Act I Flashcards
MORTIMER
Well, Professor Beasly and Madame Isis. An interesting pairing.
MORTIMER opens door
That’s quite a meteorological phenomenon out there.
ISIS
Can you please stop him from saying things like that? He’s been talking that way ever since he picked me up.
I picked you up? Really? I’ll pick you up again later. How heavy are you?
Hand on chair, leaning
ISIS
I’d rather pick lint out of my bellybutton than talk to you again.
That was a rather pernicious rejoinder.
Sit down
ISIS
What?
I need a beverage.
MORTIMER
Red win spritzer?
MORTIMER produces a beverage
How did you know?
GENERAL
Poor Dung.
Well, I had the same query when I perused the missive we received -
TARRAGON
So where were we?
*After Tarragon rages & takes pills
I was curious about the same subject.
ISIS
Is that the military intelligence that you’re famous for?
I believe we all received a similar letter requesting our presence. Anonymously.
DAPHNE
I really need a place where I can get out of these wet clothes.
I can be of assistance.
Stand up on line
DAPHNE
Could I please borrow a napkin?
*Produce napkin on line
GENERAL
So…
*Get up to follow Daphne
GENERAL
Where are you going?
I was just…going to the lavatory
Stop, embarrassed
GENERAL
Sit.
Sorry.
Sit, annoyed
CHARLOTTE
I mean, dinner is served!
This looks delectable.
Ad lib reactions as Charlotte brings out dessert
DAPHNE
*Coming back from room
Just like Miss Daphne.
DAPHNE
*Right behind
Really, quite delectable. She is one speical little dish, isn’t she?
DAPHNE
*Clears throat
Spectacular calves on her.
DAPHNE
*Sits next to Beasly
Oh.
Mad awkward
ISIS
Do you like pretty things, Mr. Bilkem?
I do.
Sleazy, nodding
TARRAGON
Me too.
*in reference to invitation
As did I.
DAPHNE
Well this is certainly disturbing.
*Before opening files
Do you need someone to hold you?
MORTIMER
Oh wait, wrong instructions. Yeah, there’s a whole bunch of incriminating photos.
What could possibly be in here?
Take deep breath
*Look inside envelope
Oh.
MR. UNO
I already have.
Well no one loves me, so I don’t really mind. Do your worst.
Step forward toward Uno