Chapter 8: Communication And Relational Dynamics

Question 1

The way people deal with one another socially. An association in which the parties meet each other’s social needs to a greater or less or degree.

Answer 1

Interpersonal relationship

Question 2

What are seven reasons that we form interpersonal relationships?

Answer 2

Appearance, similarity, complementarity, reciprocal attraction, competence, disclosure, and proximity

Question 3

A reason that we form relationships. We are drawn to those who are more attractive

Answer 3

Appearance

Question 4

A reason we form relationships. We generally like people who are similar to us.

Answer 4

Similarity

Question 5

A reason why we form relationships. We are attracted to those Who are different than us. Opposites attract. When each partners characteristics satisfy the others needs.

Answer 5

Complementarity

Question 6

A reason we form relationships. We usually like people who like us, and conversely, we don’t care much for people who seem in different or attack us in some way.

Answer 6

Reciprocal attraction

Probably because people who approve of us bolster our self-esteem

Question 7

A reason we form relationships. We like talented, competent people, but not if they’re too competent, which makes us look bad by comparison.

Answer 7

Competence

People are generally attracted to those who are talented but flawed in someway because it shows that they are human, like us

Question 8

A reason we form relationships. Revealing important information about yourself can also build liking. Sometimes the basis of this liking comes from learning about how we are similar, either in experiences or in attitudes.

Answer 8

Self disclosure

Self disclosure is also a sign of regard. When people share private information, it suggests that they respect and trust you. The key to satisfying self disclosure is reciprocity: getting back the amount and kind of information equivalent to that which you reveal. The timing must be right.

Question 9

A reason we form relationships. The more often we interact with someone, the more likely we will form a relationship with that person.

Answer 9

Proximity

Allows us to get more information about other people and benefit from a relationship with them

Question 10

A socioeconomic theory of relational development that suggests people seek relationships in which the rewards they receive from others are equal to or greater than the costs they encounter

Answer 10

Social exchange theory

According to social exchange theory, relationships suffer when one partner feels “underbenefited“

Tangible rewards might be a nice place to live or a high-paying job, while in tangible ones might include prestige, emotional support, or companionship. Costs refer to undesirable outcomes such as unpleasant work, emotional pain, and so on.

Rewards - cost = outcome

Question 11

Communication aimed at keeping relationships operating smoothly and satisfactorily

Answer 11

Relational maintenance

Question 12

A developmental model, what are the 10 stages of Knapp’s relational development?

Answer 12

Initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, bonding, differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding, terminating

Question 13

The first stage in relational development, in which the parties express interest in one another

Answer 13

Initiation

Communication is usually brief and follows conventional formulas such as handshakes, innocuous remarks about the weather, and friendly expressions.

Question 14

The process of getting to know others by gaining more information about them

Answer 14

Uncertainty reduction

Question 15

The second stage in relational development. An early stage in relational development, consisting of a search for common ground. If this stage is successful, the relationship will progress to intensifying. If not, it may go no further

Answer 15

Experimenting

Question 16

The third stage of relational development. A stage of relational development, preceeding integrating, in which the parties move toward integration by increasing the amount of contact and the breath and depth of self-disclosure

Answer 16

Intensifying

Often the most exciting and even euphoric stage

Question 17

The fourth stage in relational development in which the parties begin to take on a single identity

Answer 17

Integrating

In this stage, individuals give up some characteristics of their old selves and develop shared identities. As we become more integrated with others, our sense of obligation to them grows.

Question 18

The fifth stage in relational development in which the parties make symbolic public gestures to show that their relationship exists

Answer 18

Bonding

The peak of the coming together fees. Bonded relationships are those involving a significant measure to make the relationship “official“. These include getting married, moving in together, having a public ceremony, making a written or verbal pledge, and so forth

Question 19

The sixth stage in relational development in which the parties reestablish their individual identities after having bonded together

Answer 19

Differentiating

Previously agreed-upon issues may now become points of contention. But the need for individuality doesn’t need to be a negative experience – the key to successful differentiating is maintaining a commitment to the relationship while you create your individual spaces

Question 20

The seventh stage in relational development in which parties begin to reduce the scope of their contact and commitment to one another

Answer 20

Circumscribing

In this stage, communication between members decreases in quantity and quality, and the stage is characterized by restrictions and restraints. Members may withdraw mentally or physically when there is a disagreement. Interest and commitment begin to wane

Question 21

The eighth stage in relational development characterized by declining enthusiasm and standardized forms of behaviour

Answer 21

Stagnating

In this stage, there’s little feelings and no growth. Couples in unenthusiastically have the same conversations, see the same people, and follow the same routines without any sense of joy or novelty

Question 22

The ninth stage in relational development, immediately prior to terminating, in which the parties minimize contact with one another

Answer 22

Avoiding

In this stage, partners create physical distance between each other, either indirectly by using a guise of excuses or directly. The prognosis is not good but deterioration is not inevitable.

