Identity, Courtship, & Couple Dynamics (US) Flashcards
Moris’ Twelve Steps to the US courtship ritual
eye to body
eye to eye
voice to voice
hand to hand
arm to shoulder
arm to waist
mouth to mouth
hand to head
hand to body
mouth to breast
hand to genitals
genitals to genitals
Courtship v. Quasicourtship
Phases of Quasicourtship
Albert Scheflen
Key Focus: Scheflen focused on non-verbal communication in social and therapeutic contexts, with particular attention to quasicourtship cues—non-verbal behaviors that signal attraction, readiness for interaction, or openness, but not necessarily romantic intent. He explored how men and women unconsciously use body language to communicate interest, affiliation, or dominance, particularly in everyday interactions.
Gender Differences: Scheflen’s analysis of male and female behavior was grounded in how they exhibit non-verbal signals of readiness and openness in various social settings. He highlighted how women may use affiliative behaviors like preening and smiling to signal openness and friendliness, while men may display dominance cues through posture and body positioning to assert authority or attract attention.
Unique Contribution: Scheflen emphasized the ritualistic and subconscious nature of non-verbal behaviors, including how both genders use body language to navigate complex social and power dynamics, even in non-romantic contexts. His analysis of quasicourtship behavior focuses on how both genders use signals that resemble courtship behaviors but are used for broader social purposes, including bonding and affiliation.
Key Work: Scheflen, A. E. (1972). Body Language and the Social Order: Communication as Behavioral Control.
Ray Birdwhistell
Key Focus: Birdwhistell is credited with founding kinesics, the study of body movement and gestures as a form of communication. His research looked at how people use body language within specific social and cultural contexts. Birdwhistell argued that body language, like spoken language, is learned and culturally specific rather than universal.
Gender Differences: Birdwhistell’s work on male and female behavior emphasized the cultural shaping of gendered body language. He explored how societal expectations influence the way men and women gesture, stand, sit, or use facial expressions. For example, he noted that men might be socialized to take up more space or use more expansive gestures to signal dominance, while women might be taught to take up less space and use more restrained gestures.
Unique Contribution: Birdwhistell was particularly interested in how non-verbal communication is influenced by culture and social learning, rather than being purely instinctual. His work suggests that differences in male and female behavior are largely shaped by societal norms and vary significantly across different cultures.
Key Work: Birdwhistell, R. L. (1970). Kinesics and Context: Essays on Body Motion Communication
Desmond Morris
Key Focus: Desmond Morris approached male and female behavior from an ethological and evolutionary perspective. He studied human behavior by comparing it to the behavior of animals, particularly primates, and explored how human non-verbal communication evolved to fulfill biological and social needs. Morris was particularly interested in how body language reflects underlying evolutionary drives related to reproduction, dominance, and survival.
Gender Differences: Morris highlighted biologically rooted differences in male and female behavior, emphasizing that much of what we consider non-verbal communication is rooted in innate, evolutionary behaviors. He suggested that men and women have evolved different body language behaviors based on reproductive strategies, with men more likely to display dominance through expansive postures and assertive gestures, while women may use body language to display attractiveness and signal reproductive fitness (e.g., grooming behaviors or submissive gestures).
Unique Contribution: Morris’ work is grounded in ethology, drawing direct parallels between human non-verbal communication and the behavior of animals. He argued that many gender differences in behavior stem from evolutionary pressures, which shape how men and women signal dominance, attraction, or submission in social and mating contexts.
Key Work: Morris, D. (1967). The Naked Ape: A Zoologist’s Study of the Human Animal.
Comparison of Morris, Birdwhistell, and Scheflen
Scheflen: Focuses on the subconscious and ritualistic nature of body language, with an emphasis on how men and women signal readiness for social interaction and how these behaviors mimic courtship rituals.
Birdwhistell: Takes a cultural and social lens, arguing that gendered body language is largely shaped by societal norms and learned behaviors, which vary across cultures.
Morris: Emphasizes the biological and evolutionary basis of gendered non-verbal behavior, suggesting that these behaviors are deeply rooted in human evolutionary history and tied to reproduction and survival strategies.
Advantages of Immediacy
1) Increased Perceived Attractiveness: Immediacy behaviors often enhance how attractive someone appears to others. Behaviors like eye contact, smiling, and positive body language can create an inviting atmosphere, which makes the individual seem more appealing and approachable.
Research Example: Studies have shown that people rate individuals who use more immediacy behaviors (e.g., smiling, leaning forward) as more attractive and likable during social interactions .
2) Facilitates Emotional Connection: Immediacy helps build an emotional bond by signaling that the person is interested and engaged. In courtship, this can create a sense of mutual interest and deepen feelings of intimacy, as it makes both parties feel more connected.
3) Signals Openness and Availability: By reducing physical and psychological distance, immediacy signals that a person is open to interaction and possibly to further romantic or emotional engagement. This can accelerate the progression of relationships and increase the likelihood of reciprocal attraction.
4) Increases Perceived Confidence: Immediacy behaviors, such as open posture and direct eye contact, are often interpreted as signs of confidence and self-assurance, which are attractive traits in a courtship context.
5) Encourages Reciprocal Interest: When one person uses immediacy behaviors, it often prompts the other person to reciprocate, creating a feedback loop that enhances mutual attraction. It sets a positive tone for further interaction and relationship development.
Disadvantages of Immediacy
1) Overuse Can Be Perceived as Aggressive or Overbearing: Excessive use of immediacy behaviors, especially in the early stages of courtship, can come across as too intense or invasive. For example, standing too close or maintaining excessive eye contact can make the other person feel uncomfortable or pressured.
Research Example: Studies suggest that too much immediacy, especially in a first encounter, can be interpreted as a violation of personal space or overly assertive behavior .
2) Cultural Differences in Immediacy: Immediacy behaviors vary greatly across cultures. What might be seen as warm and engaging in one culture (e.g., close proximity and direct eye contact) could be seen as intrusive or inappropriate in another. This can lead to misunderstandings in intercultural courtship settings.
Example: In some East Asian cultures, direct eye contact can be seen as confrontational or inappropriate in certain contexts, while in Western cultures, it is often seen as a sign of confidence and engagement.
3) Potential for Misinterpretation:
THIS IS A BIG ONE
Immediacy can sometimes be misunderstood as romantic interest when none is intended. For example, friendly gestures like smiling or leaning in might be interpreted as flirtation, which can lead to confusion in social interactions where the intentions are not clear.
4) Imbalance in Immediacy Behaviors: If one person in a courtship situation displays high immediacy (e.g., leaning in, smiling) and the other does not reciprocate, it can create an awkward imbalance. The person using immediacy may appear over-invested or too eager, while the other may seem uninterested or distant, leading to a mismatch in perceptions of attraction.
5) Risk of Invading Personal Space: Some immediacy behaviors, such as moving physically closer or using touch, can cross personal boundaries if not done carefully. This can lead to discomfort or rejection if the other person is not ready for that level of closeness.
Attachment Theory
Key Idea: Developed by John Bowlby and later expanded by Mary Ainsworth, attachment theory explains how early childhood relationships with caregivers shape our expectations and behaviors in romantic relationships. Attachment styles are typically categorized as secure, anxious, avoidant, or disorganized.
Application to Couples: In adult romantic relationships, individuals with a secure attachment style tend to form healthy, trusting relationships. Those with anxious or avoidant attachment styles may struggle with intimacy, leading to patterns of clinginess, insecurity, or emotional distancing. Couples with mismatched attachment styles may experience difficulties in maintaining a stable relationship.
Source: Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (1987). Romantic Love Conceptualized as an Attachment Process. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Social Exchange Theory
Key Idea: Social Exchange Theory, developed by George Homans and expanded by Thibaut and Kelley, posits that relationships are based on a cost-benefit analysis. People seek to maximize rewards (such as companionship, affection, and support) while minimizing costs (such as conflict, stress, or time commitment). The stability of a relationship depends on the balance between the costs and rewards.
Application to Couples: Couples are likely to stay together if both partners feel that the relationship provides more benefits than costs. However, if the perceived costs begin to outweigh the rewards, the relationship may face challenges or dissolve.
Source: Thibaut, J. W., & Kelley, H. H. (1959). The Social Psychology of Groups. John Wiley & Sons.
