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Intimate Relationships > Chapter 5 Communication > Flashcards

Chapter 5 Communication Flashcards

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Conversation Starters flashcards
1
Q

Communication begins with what?

A

the sender’s intentions - the message that the sender wishes to convey

senders intentions (private) –> sender’s action (public) –> effect on listener (private, only known by listener)

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2
Q

Interpersonal gap

A

the sender’s intentions differ from the effect on the receiver

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3
Q

nonverbal communication

A

everything a person does in their interaction except for their spoken word and syntax

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4
Q

What are the 5 functions of nonverbal behavior? (what does it tell you)

A

provides info about people’s moods or meaning (facial expressions)

helps regulate interaction (gives cues to when to let others talk)

helps define the relationships we share (you act different around those you like)

Interpersonal influence (Goal-oriented behavior designed to influence someone else - a touch of the arm when asking for a favor)

Impression management (Nonverbal behavior that is man-aged by a person or a couple to create or enhance a particular image. fighting and then pretending everything is okay at a party in front of people)

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5
Q

What are the 7 channels of nonverbal communication?

A 
facial expressions 
gazing behavior 
body movement
touch
interpersonal distances
smells
paralanguage
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6
Q

Happy expressions are clearly correlated with success in life, and in some respects, a forecast of your future may be available to everyone you meet. True or false?

A

True

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7
Q

Display Rules are what?

A

cultural norms that dictate what emotions are appropriate in particular situations

  1. First, we may intensify our expressions, exaggerating them so that we appear to be experiencing stronger feelings than we really are. Ex- smiling even though we don’t like a gift
  2. Second, we sometimes minimize our expressions, trying to seem less emotional than we really are. Ex - a guy trying not to cry during a movie because “men don’t cry”
  3. neutralize our expressions, trying to withhold our true feelings altogether. Ex - playing poker
  4. Finally, we can mask our real feelings by replacing them with an entirely different apparent emotion. Ex - angry about not winning, but pretending to be happy for the other person
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8
Q

Even when we try to control our expressions, they can leak out. How?

A

feigned expressions usually differ from authentic expressions - Genuine smiles contract the muscles around our eyes, causing them to crinkle, but only about a quarter of us activate those muscles when we’re faking a smile

authentic flashes of real emotion, or microexpressions, can be visible during momentary lapses of control. you make look disgusted for just a second

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9
Q

Your eyes ___ when you see something interesting

A

dilate

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10
Q

what is gazing?

A

the amount and direction of a person’s looking behavior

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11
Q

visual dominance ratio (VDR) is what?

A

compares “look-speak” (the percentage of time a speaker gazes at a listener) to “look-listen.

typical ratio is 40/60 but dominance is 60/40. they say look at me when I am speaking to you, but they don’t do it themselves

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12
Q

men who are judged to be good dancers by women tend to be more agreeable, conscientious, and extraverted than guys who dance badly. true or false?

A

true

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13
Q

Body language of high status people

A

open, asymmetric postures in which the two halves of the body assume different positions.

They take up a lot of space.

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14
Q

Body language of low status people

A

use closed, symmetric postures that are relatively compact.

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15
Q

People with firm, full, long handshakes tend to be more _______ and _____ to experience, and less neurotic, than people with wimpy hand-shakes are

A

extraverted

open

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16
Q

Two people also tend to touch each other more when their relationship is more intimate. true or false?

A

true

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17
Q

touch can provide healing properties. true or false?

A

true

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18
Q

interpersonal distance

A

the physical space that separates two people

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19
Q

intimate zone of interpersonal distance

A

extends out from the front of our chests about a foot-and-a-half

this is usually when interaction is quite loving or hostile

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20
Q

personal zone

A

ranges from 1½ to 4 feet away from us.

friends interact at smaller distances and acquaintances farther

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21
Q

social zone

A

(4 to 12 feet), interactions tend to be more businesslike.

sitting at an interview

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22
Q

public zone

A

beyond 12 feet, which is used for structured interaction like that between an instructor and his or her students in a lecture class.

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23
Q

chemosignals

A

Different emotions cause people to emit different chemicals

smells carry information!

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24
Q

Paralanguage

A

includes all the variations in a person’s voice other than the actual words he or she uses, such as rhythm, pitch, loudness, and rate

25
Q

Women like their men to have deep, low-pitched voices. true or false?

