Flirting Flashcards
According to Darwin, which sex initiates flirting?
females
Gaze
-men and women will look at each other for 2-3 seconds and their pupils will dilate
- a gaze may lead to a response
- before a response, the person being gazed at may engage in displacement gestures
- if a gaze is returned it may be a sign of interest
Displacement Gesture
movements that displace nervous energy and alleviate anxiety
Ex: picking at lint on clothing or twirling hair
How do men try to attract the attention of the person they’re interested in? Women?
Men: may shift from foot to foot, laugh loudly, stretch, adjust clothes
Female: might place themselves in their line of sight, smiling, stretching, adjusting clothes, coy looks,
According to Darwin, nonverbal cues in flirting resorted to …
submissive displays
Ex: palm-up placement of the hand, shoulder shrug signifying helplessness, tilted neck to display vulnerability
Why are women more selective when it comes to reproduction?
- limited number of eggs
- must carry the child for a long period of time
What do women look for when being selective about reproduction?
Good physical appearance, good behavior, and good resources (will commit time to raising the children)
How do women test for good behavior and commitment?
Coyness
- coyness not seen in species that don’t need a male to raise offspring
-coyness displayed in species through courtship dances and through promise-withdrawal
- a species will get into a mating position and then withdrawal as the male approaches
-in humans, the promise-withdrawal is a coy glance (the promise is the glance, withdrawal would be something like talking to friends)
Coy
making a pretense of shyness that is intended to be alluring
Phatic Communication:
communication to open up a channel of communication
-Ex: mentioning the weather opens up communication
-engaging in small talk
Why is small talk important?
Small talk allows you to make a connection while maintaining your balance and giving you a better idea of what the person is like
Who will usually initiate the first touch?
Females
-perhaps a minimal grooming gesture such as removing a piece of lint from his jacket
What component is crucial for touch when flirting?
Reciprocity
-if the movement is mimicked by the other person it is a sign of interest
-can lead to body synchrony
Body Synchrony
when bodies are mirroring each other
Ex: both leaning in, crossing legs
-subconscious
Kinesics
anything related to our bodies
Body language to stave people off
stiff jaw, clenched fist, cold shoulder
Examples of gestures that invite the other into their space include…
tilting your head towards the other, reaching for something near them, softening your voice so the other has to move in
-if uncomfortable they may pull back or make a defensive move
-accepting the gesture would mean open to intimacy
How is corroboration important for eyes when flirting?
Corroboration: support with additional proof
-repeating a glance to signal that she understood his glance as flirting after she returned it back
In what ways can eyes be problematic?
staring can objectify someone, glaring can express aggression, winking, using eyes to explore below the neck
Which sex is better at interpreting flirting cues?
Females
What are the differences in how males and females approach if interested in sexual contact?
-women tend to use direct approaches if interested in sexual contact
-men who use more romantic gestures are more likely to lead to sexual contact
