Chapter 10

Question 1

The degree to which others consider their relationships with us to be valuable, important or close

Answer 1

Perceived Relational value

Question 2

Does it matter if people dislike us a lot or a bit?

Answer 2

No actually it doesn’t. We are very sensitive to small differences in regards from others that range from ambivalence at the low end to active including at the high end.
**decreases in the acceptance we receive from others may have a greater impact.

Question 3

Apparent decreases in others’ regard for us (often causes a variety of unhappy emotions)

Answer 3

Relational devaluation

Question 4

When ppl are given the ‘cold shoulder’ and ignored by those around them. Often ppl don’t explain why they are ignoring the person

Answer 4

Ostracism

Question 5

3 feels that define jealousy the best

Answer 5

Hurt, anger and fear

Question 6

Jealousy that occurs when someone becomes aware of an actual threat to a valued relationship. Doesn’t need to be current- but always occurs in response to a realistic danger.

Answer 6

Reactive jealousy

Question 7

Jealousy that occurs when one’s partner hasn’t misbehaved and one’s suspicions don’t fit the fact at hand.

Answer 7

Suspicious jealous

Question 8

Do men and women differ in their jealous tendencies?

Answer 8

No- but there are differences in individuals

Question 9

Different ind. qualities that influence jealous (5)

Answer 9

1. Dependence on the rs
2. Feelings of inadequacy
3. Matching
4. Attachment styles
5. Personality traits

Question 10

What is a trend seen with competition to us with our partner?

Answer 10

We think the person is more attractive than they actually are.

Question 11

Are M or W better at detecting infidelity in a relationship?

Answer 11

Men

They also are more infidle

Question 12

Do M or W prioritize emotional cheating or sexual cheating to be hurtful?

Answer 12

M=sexual (60% physical)
F= emotional (83%)
M are quicker to assume sexual infidelity and W are quicker for emotional

Question 13

What type of attachment style is often associated with a mate poacher?

Answer 13

Avoidant- often sexually attractive horny extraverted ppl

Question 14

How does infidelity act on genders in homosexual rs?

Answer 14

Both genders worry about the 2 infidelities

Question 15

When shown a video of partner kissing their ex what were the gender differences in reactions?

Answer 15

1. W= seek to improve the rs- women try to get their male jealous more
2. M= protect ego by getting more drink and challenging the rival

Question 16

2 ways to respond to jealousy constructively

Answer 16

1. Self-reliance- involves efforts to ‘stay cool’ and to avoid feeling angry/embarrassed by refusing to dwell on the unfairness of the situation
2. Self-bolstering- boosting one’s SE by doing something good for yourself thinking a/b your good qualities

Question 17

Intentional behaviour that creates an impression in the recipient that the deceiver knows to be untrue.

Answer 17

Deception

Question 18

3 examples of deception

Answer 18

1. Concealing
2. Divert attention
3. Half-truths

Question 19

When ppl lie to others, they often begin to perceive the recipients of the lies as less honest and trustworthy as a result. Assume that ppl are just like them.

Answer 19

Deceiver’s distrust

Question 20

Is there obvious body language that goes along with lying?

Answer 20

No- they can look very similar to someone who tells the truth. But often when ppl care about the lie they often put a lot of effort into the lie.

Question 21

When partners are quite close and it leads them to assume that their partners are telling the truth.

Answer 21

Truth Bias

Question 22

Do ppl get better or worse at detecting lies as they become more intimate and trust each other more?

Answer 22

Worse

Question 23

When is forgiveness of betrayal the worst?

Answer 23

If your partner catches them in the act or if they learn of it from a 3rd party

Question 24

If someone asks you about a betrayal what should you do?

Answer 24

Don’t deny it outright- make your response as truthful as possible

Question 25

What type of attachment style is most forgiving?

Answer 25

Secure. Ppl who are high in neuroticism are not very forgiving

Question 26

Term for when ppl acknowledge their wrongs, accept responsibility for their actions, offer genuine atonement by expressing shame, regret, and remorse for their misbehaviour.

Answer 26

Contrition