Question 23

The 10th stage in relational development. The concluding stage characterized by the acknowledgement of one or both parties that the relationship is over

Answer 23

Terminating

In this stage, couples talk about what went wrong and declare that they want to break up.

This model doesn’t describe the ebb and flow of communication in every relationship. And although it suggests that partners go through one stage at a time, in real life, elements of other stages are usually present

Question 24

Inherent conflicts that arise went two opposing or incompatible forces exist simultaneously

Answer 24

Dialectical tensions

Question 25

What are three types of dialectical tensions?

Answer 25

Connection versus autonomy

Openness versus privacy

Predictability versus novelty

Question 26

The dialectical tension between a desire for open communication and the need for privacy in a relationship

Answer 26

Openness-privacy dialectic

Question 27

The dialectical tension between a desire for connection and a need for independence in a relationship

Answer 27

Connection-autonomy dialectic

The connection-independence tension is the most frequently felt dialectical tension

Question 28

The dialectical tension between a desire for stability and the need for novelty in a relationship

Answer 28

Predictability-novelty dialectic

Question 29

What are eight typically used strategies for managing dialectical tensions in relationships?

Answer 29

Denial – communicators deny there is a problem and manage the tension by following predictable patterns of relating to one another

Disorientation – couples feel overwhelmed and helpless, and are unable to confront their problems

Alternation – communicators go from one end of the dialectical spectrum to the other. For example, alternate between spending large amounts of time together to living very independent lives

Segmentation – partners compartmentalize different areas of their relationship to manage the openness-privacy dialectic. For example, share feelings about mutual friends but keep past romantic histories private.

Balance – communicators balance dialectical tensions by compromising

Integration – communicators accept opposing forces without trying to diminish them. For example, in terms of novelty and prediction, a couple might decide that once a week they’ll do something different together that they’ve never done before.

Recalibration – dialectical challenges are reframed so the contradiction disappears. For example, changing an attitude from loving someone in spite of the differences to loving them because of those differences.

Reaffirmation – recognizing and then embracing the notion that dialectical tensions will always be there

Question 30

Knapp divides the rise and fall relationships into 10 stages. What are the three broad phases that includes these 10 stages?

Answer 30

Coming together – initiating, experimenting, intensifying. As well as bonding and integrating as part of relational maintenance as well

Relational maintenance - bonding and integrating on the coming together side and differentiating and circumscribing on the coming apart side

Coming apart – includes differentiating and circumscribing included with relational maintenance. And then stagnating, avoiding, and terminating.

Question 31

What are five strategies that couples use to keep their interactions satisfying? Part of the fact that relationships require maintenance.

Answer 31

Positivity, openness, assurances, social networks, sharing tasks

Question 32

An implied or explicit promise to remain and make a relationship successful

Answer 32

Relational commitment

Question 33

What are four types of relational transgressions, when one partner violates the explicit or implicit terms of the relationship?

Answer 33

Minor versus significant

Social versus relational - some transgressions violate social rules shared by society at large while other rules are uniquely constructed by the parties involved.

Deliberate versus unintentional

One-time versus incremental

Question 34

What are some strategies for relational repair?

Answer 34

The first step in repairing a transgression is to talk about the violation.

The best way to write a wrong is to take responsibility for your transgression. An apology requires three elements:

1. An explicit acknowledgement that the transgression was wrong
2. A sincere apology
3. Some type of compensation – if I act that way again, you can call me on it

Forgiving transgressions – has both personal and relational benefits. Personally, can reduce emotional distress and aggression and improve cardiovascular functioning. Interpersonally, can restore damaged relationships.
Forgiveness must contain an explicit statement, and a discussion of the implications of the transgression and the future of the relationship

Question 35

A message that communicates information about the subject being discussed

Answer 35

Content message

Question 36

A message that essentially makes statements about how the parties feel toward one another

Answer 36

Relational message

Question 37

What are the four categories of relational messages?

Answer 37

Affinity, immediacy, respect, and control

Question 38

The degree to which people like or appreciate one another. A type of relational message

Answer 38

Affinity

Question 39

A type of relational message, the degree of interest and attention that we feel toward and communicate to others

Answer 39

Immediacy

A great deal of immediacy comes from nonverbal behaviour such as eye contact, facial expression, tone of voice, or the distance we put between ourselves and others. Also expressed through language like “we have a problem“

Question 40

A type of relational message. The social need to be held in esteem by others

Answer 40

Respect

Different then affinity which involves liking someone, because it is possible to like others without respecting them and to respect them without liking them

Question 41

The type of relational message. The degree to which the parties in a relationship have the power to influence one another

Answer 41

Control

Some types of control involve conversation - who talks, interrupts, or changes the topic most often. Another dimension involves decisions - who determines what will happen in the relationship

Relational problems arise when the people concerned have different ideas about the distribution of control

Question 42

Messages that people exchange, verbally or nonverbally, about their relationship – communication about communication

Answer 42

Meta-communication

Question 43

A state of personal sharing arising from physical, intellectual, emotional, and/or contact

Answer 43

Intimacy

Question 44

What are the four dimensions of intimacy?

