Chapter 6 Interdependency

Question 1

Interdependency

Answer 1

exists when we need others and they need us in order to obtain valuable interpersonal rewards

Question 2

social exchange aka interdependence theory

Answer 2

the process in which two people give and take desirable rewards from each other

Question 3

outcome

Answer 3

describes the net profit or loss a person encounters, all things considered.

outcomes = rewards - costs

Question 4

rewards

Answer 4

refer to anything within an interaction that is desirable and welcome and that brings enjoyment or fulfillment to the recipient.

Question 5

costs

Answer 5

punishing, undesirable experiences. They can involve financial expenditures, such as buying drinks for your date, or actual injuries, such as split lips.

Question 6

Interdependence theory suggests that we evaluate the outcomes we receive with two criteria:

Answer 6

What we expect from our relationships

How well we think we can do without our partner

Question 7

each of us have a comparison level (CL) which is what?

Answer 7

describes the value of the outcomes that we’ve come to expect and believe that we deserve in our dealings with others.

it’s based on our past experiences

past highly rewarding partnerships are likely to have high CLs,

Just how happy you are depends on the extent to which your outcomes surpass your expec-tations; if your outcomes are considerably higher than your CL, you’ll be very satisfied.

Question 8

formula for satisfaction or dissatisfaction

Answer 8

Outcomes − CL = Satisfaction or Dissatisfaction

Question 9

comparison level for alternatives (or CLalt)

Answer 9

to determine whether we could be doing even better somewhere else.

describes the outcomes you’d receive by leaving your current relationship and moving to the best alternative partnership or situation you have available.

our CLalts are also the lowest levels of outcome we will tolerate from our present partners.

our CLalts determine our dependence on our relationships.

Question 10

idea that our contentment with a relationship is not the major determinant of whether we stay in it or go—is one of interdependence theory’s most interesting insights. in other words …

Answer 10

we won’t leave a relationship unless we see something with better benefits. even if we are in a bad relationship.

Question 11

investments in a present relationship, the things one would lose if the relationship were to end, are also important influences on one’s decision to stay or go. true or false?

Answer 11

true

Question 12

The bottom line is that people don’t divorce when they get unhappy; they divorce when ….

Answer 12

one way or the other, their prospects finally seem brighter elsewhere.

Question 13

formula for Dependence or Independence

Answer 13

Outcomes − CLalt = Dependence or Independence

Question 14

three key elements of social exchange

Answer 14

people’s outcomes
comparison levels (CLs)
comparison levels for alternatives (CLalts).

Question 15

healthy stable relationship happens when …

Answer 15

the current outcome is higher than the CL and CL alts.

Question 16

unhappy but stable relationship happens when…

Answer 16

when current outcome is higher CL alt but lower than CL, They’re getting less than they expect and feel they deserve, but they’re still doing better than they think they can elsewhere.

Question 17

happy but unstable relationship happens when …

Answer 17

If CL alt is higher than outcome, they are satisfied with their present partners but believe that they have even more attractive outcomes, all things considered, awaiting them somewhere else.

Question 18

unhappy and unstable relationship happens when …

Answer 18

outcome is less than CL and CL alt

Question 19

principle of lesser interest

Answer 19

suggests that the partner who depends less on a relationship has more power in that relationship. Or, the person with less to lose by ending a desired partnership gets to call the shots.

Question 20

studies found that getting married made people happier, but only for a while. true or false?

Answer 20

true

Question 21

American marriages are less happy than they were 30 years ago, and our higher CLs may be partly responsible. true or false?

Answer 21

true

Question 22

____ percent of us are likely to be annoyed by a lover or friend on any given day

Answer 22

44

Question 23

married people are likely to be meaner to each other than to anyone else they know. true or false?

Answer 23

true

Question 24

compliments vs criticism

Answer 24

bad is stronger than good. the bad has more of an affect on us

Question 25

In fact, to stay satisfied with a close relationship, we may need to maintain a rewards-to-costs ratio of at least ___ to ___

Answer 25

5 to 1

Question 26

approach motivation

Answer 26

we pursue pleasure and our motivation for doing something is to feel good, and when we draw near to—or approach—desired experiences, we feel positive emotions such as enthusiasm and excitement. people who have high approach motivations are generally less lonely and more content

Question 27

avoidance motivation

Answer 27

That is, we also seek to elude or escape punishment and pain, so we strive to avoid undesired experiences and to reduce negative feelings such as anxiety and fear

Question 28

Boredom is characterized by...

