Ch 1 The Building Blocks of Relationships Flashcards
In order to understand relationships we must first consider _____
who we are
where we are
and how we got there
Intimacy is a _____ concept with several different components
multifaceted
Intimate relationships differ from more casual associations in at least 7 ways:
knowledge interdependence caring trust responsiveness mutuality commitment
Knowledge
Intimate partners share personal, confidential knowledge about themselves
Interdependence
One’s behavior affects one’s partner as well as oneself
it’s frequent, strong, diverse and enduring
Caring, Trust, and Responsiveness
Intimate partners care about each other, trust one another, and intimacy increases when people believe that their partners understand, respect, and appreciate them and respond to their needs and welfare.
Mutuality
they recognize their close connection and think of themselves as “us” instead of “me” and “him” or “her”
Commitment
They expect relationship to continue, invest time, effort and resources to realize that goal
None of the components are absolutely required for intimacy to occur, and each may exist when the other is absent. For example ___
spouses in a stale and unhappy marriage can be interdependent, but avoid affection and responsiveness. They are still closer than acquaintances
There is a human need to belong in close relationships, and if the need is not met … what happens?
a variety of problems follow
we only need a few close relationships; when the need to belong satiated, our drive to form additional relationships is reduced. In other words …..
quality is more important than quantity
Holding a lover’s hand reduces what?
the brain’s alarm in response to threatening situations
pain seems less potent when looking at what?
a photo of a loving partner
wounds heal faster when others what?
support and accept us
lonely, young adults have weaker what?
immune responses
across the life span, those who have few friends or lovers, or those who live alone have much higher what?
mortality rates
those who lack close ties to others were ___ to ___ times more likely to die over a 9 year span
2 to 3
Our mental and physical health is also affected by the ___ of our connections to others
quality
How has the culture changed with marriage?
less than 80% will marry today
women are 27 and men 29 when they marry now - much older
many live together before marriage now
having babies before married now
1/2 of marriages get divorced now
mothers with young children work now
cohabitating partners are actually less likely to ever marry. true or false?
true
individualism
the support of self expression and the emphasis on personal fulfillment
technoference
the frequent interruptions of their interactions that are caused by their various technological devices
phubbing
when one partner snubs another by focusing on a phone
sex ratio
a simple count of the number of men for every 100 women in a specific population. when the ratio is high there are more men. when low, there are more women
secure attachment
they happily bond with others and rely on them comfortably, and the children readily developed relationships characterized by relaxed trust
anxious-ambivalent attachment OR PREOCCUPIED
uncertain of when or if a departing caregiver would return, children become nervous and clingy and were needy in their relationships.
avoidant attachment OR FEARFUL OR DISMISSING
suspicious of and angry at others, and they did not easily form trusting close relationships due to fear of rejection or dismissing relationships because they are self sufficient
4 influential types of individual variation
sex differences
gender differences
personalities
self esteem
Sex differences
most differences are small to medium range
men and women usually overlap so they are more similar than different
individual differences are greater than sex differences
male vs female - biological distinctions
Gender differences
social and psychological distinctions that are created by our cultures and upbringing
ex- the idea that mothers are more nurturing than men is a gender difference
gender roles
the patterns of behavior that are culturally expected of “normal” men and women
androgynous
possess both sets of competencies that are associated with being male and female (masculine and feminine)
instrumental traits are also referred to as what?
masculine task oriented talents
expressive traits are also referred to as what?
feminine social and emotional skills
traditional gender roles do men and women a disservice, depriving them of skills that would make them more rewarding husbands and wives. true or false?
true
personality (differences)
the big 5 personality traits:
opens to experience - degree to which people are imaginative, curious, unconventional, and artistic vs conforming, uncreative and story
extraversion - the extent to which people are outgoing, gregarious, assertive, and sociable versus cautious, reclusive, and shy
conscientiousness - the extent to which people are industrious, dependable, responsible, and orderly versus unreliable, disorganized, and careless
agreeableness - the degree to which people are compassionate, cooperative, good-natured, and trusting versus suspicious, selfish and hostile
neuroticism - the degree to which people are prone to fluctuating moods and high levels of negative emotion such as worry, anxiety and anger - THE MOST INFLUENTIAL
self esteem (differences)
self esteem is our evaluation of ourselves
self esteem is a subjective gauge, a sociometer that measures the quality of our relationship with others
when others like us, we like our selves
sexual selection
involves advantages that result in greater success at reproduction
parental investment
the time, energy, and resources one must provide to one’s offspring in order to reproduce
paternity uncertainty
a woman always knows if a baby is hers, but a man suffers from paternity uncertainty
trust is a ___ process rather than a static, changeless thing
fluid
