Chapter 6 Interdependency Flashcards
Interdependency
exists when we need others and they need us in order to obtain valuable interpersonal rewards
social exchange aka interdependence theory
the process in which two people give and take desirable rewards from each other
outcome
describes the net profit or loss a person encounters, all things considered.
outcomes = rewards - costs
rewards
refer to anything within an interaction that is desirable and welcome and that brings enjoyment or fulfillment to the recipient.
costs
punishing, undesirable experiences. They can involve financial expenditures, such as buying drinks for your date, or actual injuries, such as split lips.
Interdependence theory suggests that we evaluate the outcomes we receive with two criteria:
What we expect from our relationships
How well we think we can do without our partner
each of us have a comparison level (CL) which is what?
describes the value of the outcomes that we’ve come to expect and believe that we deserve in our dealings with others.
it’s based on our past experiences
past highly rewarding partnerships are likely to have high CLs,
Just how happy you are depends on the extent to which your outcomes surpass your expec-tations; if your outcomes are considerably higher than your CL, you’ll be very satisfied.
formula for satisfaction or dissatisfaction
Outcomes − CL = Satisfaction or Dissatisfaction
comparison level for alternatives (or CLalt)
to determine whether we could be doing even better somewhere else.
describes the outcomes you’d receive by leaving your current relationship and moving to the best alternative partnership or situation you have available.
our CLalts are also the lowest levels of outcome we will tolerate from our present partners.
our CLalts determine our dependence on our relationships.
idea that our contentment with a relationship is not the major determinant of whether we stay in it or go—is one of interdependence theory’s most interesting insights. in other words …
we won’t leave a relationship unless we see something with better benefits. even if we are in a bad relationship.
investments in a present relationship, the things one would lose if the relationship were to end, are also important influences on one’s decision to stay or go. true or false?
true
The bottom line is that people don’t divorce when they get unhappy; they divorce when ….
one way or the other, their prospects finally seem brighter elsewhere.
formula for Dependence or Independence
Outcomes − CLalt = Dependence or Independence
three key elements of social exchange
people’s outcomes
comparison levels (CLs)
comparison levels for alternatives (CLalts).
healthy stable relationship happens when …
the current outcome is higher than the CL and CL alts.
unhappy but stable relationship happens when…
when current outcome is higher CL alt but lower than CL, They’re getting less than they expect and feel they deserve, but they’re still doing better than they think they can elsewhere.
happy but unstable relationship happens when …
If CL alt is higher than outcome, they are satisfied with their present partners but believe that they have even more attractive outcomes, all things considered, awaiting them somewhere else.
unhappy and unstable relationship happens when …
outcome is less than CL and CL alt
principle of lesser interest
suggests that the partner who depends less on a relationship has more power in that relationship. Or, the person with less to lose by ending a desired partnership gets to call the shots.
studies found that getting married made people happier, but only for a while. true or false?
true
American marriages are less happy than they were 30 years ago, and our higher CLs may be partly responsible. true or false?
true
____ percent of us are likely to be annoyed by a lover or friend on any given day
44
married people are likely to be meaner to each other than to anyone else they know. true or false?
true
compliments vs criticism
bad is stronger than good. the bad has more of an affect on us
In fact, to stay satisfied with a close relationship, we may need to maintain a rewards-to-costs ratio of at least ___ to ___
5 to 1
approach motivation
we pursue pleasure and our motivation for doing something is to feel good, and when we draw near to—or approach—desired experiences, we feel positive emotions such as enthusiasm and excitement.
people who have high approach motivations are generally less lonely and more content
avoidance motivation
That is, we also seek to elude or escape punishment and pain, so we strive to avoid undesired experiences and to reduce negative feelings such as anxiety and fear
Boredom is characterized by…
tedium, disinterest, and a lack of energy, and it occurs when nothing enticing, intriguing, or new is occurring in an intimate relationship
linked to dissatisfaction later
self-expansion model of human motivation
holds that we are attracted to partnerships that expand the range of our interests, skills, and experiences
The key to staying happy, according to the self- expansion model, is to combat boredom by creatively finding ways to continue your personal growth. true or false?