Answer 28

tedium, disinterest, and a lack of energy, and it occurs when nothing enticing, intriguing, or new is occurring in an intimate relationship linked to dissatisfaction later

Question 29

self-expansion model of human motivation

Answer 29

holds that we are attracted to partnerships that expand the range of our interests, skills, and experiences

Question 30

The key to staying happy, according to the self- expansion model, is to combat boredom by creatively finding ways to continue your personal growth. true or false?

Answer 30

true

Question 31

relational turbulence

Answer 31

we should expect a period of adjustment and turmoil as new partners become accustomed to their increasing interdependence. suggests that an unsettled period of adjustment and reevaluation often occurs at moderate levels of intimacy in a developing relationship as the partners learn to coordinate their needs and to accommodate each other

Question 32

Most of us encounter unanticipated costs, even in good relationships:

Answer 32

Lack of Effort - People may stop working as hard as they once did to be consistently charming Interdependency Is a Magnifying Glass - Conflict is more consequential and annoyances more aggravating because of the close and frequent contact that comes with intimacy Access to Weaponry - Intimate partners know our foibles and our secrets, and that gives them the means to hurt us, even unintentionally, in ways others can’t Unwelcome Surprises - Some surprises are inevitable Unrealistic Expectations - Don’t assume that having kids will bring you closer together

Question 33

nature of interdependency

Answer 33

If you value a relationship, you’ll want to keep your partner happy, so that he or she will want to stay with you Providing rewarding outcomes to your partner, even if it involves effort and sacrifice, can be self-serving if it causes a desirable relationship to continue

Question 34

In exchange relationships, people ...

Answer 34

do favors for others expecting to be repaid by receiving comparable benefits in return. exchange relationships are typified by superficial, often brief, relatively task-oriented encounters between strangers or acquaintances. Partners are more content when favors are repaid immediately, and they keep track of each other’s contributions to the relationship

Question 35

In communal relationships, the partners ....

Answer 35

feel a special concern for the other’s well-being, and they provide favors and support to one another without expecting repayment people often make small sacrifices on behalf of their partners and do costly favors for each other, but they enjoy higher quality relationships as a result The partners are more content when favors are not quickly repaid, and they do not keep track of each other’s contributions to the relationship

Question 36

Equitable Relationships

Answer 36

When equity exists, a relationship is fair: Each partner gains benefits from the relationship that are proportional to his or her contributions to it Your outcomes / Your contributions = Your partner’s outcomes / Your partner’s contributions

Question 37

overbenefited

Answer 37

receiving better outcomes than he or she deserves,

Question 38

underbenefited

Answer 38

receiving less than he or she should.

Question 39

being dissatisfied could lead people to think they’re being treated ____

Answer 39

unfairly

Question 40

commitment

Answer 40

a desire for the relationship to continue and the willingness to work to maintain it.

Question 41

3 themes to commitment

Answer 41

committed partners expect their relationship to continue. hold a long-term view, foreseeing a future that involves their partners. they are psychologically attached to each other so that they are hap-pier when their partners are happy, too.

Question 42

investment model

Answer 42

when commitment emerges from all of the elements of social exchange that are associated with people’s CLs and CL alt Satisfaction increases commitment Alternatives of high quality decrease commitment Investments in a relationship increase commitment to it people will wish to remain with their present partners when they’re happy, or when there’s no other desirable place for them to go, or when they won’t leave because it would cost too much treats commitment as a unitary concept—that is, there’s really only one kind of commitment

Question 43

The economic assessments involved in the investment model do a very good job of predicting how long relationships will last, whether or not the partners will be faithful to each other, and even whether battered wives will try to escape their abusive husbands. true or false?

Answer 43

true

Question 44

personal commitment

Answer 44

occurs when people want to continue a relationship because they are attracted to their partners and the relationship is satisfying

Question 45

constraint commitment

Answer 45

occurs when people feel they have to continue a relationship because it would be too costly for them to leave.

Question 46

moral commitment

Answer 46

derives from a sense of moral obligation to one’s partner or one’s relationship

Question 47

commitment promotes accommodation in which ...

Answer 47

people refrain from responding to provocation from their partners with similar ire of their own Accommodating people tolerate destructive behavior from their partners without fighting back; they swallow insults, sarcasm, or selfishness without retaliating. accommodation often involves a conscious effort to protect the partnership from harm.

Question 48

Committed people also display greater ...

Answer 48

willingness to sacrifice their own self-interests for the good of the relationship They do things they wouldn’t do if they were on their own, and they do not do things they would have liked to do in order to benefit their partners and their partnerships.

Question 49

Derogation of tempting alternatives

Answer 49

judging other potential partners as less attractive than they wouldseem if one were unattached