Listening Flashcards
What is the difference between hearing and listening?
Hearing: the physiological sensory process by which auditory sensations received by ears are transmitted to the brain
Listening: a psychological process that requires interpreting the sensory experience
Different Listening Skills (3)
- Attending Skills
- Following Skills
- Reflecting Skills
Attending Skills
giving physical attention to the speaker by using non-verbal communication that indicates you’re listening
-you show you care with your body
Attending Skills Components (4)
- Posture of Involvement
- Appropriate body motion
- Eye contact
- Non-distracting environment
Posture of Involvement
a demonstration of a relaxed alertness of the body
-shows I’m comfortable and I sense the importance
-shown by the body leaning forward and squarely facing the person
-maintaining an open position (arms and legs uncrossed, crossed is a defensive move)
-appropriate distance from the speaker
Appropriate body motion
-good listeners move in response to the speaker
-bad listeners move in response to external things or are unmoving
-avoid distracting movements (bouncing foot, tapping fingers)
Eye Contact
-enables speakers to appraise receptiveness
-allows the listener to hear the message communicated by eyes
-softly focusing eyes and occasionally shifting gaze to other part of the body such as hand gestures
-poor eye contact is staring blankly, looking at other things, looking away when making eye contact
Non-distracting environment
-no significant physical barriers (e.g. a desk, which is associated with authority and can hinder reading of body language)
-minimal noise
Following Skills
listener doesn’t interrupt or direct conversation but follows the speaker
Components of following (4)
ADAM
1. Attentive silence
2. Door openers
3. Asking questions
4. Minimal encouragers
Door-opener
non-coercive invitation to talk
-can invite us to talk when we pick up on non-verbal cues
Ex: “Care to talk about it?”
-people close the door by giving unwanted advice, judgment, or reassurance (You’ll forget about it next week”)
-often begins with a description of the other person’s body language (“You look upset”)
-don’t want to be too pushy when trying to get information - some people are hesitant to share
Minimal Encouragers
simple responses that encourage the speaker to tell their story while keeping the listener interested
-aids the speaker to continue
Ex: “Tell me more”, “I see”, “Really?”, “Then?”
-don’t want to lapse into non-participation
-doesn’t break the flow of conversation
-can repeat one or two of the speaker’s words
-lets the speaker know they’re being heard
Asking Questions
-you want to ask open questions that give the speaker space to expand
-closed questions only allow for specific responses
-can help the listener better understand the speaker
-don’t ask too many questions (can be a way of controlling the conversation)
Attentive Silence
-can free up the speaker to express themself
- silence gives the speaker time to think, go at their own pace, and decide what depth they want to go into
-nudges people on
-silence gives the listener time to ponder their response
-during silence, a good listener is still attentive
-total silence hinders good communication
-silence of intimacy (gazing, basking in affection, here words can get in the way)
Reflecting Skills
you reflect back what is being communicated to you
