Ending #8 (Mr. Bilkem) Flashcards
*Lights up
Well, Mrs. Uno, I hate to tell you, but your husband has been murdered.
MRS. UNO
Murdered?
Exactly. But not to worry, because I know exactly who the killer is. And I can prove it.
MRS. UNO
Who is it?
*Who among us…
Who among us had a motive to kill Mr. Uno?
ISIS
Well that wasn’t terribly helpful.
Who didn’t raise their hand?
GENERAL
I can’t! You still have this tiresome gag in my mouth.
*muffled
What was that?
GENERAL
Let me out of here!
*2nd muffled
I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
MRS. UNO
What does any of this have to do with my husband?
*The man who…
The man who killed Mr. Uno did not raise his hand just now. Because he is hiding his motive.
GENERAL
I can’t raise my hand you nincompoop! You’ve got me tied to the chair!
Relax General, it wasn’t you.
CHARLOTTE
It is not French. I should know.
*The only one who could kill a postal worker…
The only one who could kill a postal worker is someone who is employed in a profession even more sinister, a profession so dark and without any merit that only a soulless automation of pure evil would attempt it.
(Pause)
A lawyer.
*Look at Bilkem
TARRAGON
He’s a zombie! Chop off his head and burn his corpse!
The game’s up, Bilkem.
BILKEM
Fine, I admit it, I am a lawyer -
We knew that - the game’s up about Uno.
MRS. UNO
What?
*Just…
Just go with him.
BILKEM
Mortimer found out, so I had to take him down, and I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for -
*Gets shot & dies
You shot him!
TARRAGON
You heard him, he was a zombie.
No he wasn’t!
TARRAGON
Has anyone seen my pills?
*case closed & offer Daphne a ride
Well, I guess the case is closed. Let’s get out of here. I’ll give you a ride home, Daphne.
