Scenes 5 & 6: Bassmaster 1300 AD Classic! (pg 31-35) & There Are No Crab People (pg 35-36) Flashcards
(Narrator 1 begins making ocean sounds; Fishergirl enters, carrying a fishing pole.)
Here we are at the Bassmaster 1300 AD classic! What are they playing for, Mira?
Narrator 1: They’re playing for food on the table!
Sounds great! Sounds great! What do you think your chances are out there, miss?
Fishergirl: Well I just wanna stay within myself and take one fish at a time. You know, just do my thing.
What about your competition out there?
Narrator 1: …All the people in the village are starving!
Do you think that helps or hurts your chances?
Fishergirl: You never really want to see anyone starve-
But if they’re starving they can’t put up a fight, so that’s gotta be good for ya, right?
Fishergirl: I guess.
You guess. You’re a kidder. All right, start your…boats!
Narrator 1: She really hasn’t had a lot of luck yet.
What kind of lure is she using, Mira?
Narrator 1: I can’t see for sure, but oh, it appears to be a worm on a hook. Yes it is. I can confirm that now: A worm on a hook.
She’s going the traditional route.
Narrator 1: And the cracks are beginning to show!
Let’s see how the other competitors are doing!
Narrator 1: Shocking developments, Zach! All the other competitors have starved to death! I didn’t see that one coming.
Wait. Wait a minute!
Narrator 1: And she appears to have caught a wish-granting fish, Zach.
Those give you double points in the standings. I think she’s gonna take the cup.
Narrator 1: Especially since everyone else is dead.
Unless she uses her wish to bring them all back from the dead as zombies, when their catches would still count in the final standings.
Narrator 1: I think bringing back the rest of the town as zombies would be a mistake, Zach. I saw that happen once in ‘72 and let me tell you, there was a lot of decapitation that day.
Wait, I think she’s gonna make the wish.
Fishergirl: I wish…for three more wishes.
Oh! Brilliant move!
Talking Fish: Wait! How about two wishes?
Fishergirl: Okay.
Wow! That took guts!
Fishergirl: It’s a compound wish.
Let’s see what the judge says.
(A buzzer sounds)
Ooh.
Narrator 1: Good idea, though.
The judge didn’t buy it.
Fishergirl: Maybe I should have thought about that a little more.
She probably should’ve, because the next thing you know, she was living in a house made out of candy as a witch.
Fishergirl: I really could go for some thighs.
Of course, that leaves us with another question.
Narrator 1: Why would he cheat on me if he loves me?
No that’s not the question. The question is: where did the talking fish come from?
Narrator 1: Oh I know! Once upon a time there were two crab people.
What?
Narrator 1: Crab people. They’re part crab. They hate humanity. You haven’t heard of them?
No.
Crab Person 2: Yes. I, too, despise the people above.
Wait, hold on.
Crab Person 2: Death to humans!
There are no Crab People!
Crab Person 2: You have not heard the last of the crab people!
So where did the talking fish come from?
Narrator 1: The moon.
The moon?
Narrator 1: I don’t know! It doesn’t say! I’m going crazy here! There’s a lot of pressure to make this all make sense.
Well I think we ought to investigate the origin of the fish.