Equity Theory
Key Idea: Equity Theory, developed by J. Stacy Adams, suggests that satisfaction in a relationship is determined by how fair or equitable each partner perceives the relationship to be. Individuals feel content when their inputs (e.g., effort, time, resources) are proportional to the outcomes they receive (e.g., love, support, shared resources). Perceived inequity can lead to dissatisfaction.
Application to Couples: When one partner feels they are putting more into the relationship than they are receiving, resentment may build. Similarly, over-benefited partners may feel guilt. For a relationship to be successful, both partners need to feel that the relationship is fair and balanced.
Source: Adams, J. S. (1965). Inequity in Social Exchange. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology.
Triangular Theory of Love
Key Idea: Proposed by Robert Sternberg, the Triangular Theory of Love suggests that love has three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Different combinations of these components produce different types of love, such as romantic love (intimacy + passion), companionate love (intimacy + commitment), or consummate love (intimacy + passion + commitment).
Application to Couples: The theory explains how relationships evolve over time. For example, passion may be intense at the beginning of a relationship but may wane over time, while commitment and intimacy can strengthen. Understanding these components helps couples navigate changes in their relationship dynamics.
Source: Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A Triangular Theory of Love. Psychological Review.
Investment Model
Key Idea: Developed by Caryl Rusbult, the Investment Model focuses on the factors that contribute to relationship commitment and stability. The model suggests that three factors predict relationship commitment: satisfaction level, quality of alternatives, and investment size (i.e., the resources a partner has put into the relationship, such as time, emotional energy, or shared property).
Application to Couples: Couples who are highly satisfied, have few appealing alternatives, and have made significant investments in the relationship are more likely to remain committed. Even when satisfaction decreases, the size of the investments can keep partners together.
Source: Rusbult, C. E. (1980). Commitment and Satisfaction in Romantic Associations: A Test of the Investment Model. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
Interdependence Theory
Key Idea: Interdependence Theory, developed by Thibaut and Kelley, looks at how partners in a relationship affect each other’s outcomes. It focuses on the mutual dependence of partners, where each person’s decisions, actions, and satisfaction are influenced by the other. The theory introduces concepts like comparison levels (CL) and comparison level for alternatives (CLalt), which describe how partners evaluate the relationship against their expectations and potential alternatives.
Application to Couples: Couples stay together when both partners feel that their outcomes in the relationship are better than they would be alone or with someone else. Higher levels of interdependence lead to greater commitment.
Source: Thibaut, J. W., & Kelley, H. H. (1959). The Social Psychology of Groups. John Wiley & Sons.
Gottman Method and the “Four Horsemen”
Key Idea: John Gottman’s research on couples focuses on predicting relationship success or failure based on communication patterns. Gottman identified the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—as behaviors that predict relationship breakdown.
Application to Couples: Couples who consistently engage in these negative communication patterns are more likely to experience dissatisfaction and divorce. However, Gottman also emphasizes the importance of repair attempts and positive interactions to maintain a healthy relationship.
Source: Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (1992). Marital Processes Predictive of Later Dissolution: Behavior, Physiology, and Health. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
The Dual Process Model of Relationship Maintenance
Key Idea: The Dual Process Model suggests that relationship maintenance behaviors can be proactive (actions taken to strengthen the relationship before problems arise) or reactive (actions taken to address problems once they occur). These processes help partners sustain the relationship through changes and challenges.
Application to Couples: Successful couples engage in both proactive behaviors, such as expressing appreciation and making time for each other, and reactive behaviors, such as resolving conflicts and managing stress, to maintain a healthy and stable relationship.
Source: Dindia, K., & Canary, D. J. (1993). Definitions and Theoretical Perspectives on Maintaining Relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
Self-Expansion Theory
Key Idea: Self-Expansion Theory, developed by Arthur Aron and colleagues, suggests that individuals are motivated to grow and expand their sense of self. Romantic relationships provide opportunities for this self-expansion by introducing new experiences, ideas, and perspectives. Partners contribute to each other’s personal growth, which can strengthen the relationship.
Application to Couples: Couples who continue to grow together by engaging in novel and exciting activities are more likely to maintain strong, fulfilling relationships. Stagnation, where one or both partners feel that they are no longer growing or benefiting from the relationship, can lead to dissatisfaction.
Source: Aron, A., & Aron, E. N. (1986). Love and the Expansion of Self: Understanding Attraction and Satisfaction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Matching Hypothesis
Key Idea: The Matching Hypothesis, proposed by Elaine Hatfield and colleagues, suggests that people are more likely to form and maintain romantic relationships with individuals who are similar to them in terms of physical attractiveness. The theory posits that, while individuals may desire highly attractive partners, they tend to choose partners whose attractiveness is comparable to their own to avoid rejection and maintain relationship stability.
Application to Couples: Couples who are similar in physical attractiveness may experience greater satisfaction and stability, as they may feel more equal in the relationship. This similarity can reduce insecurity and jealousy, leading to a more balanced and harmonious partnership. The hypothesis also implies that mismatched couples (in terms of attractiveness) may experience greater relational strain due to perceived inequalities.
Source: Walster, E., Aronson, V., Abrahams, D., & Rottmann, L. (1966). Importance of Physical Attractiveness in Dating Behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
John Bowlby
Significant Contribution: Bowlby’s most influential contribution is Attachment Theory, which posits that early relationships with caregivers shape emotional development and behavior in later relationships. He introduced the idea that secure, anxious, and avoidant attachment styles emerge from these early interactions and impact interpersonal relationships throughout life.
Influence: Attachment Theory profoundly influenced not only developmental psychology but also social psychology, as it explains adult romantic attachment patterns. It laid the groundwork for research on how childhood experiences affect emotional bonds in adulthood.
Key Publication: Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and Loss, Vol. 1: Attachment. Basic Books.
Mary Ainsworth
Significant Contribution: Ainsworth expanded Bowlby’s work with the Strange Situation experiment, identifying the three major attachment styles: secure, anxious, and avoidant. Her empirical research provided concrete evidence for Bowlby’s theoretical framework.
Influence: Ainsworth’s identification of specific attachment styles was foundational for understanding adult romantic relationships and interpersonal dynamics. It became a central theory in relationship psychology, influencing research on parent-child interactions and romantic bonds.
Key Publication: Ainsworth, M. D. S. (1978). Patterns of Attachment: A Psychological Study of the Strange Situation. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
George Homans
Significant Contribution: Homans developed Social Exchange Theory, which suggests that human relationships are based on the exchange of rewards and costs. People seek to maximize rewards (like affection or approval) and minimize costs (like conflict or time commitment).
Influence: Social Exchange Theory laid the foundation for numerous theories in relationship and group dynamics, including interpersonal relationships, organizational behavior, and social networks. It revolutionized the understanding of human interaction as a form of economic exchange.
Key Publication: Homans, G. C. (1958). Social Behavior as Exchange. American Journal of Sociology, 63(6), 597-606.
John Thibaut & Harold Kelley
Significant Contribution: Thibaut and Kelley are best known for developing Interdependence Theory, which examines how the mutual dependence of partners affects relationship stability. They introduced concepts such as comparison levels (CL) and comparison level for alternatives (CLalt) to explain how people evaluate their relationships.
Influence: This theory became a cornerstone for understanding relationship satisfaction and commitment. It also led to the development of models that explain decision-making processes in relationships and how partners balance personal needs with mutual dependence.
Key Publication: Thibaut, J. W., & Kelley, H. H. (1959). The Social Psychology of Groups. John Wiley & Sons.
J. Stacy Adams
Significant Contribution: Adams developed Equity Theory, which posits that individuals seek fairness and equity in relationships. Satisfaction arises when their inputs (effort, resources) are balanced with their outcomes (rewards, recognition). Inequity leads to dissatisfaction.
Influence: Equity Theory has had a profound impact on understanding both interpersonal relationships and workplace dynamics, emphasizing the importance of perceived fairness in maintaining satisfaction and reducing conflict.
Key Publication: Adams, J. S. (1965). Inequity in Social Exchange. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 2, 267-299.
Robert Sternberg
Significant Contribution: Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love proposes that love consists of three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Different combinations of these components result in various types of love, such as romantic love, companionate love, or consummate love.
Influence: Sternberg’s theory provided a comprehensive framework for understanding the dynamics of romantic relationships and how they evolve over time. It remains a widely referenced model for studying the complexity of love in relationships.
