Chapter 13

Question 1

How many divorces occur in the US ea/ yr?

Answer 1

1/2 as many divorces as marriages!

Question 2

How long do most marriages last?

Answer 2

Only about 2/3rds stay together for 10 years and less than half reach their 21st wedding anniversary.
The average length of marriage in the US is just over 18 yrs

Question 3

How much of the present adult population is married in the US? How many US children live in single-parent homes?

Answer 3

about 1/2 of adult pop

25% of american children

Question 4

How have our views of marriage changed?

Answer 4

Marriage is no longer the practical necessity it used to be- ppl pursue marriage as a path to personal fulfillment. Our expectations have become too high.

Question 5

What does marriage do to a couple? What about same sex marriages?

Answer 5

It increases commitment! We see the same pattern with same sex relationships.

Question 6

What are the trends of happiness we’re seeing with marriages?

Answer 6

The % of ppl saying their marriages are very happy is lower than it was 25 yrs ago. The number ov conflicts and problems spouses report are higher.

Question 7

Trends we are seeing in society that are affecting marriages.

Answer 7

1. Women are entering the workforce- the more women work the lower the quality her marriage seems to be. Harder to do chores, the couples spend less time together, higher CLalt.
2. Women earn more money now- this means they are able to divorce if need be (however poverty has an even greater impact- ppl who are v. poor are 2x more likely to divorce)

Question 8

How have our gender roles changed?

Answer 8

Women are gradually becoming more assertive and self-reliant and are dividing household responsibilities more equitably. Our society is having less gendered roles- and increases in family based decision making have resulted in higher marital qualities. However, the new division of household chores has decreased happiness with men but increased for wives

Question 9

How has Western culture influenced divorce rates?

Answer 9

We are becoming more ind., ppl are less tied to their communities than in the past. We don’t know our neighbours, we’re a part of less clubs, we entertain at home less and move more- this results in us depending on our spouse more b/c we have less external social support. Also, if not connected don’t have the social norms around us making divorce a taboo.

Question 10

What does casual cohabitation lead to? (3)

Answer 10

1. less respect for the institution of marriage
2. less favourable expectations about the outcomes of marriage
3. increased willingness to divorice

Question 11

Why are children with divorced parents more likely to divorce?

Answer 11

1. They have less favourable views of marriage, and they report less trust in their partners when they begin their own rom rs. (they have less faith their marriages will last)
2. They learn how to behave in rr from their parents and those who remember a lot of anger tend to have marriages of worth quality themselves.

Question 12

How much do our friends who get divorced influence us?

Answer 12

A LOT- if we have 1 degree of freedom (parent, child, sibling or friend) we are 75% more likely to divorce
2 degrees- 33% more likely

Question 13

7 reasons divorce rates have increased

Answer 13

1. We expect more out of marriages
2. Working women have more financial freedom and higher CLAlt
3. Individualistic culture
4. Laws make it easier
5. Casual cohabitation make it easier
6. Children of divorce are more likely to divorce too
7. More of us have friends who are divorced

Question 14

What are the 3 types of factors that make up Levinger’s Barrier model that influence the breakup of relationships.

Answer 14

1. Attraction- enhanced by the rewards a rs offers (enjoyable companionship, sexual fulfillment, security, social status) diminished by costs
2. Alternatives- other partners, being single, achieving occupational success
3. Barriers- things that make it hard to leave (legal and social pressures, religious and morals, finances)

Question 15

What was a major contribution of Levinger’s approach?

Answer 15

To highlight the fact that unhappy partners who would like to break up may stay together b/c it would cost them too much to leave.
He also argued that many barriers to divorce are psychological rather than material. Eg too much guilt/b.c of kids etc.

Question 16

Based on a 12 year study, what two perceived barriers distinguished couples who divorced or not?

Answer 16

1. Dependence on one’s spouse
2. Religious beliefs
   * *But if ppl had grown genuinely dissatisfied with their marriages even those 2 barriers didn’t matter.

