Week 5: L1 - Communication In Relationships

Question 0

Role of language

Answer 0

• paralanguage (everything except content of speech) provides more accurate info than just verbal
• deception research shows that verbal lies can be ‘leaked’ via nonverbal cues

Question 1

What is communication?

Answer 1

• Sender (encoder), message and receiver (decoder)

- may be rich multiple channels, or poor - only one channel

Question 2

Why is communication complex?

Answer 2

• noise - interference in communication process
• encoders can send ambiguous (noisy) messages where verbal/non-verbal cues don’t match
• the medium may not suit the message - breakup over SMS
• decoders interpret messages according to moods, schemas and expectations

Question 3

Communication accuracy stay using the Marital Communication Scale

Answer 3

• happy couples were more successful in accurately decoding the messages than unhappy couples
• happy husbands sent clearer messages and better at decoding wives messages than unhappy husbands
• No differences in accuracy b/w happy and unhappy wives
• wives made fewer encoding errors than men overall, especially for positive messages
• happily married husbands were especially accurate in sending positive messages (encoding), compared to unhappily married husbands
• ## unhappy wives were concerned at the apparent lack of positivity from their husbands (due to husbands’ lack of encoding skills, rather than negative intentions; I.e. they didn’t know how to express positive intentions non verbally when saying something positive)

Question 4

Para language problems

Answer 4

• wives verbal and nonverbal messages were consistent with one another
• husbands verbal and nonverbal messages tended to be inconsistent (mixed)

Question 5

Spouses communication accuracy ratings

Answer 5

• spouses tended to judge their own encoding skills accurately, regardless of marital happiness
• unhappy husbands were more confident than happy husbands about their abilities to decode their wives messages, regardless of their actual abilities

Question 6

Importance of positivity in communication

Answer 6

Happy partners communicate with more positive behaviors than unhappy partners, who communicate with more negative behaviors

Question 7

Gottman (1979): verbal mismanagement

Answer 7

• cross-complaining
• mind-reading
• kitchen-sinking
• self-summarizing
• meta-communication

Question 8

Communication patterns

Answer 8

• negative affect (emotion) reciprocity and “tit-for-tat” sequences typify for unhappy marriages
• negative reciprocity tends to re-occur over long periods of time
• unhappy wives tend to determine the degree of negative reciprocity
  • they reciprocate perceived negative behaviors and are more likely to respond negatively than are unhappy husbands

Question 9

Classic intersectional pattern

Answer 9

• demand-withdrawal (Christensen & Heavey, 1990)
  • in 60% of cases, woman demands and man withdraws
  • may be a function of differing need for autonomy and closeness
  • may be due to sex-role socialization (woman wanton intimacy, men independence) - especially as roles can reverse on non-intimacy contexts

Question 10

A problem for men in communication

Answer 10

• demand-withdraw pattern may also be due to some men’s physiological arousal during confit
• arousal causes discomfort and motivates behavior (e.g. Withdrawal) to reduce it
• but men are less happy in relationships where problematic issues are avoided so stonewalling works against happiness in the long run

Question 11

“Precarious-couple effect”

Answer 11

• verbal inhibition - a stable personality trait - reluctant to speak about thoughts and feelings
• verbally disinhibition people translate thoughts and feelings into words quickly and without hesitation
• verbally-inhibited men partnered with critical, disinhibition wives - a particularly dysfunctional mateship