Key Publication: Sternberg, R. J. (1986). A Triangular Theory of Love. Psychological Review, 93(2), 119-135.
Caryl Rusbult
Significant Contribution: Rusbult developed The Investment Model, which posits that commitment in relationships is determined by three factors: satisfaction, the quality of alternatives, and investment in the relationship. The more invested individuals are, the more likely they are to remain committed, even during tough times.
Influence: The Investment Model has become one of the leading frameworks for understanding relationship stability and commitment. It explains why people stay in relationships, including those that are dissatisfying, based on the investments they have made.
Key Publication: Rusbult, C. E. (1980). Commitment and Satisfaction in Romantic Associations: A Test of the Investment Model. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 16(2), 172-186.
John Gottman
Significant Contribution: Gottman is best known for his research on marital stability and for identifying the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling, which predict relationship breakdown. His work focuses on how couples can repair relationships through positive interactions and emotional attunement.
Influence: Gottman’s research revolutionized the field of relationship counseling by providing concrete, empirically-based tools to predict and improve marital stability. His work is widely used in therapeutic settings to help couples avoid negative communication patterns.
Key Publication: Gottman, J. M., & Levenson, R. W. (1992). Marital Processes Predictive of Later Dissolution: Behavior, Physiology, and Health. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 63(2), 221-233.
Kathryn Dindia & Daniel Canary
Significant Contribution: Dindia and Canary developed the Dual Process Model, which differentiates between proactive and reactive relationship maintenance behaviors. They emphasized that couples must engage in both types of behaviors to sustain relationship health over time.
Influence: This model highlighted the importance of ongoing effort and adaptability in relationships. It is especially influential in understanding how long-term couples maintain relationship satisfaction through both preventative and problem-solving strategies.
Key Publication: Dindia, K., & Canary, D. J. (1993). Definitions and Theoretical Perspectives on Maintaining Relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 10(2), 163-173.
Arthur Aron
Significant Contribution: Aron’s Self-Expansion Theory posits that individuals are motivated to grow and expand their sense of self, and romantic relationships provide a unique opportunity for personal growth through shared experiences. The more self-expansion partners experience, the more satisfying the relationship.
Influence: This theory has greatly influenced research on relationship satisfaction, emphasizing the importance of personal growth within the context of romantic relationships. It has practical implications for how couples can keep their relationships exciting and fulfilling.
Key Publication: Aron, A., & Aron, E. N. (1986). Love and the Expansion of Self: Understanding Attraction and Satisfaction. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 50(3), 535-546.
Elaine Hatfield (formerly Walster)
Significant Contribution: Hatfield introduced the Matching Hypothesis, which argues that people are more likely to form and maintain relationships with others who are similar to them in terms of physical attractiveness. It highlights how perceived equality in attractiveness contributes to relationship stability.
Influence: The Matching Hypothesis influenced research on mate selection and attraction, offering an empirical explanation for why couples often appear to be similarly matched in physical appearance.
Key Publication: Walster, E., Aronson, V., Abrahams, D., & Rottmann, L. (1966). Importance of Physical Attractiveness in Dating Behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 4(5), 508-516.
The “Bridge Experiment”
Dutton & Aron, (1974)
Key Researchers: Donald Dutton and Arthur Aron
Purpose: This study investigated the role of misattribution of arousal in romantic attraction. The researchers wanted to determine whether physiological arousal (from fear) could be misattributed as romantic attraction.
Method: Male participants were asked to cross either a high, swaying suspension bridge (high-arousal condition) or a low, stable bridge (low-arousal condition). After crossing the bridge, they were approached by an attractive female experimenter, who gave them her phone number for a “follow-up interview.” The researchers tracked how many participants called the experimenter afterward.
Findings: Men who crossed the high-arousal bridge were more likely to call the experimenter, suggesting that they misattributed the physiological arousal from the fear of crossing the bridge as romantic attraction.
Impact: This experiment provided key insights into how emotional and physiological arousal can influence attraction and relationship initiation, influencing research on attraction and emotion.
The “Love Lab” Studies
Gottman & Levenson (1992)
Key Researchers: John Gottman and Robert Levenson
Purpose: Gottman and Levenson conducted studies to observe physiological and behavioral patterns in couples to predict marital stability and divorce.
Method: In their “Love Lab” at the University of Washington, couples were asked to discuss areas of conflict in their relationship while being monitored for physiological responses such as heart rate, skin conductance, and facial expressions. These sessions were followed up over several years.
Findings: The researchers found that couples who displayed high physiological arousal during conflicts (e.g., elevated heart rates) and negative behaviors (such as criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling) were more likely to divorce. Gottman’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse emerged from this work.
Impact: This research had a profound influence on relationship counseling, offering empirical tools for predicting relationship success or failure and helping couples develop healthier communication patterns.
The “36 Questions” Experiment
Aron (1997)
Key Researcher: Arthur Aron
Purpose: This study aimed to explore how self-disclosure and intimate conversation can foster closeness and romantic connection between strangers.
Method: Pairs of strangers were asked to engage in a structured 45-minute conversation using a set of 36 increasingly personal questions. Afterward, they were asked to report how close they felt to their partner. In some cases, participants were asked to gaze into each other’s eyes for four minutes following the conversation.
Findings: The study found that self-disclosure and mutual vulnerability created a sense of closeness, even between strangers. Participants reported feeling significantly closer to their partner after the conversation, and in some cases, long-term romantic relationships developed.
Impact: The 36 Questions became widely used as a tool for increasing intimacy in both romantic and non-romantic relationships, highlighting the role of self-disclosure in fostering closeness.
The Matching Hypothesis Experiment
Walster (1966)
Key Researchers: Elaine Walster (Hatfield), Aronson, Abrahams, and Rottmann
Purpose: This experiment aimed to test the Matching Hypothesis, which suggests that people tend to pair up with others who are similar in physical attractiveness.
Method: The researchers conducted a large-scale “computer dance” at the University of Minnesota, where participants (752 male and female college students) were paired randomly with a partner for a dance. The participants’ attractiveness was rated by independent judges, and after the dance, the students were asked to rate their dates. Follow-up data was collected on whether participants wanted to see their partner again.
Findings: The results showed that participants were more likely to want to see their partner again if they were of similar attractiveness, supporting the Matching Hypothesis. However, the initial desire to see their partner was also influenced by the partner’s overall attractiveness, regardless of similarity.
Impact: This experiment confirmed the role of physical attractiveness in mate selection and led to further studies on similarity in relationships.
The “Strange Situation” Experiment
Ainsworth (1978)
Study Focus: Attachment styles in children and later application to adult relationships.
Description: Mary Ainsworth conducted the Strange Situation experiment to study attachment between infants and their caregivers. Infants were briefly separated from their mothers and then reunited. Ainsworth observed how the infants reacted to the separation and reunion, identifying three primary attachment styles: secure, anxious, and avoidant.
Key Finding: The experiment led to the understanding that early attachment styles influence adult relationships. Adults with secure attachments tend to form healthier, more stable relationships, while those with anxious or avoidant attachments may struggle with intimacy and trust.
The “Four Horsemen” Study
Gottman (1992)
Purpose: Gottman conducted longitudinal studies to identify communication patterns that predict divorce and marital satisfaction. He was particularly focused on identifying negative behaviors that contribute to relationship dissolution.
Method: Couples were observed in a lab setting as they discussed areas of conflict in their relationship. Gottman monitored their physiological responses (e.g., heart rate) and verbal and non-verbal communication behaviors. He later followed up with these couples over several years.
Findings: Gottman identified the “Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse”—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—as predictors of divorce. Of these, contempt was found to be the most destructive behavior.
Impact: This research led to the development of the Gottman Method, widely used in couples therapy to improve communication and resolve conflicts by avoiding these toxic behaviors.
Investment Model Experiment
Rusbult (1980)
Key Researcher: Caryl Rusbult
Purpose: This study aimed to test The Investment Model, which suggests that relationship commitment is determined by satisfaction, the quality of alternatives, and the level of investment in the relationship.
Method: Participants were asked to evaluate their current relationships based on the three components of the model: satisfaction, investment, and quality of alternatives. They were then tracked over time to see how these factors predicted relationship commitment and whether the relationship persisted.
