Scene 12: Little Red Riding Hood (pg. 62-69) Flashcards
The Wolf: …help…me.
Whoah, Whoah, Whoah, hold on!
The Wolf: Get her off me, she’s crazy!
This is a children’s story! You can’t have Little Red being a bat-swinging psychopath!
Narrator 1: I don’t see any problem with it.
This is a children’s story.
Narrator 1: …A story for children. Right. With a nice moral.
What’s the moral?
Narrator 1: Never go outside. Ever.
Fine but there’s no bat in the original.
Narrator 1: Quiet. What do you want to do then?
I say we tell this like an actual children’s story, instead of a nightmare-inducing slasher movie.
Little Red: Can I still have my bat? I don’t feel safe without it.
No! Off-stage!
Narrator 1: And Little Red lived a long long life until she got the Alzheimers.
That was a shame.
Narrator 1: Yeah.
So to recap, Once upon a time, there was a little girl, who got eaten by a wolf, married a woodcutter, and had a daughter who married a demon, who then gave birth to the devil, who cursed a doctor until he became a dwarf-
Dwarf 1: Little person!
Who met up with another dwarf-
Dwarf 2: Little person!
Who rescued a girl from a witch who married a prince and had a son who was cursed by that same witch into becoming a frog, who was friends with a talking fish, who was caught by a fishergirl who became a different witch who got killed trying to eat two little children, one of whom grew up to marry a prince, who had a daughter who made a series of unfortunate deals with a trio of supernatural beings who had another daughter Rapunzel, who was taken by an Enchantress and locked in a tower until she was rescued by another prince. And there were no crab people.