A

true

26
Q

behavioral mimicry

A

occurs during a conversation when the participants adopt similar postures and mannerisms, display comparable expressions, and use similar paralanguage.

it puts us at ease when others mimic our language

27
Q

women are both better encoders and more astute decoders than men are on average. true or false?

A

true

Women spend more time watching others’ eyes than men do, and that appears to be one reason why they read others’ expressions more accurately

28
Q

Nonverbal insensitivity makes someone a less rewarding partner than he or she otherwise would be. true or false?

A

true

29
Q

self-disclosure

A

The process of revealing personal information to someone else

30
Q

Two people can-not be said to be intimate with each other if they do not share some personal, relatively confidential information with one another. True or false?

A

true

31
Q

social penetration theory

A

which holds that relationships develop through systematic changes in communication

32
Q

breadth vs depth

A

breadth: the variety of topics they discuss
depth: the personal significance of the topics they discuss.

33
Q

interpersonal process model of intimacy

A

proposed by Harry Reis and Phillip Shaver (1988) argues that genuine intimacy is likely to develop between two people only when certain conditions have been met.

we want responsiveness from others that indicates that they understand us and care about us.

34
Q

for two people to become close, three things have to happen which are what?

A

First, they have to engage in meaningful self-disclosure.

Then, they have to respond to each other’s personal information with interest and empathy

finally they each have to recognize that the other is being responsive.

35
Q

perceived partner responsiveness

A

The judgment that one’s partner is understanding and caring

36
Q

taboo topics

A

sensitive matters that, in their opinion, may threaten the quality of their relationship

the most common taboo topic is the state of the relationship itself

The more taboo topics there are in a relationship, the less satisfied the partners are unless they feel that they’re avoiding touchy topics to promote and protect their relationship

37
Q

the more self-disclosure romantic couples share, the happier they tend to be. true or false?

A

true

38
Q

____ are more likely to discuss their feelings about their close relationships and other personal aspects of their lives.

A

women

39
Q

____ tend to stick to more impersonal matters, discussing objects and actions such as cars and sports, gossiping about celebrities and politicians instead of friends, and seeking a few laughs instead of support and counsel

A

men

40
Q

_____ speak somewhat less forcefully, being more indirect and seeming less certain

A

women

41
Q

In established relationships, _____ are more self-disclosing, and in keeping with their higher scores on the “Opener” scale, they elicit more self-disclosure from others, too

A

women

42
Q

men disclose less to other men. true or false?

A

true

43
Q

it’s really just traditional, macho men who have superficial conversations with their best friends and who need relationships with women to keep from being lonely. true or false?

A

true

44
Q

blirtatiousness

A

rapid fire talking, blurt out whatever they are thinking

45
Q

both men and women consider expressive skills to be more important in close relationships than instrumental skills are. true or false?

A

true

46
Q

kitchen-sinking

A

in which they tend to address several topics at once (so that everything but the “kitchen sink” gets dragged into the conversation).

47
Q

off-beam

A

wandering from topic to topic so that the conversation never stays on one problem long enough to resolve it:

48
Q

mindreading

A

which occurs when people assume that they understand their partners’ thoughts, feelings, and opinions without asking.

49
Q

yes-butting

A

Distressed couples also listen poorly by finding something wrong or unworkable with anything their partners say.

it communicates constant criticism of the others’ points of view: “Yeah, we could try that, but it won’t work because…”

50
Q

cross-complaining

A

fails to acknowledge others’ concerns;

instead of expressing interest in what their partners have to say, they just respond to a complaint with one of their own

51
Q

Contempt

A

in the form of insults, mockery, or hostile humor is often involved as well in unhappy marriages

52
Q

Stonewalling

A

may follow as a partner “clams up” and reacts to the messy situation by withdrawing into a stony silence

53
Q

belligerence

A

may occur with one partner aggressively rejecting the other altogether (“So what? What are you gonna do about it?”).

54
Q

behavior description

A

to identify as plainly and concretely as pos-sible a specific behavior that annoyed us.

don’t use words such as never or always

55
Q

xyz statements

A

When you do X in situation Y” (that’s a good behavior description), “I feel Z” (an I-statement).

“When you interrupted me just now, I felt annoyed.”

56
Q

perception checking

A

people assess the accuracy of their inferences about a partner’s feelings by asking the partner for clarification.

57
Q

Validation does not require you to agree with someone. true or false?

A

true

58
Q

___ work harder at nonverbal communication

A

women

Intimate Relationships (9 decks)

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