Findings: The results showed that higher satisfaction, greater investment, and fewer appealing alternatives predicted stronger commitment and relationship longevity. Investments in the relationship, such as shared time, emotional energy, and resources, made partners more likely to remain committed even in the face of dissatisfaction.
Impact: The Investment Model has become one of the most widely used frameworks for understanding relationship commitment and stability, especially in long-term relationships.
The Self-Expansion Questionnaire
Aron (1992)
Key Researcher: Arthur Aron
Purpose: This study aimed to test Self-Expansion Theory, which posits that individuals are motivated to grow by incorporating aspects of their partner into their own identity, and that this expansion contributes to relationship satisfaction.
Method: Aron and his team developed the Self-Expansion Questionnaire to measure how much a person feels their partner has expanded their self-concept. Participants in romantic relationships completed the questionnaire, and their satisfaction levels were assessed.
Findings: The study found that greater feelings of self-expansion were linked to higher relationship satisfaction, suggesting that individuals who feel they are growing through their relationship are more likely to have fulfilling partnerships.
Impact: The study supported Self-Expansion Theory as a key factor in relationship satisfaction and has led to interventions that encourage couples to engage in novel, exciting activities together to enhance satisfaction.
The Minnesota Longitudinal Study of Risk and Adaptation
Sroufe (2005)
Key Researchers: Alan Sroufe and colleagues
Purpose: This long-term study followed children from infancy through adulthood to explore how early attachment patterns influence romantic relationships later in life.
Method: The study tracked participants’ attachment patterns as children, based on their interactions with their caregivers, and followed them into adolescence and adulthood to assess their romantic relationships and emotional functioning.
Findings: The study found that early secure attachment was associated with healthier, more stable romantic relationships later in life, while insecure attachment was linked to difficulties in emotional regulation and relationship stability.
Impact: The findings provided longitudinal evidence for the role of early attachment in shaping adult romantic relationships, confirming many of the key predictions of Attachment Theory.
Mere Exposure Effect Experiment
Key Researcher: Robert Zajonc (1968)
Purpose: This experiment tested the Mere Exposure Effect, which suggests that repeated exposure to a stimulus leads to increased liking for that stimulus, including in interpersonal relationships.
Method: Participants were exposed to different stimuli (such as words, faces, or objects) at varying frequencies. After repeated exposures, participants were asked to rate how much they liked the stimuli.
Findings: The study found that individuals rated stimuli they were exposed to more frequently as more likable than unfamiliar stimuli. This phenomenon applies to relationships, as frequent exposure to a person (e.g., classmates, coworkers) can increase feelings of attraction and liking.
Impact: This experiment demonstrated that familiarity can breed attraction, which has significant implications for how relationships form over time, particularly in contexts where people encounter each other frequently.
Berscheid & Walster’s Arousal-Attraction Study (1974)
Key Researchers: Ellen Berscheid and Elaine Walster (Hatfield)
Purpose: This study investigated the role of physiological arousal in the perception of romantic attraction, building on earlier work by Dutton and Aron (1974).
Method: Participants were subjected to different forms of physiological arousal (e.g., physical exercise or emotional stimuli) before meeting an attractive individual. The researchers then measured how much attraction participants felt toward that individual.
Findings: The study supported the idea that individuals can misattribute their physiological arousal (elevated heart rate, excitement) as romantic attraction toward someone they meet under those aroused conditions.
Impact: This research further demonstrated how external factors can influence perceptions of attraction and led to a greater understanding of how emotions and physical arousal contribute to the development of romantic feelings.
The “Speed Dating” Studies
Key Researchers: Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick
Purpose: These studies examined how people make decisions about romantic partners during brief interactions, challenging traditional gender norms about attraction and partner selection.
Method: Finkel and Eastwick conducted speed-dating events where participants had a series of short “dates” (typically 4-5 minutes long) and rated their interest in each partner. The researchers then analyzed the data to determine what factors influenced attraction and relationship interest.
Findings: Contrary to traditional gender norms, the study found that when women were in the role of rotating (instead of sitting and being approached), they were just as likely as men to exhibit behaviors associated with pursuing romantic interests. This challenged long-held assumptions about gender differences in romantic initiation.
Impact: These studies provided new insights into how attraction forms in brief interactions and how gender roles may shift depending on context, such as who is perceived as the “pursuer” in romantic contexts.
Michelangelo Phenomenon Study
Drigotas (1999)
Key Researchers: Stephen Drigotas, Caryl Rusbult, and colleagues
Purpose: This study examined how romantic partners can help “sculpt” each other into their ideal selves over time, a concept known as the Michelangelo Phenomenon.
Method: Couples were asked to complete questionnaires about how they viewed their partners’ current and ideal selves. The researchers then followed the couples over time to assess whether partners’ behaviors helped each other move toward their ideal self-concepts.
Findings: The study found that when partners support and encourage each other’s personal growth toward their ideal selves, relationship satisfaction and individual well-being are enhanced. Conversely, when partners undermine each other’s personal goals, dissatisfaction increases.
Impact: The Michelangelo Phenomenon offers an important perspective on how relationships can foster personal growth and has become a widely studied concept in relationship psychology.
Propinquity Effect Study
Festinger, Schachter, & Back, (1950)
Key Researchers: Leon Festinger, Stanley Schachter, and Kurt Back
Purpose: This study aimed to investigate how physical proximity influences friendship and romantic relationship formation, known as the Propinquity Effect.
Method: The researchers studied residents in a housing complex at MIT to track the formation of friendships and relationships. They recorded which residents lived closest to each other and analyzed how proximity influenced social interaction.
Findings: The study found that people who lived closer to one another (e.g., neighbors or those on the same floor) were more likely to become friends or romantic partners. The effect of proximity on relationship formation was stronger than expected, even more than shared interests or backgrounds.
Impact: The Propinquity Effect has become a foundational concept in social psychology, demonstrating how spatial factors influence interpersonal attraction and relationship formation.
Definition of Attractiveness
The degree to which we perceive another person as someone with whom we would want to associate.
Physiognomy
The study of appearance/appearance based messages
Types of Attractiveness
1) Physical Attractiveness: outside attributes that connect with the degree of which we perceive attractiveness
2) Social Attractiveness: the degree to which we would like to spend time with others
3) Task attractiveness: the degree to which we would like to work with others
*Social attractiveness and task attractiveness affect physical attractiveness
Three body types
1) Endomorph (bigger, slow metabolism)
-Seen a Viserotonic (slow, laid back)
2) Mesomoph (medium structure, efficient metabolism)
-Seen as Somototonic: confident energetic, enterprising, dominant)
3) Ectomorph (lean structure, fast metabolism)
-Seen as Cerbriotonic: tense, awkward, detatched
Three ways attractiveness influence communication
1) “Personal body concept”: perception of our own appearance. It influences the messages to send to others
2) Halo effect: Communicators attribute certain judgements about the psychology of people based on their body shape
3) There are culturally driven perceptions about multiple areas of appearance
Image Fixation
Movement from seeing ones appearance in a positive light to seeing it as concerning
Leads to things like self-harm, and other issues that need counceling
Artifacts
Personal items that people either wear or carry that communicate something about their lives/identity
Can be used for:
1) Comfort
2) Protection
3) Concealment
4) Cultural display
5) Community
6) Self-identification
Halo Effect
Definition: The tendency to assume that a person with one positive trait (e.g., physical attractiveness) has other positive traits, such as intelligence or competence.
Application: Attractive people are often assumed to be more capable, friendly, or trustworthy based on appearance alone.
Reverse Halo Effect (Horn Effect)
Definition: The opposite of the Halo Effect, where a negative trait (e.g., perceived unattractiveness) leads to the assumption that a person has other negative traits, such as being less competent or likable.
Application: Unattractive individuals may be unfairly judged as less skilled, intelligent, or personable based on their appearance.
Attractiveness Bias
Definition: The tendency to favor physically attractive people in various domains, such as hiring, promotions, and social judgments.
Application: Attractive individuals receive more favorable treatment in social, academic, and professional settings due to their appearance.
Physical Attractiveness Stereotype
Definition: The belief that physically attractive individuals possess socially desirable personality traits, leading to preferential treatment.
Application: Attractive people are often perceived as kinder, smarter, and more capable simply due to their appearance.
Self-Serving Bias
Definition: The tendency to attribute one’s successes to internal factors (like skill or intelligence) and one’s failures to external factors (such as bias or bad luck).
