Chapter 15

Question 1

What percent of Americans cohabit before marriage?

Answer 1

60-70%

Question 2

Institutional Marriage (1700s-1800s)

Answer 2

Practical, traditional, patriarchal
Farm owners. Expected each partner to work very hard. You combined land. Men make all of the decisions in the household.
Had very little to do with love or fulfillment

Question 3

Companionate Marriage (1850s-1965ish)

Answer 3

Industrialization made meeting basic needs easier
The expectation then became marrying for love, companionship
–But not your best friend, so it was very common to have separate gender spaces like ladies night
Strict gender-based expectations:
–Supposed to balance each other
–Husband = head of household and breadwinner
–Wife = homemaker, mother
Personal fulfillment was expected, but that was focused on being a good wife or husband

Question 4

Individualized Marriage (1965ish-now)

Answer 4

Women starting working and made their own money. They were able to leave partner, became more picky, and did not need to get married at all.
Marriage = optional, more flexible and equitable
Expectations are very high: spouse should be your best friends life partner, co-parent, lover, and life coach/therapist
–Never expected before, and it is a lot to expect this from one person
–The growth in expectations is good: reaching ideal form of marriage = extremely high levels of marital satisfaction (higher than ever)
–But also bad: higher expectations = fewer people getting married, more marriages failing. More people are satisfied.
–We expect a lot, but we do not put a lot of time in (because we have to put in time for hobbies, work, etc.)

Question 5

What are differences of heterosexual and homo relationships?

Answer 5

More equality in role (Person with most power/resources typically does less housework)
More positive and less negative feelings about your partner
More likely to break up, though this is changing in US. Divorce rates similar to lower
Gay male couples have sex more often than hetero couples, and are liekly to engage in non-monogamy

Question 6

Social Exchange Theory

Answer 6

Examine rewards and coasts: relationships with higher rewards than costs are more satisfying
Comparison Level of what you deserve and of alternate partners
Investment Theory

Question 7

Investment Theory

Answer 7

Satisfaction and stability affected by how much you have invested (social exchange theory)

Question 8

Equity Theory

Answer 8

Relationship satisfaction is affected by the ratio of cost and benefits for each partner and perception of the same

Exchange vs Communal Relationship

Question 9

Comparison Theory

Answer 9

Comparison Level of what you deserve and of alternate partners

Question 10

Exchange Relationships

Answer 10

Focus on equity moment to moment, making sure things are always equal

Question 11

Communal Relationships

Answer 11

Focus one bigger picture, figuring equity will be achieved over time

Higher relationship satisfaction compared to exchange

Question 12

How can couples stay satisfied?

Answer 12

Engage in Positive Communication
Have regular sex
Allow and promote self exploration

Question 13

Sexual Communal Strength

Answer 13

A willingness to satisfy your partners sexual needs even when they may not align with your own desires

Question 14

Self-expansion theory

Answer 14

Humans have a fundamental need to grow over time

Question 15

Hub and Spoke Model

Answer 15

one person (usually a man) is at the center (the hub) and all other partners are on the periphery (the spokes)

Rejected

Question 16

The Molecular Model

Answer 16

All participants in the relationship to have as many partners as they want. Partners might have one or two primary partners with whom they make the most relationship investment, but then have multiple peripheral partners with whom they also spend time and have sex

Question 17

What percent of gay male relationships take on sexual non-monogamy?

Answer 17

50%

Question 18

Polyfidelity

Answer 18

A group of people who are all equally committed to one another. Since each person is treated as a primary, in theory, each receives from their partners as much as they give. An example of polyfidelity is a group marriage.

Question 19

Esther Perel and sex

Answer 19

Perel reports that people feel the strongest attraction to their partner when they observe them shining or in their element, doing something that makes them seem confident and happy.

Question 20

Married couples report what about their sex lives

Answer 20

Married women have less sex than their unmarried peers who are women and less sexually adventurous and being less likely to have orgasms. But, women report being far more physically and emotionally satisfied with sex in long-term relationships versus short-term relationships. Men show a similar pattern, with one exception—they are just as likely to orgasm in whatever relationship they happen to be in.

Question 21

Pepper Schwartz and Janet Lever and sex

Answer 21

a) build anticipation for new sexual encounters
b) be willing to try something new (a new position, a new sex toy, a new place)
c) invest effort and thought in setting the right mood for sex.

Question 22

How many marriages end in divorce?

Answer 22

50%

Question 23

What is one of the strongest indicators of breaking up?

Answer 23

Infertility

Question 24

What percent of men 65+ report erectile dysfunction?

Answer 24

45%