Question 17

What are the 3 influences that can contribute to divorce in Karney and Bradbury’s Vulnerability-Stress-Adaptation model (of marriage instability)

Answer 17

1. Enduring vulnerabilities- eg. adverse experiences in one’s family of origin, poor education, maladaptive personality traits. these don’t make divorce inevitable- but they can shade the circumstances a person encounters and they all influence the..
2. Adaptive processes- how ppl respond to stress. If a couple is lucky and encounters only infrequent and milk difficulties, even those with poor coping and comm. skills may live happily ever after.
3. Stressful events- every marriage faces events that require the partner to provide support to one another and to adjust to new circumstances.
   * With stressful events- couples must cope and adapt but depending on their vulnerabilities, some ppl are better equipped for this than others.

Question 18

_______: when we bring surly moods home from work or school and interact with anger/frustration with our innocent partners.

Answer 18

Stress spillover

Question 19

After the PAIR Project, Huston looked at 3 different reasons for why marriages go awry.

Answer 19

1. Enduring dynamics- spouse bring to their marriages problems, incompatibilities and vuln. at the beginning- they start out weaker than other rs and more likely to divorce from the beginning.
2. Emergent distress- The problematic behaviour that ultimately destroys a couple begin after they marry. Couples fall into a rut of conflict/neg that did not exist before.
3. Disillusionment model- Couples begin their marriage with rosy/rom views that are unrealistically positive.

Question 20

Of the 3 different models for the PAIR project predicting which couples would divorce- which was the the best predictor?

Answer 20

The disillusionment model. The drop in marital satisfaction during the first years of marriage was sharper and more pronounced in some couples that in others. Their love faded faster.

Question 21

What was a pattern seen that distinguished couples who divorced before 6 years of marriage or after 7?

Answer 21

<6yr- usually bean their marriages with less love and more ambivalence
7yr< - Were especially affectionate and romantic when their marriages began. They were more adoring and had farther to fall.

Question 22

The PAIR project made 2 conclusions.

Answer 22

1. The size and speed of changes in romance best predict which couples will divorce
2. The problems couples bring to their rs determine how quickly a divorce will occur.
   (lvl of satisfaction and change in sat over time are key)

Question 23

The EYM study looked at race and marriages. what was found?

Answer 23

16 yrs in 46% of couples had already divorced.
1/3 were white, 55% were black.
1. blacks seem to cohabitate earlier and more likely to have kids before marriage.
2. lower incomes, broken homes

Question 24

3 general influence son our marital outcomes.

Answer 24

1. Cultural context
2. Personal context- social network of fam and friends
3. Relational context- the enviro of the couple that is created through perceptions and interactions of the ppl

Question 25

How did age or SES influence ppls reasonings for divorce?

Answer 25

higher SES helped predict the problems they would encounter (eg. education- more incompatibility, higher income- less abuse was mentioned) age- early marriage more likely to say that they have grown apart or to say that drugs or alcohol had become a problem

Question 26

What does it mean for couples to disengage from their marriage directly or indirectly?

Answer 26

If the effort was explicitly stated to the other partner or not.

Question 27

What does it mean for one to be self oriented or other oriented during divorce?

Answer 27

O-o- trying to protect the partners feelings, self-o is being more selfish at the expense of the partner's feelings

Question 28

_____: the most common manner in which premarital rs ended that involved gradual dissatisfaction that led one of the 2 partners to make repeated efforts to dissolve the rs without ever announcing that intention and without engaging in any attempts to improve or repair the partnership.

Answer 28

Persevering indirectness (only occurs 1/3 of time)

Question 29

5 general stages occur during the dissolution of most rs.

Answer 29

1. Personal phase- partner grows dissatisfied 2. Dyadic phase- partner says their discontent. Periods of negotiation confrontation may follow with shock anger or hurt. 3. Social phase- partner publicizes their distress. 4. Grave-dressing phase- mourning decreases and the partners get over their loss but creating a narrative 5. Resurrection phase- ex-partners reenter the social world as singles!