Application: People who are unattractive may attribute their difficulties to external factors like societal bias rather than considering internal factors.
Confirmation Bias
Definition: The tendency to search for, interpret, and remember information in a way that confirms one’s preexisting beliefs or stereotypes.
Application: Someone who believes that attractive people are more competent may unconsciously seek out behaviors that confirm this belief, ignoring evidence to the contrary.
Fundamental Attribution Error
Definition: The tendency to overemphasize personal characteristics and underestimate situational factors when judging others’ behaviors.
Application: People may attribute the success of an attractive person to their personal qualities (e.g., intelligence or charm) rather than external factors like societal biases or privilege.
Expectancy Effect
Definition: The phenomenon where a person’s expectations about another individual lead to that individual behaving in ways that confirm the expectations.
Application: If someone expects an attractive person to be confident and capable, that person may behave in ways that reinforce this perception, even if they wouldn’t have otherwise.
In-Group Favoritism
Definition: The tendency to favor people who are perceived as belonging to one’s own social group or who share similar characteristics, such as attractiveness.
Application: Attractive people may be more likely to receive favorable treatment from others who also value physical appearance or who themselves are attractive.
Envy Bias
Definition: The tendency to judge or dislike someone based on feelings of envy, particularly when that person has an advantage, such as physical attractiveness.
Application: Unattractive individuals may harbor envy toward attractive individuals, leading to negative perceptions of them even when their behavior is neutral or positive.
Status Quo Bias
Definition: The preference for maintaining the current state of affairs, often resisting changes or challenging established beliefs.
Application: People may continue to favor attractive individuals in social or professional settings simply because society has long associated attractiveness with positive traits, even if it perpetuates unfair treatment.
Projection Bias
Definition: The tendency to assume that others share the same beliefs, values, or experiences as oneself.
Application: An attractive person may assume that others view situations in the same way they do, unaware that unattractive people may face different challenges or biases
Just-World Hypothesis
Definition: The belief that people get what they deserve, and the world is inherently fair, leading to the assumption that people’s circumstances are a direct result of their actions or character.
Application: Attractive people might be assumed to “deserve” their success because of personal qualities, while unattractive people might be blamed for their difficulties, reinforcing bias against them.
Actor-Observer Bias
Definition: The tendency to attribute one’s own actions to external circumstances while attributing others’ actions to internal characteristics.
Application: An unattractive person might attribute their communication struggles to societal bias, while others might attribute those struggles to personal deficiencies.
Impression Management
Definition: The process by which people attempt to control the impressions others form of them, often by adjusting their behavior or appearance.
Application: Both attractive and unattractive individuals may engage in impression management strategies, such as enhancing nonverbal communication skills or emphasizing internal qualities, to counteract biases based on appearance.
Authenticity
Definition: Authenticity refers to being true to one’s own values, beliefs, and self-identity. It is the alignment between a person’s internal self (thoughts, feelings, beliefs) and their external behaviors or expressions. Authentic individuals act in accordance with their true self, regardless of external pressures or expectations.
Focus: Authenticity is primarily about self-congruence—the match between who someone is internally and how they present themselves to the world. It involves self-awareness, self-acceptance, and acting consistently with one’s core beliefs and values.
Example: An authentic person may refuse to conform to societal trends or expectations if those trends don’t align with their personal values, even if doing so would make them more popular or accepted.
Genuineness
Definition: Genuineness refers to being open, honest, and sincere in interactions with others. It focuses on transparency in communication and expressing one’s thoughts and emotions without deception or hidden motives.
Focus: Genuineness emphasizes honesty in communication and interpersonal interactions. A genuine person speaks and acts in a straightforward manner, without pretense or manipulation, and their interactions are sincere and candid.
Example: A genuine person will express their true feelings or opinions in a conversation, even if it involves vulnerability or admitting to a mistake.
Authenticity v. Genuinenes
Authenticity focuses on being true to oneself and acting in alignment with one’s own identity, while genuineness focuses on being sincere and transparent in how one communicates with others.
Authenticity is more inward-facing, concerned with self-congruence and consistency, while genuineness is more outward-facing, concerned with honesty and openness in relationships and interactions.
Molly Bingaman on Authenticity
Authenticity is the most powerful element of attractiveness
- especially when it is reflected our artifacts
*Molly Bingaman is freelance stylist
Self-Congruence
The idea of self-congruence comes primarily from Carl Rogers, an influential psychologist and founder of client-centered therapy (also known as person-centered therapy). Rogers introduced the concept of self-congruence as part of his broader theory of personality and psychological well-being.
Rogers’ self-theory revolves around the idea that individuals have an innate drive toward growth, fulfillment, and self-actualization. According to Rogers, for a person to achieve psychological well-being, their ideal self (the person they wish to be) and their real self (how they actually are) need to be aligned. This alignment is what Rogers called congruence.
Congruence vs. Incongruence
When a person’s self-concept is aligned with their experiences, they are congruent. If there is a mismatch between the self-concept and experiences (for example, if someone behaves in ways that conflict with their self-perception or values), it leads to incongruence, which can cause psychological discomfort or anxiety.
Affects of Incongruence
1) Internal Conflict: When there is a gap between the internal self and external behavior, it can create feelings of dissatisfaction, stress, or confusion.
2) Negative Emotional States: Incongruence can lead to guilt, anxiety, or frustration, as people may feel they are living inauthentically or not meeting their true potential.
3) Impaired Self-Image: Over time, incongruence can affect self-esteem, as individuals may feel disconnected from their core identity and struggle with self-worth.
Real Self vs. Ideal Self
Real Self: The person you truly are—your actual experiences, thoughts, and behaviors.
Ideal Self: The person you aspire to be or believe you should be based on personal goals or societal expectations.
Three Elements of Self-Congruence
1) Real Self vs. Ideal Self:
Real Self: The person you truly are—your actual experiences, thoughts, and behaviors.
Ideal Self: The person you aspire to be or believe you should be based on personal goals or societal expectations.
Congruence occurs when these two selves overlap, meaning that your actions and experiences are in harmony with your self-concept.
2) Self-Concept and Experiences:
Self-congruence is also about how well your self-concept (your understanding of yourself) matches your experiences in the real world. If you experience events or behave in ways that are consistent with how you see yourself, you are congruent.
Psychological Well-being:
According to Rogers, achieving self-congruence is essential for psychological well-being. People who are congruent tend to experience higher levels of self-esteem, inner peace, and personal satisfaction.
William James
Most Significant Contribution:
William James is most famous for his development of functionalism in psychology and his work on the self in The Principles of Psychology (1890), where he distinguished between the “I” (the subjective self) and the “Me” (the objective self).
Impact of Contribution:
James’s distinction between the “I” and “Me” significantly influenced subsequent theories of the self in psychology and social psychology. He proposed that the self has different aspects: the material self (physical body and possessions), the social self (how we are perceived by others), and the spiritual self (inner thoughts, values, and consciousness). This framework laid the foundation for understanding self-concept and personal identity. James’s work contributed to the development of both American psychology and philosophy, bridging the gap between psychological theory and practical applications in understanding human behavior and cognition.
Publication:
The Principles of Psychology was first published in 1890. It was a seminal two-volume work that became highly influential in both psychology and philosophy, cementing James as a key figure in the study of the mind and behavior.
George Herbert Mead
Most Significant Contribution:
George Herbert Mead is best known for his development of symbolic interactionism and his concept of the “self” as a product of social interaction. His theory of the “social self” emphasizes that our self-concept is formed through our interactions with others and the internalization of how we think others perceive us. His concept of the “I” (the spontaneous, creative aspect of the self) and the “Me” (the socialized, conforming aspect of the self) has been central to social psychology.
Impact of Contribution:
Mead’s work significantly shaped the field of social psychology and sociology, particularly with regard to how individuals develop their self-concept through communication and social interaction. His theory of the self laid the groundwork for the development of symbolic interactionism, which remains a foundational theoretical perspective in sociology, focusing on how human interactions are shaped by the meanings and symbols individuals assign to their social world. Mead’s ideas have also influenced later work on identity, social roles, and the development of the self in social contexts.
Publication:
Mead’s key ideas were published posthumously in 1934 in his book Mind, Self, and Society, based on notes from his lectures. The book is considered his most influential work and remains a cornerstone of symbolic interactionism.
