Week 6: L2: Jealousy and Infidelity

Question 0

Jealousy

Answer 0

• occurs when a person fears losing an important relationship with another person to a rival - in particular, losing a relationship that is formative to one’s sense of self
• affective state: fear of loss, anxiety, suspiciousness and anger about betrayal

Question 1

Envy

Answer 1

• occurs when a person lacks a another’s superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wished that the other lacked it
• affective state: feelings of inferiority, longing, resentment, ill will toward the envied person, guilt, denial, awareness if the in appropriateness of the ill will

Question 2

Development of jealousy

Answer 2

• 6 & 12 months
  • show negative affect, longer eye gaze when mother is showing attention to a toy doll compared to a story book
• reactions to jealousy evocation appear to be the same for children aged 10-month-old to 3-year-old. 4 years > more complex
• reactions range from seeking proximity to mother, kissing her, climbing on her and biting her

Question 3

Cross cultural differences in jealousy - evolutionary based phenomenon

Answer 3

• behavioral expressions don’t emerge automatically
• biology expressed differently according to contextual demands
• frequency, intensity and experience of an emotion influence by cultural norms
• Gusii mothers from Kenya minibar a child’s desire and expectation of exclusive maternal attention to avoid conflict when other siblings are born
• Western mothers consider exclusive attention to an infant as absolutely essential to optimal child development
• children from traditional cultures are less likely to interrupt an adult conversation and more likely to share at 12 months age

Question 4

Sibling jealousy

Answer 4

• arrival of new sibling
• first born daughters are more likely to react negatively to a new baby with their mother compared to first born boys
• early childhood - older siblings use more sophisticated strategies to gain parents attention
• middle childhood - 98% of 10-12 yr olds reported sibling jealousy occurring often (once a month)

Question 5

Jealousy in social relationships

Answer 5

• compared to boys, girls engage in more thinking about their friends when separated, they expect an receive more kindness, loyalty, commitment, and empathy from friends
• as a result, girls appear more prone to jealousy in friendships. As they have more at stake.
• what variables at play?
  • high dependency
  • low SE
  • insecure attachment

Question 6

Jealousy on adulthood

Answer 6

Attachment styles - findings are mixed 
- insecure -> jealousy 
- secure -> jealousy 
Stages of threat 
1. Vague possibility of threat 
2. Definite reality

Question 7

Romantic jealousy

Answer 7

• forced choice dilemmas: sexual infidelity vs emotional infidelity
• women more distress by emotional infidelity
• men more distressed by sexual infidelity

Question 8

Is there really a sex difference in jealousy?

Answer 8

• sexual infidelity implies emotional infidelity?
• when participants have experienced infidelity, the results do not match the evolutionary hypothesis
• men reported higher levels of anger/betrayal after imaging sexual infidelity than emotional infidelity and vice versa for women
• m and w reported less jealousy in same sex encounter than opposite

Question 9

Pathological jealousy

Answer 9

• Irrational thoughts and emotions, unacceptable or extreme behaviour, a pre-occupation with a partner’s sexual faithfulness based on unfounded evidence
• co-morbidity is high - personality disorders, substance abuse and mental illness
• symptom rather than unique diagnosis
• Risk to self and others is high

Question 10

Infidelity

Answer 10

• dating, spending time together, sex, kissing, flirting, petting, sexual attraction, fantasies, keeping secrets, cybersex, porn
• extramarital sex is most cited cause of divorce cross-culturally
• sexual infidelity (actual or suspected) leading cause of spousal battering and homicide
• 30-60% of m and 20-50% of w cheat over the course of a marriage

Question 11

Why cheat?

Answer 11

• narcissim, impulsivity, jealous/possessive partner, marital dissatisfaction
• infidelity is universally associated with low agreeableness and low conscientiousness
  Prior to marriage (Wiederman & Hurd, 1999) (M 19)
• less adherence to sex-love-marriage ideals
• high in sexual sensation seeking
• view love as a game
• perceived ability to deceive partner

Question 12

Why don’t people cheat?

Answer 12

-commitment
- use of maintenance strategies
• positivity
• openness
• assurances
- protects relationships from infidelity even when geographically apart

Question 13

Why stay with cheaters?

Answer 13

Investment theory (Rusbult, 1980)

• satisfaction
• investment
• quality of alternatives
• commitment
• perceive partner as unique

Question 14

Life after an affair

Answer 14

• generally negative affect on marriage (Glass, 2003)
• marriage stronger, accept as part of marriage, address issues (Charny & Parness, 1995)
• when it ends in divorce, extremely negative for children, strong predictor of insecure attachment