Quotes/One-Liners/Jokes Flashcards
One-liner
“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks,…
…but in how it thinks.”
Identify the person who authored this quote:
‘We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glowworm.’
Winston Churchill
One-liner
“Those who can make you believe absurdities,…
…can make you commit atrocities.”
(Voltaire)
Quote
Identify the author of the following quote:
“Life is tragic simply because the earth turns and the sun inexorably rises and sets, and one day, for each of us, the sun will go down for the last, last time. Perhaps the whole root of our trouble, the human trouble, is that we will sacrifice all the beauty of our lives, will imprison ourselves in totems, taboos, crosses, blood sacrifices, steeples, mosques, races, armies, flags, nations, in order to deny the fact of death, the only fact we have.
It seems to me that one ought to rejoice in the fact of death – ought to decide, indeed, to earn one’s death by confronting with passion the conundrum of life.
One is responsible for life: It is the small beacon in that terrifying darkness from which we come and to which we shall return.”
James Baldwin
One-liner
“Exceptional claims demand…
… exceptional evidence.”
One-liner
‘I can only ________ it to you. I can’t ________ it for you.’
‘I can only explain it to you. I can’t understand it for you.’
One-liner
‘You know, I’m well above the global average in size…’
‘…of course, that average includes women too.’
Identify the person who authored this quote:
‘It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.’
Ralph Waldo Emerson
One-liner
“In the information age, ignorance…
…is a personal decision.”
Identify the person who authored this quote:
‘Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt.’
Mark Twain
Quote
Finish this quote and identify the author:
“For this is your home, my friend, do not be driven from it; great men have done great things here, and will again,…”
Finish this quote and identify the author:
“For this is your home, my friend, do not be driven from it; great men have done great things here, and will again, and we can make America what America must become.”
James Baldwin
One-liner
“I do not expect my religion to be verifiably true. I do, however,…
… require that it not be verifiably false.”
One-liner
If you can’t convince them,…
…confuse them.
One-liner
In response to conservative-minded friends who still take government benefits:
“Tis… “
In response to conservative-minded friends who still take government benefits:
“Tis for me, but not for thee.”
One-liner
‘You know what they say about the difference between ignorance and apathy?’
‘Don’t know, don’t care!’
One-liner
Have you ever heard the old Yiddish saying?
‘To a worm in…
Have you ever heard the old Yiddish saying?
‘To a worm in horseraddish, everything is horseraddish.’
Identify the person who authored this quote:
‘Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.’
Albert Einstein
What did Richard Feynman say about the types of questions and answers he prefers?
‘I would rather have questions that can’t be answered than answers that can’t be questioned.’
One-liner
People tend to make _______ for others and _______ for themselves.
People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
“When an honest man discovers he is mistaken, he will either…
…cease to be mistaken or cease to be honest.”
One-liner
I didn’t fight my way to the top of the ________ chain just to be a _________.
I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food** chain just to be a **vegetarian.
Identify the person who authored this quote:
‘When words fail, music speaks.’
Shakespeare
One-liner
Sex is not the _________ to anything. Sex is the _________. “Yes” is the __________.
Sex is not the answer to anything. Sex is the question. “Yes” is the answer.
One-liner
‘I doubt…
…therefore I might be.’
Anecdote
“A man is at the funeral of an old friend. He approaches the dead man’s wife, and asks if he could say a word. The wife says that yes, he could. The man stands up, clears his throat, and says ‘Plethora.’
The wife smiles, and says…
‘…thank you, that means a lot.’”
Joke
THE SCIENTIST AND GOD
A scientist approaches God, and says to Him, “Look, God, _________________________. Nowadays, we can do all sorts of things that used to be considered miraculous. We can transplant organs, giving new life to a dying man, we can cure almost any disease, and we can even clone animals. It won’t be long, and we’ll be able to clone humans, too. So, I’m sorry, but you are just outdated”.
God listens patiently to the scientist and says, “I can see that you believe you don’t need me, and I understand. However, I love you, and I don’t want to see you make a big mistake, so why don’t we make sure? I say we should ______________________, just to be sure.”
The scientist replies, “I’ll take that challenge”.
So, God says, “Ok, let’s do it the way I did it in the old days, with Adam and Eve”. The scientists says, “No problem”, and reaches down to _______________.
“Whoa, hold on there a minute, buddy,” God says. “__________________”.
THE SCIENTIST AND GOD
A scientist approaches God, and says to Him, “Look, God, we don’t need you anymore. Nowadays, we can do all sorts of things that used to be considered miraculous. We can transplant organs, giving new life to a dying man, we can cure almost any disease, and we can even clone animals. It won’t be long, and we’ll be able to clone humans, too. So, I’m sorry, but you are just outdated”.
God listens patiently to the scientist and says, “I can see that you believe you don’t need me, and I understand. However, I love you, and I don’t want to see you make a big mistake, so why don’t we make sure? I say we should have a man-making contest, just to be sure.”
The scientist replies, “I’ll take that challenge”.
So, God says, “Ok, let’s do it the way I did it in the old days, with Adam and Eve”. The scientists says, “No problem”, and reaches down to scoop up a handful of dirt.
