Ending #1 (Mrs. Uno) Flashcards
*Lights up
Well, Mrs. Uno, I hate to tell you, but your husband has been murdered.
MRS. UNO
Murdered?
Exactly. But not to worry, because I know exactly who the killer is. And I can prove it.
DAPHNE
Well? Who is it?
*first dramatic pause
I was pausing for dramatic effect. Now everyone quiet. I know exactly who the killer is. And I can prove it.
*Short pause
ISIS
Who is it?
*2nd dramatic pause
Don’t you understand dramatic pauses? I was pausing! I’m going to say in just a second if you will give me a chance to make this theatrical! Now, as I was saying, I know exactly who the killer is.
*Angry pause
Awfully convenient for you to arrive just now, Mrs. Uno?
MRS. UNO
I don’t know what you’re talking about.
Don’t you?
MRS. UNO
What?
*before reveal
You see, I deduced that there must be someone else in the house, someone on the inside. Someone who could be both on the inside and the outside.
ISIS
But what about the Nigerian death texture?
If Mortimer were alive, he would certainly admit to the fact that there are no Nigerian textures on this house. In fact, I know all about Nigerian death textures, as they are applied by the Nigerian death texture beetle, a particular favorite of mine. In order for them to be properly applied, it must be a dry environment. And as you can hear, there is quite a storm going on. Therefore, it was a ruse designed to keep us inside.
DAPHNE
But the doors were locked!
Was the door locked when you tried it, Georg?
DAPHNE
Why didn’t you say anything?
*Because I was trying to figure out what he was up to…
Because I was trying to figure out what he was up to. Mortimer was in on it from the beginning, he let Mrs. Uno into the house, he allowed her to roam free, and when she found out he wanted more money, well… we have a dead butler.
DAPHNE
But why kill her husband?
That’s what I was wondering.
TARRAGON
What? She was going on and on - Besides, that’s what my note says.
*Hands note to BEASLY
“For all that is holy, please, please, please, shoot my wife,” Huh.
TARRAGON
I have all kinds of problems. Well, mystery solved.
*I guess. Well, let’s get…
I guess. Well, let’s get out of here, shall we?