Answer 44

Physical, intellectual, emotional, and shared activities

Question 45

The process of deliberately revealing information about oneself that is significant and not normally known by others

Answer 45

Self-disclosure

Question 46

A model that describes relationships in terms of their breadth and depth. In relation to self-disclosure

Answer 46

Social penetration

In casual relationships, the breadth may be great but not the depth. In intimate relationships, there’s probably high depth in at least one area. The most intimate relationships are those in which disclosure is great in both breadth and depth.

Question 47

The first dimension of self-disclosure, involving the range of subjects being discussed

Answer 47

Breadth

Question 48

A dimension of self-disclosure involving a shift from relatively non-revealing messages to more personal ones

Answer 48

Depth

Question 49

A ritualized, stock statement delivered in response to a social situation (self-disclosure)

Answer 49

Cliché

For example, how are you doing? Fine!
Sound superficial but serve to acknowledge a person’s presence and to engage in the social graces

Question 50

To qualify as a self disclosure, facts must be (3)

Answer 50

Intentional, significant, and not otherwise known

Question 51

Describe the degrees of self disclosure from least to most (4)

Answer 51

Clichés, facts, opinions, and feelings

Question 52

Describe the different parts of the Johari window which is one way to look at the role of self-disclosure in interpersonal communication

Answer 52

Part one – the open area, represents the information that you and others know about you. Example, address, your interests

Part two – the blind area, represents information that you are unaware of but others know. We’re example, you may not know that a professor thinks highly of you

Part three – your hidden area, represents information that you don’t share with others. For example, your past addiction

Part four – the unknown area, represents information unknown to both you and others. For example, future honours or awards or hidden talents that have yet to emerge

How the model works is that if you begin to self disclose more of your hidden area, then others will provide information about yourself that you don’t know

Question 53

What are seven benefits of self-disclosure

Answer 53

Catharsis- we disclose just to get it off our chest, can provide mental and emotional relief

Reciprocity – self-disclosure usually begets more of the same

Self-clarification – sometimes we clarify our beliefs, opinions, thoughts, attitudes, and feelings by talking about them out loud

Self-validation – when you disclose with the hope of obtaining a listener’s agreement; a confirmation of something about you

Identity management – sometimes information is revealed as a sort of marketing of ourselves

Relationship maintenance and enhancement – plays a role in relational success

Social influence – can sometimes increase your control over a person and the situation

The most important reason is for relationship maintenance and enhancement since how well we know the listener is the strongest predictor of self-disclosure.

Question 54

What sort of things should we consider when deciding to self-disclose?

Answer 54

Do you have a moral obligation to disclose?

Is the other person important to you?

Are the amounts and types of disclosure appropriate?

Is the risk of disclosing reasonable?

Is the disclosure relevant to the situation at hand?

Will the effect be constructive?

Is the self-disclosure clear and understandable?

Is the self-disclosure reciprocated?

Question 55

The choices people make to reveal or conceal information about themselves

Answer 55

Privacy management

Question 56

Sometimes honesty can have potentially unpleasant consequences. In such situations, communicators aren’t always honest and resort to four alternatives:

Answer 56

Silence, lying, equivocating, and hinting

Question 57

Withholding thoughts and feelings

Answer 57

Silence

Need not to be dishonorable, especially when total candour is likely to cause pain

Saying nothing or omission is usually judged less harshly than telling an out right lie or commission

Question 58

A lie defined by the teller as unmalicious or even helpful to the person to whom it is told

Answer 58

Benevolent lie

People lie for five major reasons: to save face, to avoid tension or conflict, to guide social interaction, to expand or reduce relationships, and to gain power

Question 59

Responding in language that has two plausible meanings. Spares the receiver embarrassment, can save face for both the sender and the receiver, and provides a viable alternative to lying

Answer 59

Equivocating

For example, if a friend asks what you think of an awful outfit, you could say, “it’s really unusual — one of a kind!“ or when someone gives you a present that you don’t like

Question 60

More direct than equivocal statements. These seek to get a desired response from others

Answer 60

Hinting

Instead of directly saying I’m too busy to continue with this conversation, a face-saving hint would be I know you’re busy; I better let you go

Question 61

What are some of the risks of self disclosure?

Answer 61

Rejection, negative impressions, a decrease in relational satisfaction, loss of influence, and hurting the other person