Module 6: Communication and Sexuality Flashcards
what is the single most significant and recurrent problem in relationships
inability of a couple to communicate effectively
what does most marital counseling involve
an effort to bring about effective communication
define communication
- the exchange of messages between two or more people
- includes content and process
define content
- what you are actually trying to communicate
- the message
define process
- how you communicate the content
- face-to-face, electronically, etc.
which aspect of communication typically causes problems
the process
list characteristics of how men generally communicate
- focus on power/rank/status
- talk to give information or report
- talk about things (classes, business, food)
- focus on facts, reason, and logic
- thrive on competing and achieving
- are more assertive
- posture is more relaxed
- touching is associated with sexual interest
- take up more space physically
list characteristics of how women generally communicate
- focus on relationships
- talk to collect information or gain rapport
- talk about people/relationships
- focus on feelings, senses, and meaning
- thrive on harmony and relating
- are more cooperative
- use more facial expression, eye contact, and body proximity
- take up less space physically
what does female self-perception often come from
their relationships
when is the best time to discuss important or difficult issues
- alone together
- in private
- no distractions
- have ample time to talk
- rested and sober
define congruent messages
- what you’re saying matches how you are saying it
- verbal and nonverbal communication matches
define verbal messages
- what you are saying
- can be oral or text
define nonverbal messages
- everything other than verbal messages
- body language, posture, facial expressions
what do people pay more attention to: verbal or nonverbal messages
nonverbal messages
define open-ended questions
- broad questions designed to elicit a great deal of information
- recommended for effective communication
define closed-ended questions
- type of questions that yields little information and can be answered in one word
- not recommended for effective communication
define reflective listening
- one person restates the meaning of what their partner has said in a conversation
- keeps you from withdrawing from the conversation and being defensive
define “I” statements
statements that focus on the feelings and thoughts of the communicator without making a judgement on what the other person says or does
define “you” statements
blame or criticize the listener and often result in increasing negative feelings and behavior in the relationship
what is the template for “I” statements
- I feel…
- when you…
- because…
- I need…
list the steps to resolving conflict in relationships
- approach communication from a place of respect and negotiation
- address recurring issues
- focus on what you want (rather than what you don’t want)
- find out your partner’s point of view
- generate win-win solutions to the conflict
- evaluate and select a solution
list reasons why sexual relationships are difficult
- we learn not to communicate about sex
- we have very few “sexual relationship” role models
- we have anxieties about exposing ourselves/being vulnerable
- we don’t know how complex sexual relationships are
- we make mistakes
