Chapter 7: Listening

Question 1

Making sense of others’ spoken messages

Answer 1

Listening

Question 2

Reacting to others’ messages automatically without much mental investment

Answer 2

Passive listening

Superficial listening, mindless. Allows us to focus on messages that require careful attention. Plus, it’s impossible to listen to everything.

Question 3

Giving careful and thoughtful attention and responses to the messages we receive

Answer 3

Active listening

Involves paraphrasing what an individual has said and then providing a thoughtful and careful response

Question 4

This type of listening involves evaluating and judging messages

Answer 4

Critical listening

Question 5

This type of listening involves mutual understanding and trust. Essential in interpersonal relationships

Answer 5

Empathic listening

Question 6

What are the five elements in the listening process?

Answer 6

Hearing, attending, understanding, responding, and remembering

Question 7

This element in the listening process is the physiological dimension of listening when sound waves strike the ear at a certain frequency and loudness

Answer 7

Hearing

Question 8

This element in the listing process is the process of filtering out some messages and focussing on others

Answer 8

Attending

Question 9

This element in the listening process occurs when sense is made of a message

Answer 9

Understanding

Question 10

The degree of congruence between what a listener understands and what the message sender intended to convey

Answer 10

Listening fidelity

Question 11

This element in the listening process consists of giving observable feedback to a speaker

Answer 11

Responding

Good listeners keep eye contact and react with appropriate facial expressions, give verbal feedback such as answering questions and exchanging ideas

Question 12

This element in the listing process is the ability to recall information

Answer 12

Remembering

Unfortunately, we remember only 50% of what we here immediately after hearing it. The residual message, what we remember, is a small fraction of what we hear.

Question 13

Name seven types of ineffective listening

Answer 13

Pseudolistening, stage hogging, selective listening, insulated listening, defensive listening, ambushing, insensitive listening

Question 14

An imitation of true listening in which the receiver’s mind is elsewhere. A type of ineffective listening.

Answer 14

Pseudolistening

Question 15

A type of ineffective listening. A listening style in which the receiver is more concerned with making a point than with understanding the speaker

Answer 15

Stage-hogging

Sometimes called conversational narcissist-try to turn the topic of conversations to themselves instead of showing interest in the speaker

One strategy is shift-response - changing the focus of the conversation from the speaker to the narcissist: you think your math is tough? You ought to try my communication class

Interruptions are another feature

Question 16

A type of ineffective listening. A listening style in which receivers respond only to the messages that interest them

Answer 16

Selective listening

Question 17

A type of ineffective listening. A style in which the receiver ignores undesirable information

Answer 17

Insulated listening

Question 18

A type of ineffective listening. A response style in which the receiver perceives a speaker’s comments as an attack

Answer 18

Defensive listening

Question 19

A type of ineffective listening. A style in which the receiver listens carefully to gather information to use in an attack on the speaker

Answer 19

Ambushing

Question 20

A type of ineffective listening, failure to recognize the thoughts or feelings that are not directly expressed by a speaker

Answer 20

Insensitive listening

Insensitive listeners tend to ignore nonverbal cues and lack empathy

Question 21

What are nine reasons why we don’t listen better? Or reasons that make it impossible for us to listen well all the time

Answer 21

Message overload – we are faced with too many messages all competing for our attention

Preoccupation – preoccupied with personal concerns such as worry

Rapid thought – the average person speaks between 100 and 150 words per minute, but we can process information at rates up to 600 words per minute. Leaving us with spare time in our minds which we fill by thinking about personal interests etc.

Effort – listening is hard work

External noise – the physical world often presents distractions that make it hard to pay attention to others

Faulty assumptions – we often make faulty assumptions that lead us to believe we are listening attentively when quite the opposite is true. Less likely to listen when subject is a familiar one, assume speaker thoughts are too simple or too complex, or when we think the topic is unimportant

Lack of a parent advantages – it often seems that there’s more to gain by speaking than by listening

Lack of training – listening is a skill

Hearing problems

Question 22

What are four ways to improve your listening?

