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Interpersonal Communications > Chapter 8- Listening And Confirming Responses > Flashcards

Chapter 8- Listening And Confirming Responses Flashcards

1
Q

Define validate

A

We acknowledge and respect them and their feelings

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2
Q

Define listening

A

A complex activity that involves the process of receiving, constructing meaning from, and responding to spoken and or nonverbal messages

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3
Q

What percentage of our “communication time” do we engage in listening

A

60%

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4
Q

What are the four types of listening we engage in?

A

Comprehensive listening

Evaluative listening

Appreciative listening

Empathetic listening

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5
Q

Define comprehensive listening

A

When we want to learn, understand, and recall information. Listening to an instructor give a lecture is an example of comprehensive listening

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6
Q

Define evaluative listening

A

When we want to judge the soundness of a message. Critical thinking, discussed later in this chapter, can help us analyze and evaluate the messages we listen to

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7
Q

What is appreciative listening

A

When we want to enjoy and appreciate the messages we listen to

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8
Q

An example of appreciative listening

A

We may make it a point to focus on a conversation partners nonverbal communication as she or he acts out a story while speaking.

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9
Q

Define empathetic listening

A

When we want to understand and experience the feelings of a conversation partner

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10
Q

What percent of material do students listen to in professors lectures?

A

50%

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11
Q

What percent is memorized from a professors lecture by listening?

A

25%

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12
Q

What is disconfirming listening?

A

Listening that does not respect a speakers verbal and nonverbal messages

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13
Q

What falls under disconfirming listening?

A

Defensive listening

Pseudolistening

Confrontational listening

Literal listening

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14
Q

Define defensive listening

A

We interpret message and criticism as personal attacks

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15
Q

Define pseudolistening

A

We pretend to listen even though we are focusing on our own thoughts and miss the speakers message

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16
Q

Define confrontational listening

A

We listen carefully for flaws in a message to refute them or attack the speaker in response

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17
Q

Define literal listening

A

We listen to messages at the content level and ignore the meaning at the relational level

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18
Q

An example of literal listening

A

Asking someone how they are
That person sighs and responds “I’m OK”
And we say “Good to hear it!”

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19
Q

Why are most of us poor listeners

A

We haven’t been taught how to listen properly, and how to respond to others after listening to them speak

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20
Q

Why is it important to study listening and confirming processes

A

Speakers feel acknowledged, honored, and validated when we listen with care and attention

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21
Q

When do speakers feel acknowledged, honored, and validated when we listen?

A

When we are fully emotionally present with others, withhold judgement, and avoid distractions

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22
Q

What do confirming responses do to the speaker?

A

When we help others cope with problems, manage upset feelings, and maintain both a positive sense of self and a positive outlook on life.

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23
Q

Studies that show husbands listen to their wives is an example of what

A

Happy successful marriages as opposed to husbands that don’t

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24
Q

What is a benefit of confirming responses?

A

Relational satisfaction

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25
Q

If people think they are too busy, what would they do?

A

Think they are too busy to spare the time for civil

Listening

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26
Q

The three ways to improve our ability to engage in civil communication?

A

Planning our listening

Demonstrating that we are listening

Becoming fully involved with a speaker

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27
Q

Difference between hearing and listening

A

Listening is the interpretation of stimuli, the second stage in the listening process

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28
Q

What are the theee stages of the listening process

A

Receiving

Interpreting

Responding

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29
Q

What falls under receiving in the listening process

A

Noise

SELECTIVE listening

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30
Q

What falls under stage two in the listening process

A

Critical thinking

Remembering

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31
Q

What falls under RESPONDING in stage three of the stages in the listening process

A

Active listening

Confirming responses

32
Q

What makes hearing\lostekninf difficult when receiving information?

A

Message overload

Preoccupation

Message complexity

33
Q

Define message overload

A

The overwhelming number of messages we encounter each day makes it impossible for us to be listening all the time

34
Q

Define preoccupation

A

We’re often too wrapped up in our own thoughts to focus on what’s at hand

35
Q

Define message complexity

A

Messages that include lots of jargon- might be too difficult to follow along so we tune out

36
Q

CAN noise be psychological tiredness as well as physical noise

A

Yes

37
Q

What are two other problems associated with receiving information

A

Noise

SELECTIVE listening

38
Q

Define SELECTIVE listening

A

When we listen to some parts of the message and ignore others

39
Q

How come it’s hard to pay full attention to receiving information?

A

We fail to perceive parts of a message that don’t interest us, make us uncomfortable, or conflict with our opinions

40
Q

An example of SELECTIVE attention in a relationship

A

“Let’s be friends” RIGHT after breaking up

41
Q

How can we improve our ability to receive verbal as or nonverbal messages

A

Engage in self talk:”I’ll finish that thought later”

“I need to focus”

42
Q

What does interpreting nonverbal messages do

A

Attaching meaning to the messages we listen to

43
Q

How do we interpret verbal/ nonverbal communication

A

Critical thinking

Remembering

44
Q

Define critical thinking

A

Activities involved in analyzing and evaluating messages

45
Q

How can we successfully analyze a message

A

We must suspend or delay judgement before we form an opinion

46
Q

How does remembering play a role in listening?