true
relational turbulence
we should expect a period of adjustment and turmoil as new partners become accustomed to their increasing interdependence.
suggests that an unsettled period of adjustment and reevaluation often occurs at moderate levels of intimacy in a developing relationship as the partners learn to coordinate their needs and to accommodate each other
Most of us encounter unanticipated costs, even in good relationships:
Lack of Effort - People may stop working as hard as they once did to be consistently charming
Interdependency Is a Magnifying Glass - Conflict is more consequential and annoyances more aggravating because of the close and frequent contact that comes with intimacy
Access to Weaponry - Intimate partners know our foibles and our secrets, and that gives them the means to hurt us, even unintentionally, in ways others can’t
Unwelcome Surprises - Some surprises are inevitable
Unrealistic Expectations - Don’t assume that having kids will bring you closer together
nature of interdependency
If you value a relationship, you’ll want to keep your partner happy, so that he or she will want to stay with you
Providing rewarding outcomes to your partner, even if it involves effort and sacrifice, can be self-serving if it causes a desirable relationship to continue
In exchange relationships, people …
do favors for others expecting to be repaid by receiving comparable benefits in return.
exchange relationships are typified by superficial, often brief, relatively task-oriented encounters between strangers or acquaintances.
Partners are more content when favors are repaid immediately, and they keep track of each other’s contributions to the relationship
In communal relationships, the partners ….
feel a special concern for the other’s well-being, and they provide favors and support to one another without expecting repayment
people often make small sacrifices on behalf of their partners and do costly favors for each other, but they enjoy higher quality relationships as a result
The partners are more content when favors are not quickly repaid, and they do not keep track of each other’s contributions to the relationship
Equitable Relationships
When equity exists, a relationship is fair:
Each partner gains benefits from the relationship that are proportional to his or her contributions to it
Your outcomes / Your contributions = Your partner’s outcomes / Your partner’s contributions
overbenefited
receiving better outcomes than he or she deserves,
underbenefited
receiving less than he or she should.
being dissatisfied could lead people to think they’re being treated ____
unfairly
commitment
a desire for the relationship to continue and the willingness to work to maintain it.
3 themes to commitment
committed partners expect their relationship to continue.
hold a long-term view, foreseeing a future that involves their partners.
they are psychologically attached to each other so that they are hap-pier when their partners are happy, too.
investment model
when commitment emerges from all of the elements of social exchange that are associated with people’s CLs and CL alt
Satisfaction increases commitment
Alternatives of high quality decrease commitment
Investments in a relationship increase commitment to it
people will wish to remain with their present partners when they’re happy, or when there’s no other desirable place for them to go, or when they won’t leave because it would cost too much
treats commitment as a unitary concept—that is, there’s really only one kind of commitment
The economic assessments involved in the investment model do a very good job of predicting how long relationships will last, whether or not the partners will be faithful to each other, and even whether battered wives will try to escape their abusive husbands. true or false?
true
personal commitment
occurs when people want to continue a relationship because they are attracted to their partners and the relationship is satisfying
constraint commitment
occurs when people feel they have to continue a relationship because it would be too costly for them to leave.
moral commitment
derives from a sense of moral obligation to one’s partner or one’s relationship
commitment promotes accommodation in which …
people refrain from responding to provocation from their partners with similar ire of their own
Accommodating people tolerate destructive behavior from their partners without fighting back; they swallow insults, sarcasm, or selfishness without retaliating.
accommodation often involves a conscious effort to protect the partnership from harm.
Committed people also display greater …
willingness to sacrifice their own self-interests for the good of the relationship
They do things they wouldn’t do if they were on their own, and they do not do things they would have liked to do in order to benefit their partners and their partnerships.
Derogation of tempting alternatives
judging other potential partners as less attractive than they wouldseem if one were unattached