“Whoa, hold on there a minute, buddy,” God says. “You get your OWN dirt”.
One-liner
“It is true that we all have bias, but…
bias is not all we have.”
One-liner
‘You know what they say about a zoo with only one dog…
usually, it’s a Shih Tzu.’
Quotes
What term does Bryan Stevenson (founder of the Equal Justice Initiative) ascribe to those who spend their time protecting the indigent and oppressed from metaphorical public stonings (it becomes much less metaphorical in the case of the death penalty) and injustice?
‘Stonecatchers’
Identify the person who authored this quote:
‘What we think, we become.’
The Buddha
Identify the person who authored this quote:
‘A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows.’
Mark Twain
One-liner
‘Say what you want about atheistic organizations…
…but they’re all non-prophets.’
One-liner
Sarte said, ‘hell…
is other people.’
Identify the person who authored this quote:
‘She is a peacock in everything but beauty.’
Oscar Wilde
One-liner
“[Friend] told me 2 years ago, that he had joined a support group for procrastinators. I asked him recently, ‘how are you getting on?’ and he said…
…‘we haven’t met yet.’”
Identify the person who authored this quote:
‘Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.’
Mark Twain
One-liner
“If life gives you melons…
…you might be dyslexic.”
Identify the person who authored this quote:
‘To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.’
Ralph Waldo Emerson
What did Julius Caeser say to his friend when his friend betrayed him with a group of assassin senators?
‘Et tu, Brute?’
(And you, Brutus?
You also, Brutus?
Even you, Brutus?)
One-liner
If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb up your ____, and jump to your ____.
If I wanted to kill myself, I’d climb up your ego, and jump to your IQ.
One-liner
“Before I start my speech, the management of this hotel have asked me to point out that the ‘Wet Floor’ sign in the gents’ bathroom…
…is a warning not an instruction.”
One-liner
“That which can be asserted without evidence,…
…can be dismissed without evidence.”
One-liner
“If I agreed with you…
…then we’d both be wrong.”
Identify the person who authored this quote:
“I cannot remember the books I’ve read any more than the meals I have eaten; even so, they have made me.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
One-liner
‘How do you leave Vegas with a small fortune?’
‘Go in with a larger one.’
One-liner
Bertrand Russell said, “do not fear to be eccentric in opinion…
…for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.”
Identify the person who authored this quote:
‘A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.’
Oscar Wilde
Quote
“White people in this country will have quite enough to do in learning how to accept and love themselves and each other, and when they have achieved this – which will not be tomorrow and may very well be never – the Negro problem will no longer exist, for it will no longer be needed.”
James Baldwin
One-liner
Materialism: ___________ we don’t need with ___________ we don’t have to ___________ that don’t matter.
Materialism: buying things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people that don’t matter.
Quote
Sir Francis Bacon said:
“Reading maketh a __________;
conference a __________;
and writing an __________.”
Sir Francis Bacon said:
“Reading maketh a full man;
conference a ready man;
and writing an exact man.”
One-liner
The right to be heard does not automatically include…
…the right to be taken seriously.
One-liner
‘It’s cruel to enter a battle of wits…
…with an unarmed opponent.’
Identify the person who authored this quote:
‘I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.’
Albert Einstein
One-liner
You know the old line? Don’t argue with an idiot. He’ll drag you down to his level and…
…beat you with experience.
One-liner
- “Womb to _______;*
- birth to _______;*
- sperm to _______”*
- “Womb to tomb;*
- birth to earth;*
- sperm to worm”*
Identify the person who authored this quote:
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”
Aristotle
Quote
- ‘Religion is at its best when __________________________________*
- …It is at its worst when*
- __________________________________.’*
- Archibald Macleish
- ‘Religion is at its best when it makes us ask hard questions of ourselves.*
- …It is at its worst when*
_it deludes us into thinking we have all the answers for everybody else_.’
- Archibald Macleish
One-liner
“A rat in a maze is free to go wherever he wants,…
…as long as he stays in the maze.”
One-liner
Einstein said, ‘two things are infinite:…
…the universe and human stupidity;
and I’m not sure about the universe.”
What did Arthur C. Clarke say about technology and magic?
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”
One-liner
‘I’d challenge you to a battle of wits, but…
…I see that you are unarmed.’
One-liner
Which scientist, in defending his ‘nebular hypothesis’ that our solar system’s planets formed from the dust and gas orbiting the young sun in its protoplanetary disk, responded to Napoleon Bonaparte’s question about God’s place in this model by saying, “I had no need of that hypothesis.”
Pierre-Simon LaPlace
One-liner
How do you say, ‘let the good times roll’ in French?
Laissez les bons temp rouler!
(Lah-zay lay bahn tahm hroo-lay!)
Quote
What did Ralph Waldo Emerson say about misinterpreting pushback about ideas as persecution?
“Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.”
One-liner
Before crowbars were invented…
Before crowbars were invented, all the crows used to have to drink at home.
In denying free will, it’s not the will to act that is missing, it’s…
In denying free will, it’s not the will to act that is missing, it’s the will to will.
The will to act is the innate portion of our minds, the drives/urges. This all comes naturally without any active, conscious human effort or ability to change it.