A

Especially with employers, asking questions in an interview is correlated with good short term memory as opposed to not asking questions is associated with poor long term memory

47
Q

What do we use our critical thinking skills for

A

To separate fact from inference

Assess evidence in terms of sources

Focus on the form of reasoning

48
Q

What is the five step strategy for remembering names of new people?

A

Focus on the moment of introduction

Listening for the name

Repeating the name aloud and visualizing the name

Thinking of someone we know with the same name

Using the name during and at the end of the conversation

49
Q

What is an effective way to respond to verbal and or nonverbal messages?

A

Active listening

50
Q

What does active listening require?

A

Time and effort

51
Q

Why is passive listening ineffective for responding to verbal/ nonverbal messages?

A

Passive listeners tend to equate hearing and soak up material directed to them.

Thy might be misunderstanding the speaker

52
Q

How do we improve our ability to respond to verbal/ nonverbal messages with active listening

A

Confirming processes

53
Q

Define confirming processes

A

Validate others expressions of affection, respect, and concern

54
Q

What does increasing our confirming responses do?

A

Enables us to strategically choose the most effective and appropriate comments as they relate to the other person, the persons communication, ourselves, and the situation

55
Q

What did Brant R Burleson argue

A

Ppl who make use responding to a variety of styles are perceived as sensitive, concerned, and involved

56
Q

Types of confirming responses

A

Prompting and questioning

Reassuring and expressing concern

Analyzing and advising

Judging (criticizing constructively)

Paraphrasing thoughts and feelings

Supporting communication

57
Q

How can we prompt the speaker by using confirming processes

And the problem

A

Say “I see” and “go on”

But the problem= can mask the fact listener isn’t listening. Also can cause speaker to get defensive

58
Q

What can be a problem with asking questions to the speaker

A

There can be leading or loaded questions

59
Q

Define leading questions and loaded questions

A

Leading- a close ended question that suggests the right answer

Loaded- close ended question that provides only two alternatives

60
Q

How can we reassure and express concern for the speaker

A

Relational feedback

Empathy

61
Q

Define relational feedback

A

We can express our concern about being in a similar experience

62
Q

What should we keep in mind when trying to use relational feedback?

A

Keep our own stories short and only use them for effectiveness

63
Q

What’s important to keep in mind about reassuring and expressing concern

A

We should switch up how we express concern with others. Not use “I’m sorry” all the time but switch it up so the listener feels validated

64
Q

How can we analyze (referring to confirming responses) information to the speaker without being perceived as a know it all?

A

Ask if the speaker is willing to listen to some alternative explanations about a problematic situation

Suggesting our explanations in a tentative manner (indexing our thoughts)

Making sure this our explanations are plausible

65
Q

How can we counteract potential problems with offering advice?

A

Let the speaker ask for advice before we offer it

Provide ourselves with an out of the advice doesn’t work as expected (tentative- “this worked for me but it might not work for you\ something to consider)

Be willing to read between the lines of our advice is rejected (don’t take as a personal attack on ability to help, but understand showing our concern might be helping the speaker) (happens if speaker responds -yes, but)

66
Q

How can you give constructive criticism? (Focusing on judging aspect of confirming responses)

A

Describe the other persons behavior with specific, detailed examples (teen example with the stop signs)

Preface a “negative” with a “positive” whenever possible (you’re doing a great job at driving- you’re improving)

Own our thoughts and feelings to communicate that is is our evaluation that we are expressing and not the “absolute truth”

Suggest a behavioral change

67
Q

When can offering constructive criticism TURN defensive

A

Saying “I told you so!”

=we should wait until we are asked for the criticism

68
Q

Define paraphrase

A

Interpreting the meaning of the speakers message and communicate that meaning in our own words

69
Q

Why is paraphrasing effective?

A

It’s a way to see if we have correctly understood a speakers message

70
Q

What does paraphrasing include

A

Rephrasing a speakers comments to communicate our understanding of what the speaker means

Communicating in a tentative manner

Asking for feedback “am I correct?”

Delivering the paraphrase in a nonjudgemental manner (avoid good, bad, wrong) (non v comm that we disapprove of the speaker and the speakers comments)

71
Q

What are the two types of paraphrases?

A

Content paraphrase- after we’ve listened to a lot of information we have been given complex directions and/or instructions
= relational level of meaning

Feelings paraphrasing

72
Q

Define feelings paraphrasing

A

Requires us to monitor a speakers nonverbal communication for clues about what the speaker may be feeling

73
Q

Example of feelings paraphrasing

A

Response to a speaker who isn’t allowed to enroll in a class-
“You must be upset, am I right?”

74
Q

What does paraphrasing do?

A

Validates someone’s emotions

75
Q

What happens once people feel that their emotions have been understood?

A

They calm down, and respond in a rational manner

76
Q

What is also a best option for validating someone’s opinions?

A

Silence

Interpersonal Communications (9 decks)

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