Carl Rogers
Most Significant Contribution:
Carl Rogers is most famous for his development of client-centered therapy (also called person-centered therapy) and his concept of self-actualization. Rogers’s self-theory emphasized the importance of congruence between a person’s real self and their ideal self for achieving psychological well-being. He also introduced the concept of unconditional positive regard in therapeutic settings, where the therapist provides a nonjudgmental, accepting environment that fosters personal growth.
Impact of Contribution:
Rogers’s work revolutionized the field of psychotherapy and significantly influenced humanistic psychology. His client-centered approach shifted the focus of therapy from the therapist’s interpretations to the client’s subjective experience, empowering clients to find their own path to healing and growth. The emphasis on self-actualization and personal development has had a lasting impact on both psychotherapy and educational practices. Rogers’s work also expanded beyond therapy into organizational development, education, and conflict resolution.
Publication:
Rogers first introduced his ideas on client-centered therapy in his book Counseling and Psychotherapy (1942). His more comprehensive work, On Becoming a Person, was published in 1961 and laid out his broader ideas about human potential, self-actualization, and the therapeutic relationship.
James v. Mead v. Rogers
Material Self
Origin: The concept of the material self comes from William James’s idea that a person’s identity is partly defined by the physical possessions, body, and things they have control over. The material self represents the tangible and external aspects of a person’s identity.
Definition: The material self includes our physical body, possessions, and physical surroundings that we associate with our sense of self. This part of the self reflects what we own and the objects or spaces that define us externally.
Example: A person’s clothes, house, car, or even their physical appearance (how they look) are parts of their material self. If these material possessions are lost or damaged, it can impact how an individual feels about themselves.
Key Difference: The material self is focused on ownership and physicality—it is the outward reflection of a person’s identity based on their body and belongings.
Social Self
Origin: The social self originates from James’s observation that we present ourselves differently in various social contexts and are influenced by how others perceive us. James proposed that we have not just one social self, but multiple social selves, depending on our social relationships and roles.
Definition: The social self is defined by how we are perceived by others and the roles and identities we take on in different social situations. This part of the self is shaped by interactions with others and is affected by social feedback and social approval.
Example: A person may have different social selves in different contexts—such as being a parent at home, a professional at work, or a friend in a social group. Each role comes with specific expectations and behaviors influenced by how they want to be seen by others.
Key Difference: The social self is shaped by relationships and social interactions; it is the version of the self that reflects how we engage with society and how others see us.
Spiritual Self
Origin: The spiritual self is rooted in James’s understanding of the inner, intangible, and subjective aspects of identity. It encompasses a person’s values, morals, consciousness, and inner essence—essentially, their core self beyond the physical and social aspects.
Definition: The spiritual self reflects a person’s inner self, including their values, beliefs, emotions, and sense of morality. It is the most private aspect of the self, concerned with one’s inner life and consciousness rather than external or social factors.
Example: A person’s beliefs about right and wrong, their spiritual or religious beliefs, their sense of purpose, and their innermost feelings about life all contribute to their spiritual self. It includes their self-awareness and sense of personal identity that transcends material possessions or social roles.
Key Difference: The spiritual self is about internal values and consciousness—it is focused on the personal, intangible elements that define who we are, independent of the external world and other people.
Social Self v. Material Self v. Spiritual Self
Material Self: Refers to the physical aspects of identity, including the body, possessions, and things that are tangibly owned or controlled by the individual. It represents how a person’s sense of self is connected to what they have.
Social Self: Refers to the multiple roles a person takes on in different social contexts, shaped by relationships and how others perceive them. It reflects the influence of social interactions on one’s identity.
Spiritual Self: Refers to the internal, subjective self, including one’s beliefs, values, consciousness, and inner essence. It is the most personal and private aspect of identity, focused on inner life and morality.
Functionalism v. Symbolic Interactionism
Functionalism looks at the macro-level structures of society, emphasizing how institutions and social roles maintain social order and stability.
Symbolic interactionism focuses on micro-level interactions, exploring how individuals create and interpret meaning through their daily social interactions.
Each perspective provides a different way to understand how society operates and evolves.
Self-concept
Refers to the collection of beliefs, perceptions, and thoughts that a person holds about themselves. It encompasses how individuals see and define themselves, including their personality traits, abilities, values, and social roles. Self-concept forms a central aspect of a person’s identity and plays a critical role in shaping how they interact with the world, make decisions, and interpret their experiences.
The concept of self-concept has roots in several psychological theories and has been explored extensively in the fields of social psychology, humanistic psychology, and developmental psychology. Key contributors to the development of self-concept theory include Carl Rogers, William James, and George Herbert Mead.
Erik Erikson
Most Significant Contribution:
Erik Erikson’s most notable contribution is his theory of psychosocial development, which outlines eight stages of human development from infancy to late adulthood. His work expanded on Freud’s ideas but emphasized social and cultural factors in development rather than psychosexual stages. Erikson is best known for his concept of the identity vs. role confusion stage, which occurs during adolescence and is critical for identity formation.
Influence of Contribution:
Erikson’s psychosocial theory significantly influenced the fields of developmental psychology and education, particularly in understanding the importance of identity formation during adolescence. His work laid the foundation for how we understand the interaction between personal development and social factors. Erikson’s theory also broadened the scope of lifespan development, emphasizing that development continues through adulthood, not just in childhood.
Identity vs. Role Confusion: This stage emphasizes the importance of exploration and commitment in forming a stable identity. Adolescents who successfully navigate this stage achieve a coherent sense of self, while those who struggle may experience identity confusion, affecting their roles and relationships in adulthood.
Published Work:
Erikson introduced his theory in “Childhood and Society” (1950), where he first outlined his eight stages of psychosocial development. His concept of identity and its role in adolescent development has been highly influential in the fields of psychology and education
James Marcia
Most Significant Contribution:
James Marcia is best known for his Identity Status Theory, which expands on Erikson’s stage of identity vs. role confusion by categorizing identity development into four distinct statuses: identity diffusion, identity foreclosure, identity moratorium, and identity achievement. His theory focuses on the processes of exploration and commitment in identity formation.
Influence of Contribution:
Marcia’s Identity Status Theory has had a profound impact on how researchers and clinicians understand the process of identity formation, particularly in adolescence and early adulthood. By focusing on the interplay between exploration and commitment, Marcia provided a more nuanced framework for understanding how individuals navigate their identity development. His theory is widely used in educational psychology, adolescent counseling, and identity research.
Identity Statuses: Marcia’s categorization helps educators, psychologists, and counselors identify where individuals stand in terms of identity development, offering insights into potential interventions or support for those in diffusion or foreclosure stages and promoting movement toward moratorium and achievement.
Published Work:
Marcia introduced his identity status theory in his 1966 paper, “Development and Validation of Ego-Identity Status,” published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. This paper laid the foundation for decades of research on identity formation and has been central to understanding adolescent and adult identity development.
Henri Tajfel
Most Significant Contribution:
Henri Tajfel’s most notable contribution is Social Identity Theory, which examines how individuals define themselves based on their group memberships (e.g., race, nationality, gender, religion). His theory introduced concepts such as in-group favoritism, out-group discrimination, and the processes of social categorization, social identification, and social comparison.
Influence of Contribution:
Social Identity Theory has had a major influence on the fields of social psychology, organizational behavior, and intergroup relations. Tajfel’s work is foundational in understanding group dynamics, prejudice, stereotyping, and discrimination. It provides a framework for explaining how individuals derive part of their identity from the groups they belong to, how they compare their groups to others, and how this affects their self-esteem and behavior. Social Identity Theory has also informed research on conflict resolution, intergroup behavior, and the psychology of discrimination and ethnocentrism.
In-group Favoritism and Out-group Discrimination: Tajfel’s experiments showed how individuals, even when arbitrarily assigned to groups, tend to show preference for their own group (in-group) and may exhibit bias or discrimination against other groups (out-group). This insight has been used to understand everything from nationalism to workplace dynamics and racial discrimination.
Published Work:
Tajfel first introduced Social Identity Theory in a series of papers in the 1970s, with his key paper titled “Social Identity and Intergroup Behavior,” published in 1974. He continued to develop this theory, alongside John Turner, in subsequent works. Tajfel’s experiments, such as the minimal group paradigm, demonstrated the basic principles of social identity and group behavior.