Answer 22

Talk less

Question 23

Using silences and brief statements of encouragement to draw out a speaker

Answer 23

Prompting

Besides helping you better understand speaker, prompting can help listeners clarify their thoughts and feelings

Uh-huh, that’s true

Question 24

A style of helping in which the receiver seeks additional information from the sender to be sure the speakers thoughts and feelings are being received accurately

Answer 24

Questioning

Can help the asker fill in facts and details, learn what others are thinking and feeling, and find out what the other person may want. For the person answering the questions, they can serve as a tool for self discovery

Question 25

Questions that call for a specific or yes/no response

Answer 25

Closed questions

Question 26

Questions that allow the respondent to answer in a variety of ways and to include a great deal of description and detail

Answer 26

Open questions

Allow speakers to express how they think or feel about something

Question 27

Questions aimed at soliciting information that enables the asker to understand the other person

Answer 27

Sincere questions

Question 28

Questions aimed at sending rather than receiving a message

Answer 28

Counterfeit questions

Question 29

What are six counterfeit question varieties

Answer 29

Questions that trap
the speaker: you didn’t like that movie, did you?

A tag question: like did you? Or isn’t that right?

Questions that make statements: are you finally off the phone? or emphasizing certain words can also turn a question into a statement. Questions can also be used to offer advice – are you going to stand up to him and give him what he deserves?

Questions that carry hidden agendas: are you busy Friday night? They are set ups for the proposal that follows

Questions that seek “correct“ answers: do these jeans make me look fat?

Questions based on unchecked assumptions: why aren’t you listening to me? What’s the matter?

Question 30

Repeating a speaker’s thoughts and/or feelings in the listeners own words.

Answer 30

Paraphrasing. Also known as active listening

Feedback that tells you if you’ve understood what’s been said before you ask more questions

Sometimes a paraphrase will reflect the ideas you think a speaker has expressed, can be used to learn whether your perception of a person’s feelings is accurate, can be a tool for helping others – shows your involvement and concern, encourages the problem holder to discuss the matter and unload their concerns, and helps them sort through the problem and find solutions that weren’t apparent before

Question 31

What are three approaches to make your paraphrasing sound more natural

Answer 31

Change the speakers wording, offer an example of what you think the speaker is talking about, reflect the underlying theme of the speakers remarks

Question 32

A helping response that reveals a listener’s solidarity with the speaker’s situation

Answer 32

Supporting

Come in the form of expressions of care, concern, affection, and interest, especially during times of stress or upset

Question 33

What are five types of supportive responses?

Answer 33

Empathizing – I can understand why you’d be upset about this

Agreement – you’re right, the landlord is being unfair

Offers to help - I’m here if you need me

Praise – wow you did a fantastic job

Reassurance – I’m sure you’ll do a great job

Question 34

What are six ways that you show cold comfort or not being supportive?

Answer 34

Deny others the right to their feelings – don’t worry about it

Minimize the significance of the situation – it’s only a job

Focus on “then and there” rather than “here and now“ - you’ll feel better tomorrow

Cast judgement – it’s your own fault

Focus on yourself – share a similar experience

Defend yourself – don’t blame me

Question 35

A helping style in which the listener offers an interpretation of a speaker’s message

Answer 35

Analyzing

Can help people consider alternative meanings or things they wouldn’t have thought of without your help, can clarify a confusing problem so that a solution emerges, or can create more problems than it solves. For example, your interpretation may not be correct and can confuse matters, could arouse defensiveness as it implies superiority

Question 36

A helping response in which the receiver offers suggestions about how the speaker should deal with a problem

Answer 36

Advising

Can be helpful if it’s given in a respectful caring way, but is actually unhelpful as often as it is helpful. Consider if the advice is needed, wanted, given in the right sequence, coming from an expert, if advisor is a close and trusted person, if it’s offered in a sensitive face-saving manner

Question 37

A response in which the receiver evaluates the senders message either favourably or unfavourably

Answer 37

Judging

Question 38

What are seven listening or helping responses?

Answer 38

Prompting, questioning, paraphrasing, supporting, analyzing, advising, and judging