Week 4: Emotions In Relationships

Question 0

Organized action sequences

Answer 0

Routine behaviors in pursuit of Higher Order Plans and goals

• we pay attention when out routines are interrupted
• interruptions may activate our emotions (trouble-shooting system)- they motivate us to take appropriate action

Question 1

Where do emotions come from?

Answer 1

Mandler’s (1970s) cognitive theory of emotion. To experience an emotion there must be:

• an event or stimulus in the world; and
• we must pay attention to that stimulus

Question 2

Primary appraisals

Answer 2

When we experience an interruption, we appraise it along two dimensions:

• valence - is it good/bad, helpful/harmful?
• relevance/importance - does it matter?

Question 3

Berscheid (1983) application of Mandler’s theory explain the cause of emotional experiences in close relationships

Answer 3

• drew on Kelly’s interdependence theory (P and O)
  • P and O each has their own connected chains (intra-chains) of organized action sequences and higher order plans
• P and O live lives on parallel tracks
• when P and O activities interconnect, inter-chains connection are established
• inter-chain connections determine the closeness of a couple’s relationship via frequency, strength and diversity, longevity
• role of emotion? Close relationships are ‘meshed’, the more meshed, the higher the chance for interruptions
• well meshed with no interruptions may seem boring, or fights can be meshed (thus little emotion)

Question 4

Emotional investment

Answer 4

• the more interchain connections b/w P and O, the greater is their emotional investment in the relationship
• doesn’t have to be symmetrical
• relationships can be emotionally tranquil for one of two reasons:
  • extremely well meshed (no interruptions)
  • few interconnections - emotionally sterile

Question 5

Irony of boredom

Answer 5

• emotionally tranquil relationship partners may not be aware of their degree of interdependence and emotional investment
• only after major interruption, when the interconnections are exploded, is intense an prolonged emotion experienced

Question 6

How to stay happy?

Answer 6

• positive emotions are elicited by
  • unexpected completion of OAS or HOP (e.g. Win lottery)
  • removal of previously interruptive stimulus (e.g backyard blitz cleans backyard)
• if partner is credited for event, then love should be forthcoming

Question 7

Berscheid’s definition of romantic love:

Answer 7

• “The sudden realisation that another person is willing and able to help you fulfil your cherished hopes and plans” you’ve found someone you can mesh
• do new and interesting things together, make plans together that you need one another to help accomplish - create new opportunities to mesh
• engineer pleasant surprises for one another

Question 8

Simpson’s (1987) evidence for Berscheid’s

Answer 8

• longitudinal study of American dating students found the factors that best predicted emotional distress after breakup were the same factors that indicated relationship closeness and emotional investment

Question 9

Weakness of Berscheid’s theory

Answer 9

• what determines the kind of emotion we will feel after an interruptive stimulus?
  • we experience more than just ‘good’ or ‘bad’ feelings
• cognition determines the kind of emotion
  • specifically, cognitive appraisals including casual attributions

Question 10

Generating emotions

Answer 10

Step 1 
- primary appraisals 
- valence 
- relevance 
Step 2 
- secondary appraisals (including attributions) determine the kind of emotion 
 • who caused it? Who is to blame? 
 • what can I do about it? 
 • was it intentional? Typical? 
 • was it fair? 
 •  can I change it?

Question 11

Jealousy: appraisals?

Answer 11

• always involves P, O and X - third party
• X represents threat to O
• who is to blame?
• but…who is in control?
• jealousy a mix of emotions, anger fear, sadness

Question 12

Anger, hate and hurt

Answer 12

Anger: appraisals of unfairness and injustice, moderate to high power
Hate: appraisals of being diminished and low power
Hurt: key appraisals of unexpectedness, relational devaluation, rejection, low power, high effort, low understanding

Question 13

Proximal effects on appraisals

Answer 13

• Mood - good or bad, colour interpretations of ambiguous events and behaviors
• Recent experiences (e.g. Watching TV; talking to friends)

Question 14

Distal effects on appraisals

Answer 14

Schemas create emotional climates
- relationship happiness schema,
- attachment schemas
- emotion schemas from family of origin
E.g. Anger
- Typically involves two or more parties; one has committed an offence
- angered person feels hot and tense, appraises event as other-caused, unfair, controllable, intentional, deserving of punishment, feels urge to retaliate
- angered person responds with protest behaviors, offender apology, denial or retaliation may follow.
* problems when partners hold different emotion scripts

Question 15

What follows emotion?

Answer 15

Different emotions elicit different kinds of motivations and behaviors

• sadness - motivates withdrawal
• anxiety - motives comfort-seeking
• anger - motivates confrontation
• love - motivates physical closeness

Question 16

The interactional cycle

Answer 16

• P’s emotional response (e.g. Angry protest after an O-caused interruption appraised as negative, important, unfair, uncontrollable) becomes an interruption for O
• O appraises P’s behavior, experiences emotion and responds emotionally
• O’s behavior becomes stimulus