Question 30

____ in rr that occurs when partners break up but then reconcile and get back together.

Answer 30

Churning

Question 31

Its especially hard to lose a partnership that were high in ... (2)

Answer 31

1. mutuality | 2. self expression

Question 32

What was seen in students who had just gone through a breakup?

Answer 32

They were sad and in pain and mad. But after 1 month they were no sadder than their peers and their relief had rebounded. It was all less awful than they had guessed too!

Question 33

What are some features that make breakups harder? (4)

Answer 33

1. the one being rejected 2. ppl who mope and dwell on being rejected and how lousy they feel 3. rumination prolonges distress 4. insecure styles of attachment who are anxious about being abandoned are more likely to have difficulties letting go- they remain preoccupied with their partner

Question 34

2 types of ppl who fair better after divorce occurs.

Answer 34

1. When they leave an abusive or hostile partner 2. Spouses who are depressed and who have hit rock bottom when a marriage ends tend to feel better rather than worse after a marriage.

Question 35

3 trends seen with the marriage/divorce/widowhood related to satisfaction in life study.

Answer 35

* *divorced or widowed ppl were greatly dissatisfied 1. Ppl who were destined to divorce were less happier years earlier- starting their rs being less content 2. Their divorces typically halted a painful pattern of eroding contentment- but once they left things started to get better. 3. Years later they still weren't as happy as they had been before the decline and fall of their marriages.

Question 36

2 characteristics that are associated with occasional bouts of grief that occur in widows.

Answer 36

1. when the survivor is high in anxiety about abandonment | 2. when the spouse's death was sudden and unexpeted

Question 37

What are the rates of remarriage after a divorce that occurred after the mid 20s?

Answer 37

about 2/3 remarry. Those that do usually take the plunge a second time within 4 years of the divorce. Over 3/4 will say their divorce was a good thing 6 years later.

Question 38

How much of ppl's social network gets lost after a divorce?

Answer 38

About 50% (Also about 50% of divorced ppl have interactions with their estranged spouses that are hostile or tense. 50% of ppl say they have relatives also disapprove of the separation)

Question 39

How are men and women's incomes affected after divorce?

Answer 39

Women decrease and men's slightly do too. but women usually have children in their homes- so they drop A LOT and men actually increase and can spend their money on themselves.

Question 40

4 broad types of postmarital rs.

Answer 40

1. Fiery Foes 2. Angry Associates 3. Cooperative Colleagues 4. Perfect Pals for FF and AA the spouses' animosity still defines their rs.

Question 41

According to a _____ view, children are presumed to benefit from having 2 parents who are devoted to their care and children who lose a parent for any reason (inc. divorce) are likely to be less well off. If divorce does happen children do better if they spend time with both parents.

Answer 41

Parental loss.

Question 42

The _______ model holds that the quality not quantity that a child receives is key. Any stressor (inc. divorce) that distracts one's parents can have detrimental effects. According to this model it is based on how well the custodial parent adjusts to the divorce.

Answer 42

Parental stress model

Question 43

One major stressor: ____ that may add to the children's burdens. Any challenges faced by the children are reduced in the custodial parent has enough resources to support them.

Answer 43

Economic hardship

Question 44

The most potent influence of child's outcomes after divorce. Whether there is conflict in the home- this is associated with more anxiety and more problematic behaviour in the children.

Answer 44

Parental conflict. (But children do better with divorce if there is constant conflict)

Question 45

What are 2 main factors that can improve a child's outcome after divorce?

Answer 45

1. If the child is able to maintain a high-quality rs with their parent after. When parents cooperate to become attentive devoted co-parents their children have better rs with them and the extended fam. 2. The bad affects of divorce on children gradually fade overtime. It is important that they are provided with sufficient love and support