone is attractive?
A
If we find someone attractive, we like them
If we like someone, we find them more attractive
So it goes in both directions!
18
Q
Give an example of a temporary affective state.
A
- Hungry men have a preference for heavier women
- If primed with diseases, stronger preference for symmetrical faces
19
Q
Which men have a stronger preference for women with an hourglass figure?
A
Those with a more traditional view of gender roles
20
Q
What are 3 aspects of physical similarity
A
- Preference for similarity in attractiveness
- Similarity speech patterns predicts attraction
- Preference for faces that look like own face
21
Q
Why does similarity increase attraction and liking? Give 4 reasons
A
- Similarity signals who is me/mine: we view our own characteristics as desirable
- Similarity signals familiarity: familiarity increases attractiveness
- Similarity contributes to mastery: easier to interact with, because people share more of our interests
- Similarity validates connectedness: sense of connection with people that share our values etc.
22
Q
How does similarity make sure it’s more likely to have positive interactions? Give 2 reasons
A
- Mimicry is more likely: makes interactions often easier
- Similarity is predictor of cooperation, trust and helping increasing the rewards of interaction with similar others
23
Q
People feel more attracted to people that they have positive interactions with. Why? Give 3 reasons
A
- Interaction makes others more familiar
- Interaction help us meet needs and is rewarding (mastery)
- Interaction makes us feel more connected
24
Q
Which 3 factors influence each other and can move acquaintanceship toward friendship?
A
- Similarity
- Interaction
- Perceived physical attractiveness
25
What is some evidence for physical proximity promoting frequent interaction? What conclusion can we make from that finding?
Residents in a student housing complex had more friendships with people that lived near one another, even if they didn't initially share characteristics that lead to attraction
Conclusion: bringing people physically together often leads to friendships
26
What is the explanation that students who live close to the stairwell or mailbox have more friends?
They have more friends, because they interact with others more frequently
27
How does positive social interaction help with needs for mastery?
It meets the needs for mastery through social comparison and sharing enjoyable activities
28
What do we mean with similarity is limited by variety?
The larger & more diverse a group of available people, the more similar your friends
29
What turns acquaintances into friends and partners? (2)
1. Need to master the environment
2. Need for connectedness
30
In what way is reciprocity important in attraction?
1. We like people more who like us too
2. Depends on selectivity: so the person who shows interest in me, doesn't do that to many others
31
What are 2 psychological determinants for mutual liking?
1. Reciprocity
2. Incidental factors
32
What is meant with incidental factors concerning attraction?
Association between generated arousal or affect to interaction partner
33
What is the sexual strategies theory? For what offers it an explanation?
Preference of men to reproduce as much as possible, whereas women can only be pregnant once at a time
So men would benefit from a need for different partners, faster transition to sexual contact and an active search for sexual partners
Explanation for men having sex more frequently and with wider variety of partners and start at younger age
34
Why is the sexual strategies theory not very convincing for the explanation for why males have more sex with different people?
Sex differences disappear or are in the opposite direction if a bogus pipe line procedure (fake lie detection test) is used
Explanation: sexual double standard instead of evolutionary
35
What is a sexual double standard?
Judging men and women differently for the same sexual behavior
36
What are 3 aspects to online dating?
1. Anonymity/invisibility
2. Asynchronicity/more control
3. High availability of potential partners
37
What impact does anonymity/invisibility have on online dating? Name 4 aspects
1. People are more self-aware
2. Interaction is less informative
3. Online disinhibition: more extreme +/- behavior
4. More (superficial) self-disclosure
38
What is asynchornicity and how does it contribute to online dating? Name 2 aspects
1. More control over self-presentation
2. More idealization of other
39
How can high availability in potential partners online backfire? (2)
1. It can lead to the paradox of choice aka choice stress
2. Evaluating many dating profiles stimulates a mindset that hinders smooth interaction in a first social interaction
40
In what 3 ways does availability contribute to online dating?
1. High availability potential partners
2. Availability of info of potential partners
3. Data & matching algorithms
41
What is the difference between a deliberation/assessment mindset and a implementation mindset?
Deliberation/assessment = more concerned with evaluating different options
Implementation = more concerned with the effective and enjoyable pursuit of important goals
42
Evaluating many dating profiles stimulates a mindset hinders smooth interaction in a first social interaction. What type of mindset is this?
Deliberation or assessment mindset
43
How can algorithms help with matching in online dating? What does it miss?
