Chapter 8 Love

Question 1

attitudes toward love have varied on at least four dimensions:

Answer 1

Cultural value - Is love a desirable or undesirable state?

Sexuality - Should love be sexual or nonsexual?

Sexual orientation - Should love involve heterosexual or same-sex partners?

Marital status - Should we love our spouses, or is love reserved for others?

Question 2

triangular theory of love

Answer 2

The first component of love is INTIMACY, which includes the feelings of warmth, understanding, trust, support, and sharing that often characterize loving relationships.

The second component is PASSION, which is characterized by physical arousal and desire, excitement, and need. Pas-sion often takes the form of sexual longing, but any strong emotional need that is satisfied by one’s partner fits this category.

The final ingredient of love is COMMITMENT, which includes feelings of permanence, stability, and the decisions to devote oneself to a relationship and to work to maintain it. Commitment is mainly cognitive in nature, whereas intimacy is emotional and passion is a motive, or drive.

Question 3

nonlove

Answer 3

If intimacy, passion, and commitment are all absent, love does not exist. Instead, you have a casual, superficial, uncommitted relationship between people who are probably just acquaintances, not friends.

Question 4

Liking

Answer 4

Liking occurs when intimacy is high but passion and commitment are very low. Liking occurs in friendships with real closeness and warmth that do not arouse passion or the expectation that you will spend the rest of your life with that person. If a friend does arouse passion or is missed terribly when he or she is gone, the relationship has gone beyond liking and has become something else.

high intimacy, low passion or commitment

Question 5

Infatuation

Answer 5

Strong passion in the absence of intimacy or commitment is infatuation, which is what people experience when they are aroused by others they barely know.

high passion, no intimacy

Question 6

Empty love

Answer 6

Commitment without intimacy or passion is empty love. In Western cultures, this type of love may occur in burned-out relationships in which the warmth and passion have died, and the decision to stay together is the only thing that remains. However, in other cultures in which marriages are arranged, empty love may be the first, rather than final, stage in the spouses’ lives together.

Question 7

romantic love

Answer 7

When high intimacy and passion occur together, people experience romantic love.

combination of liking and infatuation.

Question 8

Companionate love

Answer 8

Intimacy and commitment combine to form love for a close companion, or companionate love but there’s low passion

closeness, communication, and sharing are coupled with substantial investment in the relationship as the partners work to maintain a deep, long-term friendship.

epitomized by a long, happy marriage in which the couple’s youthful passion has gradually died down.

Question 9

Fatuous love

Answer 9

Passion and commitment in the absence of intimacy create a foolish experience called fatuous love. (“Fatuous” means “stupid” and “lack-ing substance.”)

in which two partners marry quickly on the basis of overwhelming passion but don’t know (or necessarily like) each other very well

Question 10

consummate love

Answer 10

when intimacy, passion, and commitment are all present to a substantial degree, people experience “complete,” or consummate, love.

Question 11

passion and intimacy are distinct experiences. true or false?

Answer 11

true

Question 12

lust

Answer 12

the sex drive, regulated by the sex hormones

providing us the motivation to mate with others.

Question 13

attraction

Answer 13

promotes the pursuit of a particular preferred romantic partner

drives pair-bonding by fueling romantic love, which is regulated by the neurotransmitter dopamine in specific regions of the brain that control feelings of reward

Question 14

attachment

Answer 14

a term used here to describe the feelings of comfort, security, and connection to a long-term mate that keep a couple together long enough to protect and sustain their very young children

drives companionate love, which is regulated by the neuropeptide oxytocin.

Question 15

passionate attraction is rooted in two factors:

Answer 15

(1) physiological arousal such as a fast heart beat that is coupled with
(2) the belief that another person is the cause of your arousal

Question 16

adrenaline fuels love. true or false?

Answer 16

true

Question 17

Some of the thoughts that underlie romantic love are apparent in a Love Scale that assesses:

Answer 17

Intimacy: “I feel that I can confide in my partner about virtually anything”

Dependence: “If I could never be with my partner, I would be miserable”

Caring: “I would do almost anything for my partner”

Question 18

If you’re in love with someone, it’s probably partly ____ —you love your partner because of how that person makes you feel—and partly ______; you genuinely care for your partner and will work to satisfy and protect him or her.

Answer 18

selfish

generous

Question 19

self-expansion model suggests …

Answer 19

that love causes our self-concepts to expand and change as our partners bring us new experiences and new roles, and we gradually learn things about ourselves that we didn’t know before

Question 20

Long-lasting, satisfying marriages seem to include a lot of______ love.

Answer 20

companionate

Question 21

dopamine is involved with ____ love which works in reward and pleasure centers of our brains

Answer 21

romantic

Question 22

Oxytocin is involved with ____ love which promotes relaxation and reduces stress. aka “love and cuddle hormone,”

Answer 22

companionate

Question 23

compassionate love

Answer 23

a type of love that com-bines the trust and understanding of intimacy with compassion and caring that involves empathy, selflessness, and sacrifice on behalf of the beloved

involves empathy for others and the benevolent wish to aid those who are in need of help

share the pain or joy that their loved ones experience, and they would rather suffer them-selves than to allow someone close to them to be hurt.

attentive, empathic, and generous

provide their partners more support—and take more pleasure in doing so—than do those who are less compassionate

compassionate love is rooted in more accurate understanding of our partners’ strengths and weaknesses;

Question 24

which love is blind?

Answer 24

romantic

Question 25

6 Styles of loving

Answer 25

Eros has a strong physical component. love at first sight

Ludus treats love as an uncommitted game. different partners

Storge emphasizes friendship

Mania is demanding and possessive

Agape is altruistic, selfless, and dutiful

Pragma is practical and logical

men score higher on ludus than women do, whereas women are more storgic and pragmatic than men

Question 26

Attachment styles and love

Answer 26

Intimacy: secure people are more open and self-disclosing with their partners than insecure people are

Passion: secure people are more satisfied with their sexual interactions with their partners than insecure people are

Commitment: day by day, secure people are more satisfied with, and more committed to, their relationships than insecure people are

Caring and caregiving: secure people provide more effective help and support to their partners than insecure people do

Question 27

Most people mellow with age

Emotions are less intense and generally more positive. true or false?

Answer 27

true

Question 28

men and women are more similar than different when it comes to love. true or false?

Answer 28

true

Question 29

However, ____ are more likely to believe in “love at first sight,” and they want their loves to be passionate

____ are more cautious and selective, and they feel passion more slowly (commitment)

Answer 29

men

women

Question 30

does love last?

Answer 30

no. It doesn’t go on unchanged

Romantic love decreases after people marry

Question 31

the single biggest drop in sexual frequency occurs in a relationship’s ____ year

Answer 31

2nd

Question 32

you should commit yourself only to a lover who is also a good friend. true or false?

Answer 32

true