Week 5: L2: Conflict In Relationships

Question 0

What do couples fight about?

Answer 0

• issues of inequity - division of labour - males frequently withdraw in response to this conflict
• power and control, infidelity, problematic drug use, gambling, drug use, jealousy and money
• social comparison - both within an between couples, upwards and downwards (Buunk & Ybema, 1997)
• happy couples tend to believe their relationships are superior to others - feel, happy, proud
• distressed couples tend to believe their relationships are worse than others - feel envy and anger

Question 1

Conflict in relationships and effects of chronic conflict

Answer 1

• Inevitable, increases at different relationship stages, greater interdependence means greater potential for conflict, importance is how it is handled
• chronic conflict had been associated with depression, eating disorders, male alcoholism and poorer health (CVD, cancer and chronic pain)
• also associated with poor parenting, poor adjustment of children, increased parent-child and sibling conflict (especially if conflict is frequent, intense and unresolved)

Question 2

Peterson (1983) - 4 common causes of conflict

Answer 2

• criticism
• illegitimate demands
• rebuffs
• cumulative annoyances

Question 3

Stages of conflict

Answer 3

One engagement occurs, conflict will either escalate (with magatcd affect reciprocity setting in), or be negotiated and resolved, or just simmer away with intermittent flare-ups

Question 4

Models of conflict styles - Rusbult, 1980s

-> behaviors

Answer 4

- active, passive, constructive, destructive 
Styles -> behaviors 
- exit 
 • active, destructive 
- voice 
 • active, constructive 
- loyalty 
 • passive, constructive 
- neglect 
 • passive, destructive

Question 5

Accommodation in conflict

Answer 5

• a combination of voice & loyalty behaviors
• involves actively inhibiting the impulse to respond destructively to negative partner behavior
• involves “transformation of motivation” - choose to act constructively for the safe of the relationship

Question 6

Predictors of accommodation

Answer 6

• relationship happiness
• believing there are few later alternatives
• high investment in relationship
• centrality of relationship to individuals life
• relationship commitment
• strong normative support (from others) for relationship continuing

Question 7

Benefits of accommodation

Answer 7

• associated with marital happiness, though strategies vary on adaptiveness
• loyalty is less adaptive than voice
• cognitive reappraisal is more adaptive than emotional suppression

Question 8

Exit and Neglect

Answer 8

• Roberts (2000) - longitudinal study of 97 couples over 3 yrs of marriage
• found both hostile (exit) and distancing (neglect) behaviors had negative implant on marital satisfaction
• identified 3 types of distancing
  • angry withdrawal
  • conflict avoidance
  • intimacy avoidance

Question 9

Conflict avoidance

Answer 9

• may be positive for some couples
• how people handle conflict depends on their schemas and theories about conflict and how it should be resolved
• over time, conflict avoiders tend to be less happy than conflict engagers

Question 10

Gottman’s couple typology

Answer 10

• couples are either regulated or unregulated
• a regulated relationship is one in which couples enact 5 to 1 positive to negative behaviors
• non-regulated relationships are more dysfunctional than regulate relationships

Question 11

Five types of marriages

Answer 11

Regulated/stable
1) volatile - intensely emotional, positive and negative
2) validators - interactions characterized by ease and calm
3) conflict minimisers - emphasis on finding common ground; belief that disagreements are not important
Non-regulated/unstable
4) hostile - much direct engagement in conflict and much defensiveness; much blaming and accusing
5) hostile/detached - ‘guerrilla warfare’ types - generally detached but bitter skirmishes (withdrawing when partner needs care is especially damaging)

Question 12

Non-regulated couples

Answer 12

• more likely to consider ending marriage over 4 year time span than regulated couples
• non-regulated wives - less likely to express interest, caring, joy, enthusiasm, and more likely to express disgust and contempt, than regulated wives
• non-regulated wives and husbands - high frequency of anger and whining

Question 13

Predicting divorce - Gottman, 1994 “four horsemen of the Apocalypse”

Answer 13

Cascading pattern, critical processes leading to relationship breakdown

• complain/criticize
• defensiveness
• contempt
• stonewalling