It helps with filtering persons with relationship-unfriendly properties
But, sponaneous affective responses with direct contact doesn't always correspond with own formulated preferences, so it can't really predict
44
What are 4 benefits of online dating and 5 disadvantages?
+:
- More info
- Less effort, less risk
- More control
- Less uncertainty (there is a potential partner)
-:
- Choice stress
- Idealization
- Mindset effect
- Less commitment
- More uncertainty (about interest partner)
45
What are the 3 benefits and 4 disadvantages of smartphones in a relationship?
+:
- More contact during absence
- Online routine/social ID
- Better sex
-:
- Worse FtF contact
- Jealousy
- New types of dysfunctional behavior
- Permanent presence after break up
46
What does Kelley's social exchange theory say?
It suggests that for a relationship to work, partners need to work towards maximizing the rewards of a relationship and minimizing the costs of it
There is also comparison with the ideal relationship (what do you expect to get out of it) and alternatives (what can you have with others)
47
What is the equity theory?
For a relationship to work, both partners need to be fair to each other and align their investments with their returns
--> Based more on reciprocity in an interaction
48
What is the robust investment model?
Commitment is the extent to which someone sees the relationship as a long-term bond
This predicts relationship stability
49
What is an exchange relationship?
A relationship that is organized in people offering rewards to receive benefits in return
E.g. you help me with tutoring, I will cook you dinner
50
What is an equity-based exchange? In which types of relationships is this most common?
People are given rewards based on how much they contribute to the relationship
--> People only contribute if they think they deserve it and careful track is kept of the benefits to the self
This occurs in casual acquaintances
51
What are 2 important subsequent steps in relationship development?
1. Exchange relationship
2. Self-disclosure
52
What is self-disclosure and what is the consequence of it? Are there gender and/or cultural differences?
It's the exchange of information between partners
It increases liking and promotes closeness
Gender: women self-disclose a lot more
Culture: individualists self-disclose more than collectivists
53
What is the link between self-disclosure and reciprocity?
If someone self-discloses, the norm of reciprocity prescribes that they should respond with something else as well
E.g. you tell a sad story from your life and the other person exchanges similar events from his own life. This makes both giver and receiver like the other
54
What is a close relationship?
A relationship involving strong and frequent interdependence in many domains of life
55
What is love?
Thoughts, feelings and actions that occur when a person wishes to enter or maintain a close relationship with a specific person
56
Which 3 forms of interdependence are involved in close relationships?
1. Cognitive
2. Behavioral
3. Affective
57
What is cognitive interdependence in a relationship?
Thinking about the self and partner as inextricably linked parts of a whole rather than separate individuals
Partner knowledge becomes self-knowledge and we start to make attributions about our partners as if they were us
58
According to rusbult's commitment investment model:
1. What are 3 aspects of satisfaction
2. Which 3 aspects lead to commitment?
3. What does commitment lead to?
1. Rewards - costs - comparison level
2. Satisfaction - investment in relationship - quality of alternatives
3. Commitment leads to stability
59
What are 3 self-other differences that melt away in close relationships?
1. Each partner has the sense that they know just what their partner is thinking
2. Each partner learns about almost every aspect of the other person's life
3. Self disclosure allows each partner to share the other person's perspective and to know the reasons behind the other person's behavior/preferences
60
How do self-serving biases work when in a close relationship?
When the other becomes part of the self, the same self-serving biases apply to the partner. We start to make attributions about our partners as if they were us
61
What is a communal relationship? Which type of interdependence fits with this?
A relationship in which people reward their partner out of direct concern and to show caring rather than to receive benefits in exchange
Behavioral interdependence
62
What is behavioral interdependence?
People don't only provide benefits to partner so they receive smth in return, but they also do this simply for the benefit of the other person
It includes taking into consideration the needs/preferences of the other person, apart from your own, before acting
63
What is affective interdependence?
The feelings of one partner depend strongly on the action and feelings of the other
64
What is intimacy?
A positive emotional bond that includes understanding and support.
It's key in close relationships
65
What is commitment?
A dedication to maintaining the relationship for the long term. It helps the relationship going
66
What is some evidence of behavioral interdependence?
In a game where you have to divide money between you and someone else, people distribute the money evenly when they believe the other is a close friend. This means they treat a best friend like the self
67
How does intimacy develop?
1. Self-disclosure with reciprocity
2. Self-disclosure with responsiveness (acceptance, acknowledgement)
3. Increased responsiveness (you feel valued/esteemed by your partner's acceptance)
68
What is social support?
