Chapter 10 Flashcards
The degree to which others consider their relationships with us to be valuable, important or close
Perceived Relational value
Does it matter if people dislike us a lot or a bit?
No actually it doesn’t. We are very sensitive to small differences in regards from others that range from ambivalence at the low end to active including at the high end.
**decreases in the acceptance we receive from others may have a greater impact.
Apparent decreases in others’ regard for us (often causes a variety of unhappy emotions)
Relational devaluation
When ppl are given the ‘cold shoulder’ and ignored by those around them. Often ppl don’t explain why they are ignoring the person
Ostracism
3 feels that define jealousy the best
Hurt, anger and fear
Jealousy that occurs when someone becomes aware of an actual threat to a valued relationship. Doesn’t need to be current- but always occurs in response to a realistic danger.
Reactive jealousy
Jealousy that occurs when one’s partner hasn’t misbehaved and one’s suspicions don’t fit the fact at hand.
Suspicious jealous
Do men and women differ in their jealous tendencies?
No- but there are differences in individuals
Different ind. qualities that influence jealous (5)
- Dependence on the rs
- Feelings of inadequacy
- Matching
- Attachment styles
- Personality traits
What is a trend seen with competition to us with our partner?
We think the person is more attractive than they actually are.
Are M or W better at detecting infidelity in a relationship?
Men
They also are more infidle
Do M or W prioritize emotional cheating or sexual cheating to be hurtful?
M=sexual (60% physical)
F= emotional (83%)
M are quicker to assume sexual infidelity and W are quicker for emotional
What type of attachment style is often associated with a mate poacher?
Avoidant- often sexually attractive horny extraverted ppl
How does infidelity act on genders in homosexual rs?
Both genders worry about the 2 infidelities
When shown a video of partner kissing their ex what were the gender differences in reactions?
- W= seek to improve the rs- women try to get their male jealous more
- M= protect ego by getting more drink and challenging the rival
2 ways to respond to jealousy constructively
- Self-reliance- involves efforts to ‘stay cool’ and to avoid feeling angry/embarrassed by refusing to dwell on the unfairness of the situation
- Self-bolstering- boosting one’s SE by doing something good for yourself thinking a/b your good qualities
Intentional behaviour that creates an impression in the recipient that the deceiver knows to be untrue.
Deception
3 examples of deception
- Concealing
- Divert attention
- Half-truths
When ppl lie to others, they often begin to perceive the recipients of the lies as less honest and trustworthy as a result. Assume that ppl are just like them.
Deceiver’s distrust
Is there obvious body language that goes along with lying?
No- they can look very similar to someone who tells the truth. But often when ppl care about the lie they often put a lot of effort into the lie.
When partners are quite close and it leads them to assume that their partners are telling the truth.
Truth Bias
Do ppl get better or worse at detecting lies as they become more intimate and trust each other more?
Worse
When is forgiveness of betrayal the worst?
If your partner catches them in the act or if they learn of it from a 3rd party
If someone asks you about a betrayal what should you do?
Don’t deny it outright- make your response as truthful as possible
What type of attachment style is most forgiving?
Secure. Ppl who are high in neuroticism are not very forgiving
Term for when ppl acknowledge their wrongs, accept responsibility for their actions, offer genuine atonement by expressing shame, regret, and remorse for their misbehaviour.
Contrition