Dangers of Excessive Compromise
Explanation: Relationships often require compromise, but excessive self-sacrifice can threaten individual identity. When one partner consistently sacrifices their own needs, desires, or personal goals for the sake of the relationship, it can lead to resentment and identity loss.
Impact on Identity: Constant self-sacrifice diminishes a person’s sense of self-worth and individuality, as they prioritize the relationship over their own personal fulfillment. This can cause the person to feel disconnected from their original identity.
Example: A person may give up their personal hobbies, friendships, or career ambitions to accommodate their partner’s needs, gradually feeling as though they are losing their own identity in the process.
Dangers of Emotional Dependency
Explanation: Emotional dependency occurs when one partner relies excessively on the other for emotional support, validation, or self-worth. This dynamic can threaten identity by creating an imbalance where the dependent partner feels they cannot function without the other.
Impact on Identity: Emotional dependency can erode an individual’s sense of independence and self-confidence, making them feel that their identity is tied to the relationship. The individual may lose the ability to define themselves outside the context of the relationship.
Example: Someone in a dependent relationship may avoid pursuing personal interests or friendships because they prioritize their partner’s emotional needs over their own, leading to a loss of individuality.
Autonomy
Dangers of a loss of Autonomy
Explanation: A relationship can threaten identity when one partner exerts excessive control or influence over the other, leading to a loss of autonomy. This can occur in relationships where one partner is dominant or controlling, dictating the other person’s choices, behaviors, or opinions.
Impact on Identity: Over time, the controlled partner may feel that their personal choices and desires are being suppressed, resulting in a diminished sense of self. Their identity becomes subsumed by the relationship, leading to feelings of dependency and helplessness.
Example: In a relationship where one partner controls major decisions (e.g., career, social life), the other may feel they have lost the ability to express their preferences, ultimately losing touch with their own identity.
Dangers of Identity Merging
Explanation: In some relationships, individuals may experience identity merging, where their sense of self becomes overly entwined with their partner’s identity. This can occur when partners are inseparable and define themselves primarily through the relationship, rather than as individuals.
Impact on Identity: When two people’s identities merge, one or both partners may lose the ability to distinguish their own likes, dislikes, and values from those of their partner. This can create confusion about personal identity and hinder self-growth.
Example: A person in an identity-merged relationship may adopt their partner’s interests and habits so fully that they forget what activities, hobbies, or values they once held as important on their own.
Dangers of overconformity to gender-roles in relationships
Explanation: Traditional gender roles or societal expectations within a relationship can lead individuals to conform to specific roles that may not align with their authentic identity. Pressure to fit into culturally prescribed roles can suppress aspects of an individual’s identity.
Impact on Identity: When individuals conform to rigid roles, they may feel that their personal ambitions, interests, or individuality are being sacrificed to meet the expectations of the relationship. This can lead to frustration, identity conflict, or feelings of entrapment.
Example: A woman in a relationship might feel pressured to adopt a caretaker role or give up her career aspirations to meet her partner’s expectations, even if these demands do not align with her true desires and self-concept.
Dangers of social pressure and unrealistic expectations
Explanation: External pressures from family, friends, or society can impose unrealistic expectations on a relationship, forcing individuals to conform to these expectations in ways that threaten their personal identity. People may feel obligated to maintain appearances or meet the standards imposed by others.
Impact on Identity: When individuals feel pressured to live up to external expectations (e.g., marriage, children, social status), they may suppress aspects of their identity that do not align with these standards, leading to internal conflict and dissatisfaction.
Example: A person may feel compelled to stay in a relationship or get married to meet family expectations, even if it conflicts with their personal goals or values, causing them to question their own identity.
Dangers of inconsistent goals in relationships
Explanation: In some relationships, personal goals and relationship goals may come into conflict. This can threaten identity when individuals feel that pursuing their personal ambitions (e.g., career advancement, personal development) is incompatible with maintaining the relationship.
Impact on Identity: When personal goals are sacrificed or deferred for the sake of the relationship, individuals may feel a loss of agency and personal fulfillment. Over time, this can erode their sense of self and lead to dissatisfaction with both their identity and the relationship.
Example: A person may want to pursue further education or a career opportunity that requires relocation, but their partner’s reluctance to support this decision could force them to choose between personal growth and the relationship.
Dangers of codependency in relationships
Explanation: Codependent relationships are characterized by an unhealthy reliance on each other, often where one partner takes on the role of the caregiver and the other becomes emotionally dependent. This dynamic can lead to both partners losing sight of their individual identities as they become overly focused on fulfilling the needs of the other.
Impact on Identity: In codependent relationships, individuals often struggle to maintain boundaries or pursue independent interests, leading to a blurring of personal identities. One or both partners may feel defined only by their role within the relationship, rather than by their own personal traits or aspirations.
Example: In a codependent relationship, one person might base their entire identity around taking care of their partner, while neglecting their own needs, goals, or self-concept.
Richard Ryan and Edward Deci
Most Significant Contribution:
Ryan and Deci are best known for developing Self-Determination Theory (SDT), a framework for understanding human motivation, particularly the balance between autonomy, competence, and relatedness in promoting intrinsic motivation and well-being. SDT highlights the importance of autonomy (the ability to make independent choices) in maintaining a strong sense of self, particularly in relationships and personal growth.
Impact of Contribution:
Self-Determination Theory has had a profound impact on motivation research, psychology, education, and organizational behavior. It has been widely applied in areas such as relationship dynamics, workplace motivation, learning environments, and mental health. SDT underscores the idea that supporting autonomy leads to better outcomes in terms of personal identity, well-being, and relationship satisfaction.
Published Work:
Ryan and Deci introduced SDT in their seminal paper “Self-Determination Theory and the Facilitation of Intrinsic Motivation, Social Development, and Well-Being” (2000), published in American Psychologist. The theory has since been expanded in several books and numerous articles.
Alice Eagly and Wendy Wood
Most Significant Contribution:
Eagly and Wood are well-known for their development of Social Role Theory, which explains how gender differences arise from societal expectations and norms rather than innate biological factors. The theory suggests that traditional gender roles are imposed by society, influencing behavior and identity within relationships, work, and other social spheres.
Impact of Contribution:
Social Role Theory has been highly influential in the fields of social psychology, gender studies, and organizational behavior. It has provided insight into how societal expectations shape gender behavior and how these roles can constrain personal identity and self-expression. The theory has also been used to challenge and rethink gender stereotypes and biases in workplaces, relationships, and family life.
Published Work:
Eagly and Wood’s key work, “The Origins of Sex Differences in Human Behavior: Evolved Dispositions Versus Social Roles,” was published in American Psychologist in 1999. This paper laid the foundation for understanding how social roles, rather than biological predispositions, shape gender-related behaviors and identity development.
Michael Wells
Most Significant Contribution:
Michael Wells is noted for his research on codependency in relationships. His work focuses on how individuals in codependent relationships often sacrifice their own needs and identity to care for or support their partner, leading to unhealthy relationship dynamics and identity erosion.
Impact of Contribution:
Wells’ work on codependency has been widely used in the context of relationship counseling, addiction treatment, and psychotherapy. It has provided a framework for understanding the negative effects of emotional over-reliance in relationships and how individuals can lose their sense of self when they become overly focused on the needs of others. This research has also contributed to treatment strategies aimed at fostering healthier, more balanced relationships.
Published Work:
Wells’ notable research on codependency was published in “Codependency: An Analysis of Self-Esteem and Relationship Patterns in Codependent and Non-Codependent Individuals” in 1999, helping to define and clarify the psychological dynamics of codependent relationships.
Author Aron
Most Significant Contribution:
Arthur Aron is best known for developing the Self-Expansion Theory, which explains how individuals grow and enhance their self-concept through relationships. The theory posits that people seek to expand their sense of self by including aspects of their partner’s identity in their own, which can promote personal growth or lead to identity merging and blurring.
Impact of Contribution:
Aron’s Self-Expansion Theory has significantly influenced relationship psychology, particularly in understanding how people navigate closeness and intimacy. It is widely cited in studies on romantic relationships, marriage, and identity development. The theory helps explain both the positive and negative aspects of close relationships, including how individuals may lose personal identity if they overly merge with their partner.
Published Work:
Aron’s key paper, “The Self-Expansion Model of Motivation and Cognition in Close Relationships and Beyond,” was published in 1992. This work has been foundational in exploring how close relationships contribute to personal development and identity formation.