Emotional and physical coping resources provided by other people
69
What are 2 important aspects of healthy close relationships?
1. Commitment (long term)
2. Intimacy (closer)
70
What is the reinforcement affect model?
Many people associate the person with contextual factors of a situation.
If there's an interaction between 2 potential partners in an unpleasant environment, unpleasant feelings will be associated with that person, resulting in negative bias
71
What are 3 factors that maintain commitment?
1. Recognition that relationship is rewarding (I feel happy around him)
2. Knowing such rewards aren't offered by alternative relationships
3. Recognizing the barriers that are stopping you from leaving the relationship (we have a lot of mutual friends, who would be in an awkward position if we broke up)
72
What is the actor-observer effect and how does it work in close relationships?
Attributing behavior of others to internal causes and behavior of yourself to external causes
This disappears in close relationships
73
How can the difference in importance of self-disclosure in individualistic cultures compared to collectivistic cultures be explained?
High self disclosure in individualistic cultures --> explained by differences in relational mobility
74
What are attachment styles and which 4 types are there?
Patterns of behavior that people exhibit in their close relationships that differ based on how much people seek intimacy and the extent to which they're scared of abandonment
1. Secure attachment
2. Dismissing attachment
3. Preoccupied attachment
4. Fearful attachment
75
What are the 2 dimensions current researchers think of attachment styles?
1. The extent to which people seek/avoid intimacy
2. The extent to which people are anxious about abandonment
76
What is the secure attachment style?
People seek intimacy and don't have big fear of abandonment
77
What is the dismissing attachment style?
People avoid intimacy and don't have big fear of abandonment
78
What is the preoccupied attachment style?
People seek intimacy and have a big fear of abandonment
79
What is the fearful attachment style?
People fear intimacy and abandonment
80
Which attachment styles tend to seek more support after a stressful situation?
Secure and preoccupied styles
81
Which attachment styles offer less support to their partners? Why?
Dismissing and fearful styles
82
What is romantic love?
It involves sexual feelings, a sense of intense longing for the partner, euphoric feelings of fulfillment and ecstasy when the relationship goes well and anxiety/despair when it doesn't
83
What is companionate love and how does it develop? What are 2 determinants for it?
A friendship-based love with fundamentals of affection, trust and a deep sense of friendship
It develops slow, but it's more sustainable and can form the basis for the development of romantic love
Determinants:
1. Equality + proximity
2. Reciprocal self-disclosure
84
How is romantic love regulated in the brain?
Activation of ventral areas that are also activated during the experience of (dopamine controlled) kicks, such as gambling and cocaine
85
What are cultural differences concerning love?
Non-western countries find love much less important. Many words in Chinese for love carry negative connotations
86
How does positive bias and a decrease in commitment contribute to escalation in a relationship?
Positive bias: dissatisfied partners will attribute negative behavior partner to person and positive outcomes to external circumstances
Commitment decrease is related to decrease in intimacy and satisfaction. This is a negative cycle of conflict
87
What was Simpson's classic study on attachment styles and the responses?
Woman had stressful event (thought she had to go to horror experiment)
Secure/preoccupied women seek more support
Secure/preoccupied men give more support
Other way around for the other styles
88
What is the difference between what men and women look for in romantic partners for long term and short term relationships?
1. Men focus more on appearance, women focus more on traits
2. Men and women both focus more on appearance when looking for short-term relationships
The fact that there are minimal differences for short-term, means it's possible that men more often look for short-term relationships than women
89
What is accommodation in a relationship?
One partner's response to the negative action of the other partner.
It can be constructive or destructive
--> secure style: more constructive
90
What are 4 resources for constructive accommodation?
1. Attachment style: Secure attachment predicts better conflict handling
2. Commitment: It ensures motivation to resolve conflict
3. Idealization: Having idealized vision of partner/relationship makes people more likely to be constructive
4. Beliefs: Having good beliefs about relationships predict better conflict-handling
91
What is the relation between sex and a romantic relationship?
Sex can strengthen a relationship, but it can also be a focus of conflict
92
What is the difference in perceived problems between men and women?
Men: absence of romance/passion
Women: lack of openness/intimacy
93
Give an example of how social norms can create conflict in a relationship
Gender roles have been changing over the years, but there remains a persistent difference in the amount of housekeeping women do relative to men
94
What is loneliness?
Emotion arising from unmet needs for affection and self-validation from a psychologically intimate relationship
