Week 11 Flashcards
Are prosocial values important for well-being?
Yes - & they are really important at work
What are 4 factors when people are most engaged with their work?
1) when stress is manageable (not too much)
2)Provided with challenges & opportunities to learn new skills
3)Allowed freedom to achieve own solutions to problems
4)Good fit between personality & demands of the organization
What is the 4th sacred emotion?
Kindness/compassion
What is kindness/compassion and what is it not?
It is a fundamental caring that moves us toward helping someone.
-it is not pity or empathy
What are 4 biological basis of compassion?
1) Brain (seems to be wired to respond to many different scenarios in the same compassionate way - Ex=see someone suffering or look at your child)
2) Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) - (responses drop below baseline - the ANS has a very primary role in regulating blood flow and breathing in different actions - think of feeling threatened - fight/flight)
3) Oxytocin (small things like warn smile, lean in, hand gestures - the person doing it produces oxytocin) (compassion may be SELF-PERPETUATING - want to do more of it - start doing small things to increase)
4) Reward System (feel pleasure = much more likely to do it again - compassion activates reward system)
What are 7 benefits of kindness/compassion?
· positive emotion less genetically linked than negative emotion
1) improves life expectancy
2) enhances the welfare of others
3) less loneliness
4) better health
a) stronger immune response
b) Less pain
c) Less bodily aches
d) Increases health benefits of those with chronic illness
e) Lower levels of depression
f) Volunteering- 2x more protective of cardiac disease than aspirin
5) Increases individuals happiness- giving to others has strong effect
· individuals donate more when it is spontaneous.
6) Good for self perception- when we see ourselves as a generous person
7) Good social consequence – some believe biggest factor
a) Reciprocity- when people give to others others might give to them when they are in need (Ex = Lori’s screen door)
b) Contagion- kindness/ compassion is one of the most contagious virtues we have (up to 3 degrees of separation - the original people don’t even need to ever be known)
c) Elevation- the tendency for people to become noble, altruistic, or kind when they see other people do the same
d) Cooperation and social connection- we feel connected to people who are compassionate and kind to us and the person who was compassionate and kind feels connected to us
What did David Buss’ survey of over 10,000 people from 37 countries find?
“Is kindness sexy”?
· Altruistic behavior increases the likelihood of finding a partner in the next year - volunteer and Lori says to email her! (think of Mom & Dad)
· Kindness and good character most important attribute
· Kind people are less likely to cheat on their partner
· Is kindness a factor in sexual attraction
What are 5 challenges to kindness and compassion?
1) Being Busy (only 10% if feeling rushed - Ex= Lori helping the elderly lost woman)
2) Video Games (violent images)
3) Encountering people from different groups from you (tend to be kind to people who resemble ourselves - challenge of how to transcend that boundary)
4) Feeling that help is not possible or that you do not have the capacity to help (want to cultivate efficacy/empowerment- Ex=take a 1st aid course)
5) Cultural considerations (Eastern cultures may tend to encourage compassion more naturally because of a collectivist framework)
What is self-compassion and what is it not?
It is confronting one’s own suffering with warmth and kindness, without judgement.
-it is not self-forgiveness
Why do people struggle with self-compassion?
because of the fear of letting themselves off the hook
Does self-compassion make us selfish?
actually hold the self to higher standard of morality and increase willingness to be responsible for misbehavior
What does research indicate about self-compassionate people?
tend to have a more stable sense of self-worth, so they feel less threatened when considering their own shortcomings. Therefore, can more readily admit wrong-doing and consider making amends (really valuable for both people)
What does a self-compassionate approach towards procrastination do?
moves people more towards goals
What are 4 points on how to practice self-compassion?
1) Be mindful
(don’t judge or analyze - just notice what you are feeling)
2) Remember that you are not alone (everyone experiences but causes may be different - all struggle with this in some way)
3) Be kind to yourself (say things like “may I just accept this as is/be patient with myself?”)
4) Self-compassionate writing
a) Self-compassion letter - develop AFTER you’ve already started kinder attitude towards self
b) writing about regrets (“imagine talking to self about it form compassionate & understanding perspective. What would you say?”)
What does self-compassion solidify?
self-worth
