Why we form relationships with certain people Flashcards
Factors influencing who we get romantically involved with (8)
(PS CRESPC)
1. Physical Appearance
2. Similarity
3. Complementary
4. Reciprocity
5. Exchange
6. Self-Disclosure
7. Proximity
8. Competency
Physical Appearance
-good looking people are seen as more exciting and interesting
-parents are more likely to take better care of their kids if they are better looking
-beauty standards change over time, media can have an impact on this
-infants and children also prefer attractive people
-men place more importance on physical appearances, while women place more importance on financial capabilities
What are men attracted to in women?
large eyes, luscious hair, small noses, full lips, narrow waist
-these features are a sign of estrogen and fertility
-narrow waist associated with fertility
-full lips are a sign of youth
What are women attracted to in men?
height, muscles
-these are signs of high testosterone
-women’s preferences change throughout their menstrual cycle
Some of the cultural differences in beauty standards
-In Japan, the women’s nape of the neck is a beauty standard
-some cultures prefer curvy figures over slim figures
-depending on the availability of food, different nation’s beauty standards of weight change, where food is scarce the beauty standard is to be plump because it is a signal of wealth, where food is abundant the beauty standard is to be slim)
Similarity
-comforting to have similarities
-reinforces our sense of what is right and wrong
-when we share similarities with a person, we are more likely to accurately predict what the other will do (this provides comfort)
-attitude similarity is more important than personality similarity
-similarity in ability and intelligence -similar taste in friends
Complementarity
-differences can strengthen a relationship
-each person’s characteristics can satisfy the other’s need (e.g.extroverted vs introverted, quiet vs talkative)
-relationships work well when partners agree to let others control certain realms (e.g. wife controls the finances, husband controls the interior design)
-successful marriages have a balance of similarities and differences
Reciprocity
-discovering that a person likes you can be a source of attraction in the early stages
-bolsters our self-esteem knowing someone likes us
-includes thinking someone else might like us
Exchange
-we get involved with people who give us benefits that outweigh the costs, including physical, mental, and emotional rewards
-what’s exchanged is different (e.g. he supplies wealth and power, she supplies youth and beauty)
-exchange is influenced by our expectations and what we think we deserve
-expectations can be negative, she may think she deserves worse because of past poor relationships
Competency
-we like to be around talented people
–maybe attracted to people we want to be like
-we don’t want someone too competent because it can make us feel uneasy (talented but shows their human by exposing their flaws)
Proximity
-likely to develop relations with a person you see frequently
-allows you to learn more about the person
-difficult to benefit in a relationship that is long-distance
Self-Disclosure
-can build liking as you learn similarities
-we tend to like people because we self-disclose to them. It signals that the person is special
-when someone self-discloses to you, you like them because it shows they respect and trust you
-a good measure of the depth of a relationship
-reciprocity is important in self-disclosure
-needs to occur at the appropriate stage of a relationship, can’t be rushed