Caryl Rusbult
Most Significant Contribution:
Caryl Rusbult is most recognized for her Investment Model of Commitment, which explains how the level of commitment in relationships is determined by three factors: satisfaction, investment, and alternatives. The model highlights how individuals make sacrifices or investments in relationships, which can either strengthen commitment or lead to dissatisfaction and identity loss if those investments are excessive or unreciprocated.
Impact of Contribution:
The Investment Model has been highly influential in understanding relationship dynamics and commitment. It has been used to study relationship satisfaction, stability, and the challenges people face when they invest heavily in relationships that don’t provide equal returns. The theory has applications in marriage counseling, conflict resolution, and relationship therapy, particularly in cases where one partner feels they have sacrificed too much of their identity for the relationship.
Published Work:
Rusbult’s Investment Model was first introduced in “A Longitudinal Test of the Investment Model: The Development (and Deterioration) of Satisfaction and Commitment in Heterosexual Involvements,” published in 1983 in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
C. Raymond Knee
Most Significant Contribution:
C. Raymond Knee is known for his work on relationship contingency and its impact on self-worth. He explored how individuals’ self-esteem can become contingent upon the success or failure of their romantic relationships, which can result in identity issues when relationships are unstable or challenging.
Impact of Contribution:
Knee’s research has been important in understanding how relationship satisfaction and self-esteem are interconnected. It has been used in the study of relationship dynamics, particularly how people’s sense of self can be threatened when their relationships are in turmoil. This research informs counseling and therapeutic approaches that help individuals disentangle their self-worth from their relationship status.
Published Work:
Knee’s work on relationship contingency was detailed in “Relationship Contingency and Self-Worth: On the Roles of Attachment Styles and Self-Esteem in Romantic Relationships,” published in 2008 in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Peter Burke and Jan Stets
Most Significant Contribution:
Peter Burke and Jan Stets are recognized for their work on Identity Theory, which explains how individuals develop and maintain multiple identities based on the social roles they occupy. Their theory highlights how identity conflicts can arise when personal goals and social roles clash, leading to identity confusion.
Impact of Contribution:
Identity Theory has been a key framework in understanding role-based identity and how people navigate multiple social roles in their personal and professional lives. It has been widely applied in sociology and psychology to study role conflict, identity formation, and how individuals manage competing aspects of their identities. The theory has also informed research on career development, family dynamics, and gender roles.
Published Work:
Burke and Stets’ Identity Theory was published in their book, “Identity Theory,” in 2009. This work has become a foundational text in understanding the interaction between personal identity and social roles.
Top Causes of divorce (statistically speaking)
1) Lack of Communication
2) Infidelity
3) Uncontrolled spending
4) Lack of emotional commitment
5) Growing apart (ie incompatibility)
6) Drugs
7) Domestic Violence
8) Unmet Emotional Needs
9) Marrying too young
10) Lack of physical intimacy
David Levine
Most Significant Contribution:
David Levine and colleagues are known for their research on sexual satisfaction and its role in marital satisfaction and stability. They explored how sexual intimacy affects emotional closeness, and how the decline in physical intimacy often precedes divorce.
Impact of Contribution:
Their work has contributed to a better understanding of how sexual intimacy and emotional connection are interrelated in marriage. It has informed both sex therapy and marriage counseling, emphasizing the importance of physical intimacy for long-term marital success.
Published Work:
The study, “Sexual Satisfaction and Relationship Adjustment in Marital and Cohabiting Relationships: The Role of Sexual Frequency and Communication”, was published in Journal of Sex Research in 2010.
Norval Glenn and Beth Shelton
Most Significant Contribution:
Norval Glenn and Beth Shelton are best known for their work on the impact of marrying young on marital stability. They explored how marrying before the age of 25 is linked to higher rates of divorce due to immaturity, changing goals, and financial instability.
Impact of Contribution:
Their research has provided important insights into how age at marriage impacts long-term marital stability. It has influenced marriage counseling and public health policy, especially regarding marriage education programs that encourage individuals to marry later in life for better marital outcomes.
Published Work:
Their study, “Premarital Cohabitation and Marital Stability: A Reassessment”, was published in Journal of Marriage and Family in 1985.
Paul Amato and Denise Previti
Most Significant Contribution:
Paul Amato and Denise Previti conducted research on the causes of divorce, focusing on reasons such as incompatibility, growing apart, and extramarital affairs. Their work provides insights into how personal and relational factors contribute to marital breakdown.
Impact of Contribution:
Their research has had a significant impact on divorce studies by providing a clear understanding of the primary reasons why marriages fail, particularly in areas such as incompatibility and infidelity. Their work is frequently cited in studies on marriage dissolution and helps guide relationship counseling practices aimed at preventing divorce.
Published Work:
Their key study, “People’s Reasons for Divorcing: Gender, Social Class, the Life Course, and Adjustment”, was published in the Journal of Family Issues in 2003.
Scott Stanley
Most Significant Contribution:
Scott Stanley is known for his research on commitment in romantic relationships and marriage. His work, particularly on the sliding vs. deciding concept, explores how couples who “slide” into major relationship transitions (e.g., moving in together, getting married) without clear decisions often face commitment issues later in their relationships.
Impact of Contribution:
Stanley’s work has been influential in both relationship education and marriage counseling. His research has highlighted the importance of intentional decision-making in strengthening commitment and reducing the risk of divorce. His studies have informed programs designed to help couples strengthen their commitment and communication.
Published Work:
Stanley’s research was outlined in “Commitment: Functions, Formation, and the Securing of Romantic Attachments”, published in Journal of Family Psychology in 2006.
Benjamin Karney and Thomas Bradbury
Most Significant Contribution:
Benjamin Karney and Thomas Bradbury are noted for their Vulnerability-Stress-Adaptation (VSA) Model, which explains how stress, vulnerability factors, and adaptive processes interact to affect marital satisfaction and stability. Their research focused on how unmet emotional needs, combined with external stressors, contribute to marital dissatisfaction and divorce.
Impact of Contribution:
The VSA model has provided a comprehensive framework for understanding how couples cope with stress and emotional neglect in relationships. It has been widely applied in couples therapy to help address how stressors, such as financial difficulties or unmet emotional needs, can erode marital satisfaction over time.
Published Work:
Their study, “The Longitudinal Course of Marital Quality and Stability: A Review of Theory, Method, and Research”, was published in Psychological Bulletin in 1995. This paper has become a cornerstone in the study of marital quality and its relation to stress and emotional factors.
Kenneth Leonard and R. Eiden
Most Significant Contribution:
Kenneth Leonard and R. Eiden are best known for their research on substance abuse and its impact on marital stability. They explored how alcohol use and other substance abuse disorders contribute to marital dissatisfaction, conflict, and eventual divorce.
Impact of Contribution:
Their work has been highly influential in understanding the role of substance abuse in the breakdown of relationships. Their findings are used in addiction counseling and relationship therapy to address the ways that substance abuse can strain relationships, lead to emotional neglect, and result in divorce.
Published Work:
Their key study, “Substance Use and Marriage: Individual and Partner-Level Predictors of Relationship Dissolution”, was published in Alcohol Research & Health in 2007. This research helped establish the connection between substance use and marital instability.
Shirly Glass
Most Significant Contribution:
Shirley Glass is best known for her research on infidelity and the emotional dynamics that lead to extramarital affairs. Her work explored the distinction between emotional and sexual infidelity and the ways in which emotional affairs can be just as damaging, if not more, than physical affairs. Glass challenged traditional assumptions about infidelity by emphasizing the role of emotional closeness in leading to extramarital relationships.
Impact of Contribution:
Glass’s research has been influential in shifting how infidelity is understood, particularly in the context of emotional affairs. Her work has helped shape marriage counseling practices by addressing how couples can recover from infidelity, rebuild trust, and foster healthier emotional boundaries.
Published Work:
Glass’s groundbreaking study, “Justifications for Extramarital Relationships: The Association Between Attitudes, Behaviors, and Gender”, was published in Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy in 1992. Her later book, “Not Just Friends” (2004), provided practical guidance for couples recovering from affairs
“Personhood” v. “Identity”
Elements of Personhood
Feelings
Attitudes
Behaviors
Desires
Choices
Values
*Only an individual can control these. Trying to control these elements in another person is manipulative and a violation of boundaries
