Just want to explore something

Question 1

Fearful-avoidance attachment

Want to love and closeness, but afraid of getting hurt. Can be hot and cold, push-pull in relationships. Caused by past experiences of unreliable caregiving.

Answer 1

Imagine a seesaw, but instead of two people, it’s your desire for closeness and your fear of getting hurt. Fearful-avoidantattachment is like being stuck on that seesaw, where you crave connection( like wanting to lean in) but also terrified of getting so close( so you pull back). It’s a condusing mix of wanting warmth and pushing people away.

1. Trust yourself- understand yourself
2. Challenge negative thoughts
3. Build healthy reltionship
4. Set healthy boundaries
5. Seek profesional help
6. Practice self-compassion
7. Focus on self-care
8. Be patient

Question 2

Why the People We’re Attracted to Don’t Like Us Back
-More often than not, when we’re really attracted to someone but they don’t like us nearly as much in return, it’s because we are in that space of insecurity, neediness, and unworthiness. We feel like we’re not good enough, and we’re nervous about being rejected.

” We can’t really experience love in our lives when we’re bounded by feelings of fears on the inside.”

Answer 2

1. Recognize the nature of your fear ~ then let it go
*What is it that you are most afraid of experiencing when developing a relationship with someone you are attracted to?
To be honest, there are dozens of things that I am afraid of experiencing in relationships, such as worrying about being rejected, cheating, disrespecting, or being abandoned. I have a lot of uncertain fears, right? Therefore, I have some symptoms of anxiety, and I completely know it as well.
* Are you nervous about the relationship eventually failing due to some heartbreaks in the past?**
Yup, definitely. Even though I had no long-term relationships before, I also experienced the lovesick state of love. It was painful and caused some sensitive and heartbreaking pieces in my soul. In general, I have a phobia of loving and being loved. I know that I’m too complicated, but someday I will die and also be reborn with stronger bravery.

• Do you believe that you are not worthy of love?
  Yup, I always feel stuck on this question, and you know the answer is not absolutely positive. Let’s say I’m an emotional girl, and my emotional turmoil is like the ocean. I cannot explain this to you exactly. But one time, I felt like I did not deserve to be loved or to love others. Maybe at that time I was in a situation of insecurity, loneliness, or needlessness. On the other side, I also feel like myself, who extremely needs a person who is a solid place to lean on. In the end, I finally realized that I am that person.

**Do you believe that you are incapable of having a healthy, long, and successful relationship?
Are you terrified of being rejected? Are you simply experiencing being rejected?
**
Are you terrified of being rejected? Are you simply experiencing being rejected?
Yes, absolutely. But I think most people are also terrified of being rejected. And it depends on different elements and factors. It’s just like they have a plethora of hopes and expectations for someone. Continually, they are scared to be disappointed, painful, or hurt. So, in the end, they fall into a dark hole of insecurity.
2. Observe how you act around people who are attracted to you, even if you’re not attracted to them. Do you act more like you?
Speaking of that, let me think. So, when they are attracted to me, there are two kinds of people. The first kind is that they try to draw my attention and make eye contact with me. The second kind is that they are extremely shy and nervous.
If I’m not attracted to them or vice versa, I also feel uncomfortable and shy when I stand in front of them, and I cannot be myself like normal.